Jenni in America...or am I?

What the hell?

2012-02-01T13:41:00.000+02:00

So if you know me and have been to my place, you'd know that I'm not the most cleanest person. I don't have trash lying around or major dust bunnies ready to attack you or anything like that but my things have a tendency to not find their way back to where they belong and the dishes do pile up more often than not. But now that I have kittens who explore and chew and play with everything they can get their claws on, I've made an effort to keep my stuff where it belongs and I have even dusted more often. Twice in the past 2 weeks, if you can believe it! And yesterday I took the rugs out, I dusted and vacuumed, even moved the 5 ton couch to get underneath it so you'd think that this place is clean, right? I thought so. I mean it can obviously never be totally cat hair free and with 2 mid long haired kittens it's virtually impossible but I tried. So why is it that Brooklyn's tail looks like this?

And I didn't use him to dust so there's no reason why his tail should be covered with dust, or dust-like particles!

Ever since I moved here I've wanted black sheets! I didn't have any under sheets that fit my bed so I had to buy some but they didn't have black ones then so I had to settle with other colors. Last week I went and got that black sheet and put them on. And boy are they great! But...it might not be the bestest of ideas to have black sheets when you have 2 black and white cats! Let's just say that after a week the sheets are less than black. But I still love them! The problem is, It's sometimes hard to spot DD from the black ground but thankfully she usually has her paws up!

You can spot Brooklyn easily though

Brooklyn's also a fan of sleeping under covers.

He will burrow himself by my feet and get cozy and warm.

It's dark and blurry but Dunkin Donuts has taken over over half the bed in width. And yes, that's how she sleeps sometimes.

Whereas BK likes to have covers, DD likes pillows. Middle of the bed between the pillows is her favorite place. The sheets have the fur to prove it!

I'm still not sleeping through the night but when I do have to kick them out it's usually closer to 6 than 4am. DD has learned to not bite me to show her affection and BK is not licking my face as often as he used to so we are definitely making progress. If I had to wake up early it would not be a problem as I have 2 living alarm clocks ready to wake me up before dawn. Now I wake up to Brooklyn positioning himself on or next to my chest and purring as loud as he can with the occasional licks for good measure. He has not learned what NO means so sometimes if it's early I get up, get outside the bedroom and have the cats follow me. When we're outside, I quickly come back inside and close the door on them. I dread the day when they realize what I'm doing and it will stop working on them. But until then... The good thing is, in these 3 months I have learned to not fully wake up when getting them out. I'm kind of sleep walking. If I awoke fully, I wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep and there's just no reason to be up at 6 or 7 am now is there?

Enjoy this beautiful winter day and bundle up! Forecast predicted -27 degrees Celsius for tomorrow few days ago. If that happens it'll be colder than the coldest from last winter in Forssa which was about -20-22 degrees C.

Oh yeah, almost forgot! Got my T-shirt for Pride in the mail today! YES! so excited! Thanks Candice!

Boy bands

2012-01-25T19:05:00.000+02:00

Every single girl on this planet, whether gay or straight, has that one boy band that they crushed on when they were teenagers, whose songs bring all the teenage angst and love and hate and all those other feelings forth. For my generation (that just makes me sound old) depending on which continent you grew up in, it's between NKOTB and Take That, or other british boy bands. I think I was just few years or a year too young to really get on the NKOTB bandwagon but really LOVED Take That.

I was so crazy about Take That, that I called a friend who subscribed to Finnish teen magazine "Suosikki" and asked her if she would sell the Take That posters to me that were in one weeks/months magazine and when she said yes I left her on the phone while I rode my bicycle to her house about 20 minutes from mine. When I got there I asked her mom where she was and she said still on the phone waiting to hear from me. Oops! My room was plastered with Take That posters. I loved the music. Gary and Howard were my favorites. Was so sad when they broke up. No major feelings when they regrouped few years back.

Reason why I'm writing about this is because I have been listening to my iTunes and once in a while their songs pop up. And it's kind of, how should I say this? Not-worth-calling-your-friend-and-asking-her-to-sell-her-posters...It can still make me remember all those things I felt when I first started listening to them but now it's like if you were just coming out with these songs you'd never make it.

I never saw Take That in a concert but I did see Mark Owen in Swansea at "Party in the Park" while me and Laura were volunteering there in the summer of 2003.

We also saw Liberty X, Girls Aloud and another girl band whose name I can't remember and the pictures are all kind of blurry so I can't even try to recognize them.

Anyways, just thought I'd share. It was something that I have been thinking about for few weeks now. Also, went and voted for Pekka Haavisto for president today. Now we'll just wait till the 5th to hear the results. Let's make history again Finland!

This and that

2012-01-24T20:09:00.000+02:00

I bought a scale today. I really wanted to see how much the kittens weigh because the Veterinarian didn't weigh them and Ybi's scale wasn't calibrated so those results were tentative. And it might be good for me and my life style stomach to know when to stop eating and maybe, maybe start exercising.

When I brought the kittens home I was given starter packages for them, sponsored by Science Plan cat food brand. They also included a little health booklets for both where you can follow their development, healthy weight etc. I'm sure you know that I think my kittens are kinda skinny, I mean I have been talking about it. They're kinda long and now that they are shedding some of their baby kitten fur, Brooklyn especially is looking really thin. DD has the advantage of long hair so she at least looks fluffy and since she's smaller than BK, with the extra fluff she looks stockier. More like the norm that I got used to with Sox and Bailey. Well, looks like I was totally wrong about their skinniness. According to the booklet male kittens 5,5 months old should be about 2,7kg on average. Brooklyn is 3kg. Females at this point should be about 2kg. DD is 2,7kg! She's so big that she's not even in the female chart anymore! And seriously, I check their forms everyday and they definitely do NOT have any extra fat anywhere! But, few of my friends who've seen them have said they think they'll be big cats so hopefully this is just because of that.

We are still on course to have the first openly gay president in Finland. He was able to come in second at the first round so for the next 2 weeks both of them will be running around all over Finland to make their case. Early voting starts tomorrow and I'm gonna go vote before or after my hair appointment tomorrow. Pekka Haavisto for President!

Presidential Election

2012-01-22T21:02:00.000+02:00

Today is the first round of Finnish Presidential Election. When I turned 18 and was eligible to vote My mom told me to always vote for a woman because men will not represent the things that are important to me, as a woman. And I have. Until this election. There are 8 candidates, 6 men and 2 women. I will NEVER vote a christian democrat, even if the online "election machines" make me out to be one and Eva Biaudet was not "it" for me. My vote went for Pekka Haavisto and if he makes it to the second round my vote will go to him again.

I am now watching the election broadcast at MTV3 and they have already have a little mishap. They were interviewing Paavo Väyrynen with his wife and afterwards the hostess said that "behind every successful man is a wife or a woman". As she was saying this they had a screen with Pekka Haavisto waiting to be interviewed and as a gay man in a registered partnership I thought it was extremely heteronormative.

The final results are over an hour away and as of right now Pekka Haavisto is in 3rd place. A lot of urban votes are yet to be counted so this will hopefully change and he will move to second place and into the second round. The people speculating on TV are saying that many of the feminist votes are going to Pekka Haavisto instead of the 2 female candidates because of his sexuality and they feel that he's the best of the men. That's part of the reason why I am voting for him. Part is that he has international experience and I feel that he could represent Finland in a positive manner. President may not have a lot of power anymore but he/she is still the figurehead of this country and I would much rather see someone "hip" representing Finland than some grumpy old man.

But whatever happens, Finland has taken a huge step ahead in the equality department with an openly gay man being so successful in an election which is more about the person than a party. Go Pekka!

Dunkin Donuts playing fetch

2012-01-18T13:30:00.001+02:00

I though the pretty face needed a post of her own. I uploaded both of the videos on youtube yesterday but for some reason the one with just DD took a way too long so I couldn't post it yesterday. But here it is now. Sorry about the quality but my camera sucks!

I would like to point out that even though she didn't exactly bring the balls back to ME, she did go after them and carried them back to my vicinity so that I didn't have to be the one to go get them in order for the play to continue. Which hasn't happened with DD before. Brooklyn brings the balls back to me if he's the one to catch them but if it was DD, he didn't bring them back. So now maybe the chances of the balls being returned to me have gone up slightly.

oh happy day!

2012-01-17T20:52:00.000+02:00

My kittens are geniuses! There's no other way to describe them! And can you imagine how happy I am to discover that Dunkin Donuts is not just a pretty face! It might take her a little longer to learn these things but today, out of nowhere, she fetched the ball! 4 times in a row! And twice on camera! I'm downloading them on youtube as we speak! I'm so happy! I'm so proud!

Brooklyn and Dunkin Donuts fetch the ball

Walk down the memory lane with Emperor's fiancee

2012-01-17T16:33:00.001+02:00

I was googling cat fur patterns and colors yesterday because I wanted to get a word to describe what type of cats I have and also what types Sox and Bailey were. Well Sox obviously is a tuxedo, same as Dunkin Donuts. Bailey is a tabby cat and now I have a confirmation for Brooklyn. According to wikipedia, the most accurate information site out there, he is, indeed, a "moo cat". Black and white cow pattern equals "moo cat". There you have it folks. As I was doing this I had to go to my files and look at the pictures of Sox and Bailey because I couldn't remember what they looked like exactly. It's a sad sad state we're in...can't even remember my poor babies anymore. But looking at those pictures I can now totally understand why I think Brooklyn and DD are too skinny. Sox and Bailey are big girls! I don't think I really understood their weight problems until now that I have DD and BK. And even though these 2 are just wee kittens and still growing, the difference is huge.

You know what else is sad? Adulthood! It's the stage in your life when you willingly do things you swore you'd NEVER do again when you were a kid. I have found myself having a bowl of oatmeal every night for I don't even remember how long. And as someone who spent 6 years in kindergarten eating breakfast there every morning, breakfast usually equalling oatmeal, I am totally disgusted with myself! Although the oatmeal they fed us was nothing like the flavored instant just-add-hot-water oatmeal I'm eating now but still. Oatmeal is oatmeal even if you fry it in butter. And back then you either just ate it as such or maybe added some sugar and a dollop of butter. No cinnamon, no apples, nothing. Plain oatmeal still tickles my gag-reflexes. Just like banana yogurt does and I used to eat it like crazy when I was a kid. It was the only flavor that didn't have fruit pieces in it. For some reason fruit pieces offended my sensibilities.

Wanna know what I drink with my oatmeal? A cup of TEA! Check out my profile on the upper right hand corner. What does it say? Something about being a coffee drinker and hating tea cuppers? Tea Party is giving tea drinkers a bad name. And for coffees sakes, I named my cat "Dunkin Donuts" after my favorite coffee chain! You can't get much further away from tea party/cuppers/drinkers. But, I do remember my friend Antti saying once upon a time that drinking tea was so gay. That was right before he himself started drinking it. And he's straight. So there seems to be a conflict of interest: on one hand there's the homophobic religious right of US political map who call themselves the tea party, which would just be so totally against everything I am or represent and on the other hand there's Antti, my straight friend saying drinking tea is gay. Should I listen to the people who hate me and who and what I am or my friend? Hmmmm...there's a problem if ever you encountered one! But I still maintain my coffee drinker status.

To go back to my tea drinking ways...The brand I drink is called "Emperor's fiancee". It's something that I drank at Janne's place when he was living next door at Linikkalankatu. It's also around the time when I had my first girl crush. Or obsession. potato-potato. And when I had the subsequental boy crush. When I projected my girl crush feelings to a boy so I wouldn't have to deal with the fact that I was totally crushing on a girl. Great survival mechanism. I was about 14 at the time. Time sure flies when you're gay. Or coming to terms with the fact that you're gay. As I came out at 24 so it only took me about 10 years to deal with it. Anyway, the taste and smell of the tea just brought all that back. So I thought I'd share. No reason for me to walk down memory lane by myself.

Have a blessed Tuesday! OYG, the tea is making me religious! Somebody come and take it away!!!

Till next time!

The perfect winter's day

2012-01-08T13:13:00.000+02:00

Today is the first "real" winter's day of this winter and I feel like all is right in the world. You can't be sad, or depressed or gloomy in this weather. It's -12C/10F and the sun is shining. I just took the rugs outside, I'm enjoying my umpteenth cup of coffee of the morning and am about to vacuum. If I had a washing machine I would be doing laundry today and if I had food in the fridge I'd be cooking today. THIS is what perfect weather does to me. It motivates me. It makes me want to do things, finish things. Be productive. This is the weather we enjoyed the whole last winter. Snow, below freezing temperatures, sunshine. Perfect!

This is what you get when you "complain" about your winter weather and how pointless having your winter clothes are in Finland when there's no need for them. I should try to jinx these more often!

Let's hope more of days like these for this winter! Enjoy it while you can.

It's Swedish time again! YAY!

2012-01-07T18:29:00.000+02:00

Naturally I would be the one to get the over-achieving kitten, right? And this time I'm not talking about Brooklyn. No, I'm talking about Dunkin Donuts and the fact that she just had to be in heat as soon as it's kittenly possible! The pamphlets said kittens start to be in heat between 4 and 6 months old...So whatcha know, DD just went right and in embraced it! But...if she's in heat NOW, it means that she can't be "with kittens", right? So me having to listen to this kitty cat concert and having to witness my babies in compromising positions and having to get up a 1000 times a day to go check what's up with her/them is worth is because we are not having baby kittens, right? I'm not gonna be a grandma, right? RIGHT?!?

I don't think Brooklyn's in heat yet, because he's not the one serenading nor is he marking his territory and he just looks kind of confused by what DD is doing and shaking her ass in his face but I think some of the pheromones are getting to him. He might not know exactly what or why he's doing it and I'm hoping there's no juice in his pistol but it does worry me. And we just went through this 2 weeks ago. I thought it should have been 3 weeks in between. But I will gladly listen to all of her concerts for the next month if it means she's not with kittens so we can get them neutered next month. February has never looked better as month!

