Fucked up dreams.

If this is how my muscles feel like after spending an evening with 5 gay boys, how will I feel when I spend it with lesbians???

I discovered yesterday that speaking English and writing it are two totally different things! It's been awhile since the last chance I had to speak it so last night while I was at Tampere Seta's international rainbow group trying to explain myself I hit a few road pumps. Writing is so much easier. Seriously.

Now to my dream from last night. I hope this is not a foreshadowing of any kind...and you'll know why next week. But anyway, back to my dream. It involved Dunkin Donuts. I was somewhere, no idea where and all of a sudden Lea is there, sitting next to me. We talk for awhile about the break up and then it gets quiet. Then the next time I look over Lea has all of sudden turned into Shari. I just lost it so I had to walk away for a while. I walked into the local Dunkin Donuts (obviously we're in somewhere on the east coast of US of A) and ordered my usual (medium iced blueberry, light with cream). When the guy comes back he hands me a cup with no ice and a shot of espresso on the bottom of the cup. I ask him where's the cream and he proceeds to FILL THE CUP with CREAM!  Now medium sized iced coffee cup in DD is about 4 or 5 deciliters so this cup had maybe 1dl of coffee and 4dl of cream. No way Jose! I gave it back and asked for my real order. And let's not forget that iced coffee does NOT have a shot of espresso in it, it's straight up coffee so what the fuck he was giving me a espresso shot for is beyond me.

As I'm waiting for the pimply faced teenager to give me my order I become aware of the group of guys behind me. One of them is giving me looks I don't appreciate and I become agitated and little worried. At this point I've waited for my coffee for like 30 minutes and I'm losing my mind. When the guy finally comes to me he has a large iced coffee that's way too dark for my liking. I ask him "Blueberry, right?" And he replies "caramel". I think about this for a second as I really want my coffee but at the same time it's the wrong flavor with the wrong dairy. Large size be damned, this is my first DD since coming to USA and I want it the way I like it! So I tell him, and at this point I'm tongue tied, that I want it the way I ordered it. And what comes out of my mouth is "Strawberry". STRAWBERRY? Seriously?!? Strawberry! I'm not even sure of they have that flavor in real life but I sure as hell do NOT want strawberry, but the pimply faced boy takes off and I'm left to wait once more.

After waiting for my coffee once again for extended amount of time I ask to see the manager. I explain the situation to him and at this point the DD has slowed down significantly so almost all the workers are hanging out around where I'm waiting. Then from the other side of the store comes a girl with my coffee in hand with 2 insurance company workers on her trail with oversized insurance folder and pen and the workers around me start to hum "here comes the insurance people"... The girl hands me my coffee and the insurance people hand me the paperwork to sign so that this incident does not hike up the stores insurance premiums! Crisis averted...or so they seem to think. I woke up before I could taste my coffee so I don't know if it was strawberry flavored, if it was good or what happened next but all I know is that I'm drinking my hazelnut flavored DD coffee at home right now and thoroughly enjoying myself. If I fuck up the coffee there's no one but me to blame!

I don't know where Lea and Shari came from to my dream, but DD is pretty obvious...and yesterday I was gonna go to get an iced coffee at Tampere but was late because of my detour going in and enjoyed the the gay boys so much that I stayed later than I thought too. So no iced coffee for me. Source of frustrating dreams, perhaps?

PMS water

So I have been thinking about inventions. Getting rich, you know? Coming up with a product that would sell like crazy and I think I figured it out. The only thing is, I'm not smart enough to actually create it. And what is it, you ask?

I had my period this week. TMI, I know. But when it's that time of the month, my kidneys are yelling at me and they work on overtime. I go to the bathroom like once every hour when usually I go maybe 4 times a day. I feel like my kidneys are just pushing out every single drop of liquid I have in my body to the point where there's no more to process. I drink crazy amounts of water and nothing helps...not even the vitamin and mineral waters that are supposed to make your skin look healthier or your nails grow stronger or whatever else the bottles say they'll do. So why is it that with over 3 billion women on this earth ALL suffering from some degree of pain during their period there is no product to help you with that? Which brings us to my inventions...or idea at this point but still...throwing this out to the universe: PMS WATER! Seriously!?! Wouldn't it be awesome if you could drink a bottle of water designed to help with your PMS'ing? That would help with the screaming kidneys, the lower stomach pain/cramps and at the same time help you drink your required amount of water per day?

I just don't know what the ingredients would be, which is why I will never get any financial gain from this awesome product but if any of my readers are smart enough to figure this out, send me a sample! And you're welcome!

When PMS water hits the stands, remember you heard it here first!

Song of the day: Venice Beach by Jenn Foster. Great song and Venice is coming back in a month!