I've come to the conclusion that cats are like gold fish. Their memory is reset every morning. Like when have I ever put their food in the trash can for them to eat? But still, every morning they insist on trying to get to the trash when I put the wrapping in there. And still, every morning they insist on checking what's gonna come out of the fridge when I open the door. And they both know which drawer is their food drawer.

Cats, I swear...

Illogical rationalization

2012-01-04T14:23:00.000+02:00

Last Friday when I was walking home through the rain and slush from the grocery store with my backpack full of cat food I got it. I finally could understand the people who spend all their money on their pets, put them in diamond crusted collars and feed them more expensive foods than they themselves eat. As I don't have the means to give Brooklyn and Dunkin Donuts diamond crusted collars right now (nor would I ever do that no matter how many millions I was worth) I am just going to have to make sure they have enough food and toys and other equipment they need.

I didn't buy x-mas presents for anyone else except few toys for DD and BK and even those have not really been hits. I bought them these mouses that had catnip parcels in them and I think either the catnip had lost its mojo or my kittens don't react to catnip. The package also said that they could be used as activation toys, put treats in them and cats would try to get them. Well, as DD refuses to work for her food, it's kind of pointless. And BK chewed the tail from one of the mouses so I had to cut the tail from the other as well. What the hell kind of toys crumble like that? I of course immediately thought it will be dangerous for the kittens and their digestive systems to swallow plastic and this wasn't exactly my first scare thinking they ate something they weren't supposed to.

I gave the kittens the corks from plastic bottles and they have been the most treasured toys especially for DD. She can hunt them for hours! And she's very territorial of them. I've given them like 5 of them and then one day before x-mas I realized that I hadn't seen any of them for a while. I went through the whole apartment, all the nooks and crannies I could think of and nothing. I even went as far as feeling up the cats because I was certain they had swallowed them whole and soon they would start exhibiting signs of discomfort and basically die on me. The joys of single motherhood! As a last resort I took a flash light and looked under the couch again. And there they were, all of them. Phew! I was sweating like crazy at that point but thankful my babies were ok and I wouldn't have to dish out tons of money for the vet appointment and surgeries etc.

I've said this many times and I even thought I had it in my profile on Facebook in the "about me" sections but I don't.."Cat is not a cat unless it's fat"! I love fat cats. Sox and Bailey were just so cute and cuddly and I love the chubby stomachs of cats. I think it's some kind of disorder I have, genetic mutation or something. I obviously don't want my kittens to get sick so I want them to be regular weight and I also understand that they are growing like crazy right now but is it just me or do they look very skinny? The kitten pamphlets I got with the cats said that kitten is healthy and normal weight when you can feel it's ribs but not see them. That's what BK and DD are. And after their vet appointment a month ago when I put them on a scale they were between 2,2 and 2,6 kg. The scale was off a little so I can't be sure of the exact weights. And I think Brooklyn especially looks really skinny since DD is so fluffy. Every once in awhile I have to flatten DD's fur just to see that she's not actually fat. DD is very much a food nazi and always makes sure she eats enough so sometimes Brooklyn is kicked out of the food bowl. He doesn't want to fight with DD.

As part of my OCSFCD (Obsessive compulsive shopping-for-cats disorder I bought them cat milk. Because really, if kittens between 3 and 6 months old grow many times faster than human babies and human babies main dietary ingredient is milk, which is full of calcium for healthy bone growth...I need to give my kittens milk for calcium for...you get me? And since kittens cannot absorb cow milk they need their own concoction. I bought Whiskas cat milk because I've given them Whiskas food and it's sexy to stay in-brand. And you know, just to make sure they like the milk and don't get sick by it. With 1,25 euros per 200ml bottle and me not made of money, I opted for cheaper brand. same size but 75 cents per bottle. And even cheaper with Arttu's discounts. Now I either need to give them both their own bowls for the milk or hold DD back while BK is drinking it because DD is crazy about her milk. I think DD has potential to become a fat cat unless she keeps running around like the crazy cat she is. But they're only 5 months old...we've got time!

There was supposed to be some kind of idea for this posting but I think I lost it somewhere along the way...

My lil mama's boy

2012-01-01T20:20:00.000+02:00

Brooklyn's way of saying too much computer time, too little cuddling. He's such a mush!

New year's resolutions for 2012

2011-12-31T18:40:00.000+02:00

I'm in my PJ's on my couch which obviously means I'm not going anywhere tonight. Staying home making sure the kittens are ok with all the loud noises coming from outside. So far they don't seem to care, which is a very good thing. I personally, though, wished that Finland would stop selling fireworks to individuals and those who need to have them in their lives could just pay small fee to the city to have professionals handle them. No need for this 24/7 for 3 days bullshit. And no need for all those eye accidents and burns and mental anguish idiots inflict on others. I have a scar in my eye ball which I got when I was a kid from a wayward spark from a roman candle and since then I've had major hatred for less-than-professionally-handled-fireworks.

Anyway, I have beer, guacamole, chips, pop corn, candy and salad to take care of my nourishment and kittens to keep me company. And noisy neighbors. What else could you need?

If there are Conan O'Brien fans out there, you might remember his Late night with Conan O'Brien skit for new years where one of the band members sang "In the year 2000...In the year 2000" after which Conan and a celeb guest would made all kinds of predictions for the coming year... Here's him with Megan Mullally (Karen from Will and Grace)

So that's what I'm gonna do too. In stead of making resolutions that I won't keep, I'm gonna predict the future. So here goes nothing!

In the year 2000...In the year 2000...

I will continue NOT to go to the gym but instead let my waist expand.

I will continue enjoying Corona's even though they destroy my budget.

I will continue embrace my OCSFPD, Obsessive Compulsive Shopping-For-Pets Disorder.

I will continue to be excited by everything the kittens do and gush about it on every possible media I can.

I will continue to be lazy.

I will continue to hate fireworks.

I will get the hell away from Forssa. One way or another.

In the year 2000...In the year 2000...and 12.

So, there you have it. Hope you are able to keep your New Year's resolutions. Have a great 2012! See you next year!

It's the little things

2011-12-29T23:56:00.000+02:00

If it wasn't for the fact that my pictures come out as a serial killer on steroids, I'd take and post a picture of the HUGE GIANT smile on my face right now! No, I didn't win the lottery. And no, I didn't get a job and I doubt even that would put a huge smile on my face. What is it then, you ask?

I caught Brooklyn fetching on camera! Like seriously, that kitten, that 4,5-month-old-kitten, can fetch! And I didn't teach him, he just started bringing the ball to me! And when I tell him to bring the ball to me, he just blobs down and expects me to get it. Showing his dominance over his slave! It's the little things in live. I feel like a proud mama! So accomplished! In the 2 months they've been with me I've done something right! Now I wish everyone else was as excited as I am about this but as a single mom I guess it's my duty/privilege alone.

Now I'm seriously thinking about teaching Brooklyn to use the toilet bowl... If he's this smart as just a mare kitten, imagine what we could do when he's little older! We could rule the world!

O.M.G Part 2

2011-12-26T17:38:00.000+02:00

Discovered the kittens in a compromising position this evening. Let's hope there won't be any kitten babies coming in few months. I'm so not ready to be a grandma anytime soon!

O.M.G!!!

2011-12-25T21:50:00.001+02:00

Or Oh Your God would be more accurate! This single parenthood is so not my thing! Like seriously! I figured out why Dunkin Donuts is speaking Swedish! SHE'S IN HEAT!!! My effin 4-month-old-kitty-cat IS IN HEAT! The good thing is, Brooklyn doesn't seem to be so hopefully I don't have to worry about my kittens having kittens right now...But seriously freaky stuff! And something I have to deal by myself!

Dunkin Donuts is meowing like there's no tomorrow, sometimes in Swedish and sometimes her soft little bird chirps. She's also on her back a lot, just rolling around. And then she's on her stomach with her tail up or to the side. Like seriously, no matter how broke I am in February, they are both getting neutered the first chance I got! I don't want to be acting as a kitten contraception! What should I do? Put a diaper on her? Is there such a thing as cat chastity belt?

And why does she have to roll in the kitty litter? With her long fur it gets everywhere!

I'm so not cut out for this! Is it February already?

Christmas riddle

2011-12-25T16:01:00.001+02:00

Answer this:

How does a Finnish cat with an American name speak Swedish? I know Brooklyn is like the world's most intelligent cat but Dunkin Donuts is more of a pretty face...so how does she have a Swedish intonation to her meowing? Her meow's go up at the end, not like Finnish which is kinda even or ends going down. It's very riksvenska. And she's been really vocal this christmas.

It just came to me. Had to share. And in case you're some random person reading this, I'm not really crazy nor do I believe my cats can speak in tongues. Also, she sounds like bird when she's excited and purring.

I'll go back to trying to record her meowing now...maybe I'll be able to prove it!

p.s. Social media and twitter in particular are weird media...I mentioned on twitter as a joke that my kittens should take acting lessons because they do the "it wasn't me, I'm innocent"-face so well and all of a sudden someone sends me a link to a website about acting! Someone who doesn't follow me nor do I follow him. And I did mention KITTENS in that tweet.

Also, as I started to get more and more hooker/porn star followers I decided to change my twitter name. I really really liked my twitter name but as it could be construed as something less than legal/up-and-up, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The last straw was a follower who had a picture of (his) butt as his profile picture. Naked butt I might add.

Snowman

2011-12-24T12:03:00.000+02:00

What an inspiring christmas weather we have! I don't remember weather this blah on christmas since...years ago? Last christmas we had more snow than north pole and the 3 christmases before that I spent in New York so snow was a crap shoot anyway. But this is just sad. It was raining yesterday and it hasn't really snowed that much this year yet, if it even will. I think Santa's sleigh might get stuck in this weather. And the only snowman you'll see is on TV.

In spite of the crappy weather have a merry christmas! Hyvää Joulua! God Jul!

Classic!

2011-12-22T15:42:00.002+02:00

Now, when I eventually have american friends visiting me here, the first thing I'm gonna do is fight with them and end up in jail! What am I talking about? Adam Lambert is visiting his boyfriend Sauli for x-mas and during a little partying at DTM last night they got into a fight with each other and ended up in jail... I was watching Sauli's little show on Iltasanomat on Monday where he was talking about the places he was gonna show Adam...I did end it before it was finished so I'm not exactly sure of the places he mentioned but I doubt jail was one of them! Anyway... This is what it must have looked like!

Brooklyn and Dunkin Donuts boxing. I tried so hard not to laugh at them.

And this is them in "jail".

X-mas miracle

2011-12-19T21:53:00.000+02:00

I know I already posted once today but this was too exciting to wait till tomorrow!

I just played FETCH with Brooklyn for like 10 times in a row! Dunkin Donuts was participating too but she didn't bring the ball back! Of course, as soon as I took the camera and started videoing it, Brooklyn became camera shy! I will see if I can capture it tomorrow! It'll be on youtube in no time!

Recycling Center of El Viiru

2011-12-19T15:42:00.000+02:00

Let's make it short and sweet again. Lots to say, no patience to write. When did I lose all my patience???

It's good to know I'm not the only one who is having trouble talking like normal person when interacting with Dunkin Donuts and Brooklyn. Marianne was here on Thursday and she's just as bad as I am with the baby talk! But you would understand and most likely be like me if you met the little terrorists yourself. I mean they are seriously cute. And fluffy. And beautiful. And adorable. And intelligent. They just require few "Ohhhh's" and "Awww's". There's nothing you can do. I think we, as humans, are conditioned to do that when facing cute fluffy kittens. It's natural. It's in our DNA. Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Elviira had invited us to go check out their new house (now that they've actually moved in) and Marianne offered me a ride there so she came over beforehand to check the kittens. She hasn't seen them since the day they moved in so it was about time since they've grown so much. We gossiped a little, had some glögi and joulutorttu and then I kicked Elviira's butt in WII bowling few times before getting tired (I'm not in shape) and losing the third one. And then it was time to do some "saving the planet" and take home some of their left over furniture that had become expendable in the new place. I got myself a living room table, new drawer for the bathroom and one for the hallway that we carried in yesterday. It's like my living room could be their "town home" with almost all the furniture coming from them. And they live in the "'burbs" now...

I went to see the movie "New Year's Eve" yesterday with Elviira and Finland was very well represented in the movie. Michelle Pfeiffer was carrying a Marimekko bag in her first scenes and John Lithgow was playing Angry Birds! Angry Birds has obviously taken over the world and there is, I believe, a Marimekko store in NYC so it's not so surprising to find Marimekko in New York City. Movie itself was cute chick flick but won't win any Oscars anytime soon.

The casualties left behind by the terrorists are mounting. First it was the iPod earphones they chewed through, then it was one of the speakers for my computer and/or iPod and now yesterday I realized they chewed the other speaker as well! Awesome! So no speakers...means no listening to iPod, right? Wrong! I realized that even though I don't have the iDog speaker I got from Santa few x-mases ago because it's either in fresh kills landfill in NYC or in other top secret location, I DO have the cable that goes with it and the cable, after a little jiggling, goes into the AUX inlets in my stereo system so I can listen to it on big speakers! I'm so brilliant sometimes I even surprise myself. And all this while writing this post and bitching about the weapons of mass destruction ruining my things!

I think that's about it for now...I will try to post before the week is over but if not...Merry merry and happy happy!

Hormones

2011-12-09T13:55:00.000+02:00

I took Brooklyn and Dunkin Donuts to see the vet last week and as I suspected, they had ticks in their ears. She gave them the medicine and told me to come back for a check up in a month. She also told me that I should probably have them neutered at 6 months old to prevent accidental litters. Which would be in 2 months from now as they are celebrating their 4-month birthdays today.

Ever since then I've been keeping an close eye on Brooklyn. I think he's becoming a hormonal teenager. He's definitely meowing more than he used to and he's sometimes acting a little too friendly/aggressive towards DD. And his little pee pee's out. I find that there are all kinds of things you need to think about when you have kittens. Like I said before, with Sox and Bailey all these things were taken care of. And they were old and peaceful.

Earlier today I was thinking about taking Brooklyn outside to use some of his excess energy. He's running from the door to the living room and back like a crazy cat and then he's jumping on the kitchen counters like 5 times in a row even after I tell him NO and spray him. And it's funny cuz they definitely know that kitchen counters are of limits and when they hear me getting off the couch they jump off. And run off to hide. And then they do it again.

I have now entered the bribing stages of the leash training. I don't give them treats anymore unless we walk from the kitchen to the front door twice. I dangle a bag of treats in front of them and when we're done they each get a treat. When they are done I take the leashes off. That way hopefully at some point they'll learn that even if they don't see the bag, they'll get a treat after we're done. I also thought that it would be good to train them together but I think BK might be ready to go outside sooner. He's more outgoing so trying to watch him and get DD to walk at the same time is almost impossible at this stage. I've taken them out to the balcony and BK wants to see everything but DD is just staying inside so I'm thinking BK should do fine on his own. Plus now they are growing so fast that I don't have hands anymore to hold both of them.

We've also tried some human foods that were on the list of acceptable foods their foster mom gave me. The ham I gave them was ok and DD was into boiled eggs too, she kept growling at BK. Bk wasn't a fan. Maybe I'll do one of the recipes I was given for them for x-mas. Little x-mas treat.

I'm debating whether I wanna go outside today at all since the wind is howling like it's a tornado season. But I do like the fact that it's starting to look like a winter wonderland outside! Love snow!

Have a great weekend!

Later

First snow of the year!

2011-12-05T23:30:00.000+02:00

It's December 5th and the first snowfall of the season is upon us! YES! Just in time for the gay dance/Independence day celebration tomorrow!

And they say there's no global warming!

What is in a name?

2011-12-04T22:01:00.000+02:00

This was just too good not to pass on. A friend of mine shared an article on Facebook which was about Finnish names and what type of personality goes with a name. This is what Jenni means:
"Jenni is a good friend, great girlfriend and even better wife! You're never bored with Jenni and Jenni knows how to take care of her loved ones!"

So there! It's in black and white! "Jenni is a great girlfriend and even BETTER wife! Too bad I can't legally be anybody's wife (yet) but when I can...remember, it's in my name!

I guess that's why they created dating!

Avoidance 101: The cat edition

2011-12-03T22:30:00.000+02:00

When you don't want to hear the lecture about what you did wrong, start cleaning yourself.

Below are the pictures of DD and BK that they were "sold" with. Look how small they were!

DD looks so dope in hers...She's really grown into herself! And she's much darker than the picture makes her appear. Her whole face is black now.

And Brooklyn just looks innocent as hell. Right! Brooklyn kind of reminds me of Bailey, actually. Obviously not the coloring but his face reminds me of Bailey's baby face. Just as DD reminds me of Sox.

Brooklyn is starting to look like Maine Coon or Norwegian, just without the tips of hair in the ears.

This is how we hang out in my house! Just chill! Brooklyn is SO mush!

Kitty cat bunk beds!

Is there anything cuter than kittens sleeping together? It's like overload of cuteness!

Brooklyn showing off his bicep workout. We start young in my house. He's actually trying to jump up there but was just a bit off still. In few weeks he'll be big enough to do that. Not looking forward to that!

When kids go quiet you know they're up to no good! Same with kittens. I guess they thought they were laundry and needed to be dried out!

Brooklyn's an avid reader. Or book chewer. Which ever way he learns best I guess... But isn't he cute?

More sleeping kittens.

Brooklyn with a mohican. Or is that DD's tail?

DD decided to borrow TJ's jersey. She's not happy with the way the Eagles have played this season.

Getting acquainted with their harnesses.

Posing with my stuffed animals. Don't BK and TJ look so much alike?

Brooklyn doing his daily yoga.

If that's not the world's cutest kitten tummy than I don't know what is.

Brooklyn's innocent face and DD's paws. I do have a thing for DD's paws too.

Bye!

1 month celebration

2011-12-01T13:46:00.000+02:00

Clearly I'm not the only one who's sensitive to our time together. I've now had the weapons of mass destruction for a month and they have really been on good behavior. Honeymoon of sorts, if you will. There hasn't been any major disasters, they haven't broken anything and the only thing really not cool was DD peeing in my bed the second day they were home. But of all of the glass candle holders and other little nick nacks around, nothing has been broken or fell down. Except yesterday, finally they decided that it's time to start causing some trouble. I was on my way to see my mom, put my wallet, iPod shuffle and keys on the floor, turned around for few minutes and when I went to pick them up, the ear phones for the iPod were chewed into pieces! And shuffle's a funny gadget, it doesn't have any controls except in the ear phones so I can't control it. I can use other ear phones to listen but without remote can't control the volume or change songs, play lists, nothing. Thanks monsters!

I am taking the monsters to the vet today. I think they have ear ticks (I am 100% that that's the accurate English term but don't feel like googling cuz it's so time consuming so just go with it) and I want them to be checked out. They shake their heads a lot and scratch them and have this dark stuff in their ears and according to my pamphlets that's the most likely cause. It's not like I'm really rolling in money but better safe than sorry. Besides, these are my babies! And I don't want it to turn into ear infections or anything more serious.

I was in a adventurous mood yesterday and decided to try to take the monsters outside. Of the apartment at least. Every time I leave the apartment now the terrorists are trying to come with me so I kinda need to move in the speed of light and shut the door in their faces and hope they stay inside. So I put the leashes on them and opened the door. They came out just fine but when it was time to go down the stairs DD wouldn't move and BK was heading down. I'm in the middle of the stairs when the lights go off. My hands are extended as far away from each other as can be and I can't reach the switch. We were able to go down one flight of stairs before I called it quits. DD really wasn't being cooperative and I was basically just wiping the floors with them so it's gonna take some time to get them used to the leashes. Harnesses go on and off easily but leashes are totally different story. Like they do in AA, one day at a time! But at least the stairs are clean now. No mopping necessary!

Gotta go! Later

I kissed a girl...and I liked it?

2011-11-30T14:19:00.001+02:00

Yes, this is about Glee.

Let's rant once again about socially important issues...like being gay. Like being gay and in the closet. Like being gay and being outed. Like being gay and coming out. Like being gay openly and proudly.

Being gay is not a desease. Being gay is not a choice. Being gay is not something you do because you're bored with your life or your boyfriend/husband/baby daddy is a douche. Being gay means you were born this way. Being gay means you are attracted to people of your own sex. Girls like girls and boys like boys. Simple. In theory, anyway. Reality is much more complicated.

Being gay means that life is one big coming out party. Every day, whether in your private life, or at work or in the public you have to make a conscious choice to either be who you are and share things about your life (my wife's home with the sick kids...) or act the way you want (hold hands with your love while walking down the street) or stay quiet and alter the way you interact with your loved one. Being gay means you are constantly having feelers out on the atmosphere around you and whether it's even safe to be you, be gay. It means that sometimes you need to scale down your PDA and being you in order to not make people around you uncomfortable.

Being gay means that you need to fight for and be vocal about the basic human rights like marriage, adoption, visitation at hospital and general recognition of your relationship every day for as long as you live because no one else is doing it for you.

Depending on the societal and religious atmosphere and the people around you being gay can either be really easy and wonderful or down right nasty and hard. Representation in the media is not often positive and when we see good role models, we grab on to them and won't let go. Obsess much?

Season 3 of Glee has been dealing with Santana's sexuality. She finally admitted to being gay, she's in a relationship(?) with Brittany, everyone at glee club knows but they don't talk about it. Then one day Finn outs Santana in the middle of the school hallway, it is overheard by someone, it ends up in a political ad and Santana is forced out of the closet without having any say in it. Then in last night's episode Finn decides that Let's embrace your awesomeness and gayness and sing songs about ladies, ladies loving ladies or by ladies who love ladies. It's all good, we're here for you.

Like I've said many times before, my life probably would have been easier have I had the understanding to accept and come out in my teens. It certainly would have kept me from making few mistakes BUT I was not ready so I denied it. I tried the "I'm gonna prove to myself (and everyone else that) I'm straight" -routine and had myself a big ole gay panic. But when I finally admitted it and embraced it I was so much happier for it. But it was my choice. No one forced me out of the closet. Having met T was a huge part of it too. How can you try to build a happy, healthy relationship if you're in the closet and can't share your happiness with the people in your life? There are so many internal hurdles you need to overcome before you can truly be happy and open with yourself and others. Being forced out of the closet can seriously hurt you and should not happen to anyone, no matter what the circumstances are.

So yesterday's episode of Glee, "I kissed a girl" was all about Santana coming out. Sort of. The glee clubbers sang a bunch of songs to show their support, Santana came out to her parents OFF screen (they were ok with it), and to her grandma ON screen, who threw her out. Then all the girls of glee club sang and danced to Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl". I've never liked the song and even though I love watching glee and will be watching that performance more than once in the very near future, I find that song to be very offensive to lesbians. Being gay is not fashionable. Being gay is not something you do because Katy Perry sings about it, or Lady Gaga says she's bi-sexual, or because Angelina Jolie once dated a woman. Kissing girls is not something you do just so that you can say you've done it and so that you can sing along Katy and be "cool for having done it". You don't kiss girls and hope your boyfriend doesn't mind it. You kiss girls because you WANT to. You ENJOY it. And they enjoy kissing you. You kiss girls because kissing boys is icky. Not a choice. You were born this way. It's in your DNA.

And the kicker? Santana and Brittany have not even KISSED yet on screen. Off screen they have sleep overs and take baths together. On screen they hug. On screen they kiss each other on the cheek. So...how can Santana know she likes kissing girls if she hasn't done it?

Guess I'm just a visual kind of person and need to SEE to believe it. If I didn't see it, it's not true/happening. So until I see an on screen smooch, I don't believe Santana knows what she's talking/singing about.

Once again, top notch performance by Naya Rivera and Heather Morris is as adorable as ever!

Moving on but staying in the category of shows with gay characters. You know you're getting old(er) when the moms of the show start being more your thing than the actual main characters! I love Pretty Little Liars and Shay Mitchell as Emily is just delicious beyond words but other than her for obvious reasons (her character is a lesbian), the other 3 main teenage characters are not doing it for me. They're good actresses, they are funny and do their jobs well but they are not attractive for me. But then we get to the mom department and Oh La La, boy are we talking. Laura Leighton (played Sydney on Melrose Place) as Hanna's mom and Holly Marie Combs (Piper on Charmed and Kimberly on Picket Fences) as Aria's mom are super hot!

According to imdb.com Picket Fences was on in USA from 1992 to -96 so I'm thinking it started in Finland around -93 or -94. Looking back now I think Holly Marie Combs was my first celebrity crush. Between Lauren Holly and Holly Marie Combs I didn't know who to cheer for! And yes, Costas Mandylor is hot too and I guess I sort of had a crush on him too but I might have also just been projecting. The rule #1 on being obsessive about a show you watch for the girls is to have a back up guy to talk about. "Costas Mandylor is soooooo hot! I can't wait for tonight when he's on TV" really means "Is is time to drool over Holly and Lauren yet?" I was so gay...SO GAY!

So yes, my gayness shone through even when I wasn't looking! (Is this the way the verb "shine" is used in past tense? If not, "shine through")

Btw, I uploaded 22 videos of the cats on youtube yesterday. You can find them here. And it looks like it was 29. Oops! Not the best quality as my camera is not really made for this but who cares! These are the early days of my babies at home! And I'm a cat-a-razzi of the worst order, so sue me! Or don't watch the videos...but they're cute! Really cute!

Have a great day everyone and remember to watch Venice tonight! www.venicetheseries.com. No more freebies on youtube!

Later

Sad faces and guilt tripping

2011-11-29T21:58:00.000+02:00

Twice now I've pointed the spray bottle towards Brooklyn without actually squirting him and he just looks at me and then shakes his fur like he actually got wet! He's just too funny! He's so cute. And he's just the biggest little care bear around. He does his thing, eat, poop, play but when he gets tired he comes to his mama and sits on my lap or chest and goes to sleep. And he purrrrrrrs. Love it!

While Dunkin Donuts inherited my good looks, Brooklyn got my intelligence! LOL! I have no doubt that if I put my mind to it I'd have Brooklyn using the toilet bowl in 6 months, tops. He's fascinated by it, in fact there's not much he's not fascinated by. He needs to be in the middle of everything. Often times multiple times and he's stubborn! Will not take no for an answer. He's already figured out the little activation toys. He swats the mouse once and the treats fall out. Dunkin Donuts does not want to work for her treats. She lays down close by and if Brooklyn accidentally leaves anything out, she's there to claim it. But she quits quickly. Brooklyn has really taken into this hunting business. So far my UGG slippers have been dragged from my bedroom to the living room and same with 2 of my stuffed animals. Brooklyn clearly has something against pink and bright blue as one of the animals is pink and white and the other one is a Smurf. He hasn't tried to maul T.J. yet but if he does...watch out because the spray bottle WILL be used! DD was nipping on Garfield which I guess makes her a cannibal. I've taken video of all of this and will upload them on youtube when I have a sec. I will post the link here too.

Dunkin Donuts is still a food nazi. I believe she eats more of the wet food than Brooklyn does and often times Brooklyn leaves before his portion is done and when he does DD moves onto his bowl. Brooklyn eats more of the dry food though. And drinks more I think.

I bought the harnesses for the kitties yesterday. There's still no snow and the temperature has been above freezing so I figured if I can get then accustomed to wearing them and being walked, I will take them outside for a short spin once a day. So far I've been able to master putting the harnesses on them but the walking part...at least in the apartment hasn't been pretty. Good thing the floor is slippery because they lay down and don't budge! They did walk each other yesterday though. I have video of that too! I think pretty much the only video I DON'T have is of them going to the litter box! LOL! And that's something I'm not willing to watch!

I wonder if there's any proven methods for teaching your kittens to SLEEP during night time? Like sleep school for babies. I know I basically have all day and all night to sleep if I feel like it but I still like my sleep during night time and I would love it if I could have the door open and kittens there with me. But no, the minute the lights go off, any movement under the covers sets them off into a wild goose chase! If I have the computer in bed, DD is usually curled up against me and BK is sleeping on my chest but the second I want to sleep, they're up. And every night I start with the good intention of having them there the whole night and having patience but it wears thin pretty quickly. And then I feel bad for throwing them out! And seriously, what is it about kittens and their guilt tripping anyway? They are master manipulators! Every time I catch them from the kitchen counters and spray them, BK especially just lays down, gives me this sad sad face like I'm the one who was being bad and I'm the one who should be sorry. WTF is that all about? And they have the cutest little faces so of course I feel bad and then go all soft and mushy on them. I'm such a sucker for cute little kitten faces.

Till next time...maybe with pictures, or more video. I had a perfect video I wanted to share but blogger refuses to upload it right now...or the 3 times I tried before.

Later!

The great hunter

2011-11-26T17:17:00.000+02:00

If I was living in the countryside and needed a great mouse cat, Brooklyn and DD would be perfect for the job. They clearly have great hunting instincts, as you can see from this video

If only there was some protein in that catch! I've caught him dragging that slipper from the bedroom to the living room 4 times now and he's not giving up!

It's funny how they know instinctually that something they're doing is wrong but still keep on doing it. Now that they are athletic enough to jump on the kitchen counters I hear them getting up there ALL the time but when I get to kitchen they have already jumped down. It's like the second I get up from the couch they know I'm coming and they know the spray bottle is coming too. And now they flee. They don;t just sit around looking all cute and innocent, they run away from me. They are totally taunting me! When they get on the desk or kitchen table and I come at them with the spray bottle they take it like it's nothing. They flinch a little but don't necessarily leave. With the kitchen counters it's different. Weird. You would think that with being sprayed enough times they'd learn NOT to do it but no...not these 2. I guess they think they can out-run me.

Venice season 1 and 2 are up on their Youtube channel every weekend during season 3. So you have few months to check it out!

Have a great weekend. Later

Kodak moment

2011-11-25T22:42:00.000+02:00

I'm so happy, my gaydar works!!! Ever since I saw this cashier at a local store I just KNEW he was gay. Well, I was like 95% sure he was gay. I was as sure about it as I was about Alvaro back at MSU international office and he turned out to be gay. You just gotta love social media! And how did I find out for sure? He looked up my profile on the Finnish equivalent of gay facebook. I, of course, don't have a picture up there so he might not know who I am, but I know who HE is and I know that he's gay so...I win! YAY for my gaydar! Of course this does absolutely nothing to help with the ladies but I've always known my gaydar works better on men than women so I'm just gonna have to live with it.

There is absolutely NOTHING that Brooklyn and Dunkin Donuts can do that is not worth snapping a picture of. Nothing. They are cute when they sleep, they're cute when they eat, they are cute when they purr, they are cute when they play, they are even cute when they annoy the hell out of me. They are just CUTE. I now basically have my camera with me at all times just so that I don't miss anything. Except when I go to the bathroom. Which would just be gross. But I'm missing great pictures ops. And now I'm really beginning to think that at least with Brooklyn I might have a shot of teaching him how to use the human toilet bowl. DD just hands out but Brooklyn gets up close and personal. When I flush, he gets up on his back paws and leans in and watches the water swirl. And after I left he just laid on top of the lid. I went to get my camera but he had moved already by the time I got back there.

I'm seeing the beginning stages of crazy-cat-lady-syndrom coming on. I talk about my cats all the time, I talk TO my cats all the time and I'm all sweet and sugary mush with them. And the baby talk. Please! It is just physically impossible to NOT talk to them like they're babies. Or like they understand anything I'm saying. But seriously, have you seen them? How cute are they?

Here's a video of Dunkin Donuts taking on a banana. Fruits can just be...dangerous and scary!

Brooklyn the great hunter got himself an UGG slipper earlier today which was caught on film but I'll post it another day.

To go back to my post from yesterday regarding Venice and TV shows... The thing about network shows with lesbian characters that annoy me is the hesitancy of which they touch each other. And the lack of intimacy and showing of affection. Not sure if it's the actresses, the directing, the network or what but with so many of these so called couples you wouldn't know they are a couple unless it's specifically addressed. With Grey's Anatomy season 7 once Callie and Arizona were "happy together" they acted like friends. If you didn't know they were "married"you'd never would have gotten it from the way they acted towards each other. The straight couples on the show were going at it like bunnies but the lesbian couple didn't even touch each other. No hand holding, no hair playing, no touching the face and NO kissing. With Brittany and Santana on Glee, unless they specifically mention that Santana is a lesbian or has the hots for Brittany you don't see it eaither. And they have not even kissed yet.

With Venice you don't see any hesitancy when Gina and Ani or Ani and Lara interact with each other and they've got the affection down to perfection. I don't necessarily need to see them going at it like bunnies but the fact that they can makes all the difference. And let's face it, NOT kissing or touching ever draws more attention than the occasional kiss or a hug. So to conclude...the acting on Venice is organic and relatable. And this concludes my gay rant.

Venice the Series

2011-11-24T22:02:00.000+02:00

I never thought I'd pay for a subscription to watch a show on the internet, especially in my financial situation but here I am, paying for Venice the Series. I've talked about the importance of positive role models for gay youth and even adults who are trying to come to terms with their sexuality and how important it is to see LGBT representation on your TV/computer screen. As great as it is to see Callie and Arizona on Grey's Anatomy, Emily and whichever-girl-she's-currently-dating on Pretty Little Liars or Brittany and Santana on Glee, those characters and relationships are still scaled down to suit the sensibilities of the white male christian america. It's kinda ok to be gay as long as no or very little intimacy is shown. For a person living in a country/area/region where it is not cool to be gay TV and web shows might be the only way to get in touch with community and to actually see "happy, content couple" representing their sexual orientation and the type of relationship they might want to have. If your family and society is always telling you being gay is wrong, how will you learn otherwise?

Last spring I was on afterellen.com reading about a possible lesbian couple on an american soap. They had a message board dedicated for the couple and someone mentioned or compared them to "Otalia on Guiding Light", another lesbian soap couple on another soap which had been cancelled few years before. They had a youtube link which I watched and immediately got hooked on. I watched their whole story from beginning to end and I gotta say, it was one of the best if not THE best love story I've ever seen on TV. It took them 1,5 years to do but you could see the slow build up and really understand what their love was based on. BUT, they were never allowed to kiss or do anything more than hug or "head bump" on screen. And the hugging really decreased once they were actually "dating". While they were still just friends and roommates they hugged quite a lot. Beautiful love story but very frustrating. Had I watched it in real time I'd probably would have pulled my hair out!

The actresses playing "Otalia", Olivia and Natalia, Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia had mad mad MAD chemistry. And their hot. Like super hot. And they were willing to do more than what the network gave them. So when the show was cancelled Crystal created Venice to continue to work the story, chemistry and fan base they've cultivated during the Otalia storyline. Which is where paying for a subscription comes in. In order to do more than network TV was willing to show they needed to go online. No outside censorship, but also no network money or advertisers.

Yesterday was the 3rd season premiere and I was eagerly waiting by my computer at 10pm when the episode came online. First people gracing your screen are Crystal and Jessica's characters Gina and Ani in bed together. What a great start! Is it next Wednesday already???

Not to forget my viewing pleasure but among other things the music is great. They use a lot of indie/no-name musicians who've submitted their songs to be used on Venice and I personally have broaden my horizons when it comes to music because of Venice. And I've actually bought the songs via iTunes instead of downloading them from other sites. Because it turns out I am actually willing to pay for quality. And for my rights. And for awareness. And for class acts like Crystal to continue to do what she does for my community. So...if you want to see what the fuzz is all about, you can see the first episode of every season on Youtube, just search Venice the Series. Their channel also has behind the scenes material and "talking about season 3"thingy do where Crystal talks with some of the cast members about the upcoming season. She and Jessica are so funny together. And cute. So cute. It is impossible not to smile when you look at them. It also might be because I'm a lesbian. And I totally heart them. And I feel a little pervy for totally hearting straight women who have husbands and kids at home but I do. If I was Catholic I'd go to confession but since I'm not I'm just gonna... go see the first scene from last night's episode.

And here's the music to accompany that scene.

Gia Ciambotti- Right as Rain

www.venicetheseries.com

http://www.youtube.com/user/venicetheseries

Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate!

Conditioning

2011-11-23T17:30:00.000+02:00

Once again I have too much going on in my brain and no patience to draw it out so I'm just gonna post quickly. I've been thinking that I'll probably post a little something about the kittens once a day if I don't have anything major going on or anything important to say.

I am proud to announce that Pavlov would be so proud of me and my ability to condition cats! I have now successfully conditioned a second set of cats into thinking that me making coffee equals them getting fed! It might be true in the morning but the afternoon coffee does not necessarily mean you are getting fed at that time too. And if I don't make coffee then does it mean you don't get any food at all that day?

Sox and Bailey were following me like hawks every morning making demands for food while I made my coffee. Dunkin Donuts and Brooklyn have taken similar approach. Understandable in the morning but during the afternoon, not so much. They could be sleeping soundly and when I start working on the coffee machine they'll be there keeping me company. All though if I'm having Dunkin Donuts, shouldn't Dunkin Donuts have something too?

This conditioning only works on coffee/feeding though. Even though I wheel my power over them by using my spray bottle when they do something they're not supposed to, as soon as I sit my ass back down on the couch they're back to bad habits. And now they have grown enough to be able to jump on the kitchen counters...I sprayed Brooklyn about 5 times in a row one day and he just doesn't learn. Same with my desk. And the kitchen table. Those I can somewhat tolerate but the kitchen counters are a definite no no. I don't have anything to shield the stove tops with after I've cooked so them getting up there and possibly burning their little paws is not something I want to happen. Need to go buy something to cover them with.

Tonights gonna be a great night! I am taking myself to see Twilight. I put it out on Facebook that I am going and would love some company but apparently nobody in Forssa wants to see it. Or are too ashamed to admit it! So I'm going alone. And then tonight at 10pm central Jenni time...Venice season 3 is back on! Woo Hoo! DD and BK are excited too.

Gotta go! Later

Cup of Dunkin Donuts with Dunkin donuts and Brooklyn...but not in Brooklyn

2011-11-20T13:13:00.000+02:00

This single mom thing is hard. I mean, there's no one to help with the diapers...um, litter box, no one to help with the feeding(s) and no one to help with the midnight wake ups. And with twins...super hard.

I went to bed at 11pm on Friday night because I got sig saw patterns on my line of vision, which means on-coming migraine. The headache was not there yet but since I didn't have a lot of pain medicine I decided that a dark room was my best bet. And I figured lets have the kittens with me. I also felt bad for them since I took away their hiding place. We covered the bottom of the couch with a fabric so they can't go inside the couch anymore which is where they slept and took refuge every time they did something bad or heard louder-than-normal voices or I was chasing them with the spray bottle. So I went to see where they were sleeping and decided to let them come with me. Trying to teach kittens how we sleep in my household while migraine's lurking around the corner? What the fuck was I thinking??? Even though they started out ok, they got up and got wild every time I went to the bathroom to moisten my towel so needless to say, out they went. And the good thing with a 3 month old kittens? They don't know how to beg yet! At least they haven't learned how to use their pathetic meowing to their advantage yet. You locked Bailey and Sox outside a room and ALL you heard was meowing. (I was not the disciplinarian in that household cuz I caved). These don't do it yet so I can do this, leave them outside the bedroom while I get some shut eye. Oh, and their chosen place of sleep if not my bed? My desk!

Then last night I figured ok, lets try this again. I'm clearly a sucker for punishment! I was watching a show on my computer in bed and left the door ajar. Soon enough the little monsters came inside and settled down. No toe or finger chasing happened at all. But then when I put the lights out they became super mush and were all over me. Brooklyn decided to sleep on my chest, sprawled across me. I moved an inch and the purring started. Since cats don't sleep very deeply every movement causes them to wake up. And now that they have their jingle bells on, their movement means I wake up. It's a vicious cycle. Getting adjusted to sleeping with kittens is like getting adjusted to a new lover. It's a helluva change. You're trying to be on your best behavior as to not to disturb the other but in the end neither is relaxed. Or sleeping.

In between 2 and 5 am I think the kittens woke me up about 5 times. Every time they woke up one of them had to come lick my hand or face and start purring and get a little attention. So basically as soon as I fell asleep one of them was waking me up. By 5am I'd had enough and just threw them out and closed the door. And wouldn't you know I woke up before the alarm went off.

Brooklyn is super mush. Like he's a total mama's boy. After he eats and it's nap time he comes over, walks all over my computer and makes himself at home in my lap. He needs hugs and kisses and petting and scratching and he just sprawls out and doesn't move. Dunkin Donuts is not as obvious in her pursuit of lovin' so by the time she'll be ready to settle down in my lap Brooklyn has already taken over. So usually DD sits down next to me. Overall DD is little more independent than Brooklyn is. When they sleep together, DD thinks Brooklyn as her own personal mattress. More times than I can remember (or have had my camera ready) I've seen DD flop herself on top of Brooklyn and go to sleep. Brooklyn usually doesn't mind. They are so cute together.

And let me just tell you...Dunkin Donuts is probably the most beautiful cat in the whole world. Like seriously beautiful. And she has clearly figured out my obsession with fat/fluffy kitten/cat tummy. I mean that girl can use her fluffy tummy like there's no tomorrow. And she has an extra fluffy black and white tummy that just begs to be petted and scratched! And before you know it she's attacking your hands. Will I ever learn? All though she's not seriously trying to harm you, just play with you.

I've also learned the proper attire for living with kittens. Learned it the hard way. My upper thighs look like a frigging mountain climbing site with all the claw marks the monsters have left by trying to climb up my legs. And FUCK but it hurts! So, industrial grade fishing overalls would probably be best just to make sure the claws cannot penetrate the fabric or your skin. Sweatshirts are better than zip ups. Hood is not advisable because it means strings, which means when you bend over, CLAWS IN YOUR FACE! And these monsters are not coordinated enough to adjust their distance so if the end of the string is near your face, look out eyes! And it's not like they tap you nice and easy either. They come claws a blazing and ask questions later. If ever. Also, dangling zipper parts with zipper open is an open invitation for them to climb your thighs. Just an FYI. Learned that too the hard way. And they attack you when you don't pay attention.

I bought new cat litter on Friday and the jury is still out. The cats seem to like it as I feel like they've been to the bathroom more frequently since then but I haven't cleaned the box yet so I don't know how it works yet. But the sales rep recommended this litter and said it doesn't get caught in the paws and should transfer less. So far I think I've seen more litter outside the box than with the previous litter plus it's so fine grained that it gets stuck in their long furs. Especially Dunkin Donuts' tail was full of it. But we'll see. So far no comments or reactions from the weapons of mass destruction.

I also bought different wet food for them. And based on how fast they chowed it down, they liked it. The scary pamphlets said that kittens don't like change and litter and food changes should be done gradually. Well so far they've been ok with everything I've done with them. Just gotta make sure they are well adjusted and are used to all kinds of foods we should be ok.

Oa also bought claw clippers. Neither was especially cooperative so I figured I'll lull them to sleep and attack them then. It was a all day project and I believe DD has whole mani and one paw pedi and Brooklyn has whole pedi and one paw mani! And this is not something I'm willing to let go as I am not ready to be permanently their own personal Himalayan trail! So they are getting their claws clipped and they'll like it! We still have teeth brushing and harness wearing to look forward to! I would actually really love to take them outside for a little walk around the building since it's still not super cold outside but my budget doesn't have room for harnesses just yet. Maybe Santa will bring them...

I am continuing my "Coming out tour of 2011" by being an "alive book" at the living library tomorrow. For those of you who don't know the concept, instead of borrowing books you borrow human beings and talk to them for about 20 minutes. A group of Danish students came up with the idea few years ago to combat prejudice between people. So my book cover says "Lesbian" and I put few words and sentences in it which are often associated with lesbians. People will see my cover and maybe think that hey, I wonder if the lesbians really all are masculine flannel wearing, crew cut sporting man haters...? Maybe I'll go see for myself and educate myself. I believe there should be about 20 of us books and among which we have a police, transgendered woman, unemployed, a lesbian, person with MS, person with eating disorder, former junkie...etc etc. We are not supposed to borrow other books but while in the back area we can talk among ourselves so one person I'm personally hoping to talk to is that transgendered woman. I have never knowingly met any transgendered people nor has anyone ever told me they know someone and to meet one in Forssa in a place like this? I'm hoping to have a chat with her. It would also help with my training in case I ever do go to a school to educate them about LTBT issues. That's tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.

During those 3 weeks that the terrorists have been with me I have taken over 600 pictures! Channelling my inner paparazzi! Too bad my camera isn't better because I've missed some kodak moments but its ok. I still have plenty and will share more of them soon.

Till next time.

Knowledge is power

2011-11-17T18:25:00.001+02:00

I remember like it was yesterday when my history teacher told us that knowledge is power. The more knowledge you have, the more powerful you'll be. In theory anyway.

I've had my little weapons of mass destructions for little over 2 weeks now and we've gotten really friendly now. Their little personalities are developing and they're still wrestling the hell out of each other. The day I picked them up as we were watching the 8 kittens tear the place apart we were discussing those poor little people who only adopted one kitten without having another cat at home to teach the kitten some manners. Well, After watching these 2 go at it for the past 2 weeks, I'm not sure if just one cat would have been so bad! LOL! No...they keep each other company and even though I just pulled a junk of Brooklyn's fur out of Dunkin Donuts' mouth, I wouldn't have it any other way. I may have chosen DD but Brooklyn chose me. And I couldn't be happier.

For the most past my apartment hasn't suffered too much. It seems I did good with the toys I bought them since so far they are the once suffering the most. Other then the once accident DD had in my bed they've done their business in the litter box. I'm actually seriously thinking about teaching them to go to the real bathroom as when I do my business they NEED to be there with me. Never fails. They might be in the middle of their nap inside the couch but as soon as I go to the bathroom they're there as well.

After the first three nights were up and down I had 4 nights of uninterrupted sleep. Then I tried to get them to sleep with me in the bedroom which resulted in them chasing my feet and arms under the covers with all the imagined movements as well. Needless to say I wasn't happy and wasn't about to chance them attacking my face in the middle of the night so out they went. Since then I've tried to have them there every night but we end up in the same place. Them outside and the door firmly closed.

I've tried to teach them where they are allowed. Like kitchen table and my desk are off limits. Still working on those. My computer is fascinating to them, especially the movement of the mouse pointer. That they could chase forever. That spray bottle gives me more power though than knowledge does! I just shake it and they flee! LOL! They are not really chewing electric wires but they like to play with the once belonging to my speaker systems. I just sit on the couch and shake the bottle!

Along with the kittens came a little welcome packages filled with pamphlets, measuring cup, activations toys and food samples. I've been reading those pamphlets and lemme tell you, they are SCARY! With Sox and Bailey being senior citizens by the time I came into their lives and T being the primary parent I was there for the spoiling and companionship. The hard part of raising them was already behind and all their habits, good or bad and all their personalities and quirks were already in place so it's not like I could "mold" them or teach them all that much, if at all. Now with these 2, they are like little play dough's, I can mold them every which way I choose to. And also control their diets. S C A R Y! Of course I don't want them to get sick and of course I want them to live looooooong and happy and healthy lives... but reading those pamphlets makes me just feel inadequate! " The first year of your kittens live is very important and will set the course for the rest of it's life", " Between the months of 3 and 6 kittens grow 15 times faster than human babies...", "It's important to give your kitten the energy it required without over feeding it", grocery store bought kitten food doesn't have as much meat in them as pet store food does"...etc etc. ( BTW, Brooklyn is now trying to write this post for me). So basically, if I don't feed them the most expensive and meatiest food, they will have all kinds of developmental problems or might get obese or won't get all the nutrients they need...eye sight loss...losing fur...weak bones... Why did I wanna be in charge of 2 kittens again??? NEVER READ THOSE PAMPHLETS!!!

As a super poor single mother I'm feeding them whiskas. And I'm reading the feeding instructions and so far it seems that they're working. They get wet food twice a day and dry food is available all the time. I give them wet food and fresh water in the morning and dry and wet food in the evening. And lemme tell ya, they have PLENTY of energy to terrorize the apartment! It's like living in the race tracks when they start chasing each other and wrestling! Hurts me just looking at it how they bite each other. OUCH!

Both of them like the brush. I really enjoyed brushing Sox and Bailey and now with one half long and one long haired cat they need it too. Brooklyn takes it like a man but DD has to wrestle the brush all the way. And she purrs like there's no tomorrow. They are both such an insta-purrs! Just scratch their butts and the purring starts. It's awesome.

They are both also very social and inquisitive. They get up and personal with everybody really quickly. My mom, who is not a cat person had them both in her lap at one point. Such a difference from Sox and B. They were not new-people persons at all. But I miss them. So much. Every once in a while I mistakenly think DD is Sox. Haven't called her that yet but it's the tuxedo. and the socks. DD is just longer haired. She's so fluffy. I love it. And the hair between her toes. Awww. Even though I feel like a 2 year old with my new favorite word being "NO", I would not change this for the world! I love my little terrors and if not anything else, they make me smile!

I put the collars on the kittens today. As you can see from the video from below, Brooklyn was NOT happy! Then he took a long nap and now he's protesting again. Trying to get it off. Not happy that he's jingling like Santa's sleigh! And they're not stealth anymore. I might not be happy during the night when they run around the apartment but we'll see. As far as I'm concerned, the collars are here to stay.

As you can see the agenda on my blog has changed a little...I'm now including kittens!

So much to tell but not enough time. Till next time!

Little terrors

2011-11-03T14:08:00.000+02:00

So after 15 months of catlessness I dediced no more! no mas! Enough already. So about a month ago I started looking at the cat adoption websites and even found a cat that spoke to me. Unfortunately she was already taken by the time I got around asking about her so I went on to another website. I figured there has to be litters of kittens around my neck of the woods and lo and behold, there was. And what a cute little litter it was. I called them, went to see them and lost my heart.

A humane society close by had a mama cat with 8 kittens that were ready to go home on first of November. That was 3 weeks ago. The day when I went to see them, not 1st of November. 5 of the 8 were already reserved so I was looking at the 3 remaining. I was just gonna take one. She was ash grey/black with white paws and chest and tummy. She also had the longest fur of the punch. I love fat cats but if it can't be fat, fluffy is a very good choice too. It was a no brainer. Then I saw him. And I just couldn't not take him too. He's black and white and has a cow print on his fur. Guess I'm not over that yet, huh? I realized the pattern few days before I picked them up. Just could not leave him behind. So instead of one terrorist, I now have 2.

They came home on Tuesday. I took them out of the carrier and put them into the litter box. They hang out there for about 20 minutes before I went to take them out. They scoped out the place, played with their toys a little and went for a nap. Was fairly easy day. No accidents.

Yesterday they found their way under the couch and into the foundation. Under the couch is big enough for them to get under but small enough for me not be able to get them out of there. And then there are crevices there where I can't reach even with the cushions off so now they have a new hiding place where I can't reach. Awesome. They slept the night inside the couch so I was all alone. Poor me.

This morning I had a dentist appointment at 8am. Just before I had to leave Dunkin Donuts decided to pee on my blanket. She did give me a fair warning beforehand by meowing loud and long but stupid new mom me didn't know what that meant yet so I caught her in the act. Threw her in the litter box and washed the blanket. Yippii!

On my way home I went and bought cat repellant. Supposedly keeps cats from unwanted places. Yeah, not so much, at least not yet anyway. I caught the kitties, put them in the kitchen and proceeded to spray it all around the couch and inside the crevices so hopefully they wouldn't go inside the couch again. As soon as I opened the doors, there they were under the couch again. The bottle did say to use it twice a day for a week and the cats would learn not to go there. I want results NOW!

Marianne suggested to buy a spray bottle, fill it with water and spray the kitties when they do something they're not supposed to. So I'm now spraying them when they go to explore my desk or chew electric wires. So far seems to work, or at least they're not happy to been sprayed. They're still little kittens though so I guess I should expect all this. OPut they will learn to obey the master! Oh yes they will! LOL! I'm so whipped. Slaved. And besides, who could say no to these faces?

Brooklyn

Dunkin Donuts with Dunkin Donuts

Nap time

The litter. Nice selections of colors and patterns considering the mama.

Brooklyn and Dunkin D

Dunkin Donuts

5 of their siblings. 6 of the 8 are mid to long hair, only 2 are short. Daddy must have been long haired.

Dunkin D has some serious cattitude!

Oh yes I did! I named my cat Dunkin Donuts! No starbucks though. Might as well have named my cat ulcer then! LOL! This way I won't forget the great coffee and from where to get it from...like I could! And Brooklyn, well Brooklyn was one of the names I was thinking when we talked about having kittens, back in the day, after Sox and B were gone. And I did live in Brooklyn too. I did briefly consider naming Brooklyn "Red Lobster" but decided against it! LOL! Poor cat named after shellfish.

So there you go. The little terrors in cute furry camouflage are home now. And back inside the couch sleeping after wreaking havoc in my apartment for over an hour. Maybe I should nap too. It's been awhile since the last time I saw what 7am looked like!

Fucked up dreams.

2011-10-28T11:16:00.000+03:00

If this is how my muscles feel like after spending an evening with 5 gay boys, how will I feel when I spend it with lesbians???

I discovered yesterday that speaking English and writing it are two totally different things! It's been awhile since the last chance I had to speak it so last night while I was at Tampere Seta's international rainbow group trying to explain myself I hit a few road pumps. Writing is so much easier. Seriously.

Now to my dream from last night. I hope this is not a foreshadowing of any kind...and you'll know why next week. But anyway, back to my dream. It involved Dunkin Donuts. I was somewhere, no idea where and all of a sudden Lea is there, sitting next to me. We talk for awhile about the break up and then it gets quiet. Then the next time I look over Lea has all of sudden turned into Shari. I just lost it so I had to walk away for a while. I walked into the local Dunkin Donuts (obviously we're in somewhere on the east coast of US of A) and ordered my usual (medium iced blueberry, light with cream). When the guy comes back he hands me a cup with no ice and a shot of espresso on the bottom of the cup. I ask him where's the cream and he proceeds to FILL THE CUP with CREAM! Now medium sized iced coffee cup in DD is about 4 or 5 deciliters so this cup had maybe 1dl of coffee and 4dl of cream. No way Jose! I gave it back and asked for my real order. And let's not forget that iced coffee does NOT have a shot of espresso in it, it's straight up coffee so what the fuck he was giving me a espresso shot for is beyond me.

As I'm waiting for the pimply faced teenager to give me my order I become aware of the group of guys behind me. One of them is giving me looks I don't appreciate and I become agitated and little worried. At this point I've waited for my coffee for like 30 minutes and I'm losing my mind. When the guy finally comes to me he has a large iced coffee that's way too dark for my liking. I ask him "Blueberry, right?" And he replies "caramel". I think about this for a second as I really want my coffee but at the same time it's the wrong flavor with the wrong dairy. Large size be damned, this is my first DD since coming to USA and I want it the way I like it! So I tell him, and at this point I'm tongue tied, that I want it the way I ordered it. And what comes out of my mouth is "Strawberry". STRAWBERRY? Seriously?!? Strawberry! I'm not even sure of they have that flavor in real life but I sure as hell do NOT want strawberry, but the pimply faced boy takes off and I'm left to wait once more.

After waiting for my coffee once again for extended amount of time I ask to see the manager. I explain the situation to him and at this point the DD has slowed down significantly so almost all the workers are hanging out around where I'm waiting. Then from the other side of the store comes a girl with my coffee in hand with 2 insurance company workers on her trail with oversized insurance folder and pen and the workers around me start to hum "here comes the insurance people"... The girl hands me my coffee and the insurance people hand me the paperwork to sign so that this incident does not hike up the stores insurance premiums! Crisis averted...or so they seem to think. I woke up before I could taste my coffee so I don't know if it was strawberry flavored, if it was good or what happened next but all I know is that I'm drinking my hazelnut flavored DD coffee at home right now and thoroughly enjoying myself. If I fuck up the coffee there's no one but me to blame!

I don't know where Lea and Shari came from to my dream, but DD is pretty obvious...and yesterday I was gonna go to get an iced coffee at Tampere but was late because of my detour going in and enjoyed the the gay boys so much that I stayed later than I thought too. So no iced coffee for me. Source of frustrating dreams, perhaps?

PMS water

2011-10-21T20:11:00.000+03:00

So I have been thinking about inventions. Getting rich, you know? Coming up with a product that would sell like crazy and I think I figured it out. The only thing is, I'm not smart enough to actually create it. And what is it, you ask?

I had my period this week. TMI, I know. But when it's that time of the month, my kidneys are yelling at me and they work on overtime. I go to the bathroom like once every hour when usually I go maybe 4 times a day. I feel like my kidneys are just pushing out every single drop of liquid I have in my body to the point where there's no more to process. I drink crazy amounts of water and nothing helps...not even the vitamin and mineral waters that are supposed to make your skin look healthier or your nails grow stronger or whatever else the bottles say they'll do. So why is it that with over 3 billion women on this earth ALL suffering from some degree of pain during their period there is no product to help you with that? Which brings us to my inventions...or idea at this point but still...throwing this out to the universe: PMS WATER! Seriously!?! Wouldn't it be awesome if you could drink a bottle of water designed to help with your PMS'ing? That would help with the screaming kidneys, the lower stomach pain/cramps and at the same time help you drink your required amount of water per day?

I just don't know what the ingredients would be, which is why I will never get any financial gain from this awesome product but if any of my readers are smart enough to figure this out, send me a sample! And you're welcome!

When PMS water hits the stands, remember you heard it here first!

Song of the day: Venice Beach by Jenn Foster. Great song and Venice is coming back in a month!

Learn from my mistakes

2011-09-27T23:56:00.000+03:00

Reasons why:

The deodorant doesn't work? It's finished
Digibox doesn't turn on? You're pressing the mute button!

Cat(s)

2011-09-19T16:03:00.000+03:00

I don't have a cat.
I know I don't have a cat.
Then why do I see one in the mirror?

Few nights ago as I was sitting on my couch all of a sudden I hear a crash coming from the direction of my bedroom/hallway/closet/bathroom. I went to see what was happening and realized that 3 of the 6 squares of mirror in the hallway had come crashing down. The double sided tape holding them on the wall had lost all the glue and the top one just brought the 2 others down with it. I put one of them back up since the tape was still holding but the 2 others I just put on the floor against the wall. Ever since then, when I've gone to the kitchen I see movement in the mirror and for some reason always think it's a cat. Even though I don't have one! And every time it startles me. I think this is one more sign that I really should get a cat. The fever certainly is there. Or maybe I'm just going crazy?

I started a cat fund few weeks ago. So the process of saving money for a cat is alive but not so well. I mean it takes just a little more money than 31 euros... I have also narrowed the possible names to 3. or maybe 4. We'll see.

California

2011-09-14T02:30:00.000+03:00

I hear it calling.

I feel the pull.

I don't know why because there's nothing there for me.

But I feel like that's where I should be.

The restlessness is settling on me, the same restlessness that I was feeling before I moved to NJ.

I know this feeling.

Time to move on, move away, move.

Weird.

9/11/01

2011-09-11T19:41:00.001+03:00

You can't help but get goose bumps on this day whenever you hear stories about that day. Doesn't matter whether you are happy or sad, this day always makes you stop and think about how precious life is.

When I was in my room watching it unfold on my TV till the early hours in the morning, I didn't know I would be so thankful later on that someone made it out of there alive. This day will forever remind me of T.

9/11/2001. Never Forget.

Old age

2011-09-07T21:37:00.000+03:00

Does not come alone. I'm thinking I'm not a fan of my 30's AT. ALL. With it comes all the aches and pains that a body can sustain. I have only been 31 for 4 days but so far I have pulled my neck muscles when stretching yesterday morning which means that I can't turn my head well or lift anything heavy without a lot of pain, and pulling my groin this morning. The neck pain is also radiating to my lower back. Good times if there ever were any!

My brother found an apartment. He moved this past weekend, so now there's only my step dad living in the yellow house. This time last year the 4 of us were all cramped up under one roof. Now we are all in different addresses. Welcome home Jenni! Welcome home! It was the one thing that I thought would always be there. Now when I move away from Forssa there really is no reason for me to come back to this town. In a way I feel homeless.

Anyhoo...

Birthday wishes

2011-09-03T00:11:00.000+03:00

For the 1st time since 2005 I am spending my birthday as a single woman. So, to celebrate...

You and me both Keith...You and me both!

And a job.

And world peace.

Universe, are you listening???

Reflections

2011-09-02T14:57:00.000+03:00

Well, we are headed to the last hours of my 31st year on this earth. I think it's time to reflect on the last year and maybe how to move forward. It has definitely NOT been the best year of my life, but at the same time it has taught me a lot about myself, life, love, relationships...

A year ago I was celebrating my birthday week. T was here and we were going on a cruise to Sweden. I wanted to show her what all was possible to do, not only in Finland but in Scandinavia and in Europe. How there were possibilities after possibilities within reach and how we could go see all the countries we wanted to, just few short hours away. Boy did I fail! LOL! That was the beginning of the end.

At the end of September she wrote on her blog saying she couldn't move to Finland. Moving outside USA was not an option for her. I was devastated and she asked my opinion on her blog post. What do you say to a post that basically crashes all of your dreams of ever being together? I could not find a job from USA and she was not willing to move to be with me. Tick tock...

Then she asked for time and space. Sure, take all the time you need...how much more space can I give you when we had the Atlantic Ocean between us? She had started to appreciate her own time, her own space without having to share it with anyone. 3..2...1...

Our 4 and half years together came and went and she told me I shouldn't expect to hear from her. She was visiting a friend and was 10 time zones away. Out of reach, at least from me. I was always the one who remembered anniversaries, no matter how small or insignificant to others. This was my first love, my first relationship, and every day together was a gift. For me, 4 and half years together was a big deal. I had a lump in my throat all the time. It was just a matter of time...and Boom!

Phone call at 5:30am. I can't do this anymore. That was it. Nothing I could do or say to change it. It was done.

I think I cried for the next 2 months. Non stop. Any and every little thing would just start the waterworks. My iPod was constant loop of love songs, songs that had any meaning in our relationship. Everything was against me. Every little thing reminded me of her. Everything always came back to her. I couldn't escape so I cried. It's a miracle I didn't suffer from dehydration, the amount I cried could have filled an ocean.

The folks were bickering and fighting a lot and in my state I couldn't take it anymore. I started thinking about my own apartment. I had to get away, I had to get my own place and get some privacy and peace. I had to be able to grieve in peace.

I moved to my own place in December. I just sat and grieved and cried and willed the hurt to go away. I didn't celebrate x-mas...nothing to celebrate. She was supposed to come to Finland to celebrate x-mas. Obviously that was not happening. What was there to celebrate?

2011 came. I had some job interviews in Forssa. Nothing took though. I was offered a short project type job in Hämeenlinna, which I took. I had started to think about my future and realized I needed to find my community in Finland. I had no need for one when I came out because I had T and she consumed all my time, but once she was not in my life anymore, I had to start somewhere. I was so angry and felt betrayed by her and by US government and their discriminating marriage and immigration laws that I had to find a way to get into the LGBT community and advocate for my rights.

I found out that SETA was training people to advocate for gay rights in Finland, for people going to schools and camps etc to talk about LGBT issues and rights. As scared as I am of public speaking I figured this was a great place to start. I'd meet other gays and lesbians, maybe make few friends and find purpose. And I did. It was probably the best decision I've done for myself, something that I've done JUST for myself in a really long time. I found Minna that way, and by proxy Heidi and Ella as well.

I was able to go get some of my stuff from NY in May. I still have some stuff there, how much I'm not sure. I'm not even sure where they are or if reality I have anything there. I have not been told if my stuff is somewhere safe or if it was tossed in the trash but I got the most important things I wanted. And in the end, it's just stuff. Stuff can be replaced. Memories I will still always have.

In June I had this urge to move on. To put myself out there, to experience, to make new friends, to live a little. I contacted my new friends from SETA and asked them if I could tag along or join them at Helsinki Pride...party with them at the women's party. Everybody was so gracious, so friendly and so accepting. YES, of course you can join us. So I did. And I marched in my first Pride Parade. I participated in my first Pride Picnic. And I made new friends. And I felt like I belonged.

Few weeks after that I went to Tampere Pride. More fun. More marching. And seeing Susanna after all these years. Making mends. Renewing friendships.

After this year I've learned so much. I've experienced the lowest of lows and some highs. I've learned things about myself I'm not proud of, things I wish I could change and things I hope I will change in the future. I have some regrets, biggest of all obviously T and our failed relationship. It's a long road to recovery but time will heal. It cannot be hurried, it will happen when it's ready. All I can do is to hope I've learned something and when I'm lucky enough to experience love again, I won't make those mistakes again. Now it's time to put the gear in motion, make the changes I want to happen. And believe you me, I know what I want. How I will achieve it...You'll see. Expect a great 32nd year with 2012 coming with a BANG! You have not heard the last from me. The 31 year old Jenni will be stronger than the 30 year old me.

So...good bye 31st year...Welcome future! And to honor the future and to put the past behind... "No more sad songs" by Kyler England.

Aging

2011-08-29T16:16:00.000+03:00

It's happening. Can't help it. On Saturday I'll be once again a year older. Well, 5 days older than what I'm now. Thirty One. 31. Three and one. I'm not sure how I feel about my age starting with a three yet so... I don't know...I don't feel like I'm (going to be) 31. Don't feel like I'm in my thirties. Don't feel grown up. 30 Was not my year. No sir-rey. Nope. I said 2011 will be my year. So far not so much. But we have few months left. But I've come up with a long term plan. It might just be totally crazy and it might not ever materialize, but I am going to work towards it. Human rights. Civil rights. What I wanted when I was in my teens. It's taken me over a decade to come a full circle and really see what it is that I want to do with my life, to come back to this place. To see. But I do see. I do want. I need. To make a difference. I might hurt some people. I might offend some people. I might get hurt myself. But I need to do this.

Purpose.

Am I crazy?

2011-08-29T03:35:00.000+03:00

I really like Justin Bieber's song "Baby". Of course I'm listening to the Glee version as I do NOT have any Biebs on iTunes but that song has been growing on me slowly but surely. I must be delirious!

Must be, since it's 3:30 in the morning.

Things you learn/notice on a evening stroll

2011-08-23T22:23:00.000+03:00

I got on a scale few days ago and got the proof first hand that my life preserver in my mid section has in deed gotten bigger. I've only gained +/- 2kg as weight and my pants still fit fine but I'm getting softer, if you know what I mean. Maybe as a result of that I've taken on a new hobby; evening stroll. It also is a useful tool to run some errands. Anyway...I'm now at a weight where I can actually donate blood so it's not like I'm heavy or anything...

So, yesterday I went to take a walk. I was so pissed off that I just had to go outside and take it out on something, so what better than to put on some great motivating music and go pound the pavement. On my walk I had to pass this older couple, maybe in their late 60's or early 70's who were holding hands. It was so cute! I was like "I want that when I'm old" (sooner wouldn't hurt either), to still be in love with someone when your old and grey and smelly enough to want to show that to the world.

Then today I found and ally in the city center that I've never seen before in my life! And mind you, I've lived in this city 24 years of my life so you'd think I'd seen it before. And what's more bizarre, it's about 100 meters from my apartment. Next to the kindergarden I went to when I was a kid. Crazy! And as I came home from said evening stroll, my Facebook newsfeed was full of EARTHQUAKE! Apparently there was an earthquake on the east coast of US of A and everybody is talking about it. Brent Celek, the Tight End for Philadelphia Eagles said on twitter that he dropped a dumbbell...he apologized for it though. But damn, it was felt all the way from DC to NY. That's a lot of land to cover. Mother Earth is pissed!

Speaking of Facebook...it has this new annoying feature that announces your status update from a year ago if you made one. A year ago I was looking forward to my birthday and the ex to arrive to celebrate it with me so I had a countdown. So every day now when I go on to Facebook on the upper right hand side corner I see a number flashing. Annoying, to say the least!

I woke up this morning from a dream that was a little disturbing. In my dream I was in my bed when the front door opened and the landlord came in announcing that the TV license inspector was on his way and I should be prepared. When he leaves, I get out of bed, go to my living room to remove the TV that I don't own, and hide it in the walk-in closet. I get that done but before I'm able to move the digibox or playstation or even dust the TV table, the front door opens again and my landlord and the inspector walk in. I'm trying to explain that I don't own a TV and that the PS and digibox are not really mine but it doesn't fly. And as I really don't have ~500 euros for TV license fees and the interest that not paying it have incurred, I'm in deep shit. But then the Inspector says "How about you pay for 2 weeks and then cancel?" Like he sees this every day and knows how little money people have and just can't come up with the money for it. And I'm like Awww, that's so nice.

Till next time!

Let's play "Career Counselor"

2011-08-22T19:10:00.002+03:00

EVERYBODY who reads this post NEEDS to participate. It's mandatory!

So I've obviously invested a lot of time and money on my environmental education (Bachelor of Science in Environmental Engineering and Master of Arts in Environmental Management) without much success in finding a job in the field. So far I have been rejected by both USA and Finland so maybe it's time to look outside the box. Am I not suitable for the environmental field? Am I suitable for office work? And if not, what would it be? I'm pretty sure my gigantic height and bad back rule out heavy manual labor. So if the environmental field and manual labor is out of the picture, what could/should I do?

Now if I could do whatever I wanted all day long and money was not an issue, here's 3 things I'd LOVE to be included in my job description:

reading fan fic

cats

advocating for gay rights

So...what's my job title?

I'm pretty sure I have a future as a cat lady and if you combine my passion for cats and gays (well mostly lesbians), that would mean that I should be working with gay cats? Am I right?

Anyways...suggestions in comments, please!

Dear Diary,

2011-08-20T19:34:00.000+03:00

Finally after weeks of staring at my diaries, I put them away 2 days ago. The bag also contained a lot of correspondence between me and my besties at the time. School was always easy enough for me and the teachers clueless enough so that we were constantly passing on notes to each other. Me and my bff at the time even had a little note book that we wrote in. I didn't thoroughly go through any of them but just enough to jog my memory. Good time were had by oh so many...

I had 5 diaries that span the time from May 21st, 1994 to December 29th 1996 which means from end of 7th grade to end of first semester of freshman year in high school. I briefly looked at them, but here are some things that stood out.

I was a sports NUT.
You think I'm sports nut now but no, this was an obsession. Basically any sport you threw my way, I knew anything and everything about it, players, stats, champions... which is why had my 15-year-old-self been sitting next to that ice hockey player from HIFK on my home from USA this spring, she would have known his name, number, DOB, marital status, stats from every pro year, original team, has he played for Finnish national team on any level and who his line mates are and their info as well. But this 2011 version of me is not that crazy anymore. Other things occupy my mind these days. And one team that had my full attention was one of the local women's basketball teams...

Careful what you wish for.
My step sister had started to act out. She was not easy to get along with and she was stealing, lying and smoking her way through middle school. Do not hope for your best friend to become your sister. Do. Not.

Transference.
My bff had an older boyfriend. That's ALL she talked about. I felt like I was left behind. I was jealous. Ring any bells? So I went and got a crush on this older boy as well. Just because I could. Totally unrequited and totally make belief but I didn't wanna be different and I didn't wanna be outsider so that's what I did. To this day though I do remember him fondly but everything else in my diaries are making it very clear that this was just because I couldn't get the person I wanted.

First crush.
Oh my...to this day seeing her will make my heart skip a beat. She was older than me and even if she was a lesbian it would NEVER have worked out but for many years I was totally crushing on her. She was beautiful, blonde and great at what she did and every week like a love sick puppy I went to watch her play. I didn't realize it at the time, or maybe I did, but she was mentioned a LOT in my diaries. And I believe since I couldn't have her I transferred those feelings to the guy because it was just as impossible of a situation.

Jealousy.
There is a definite proof in my diaries that my jealousy was an issue in middle school. My bff gets a boyfriend, I get left behind and I get jealous. Start passive aggressively act out. Story of my life, it seems.

Self awareness.
I was aware of my actions to a certain degree and I was aware of my feelings as well, and knew what I was doing but the reason behind my behavior and my feelings, me liking girls, had not entered my orbit yet.

Denial.

Denial.

One of these days I will sit down and read them through but today is not that day. When I do, I will share some entries of I feel like they might be of any interest.

Song of the day

2011-08-15T13:43:00.000+03:00

It seems that me dying was maybe declared just a little bit too soon. So unfortunately for the world, I'm still here. Still breathing. And very much alive. The emergency root canal performed yesterday might have just saved my life as I'm only in minor pain anymore. But still medicated. No hospice care needed just yet.

I made a kick ass vegetarian lasagna yesterday, because really, what else are you gonna do in your death bed than cook something delish? And I ate maybe 1/3rd of it yesterday. And lemme tell ya, who ever invented cheese is my new god. Or my only god. I'm not replacing any gods because I don't belief in them but really, that person was at least a genius, even if it was an accident. And since this seems to be a food blog anyway, talking about cheeses and my lasagna seems appropriate anyway.

And speaking of...how come I can go days and days without really eating a hot meal, even weeks maybe, and then all of a sudden when I'm dying and cannot chew to save my life, I'm hungry like I haven't seen food in months and just CRAVE something hot? When it's been super hot I haven't bothered cooking because when the inside of your apartment is 30 degrees C and outside even hotter, the last thing you want to do is put the oven or or even the hot plates to cook something hot but as soon as the temps plummet, all you wanna do is have a hot meal. Weird.

Anyway...song of the day, Demons by Bryan McFadden. Came on in my shuffle through this morning.

One of these days I'll tell you about Cher...

Excitement for Sunday morning

2011-08-14T11:38:00.000+03:00

If you are bored with your regular Sunday mornings, sleeping late, lazy breakfast, reading the Sunday paper and are looking for something new and exciting to try, here is my suggestion: Root canal without local anesthesia and/or pain killers! It is definitely out of the ordinary and it gets your heart pumping!

I went back to the hospital this morning because the tooth wasn't getting any better, in fact it was worse. I've never really been much of a follower when it comes to pain killer recommendations as far as amount is concerned but I gotta say after consuming 4000mg of burana (10x400mg) in 24 hours without long term pain reducing effects when the recommended amount is 1200mg I thought I didn't wanna end up having my stomach pumped or in the poison ward of a hospital if I kept it up for a week till my appointment to see the "real" dentist is...so I went back. And they decided to do an emergency root canal. No pain killers, no local anesthesia...let's just go in there and drill the SOB. It had also been few hours since my last self-medication so that was wearing off as well. It was just good times all around. I think this was my time crying at the dentist. As I said...I recommend!

Then I was given a cocktail of pain meds. The assistant told me that sometimes 2 affecting agents work better together and that I should go get both of them. She didn't say how many times a day I should do it so this should be fun if the pain doesn't go away soon. Now I'm waiting for the pharmacy to open. Oh yeah...I might have to go back if the pain doesn't go away and the tooth doesn't settle in few days. It's gonna be a fun week!

I'm dying

2011-08-13T19:05:00.000+03:00

I'm dying

I think I'm dying

I might be dying...

I thought dentists were my friends. Like really, I thought that. I've been going to see dentists regularly since first grade when I had 7(?) cavities. Since then I've seen them regularly every year throughout elementary, middle and high school until it wasn't free anymore. After that I went when it was absolutely necessary. And that usually meant multiple appointments as well. So obviously I've never been afraid of them.

I was once told that I only have like 6-8 teeth that have had cavities but those are the once that just keep getting them over and over again. When I was 17(?) and we had the last year of free dental care and they did the spit tests and everything I was also told that my spit is creating an environment in my mouth which increases the chances of developing cavities. So no matter how much I brush, floss or use mouthwash, I will get them. They also told me that I still should do all those things to try to prevent them from appearing. TMI, I know. Sorry. (I know you ya'll really really wanna kiss me right now...)

I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. My foot few years back was the first time I've ever experienced excruciating pain and no matter what they did or what kind of pain killers I was given, it hurt like mother fucker! Right now though...I wish I still had my phantom pain medication with me. It wasn't really helping with what it was supposed to help with but it made me sleepy. I have a feeling tonight I won't be sleeping much.

So what's the matter? The furthest tooth on lower left side of my mouth is sensitive to touch to the point where any contact is hurting. It's not a cavity pain, it's not sensitive to hot or cold. It does react to them but it's not the shooting pain you get with a cavity. It's a constant pain that radiated throughout my left jaw and the point where your lymph notes are is really hurting. Sensitive to touch as well. But they're not swollen. The left side just hurts. It's kind of like wisdom tooth pain when they are coming out except I don't have wisdom teeth on my lower jaw. I went to see the on call dentist today at the hospital and they x-rayed me and filled the cavity that was there but it DID NOT help. I'm in even more pain. If this is as bad as it is tomorrow, I'm going back tomorrow. And the kicker is... the pain killer I have, Burana 400, you're only supposed to take 1/2 -1 tablets 3 times a day...I've already taken double that and the pain is ok for maybe 5h at a time. So majorly overdosing here. If I go into organ failure you all know what the cause was.

Oh, btw...I have already diagnosed myself and I didn't even go to webMD or any other website: I have a brain tumor that's pressing against the nerves on my jaw and tooth. Although, can it be a brain tumor if it's in my jaw? Head tumor? Jaw tumor? Neck tumor? Anyhoo, that's probably what it is. So when I start the radiation I'll have a legitimate reason to shave my head.

Hope ya'll are having a better weekend than me!

Gourmet sandwiches and toothaches

2011-08-12T21:11:00.000+03:00

Today's NOT the day for full post but I have things on my mind so...let's get to it:

I discovered a new and amazing grilled cheese sandwich option yesterday...or was it a day before? I ran out of ham so I was looking at my fridge and thought to myself "What could I use instead?" and it came to me: Mushrooms! So I made one with basil (gotta have my new favorite), oltermanni cheese (YUMMY) and sauteed mushrooms. I am a culinary genius, I gotta admit.

When you have a toothache from hell though, eating that sandwich is not the easiest thing to do. In fact, chewing of any kind is kinda hard. And hurts! Looks like I'm gonna be high on painkillers tonight. This came out of nowhere so I am trying to wait it out but I might have to go see on-call dentists this weekend if this doesn't subside. The painkillers are helping with the throbbing pain but touching the tooth hurts...touching that side of my mouth hurts...biting down hurts. Good times.

You know when you go request a song from the DJ and she nods and says "old skool r&b"...kinda makes you feel old! At Tampere Pride I went to request either Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty" or Mis-Teeq's "Scandalous" and that was the reception I got. Mis-teeq was hot either when I was in my late teens or early 20's so it's not THAT long ago...and Dirrty was our go-to song in the summer of 2003 when me and Laura spent the summer in Swansea "practical training"...aka partying hard! 8 years is not enough for "old skool"...

Not sure how many days I've been doing my shuffle through now but I have 1900+ songs down...about 1600 to go!

And the song of the day: Shakira "Illegal"

Music and food

2011-08-11T01:53:00.000+03:00

Those 2 things seem to be the only things going on in my life right now. Whenever I'm thinking about blogging, it's either about music or food. But right now it's 1:30am so I won't write much...except:

I'm in the middle of a shuffling through my iPod. I'm now through 1500 songs and still about 2000 to go. I have little over 4100 songs in my iTunes but I haven't updated my iPod yet because I want to listen to every single one of them on my iPod so that I don't have to start from the beginning.

There are 2 albums I'm listening right now that I don't think have single song in them that I would skip over. Adele's "21" and Jenni Vartiainen's "Seili". If you are in Finland you should absolutely buy that CD. And if you are anywhere in the world, you HAVE TO buy Adele's CD. I also listen to Colbie Caillat and Taylor Swift but Colbie's latest CD is not on my iPod yet so it's not playing in my 3500 shuffle through right now.

I am too lazy to go over to my diet post and look what all I said in there but I have some updates to my list. If you can't get smoked salmon or don't like it (or don't like it on rye bread), you can always add either feta cheese or BASIL. Or both. I have seriously fallen in love with basil. I have added it to basically every food I've eaten in the last 5 days and it makes my fridge smell great plus it seriously is to die for! If someone could invent basil smelling perfume...I'd probably fall for that person. I'm crazy, I know...and have issues. But seriously...if you haven't tried those combinations, you should. And if you noticed I used the term "feta" instead of "Mediterranean styled cheese" or other bull crap we're supposed to use. Greece owes us a lot of money so I'm just gonna go right ahead and call that cheese feta. It's my prerogative to use that word as a bailor so that's what I'm gonna do.

Speaking of food...I have made some interesting milkshake try outs. I love mango-melon flavored ice cream so I figures I'll buy cantaloupe melon and mango and try to make a milkshake out of them. It was good but not the best. Maybe I should try with flavored ice cream instead of vanilla? Except that they don't sell mango-melon at the stores. Only ice cream stands. boo. I've also made banana blueberry, which was good and one from nectarine flavored baby food! Now that was good! I have wanted to try to make mine from fresh fruits just because supposedly it would be healthier but have found out that it's a lot of trouble. My usual is just banana. I love banana. And of course strawberry. But I haven't bought strawberries so I'm using what I have. I also bought canned pineapple and peaches so those are next on my list. That blender though...it's not on a vacation, I tell you that much!

Maybe time for bed...maybe.

Night night!

Guess I was lying

2011-08-09T23:12:00.000+03:00

One of these days I'll post something more substantial, like pictures from Tampere Pride or about Holjat this weekend but right now I'm gonna do what I did last time and share the song of the day. I'm into 1300+ songs of ~3500 and this came on:

I don't know why but this always puts a smile on my face. You can't stay grumpy or mad or sad when you hear this song.

Aretha Franklin & George Michael: I knew you were waiting for me

Song of the day

2011-08-07T23:19:00.000+03:00

I promise to actually do some blogging next week instead of 1 or 2 liners or just video's but this just came on on my quest to shuffle through all 3500+ songs on my iPod and it spoke to me and so I wanted to share.

Matchbox Twenty "Leave"

You

2011-08-06T00:42:00.000+03:00

You know you ruined everything, right?

Celebrity

2011-08-04T00:15:00.001+03:00

I'm sure by now everybody knows how I feel about celebs without merits. "Turhajulkkis" as we call them in Finland. Celebs like reality show cast members who say stupid things, shop all day, drink all night and really do NOTHING to better this world. As a music lover, sports nut and TV/movie lover I understand to a degree actors and musicians being celebs. If you can act or sing or write songs, you are bettering this world. If you stand in front of camera and think you're better than others because your mom or dad or other family member is famous for actually being great at something and you're there for the ride... not so much!

With that being said....I LOVED LOVED LOVED the real housewives of New Jersey. It was the only housewives franchise we watched because we were in New Jersey at the time it started and they were filming not too far away from where we lived. Actually kinda close to T's bff's neighborhood. So you know, we might have actually seen places we've been to etc. And lets face it...those women and their cat fights were crazy entertaining. And we saw Danielle Staub at the Pride Parade in 2008 and I took pictures. She was and is great LGBT supporter and even toyed with bi-sexuality during the second season. So when I saw this article just now and saw the description of Sheila, all I could do is ROTFLMAO! Priceless! Especially the part about singing... And here's a sample of her singing.

Hope you enjoyed it!

(Insert evil laugh here)

2011-08-03T00:58:00.000+03:00

Intercontinental break ups suck!

Intercontinental trash talk is FUN!

American Football season is upon us and Philadelphia Eagles are making themselves known as a serious contender this season. Most of my friends and former family members are Giants fans... with few Chiefs, Cowboys, Jets etc thrown in the mix for good measure. What's better than trash talking with them when their teams have done nothing in this pre-season? NOTHING!

Internet

2011-08-02T22:52:00.001+03:00

Internet is the beginning and end of all things evil. It takes up all your time. It consumes your life. It entices you. It lures you. It seduces you.

EVIL, I tell you!

Oh no!

2011-08-01T22:24:00.000+03:00

2/3's of my tattoo gets bad publicity (Or maybe just 1/3 since the heart wasn't mentioned)

Saw this on facebook just now. I think it's pretty clear how I feel about organized religion (beginning of all evil in this universe) but it's not my place to tell people what to do. So just like with any straight people announcing their support for gay rights and gay marriage is always appreciated, so is any people who claim to be religious but are still open minded enough to see that LOVE IS LOVE, or as Miley said ALL LOVE IS EQUAL. I think it's great when an 18-year old with almost 2 million Twitter followers openly supports our right to marry. I don't think she should get her head bit off for it. And by non other than her fellow christians... judge much?

Well isn't this curious

2011-07-31T21:04:00.000+03:00

I was just reading an article on Advocate.com about Miley Cyrus' new tattoo. She had posted a picture on Twitter with a title "all love is equal". Here's a link to her tweet. She took the equality sign on her ring finger... It's all great and dandy but then I saw the tattoo on her pinky. Now I'm not sure when she took the heart there but all she needs now is a 3rd sign and we are tattoo twins!

Seriously...curious!

Dear Diary

2011-07-30T23:27:00.002+03:00

I am staring at my diaries from my teenage years and I'm terrified.
I both want to read them and don't...
I'm afraid to read what I was feeling back then...
I'm afraid I'll flinch at what I've written...
I'm afraid of the blatantly obvious fact that I am SO GAY...
I'm afraid of the blatantly obvious fact that I was so IN DENIAL...

I'm terrified.

In some ways I get very bad moral hangovers. I do not forgive myself easily when it comes to doing stupid things. When I mess up. And unfortunately I do have regrets. I wouldn't be in this bad shape if I didn't have regrets. Right now there are things that I am trying to overcome, trying to figure out and in order to do that I need to read those diaries.

Scary.

Terrified!

P.S. Today would have been my dad's 61st birthday if he was still alive.

Football...the american kind

2011-07-30T01:49:00.000+03:00

Let's just quickly talk about the fact that Nnamdi Asomugha is now an EAGLE!!!! Biggest free agent catch of this year? You betcha! Great great player? Absolutely? Great partner for Asante Samuel? YesSirreeee! I predict at least 7 interceptions for Eli Manning against Philly in the regular season...

I'm sad about the rumor(?) I read on Twitter about Steward Bradley being traded to Arizona though....he was my favorite on D. Boo!

Can't wait for both the real season and fantasy football as well! Let's go Gayliens!

Sox and Bailey

2011-07-27T23:56:00.001+03:00

Hi, My name is Jenni and I'm a cat-a-holic! I fell in love with Sox and Bailey the minute I met them and had some great times with them. I miss them every day and I wish I could be in their lives. Intercontinental break ups just plain suck! Today is the 1 year anniversary of my arrival back to Finland. Time sure does fly when you are having...(enter whatever word you wish here).

It's been 366 days since the last time I saw my step cats and even though I can't see them or meow to them or tell them how much I love and miss them, I can put it out there to the universe. Maybe they'll get the signal. So this post will be for them. I hope they are doing well, are not having any health problems and when it is their time, they'll go peacefully in their sleep without any prolonged complications.

Sox pleasuring, I mean cleaning herself.

When Donovan (the dog) was visiting, Sox and B wouldn't come further down. Sibling rivalry.

Bailey had the cutest face of any cat EVER. She looked like a kitten dressed up in a grown-up cat's fur.

Just look at that belly and tell me you don't wanna put your face in there and blow like what you do with babies? No? Just me then. I never did because I would be eyeless and maybe even headless...it was a rare occasion you got to touch B's stomach but when you did...it was furry kitty cat heaven on earth! Did I mention I have fat cat's belly-obsession?

When the other mommy wasn't home and Sox was in need of a cuddle, she would occasionally sit in my lap too. On those rare occasions I just had to take a picture because no one would believe me otherwise. Sox was momma's girl, through and through. She wasn't happy about all the pictures I took, which is evident in this pictures. Can we get this over with so I can get back to my nap?

Classic Sox. She loves to nap with her tongue out. This is another one of those get that camera and flash outta my face -moments!

Bailey was abused as a kitten and had trust issues. She wanted to be loved and wanted to be touched but she couldn't trust people (me and T) for more than few seconds at a time. This is one of those moments where she wants to be loved and is showing her cute cards. In those moments, do you capture that in a picture or scratch her stomach?

Sox always thought she was a human. She loved taking a nap under the covers and her head on a pillow.

Fat cats chillaxing.

Poor Sox had to have her tooth removed and so they put her under. This is what she looked like when we brought her back home from kitty cat dentist. She looks like a homeless person... err, kitty cat.

Same night, she's hungry. She's high, can you tell. Poor junkie.

Another cute moment from Bailey.

Sox was a David Beckham fan too. She was trying on my jersey. If I hadn't been told no, I would have tried to dress her up in it. Just for a minute, please???

I miss you and love you my furry girls.

Meow!

Promises, Promises...broken

2011-07-26T11:44:00.000+03:00

I don't remember much about July 26th of last year. But this is what I do remember. It's ALL I remember.

Get a job

Find a place

I'll follow you.

Taylor Swift & Colbie Caillat; Breathe

Affair to remember

2011-07-25T16:12:00.000+03:00

I'm having an affair.
I'm cheating on my reality.
I've seen her twice.
I can't wait to spend more time with her.
But it's over.
Next year?
Next summer?
PRIDE.

There really are no words for the calm, excited feeling washing over me at Pride's. Going to Helsinki Pride was amazing and even though Tampere Pride was a smaller event in scale, there is nothing better than new friends and old friends and being able to just be yourself and not having to apologize for who you are. Just. be. yourself.

Saturday was amazing. I got to march on a float, have a picnic with great new friends, have drinks with and old but oh so dear friend, listen to Taylor Swift covers played acoustically...and just. be. me. What more can a girl ask for?

At the picnic we participated in a final thesis survey and as a result could participate in a raffle that gave out tickets to Gareth Gates' gig. I won, Ella won and Heidi got 2 chances to get it right. Since Minna was not there with us, she actually had to work, I went to the girl who gave out the tix and asked her if I could possibly get an extra one for our friend. She gave one to me. See, ask and you shall receive!

After the picnic I went to Saara's place to take a shower and change. Once again it was a hot and humid day. I had to get ready to have drinks with Susanna. It was so great to see her after all these years. We kind of picked up right where we left off. And we had a lot of catching up to do. I came out to her via text 5 years ago and we hadn't seen each other since so I wasn't exactly sure how she took it and how she'd handle it. But we had an interesting conversation about it.

She was like I knew way before you were a lesbian.
I was like You did? How?
She's like Remember when you asked me what me and Markus were to each other, if we were dating?
I'm like No...
She's like Well, you had me call him and ask him if we were dating right then and there.
I'm like I did? I don't remember...
She's like yeah, and after that you told me you don't know who you are...I knew then.
I'm like You did? Why didn't you say anything to me?
She's like I couldn't tell you. It wasn't my place.
I'm like But you could have! You could have saved me from so many mistakes...you could have saved me from sleeping with men!!!
And she's like I couldn't. And I also knew from how jealous you were of me.
I'm like Yeah, I was...I was so jealous of you...But I didn't have a crush on you...I don't have a feeling that I let anything slip by me, that there's anyone that I should have been with but didn't understand what I was feeling...But had I've been more aware of who and what I was, I could have been different. Sorry.

So my best friend knew 12 years ago...My mom said she asked me once, before I came out, if I was a lesbian and I denied it. And I guess in all honesty, if people would have told me I was a lesbian before I was ready, I probably would have disowned them. I wasn't ready to face it and I certainly wasn't ready to have people tell me or question me. And I would not be the ME I am today had things gone differently earlier so I guess I should thank Susanna for NOT saying anything to me. And I had the internal homophobe in me which would have denied it all and probably made even bigger mistakes in order to proof people wrong so...

We spent amazing 3 hours reminiscing about all the wonderful things we did in the past and promised to stay in touch. I think I got my friend back. (Insert huge grin here). The girls had changed the plans and instead of going to see Gareth Gates they just wanted to stay at YO-talo and see Stina Girs instead. I didn't know anything about her but I gotta say...thanks you girls for making this decision! She was playing Taylor Swift covers acoustically and I was in heaven. For the past few weeks all I've listened to is Taylor Swift and Colbie Caillat and as country is not really big in Finland, especially the pop country that T.S. plays, You don't have many chances to hear it. When Stina's CD comes out I might actually have to get it!

We left around 1:30-2am, I went to get some food and headed to bed. Eetu, Saara's cat was all kinds of wild throughout the night but he was so cute that you just can't be mad at him for more than a second. Having him pull out all his cute cards, one of witch is playing fetch, did nothing to squash my acute need/desire/want to get a cat.

Now I'm all kinds of shade of red as I might have forgot to put any sunscreen on...actually don't own any...and I burnt my shoulders and neck and my nose is red...maybe in few days I'll be 4 shades of darker-than-my-usual-white. Which will still be whiter than most people.

So...that was my perfect Saturday. Pictures to follow after Heidi sends me some of me and once I have time to upload mine to my computer.

Have a great week everyone!

New York, New York

2011-07-24T23:12:00.002+03:00

Today's the first day that gay and lesbian New Yorkers can get married. I am so happy for everyone who can now realize their dreams and show to the world that their love and commitment to each other is worth celebrating for and enjoy their special day(s).

Isn't love grand?

Here's a song to celebrate all the marriages happening in NY right now from one of my new favorites, Colbie Caillat and "I do"

Let's go with random

2011-07-21T18:04:00.001+03:00

So much to say, so little time. So I'm just gonna talk about everything today.

How'bout we start with the weather? The disgustingly humid and hot weather we have here? I can talk about my hatred for humidity and I can talk about my albino skin and cold blood not being ok with this heat and humidity. I cannot stand humidity. It is the absolutely least favorite thing of mine. I will take the -20 degree Celsius temperatures with the whole-lotta-snow we had last winter over this. I'm not kidding. Summers in Finland are supposed to be MILD! But I can stand this for today and tomorrow if it means nice weather for Saturday in Tampere for the Pride Parade.

Speaking off...It's gonna be great again! I talked with Heidi yesterday and we have a plan. I'm seeing Susanna in between which is gonna be great and I have a car to take me there. What else could a girl ask for?

Me thinks that our fair-skinned red-headed president is secretly a lesbian! Scandalous, I know. But who else but a lesbian would start a website for her recently deceased cat? I mean seriously, think about it. Take a moment to think about. Then take a moment to think about how many times I have mentioned missing Sox and Bailey and wanting a cat. And then go on and google "lesbians" and see what comes up. If the first website doesn't mention lesbians and cats in a sentence or have a picture of a lesbian with her pussy, then you're not on a lesbian website! But seriously lesbian + cat = match-made-in-heaven

I was going to wear my DeSean Jackson jersey to the Pride march but I don't think I can since it turns out DeSean is a homophobe. He went and said on a live radio interview something about gay fag*ot or something as appealing and charming...He later apologized after a little media pressure but still. Can't march in a homophobes jersey.

Can I call the police at 3am and complain about the noise if I can hear my upstairs neighbor's snoring? He sounds like a sperm whale's mating call. I've never actually heard a sperm whales mating call but he's a guy and supposedly has sperm and it sounds like he's also a big guy, or just fat, so in my mind he's a sperm whale. On a normal night I can hear his low pitched snoring but few nights ago it was so high up I thought he was being tortured. And I wouldn't blame his lady friend for pinching his nose or putting a pillow over his head with the way he yells at her every Friday. He has a booming voice and a booming snore.

Did I mention I got Blueberry Pie yesterday? I know you're not supposed to capitalize the first letters of that word but seriously, it was that good. And did I mention the personal best on WII bowling?

Fanfic is going to be the end of me. That's all I'll say about that.

That actually might be it for now...I'm kinda hungry and there's still a little piece of Blueberry Pie left. Will come back after the Pride if not tomorrow.

Toodles!

Blueberry Pie

2011-07-20T23:12:00.000+03:00

If you are my friend on facebook you probably know all about this and are probably sick and tired of hearing/seeing this but...I JUST HAD 3 SLICES OF BLUEBERRY PIE AND CAME HOME WITH THE 4TH! And after 2 slices we played some WII bowling and I scored my personal best of 218! It was a beat down! Just goes to show that it was all about the pie because Elviira didn't have any and she kinda sucked at bowling today. Like seriously. And this from a girl who when we were working together came to the company's bowling night with her own balls, shoes and bowling bag! And she was seriously kicking some ass that night too. So...if you ever play WII bowling, or if you go bowling for realz, have some blueberry pie first!

Fresh from the oven. Before I got my hands on it...

First slice with vanilla sauce

Came home with a doggy bag! Guess what I'm having for breakfast tomorrow?

This just goes to show you that internet campaigns are very effective! You just need to know your audience!

and finally...THANK YOU ELVIIRA!

I'm so stuffed that I need to lay down...This is the most blueberry pie I've had since the first time I had it and that was "every woman for themselves" kinda moment. You snoozed you lost because I had a lot!

Have a good night!

Friendships and relationships

2011-07-17T21:33:00.000+03:00

Everybody who knows me knows that I’m kind of a lone wolf. I’ve never made friends easily and I’ve always enjoyed my time alone, my freedom to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I’ve never had a large group of friends around me and I’ve always just had one best friend at a time. But for some reason I’ve never been able to hold on to those best friends. I don’t have a best friend who I’ve known since childhood who I still see regularly or who I call when things get rough. Or whom I confide in.

I think some of those friendships with my best friends have ended because of my jealousy issues. Before I even realized or accepted that I was a lesbian I was jealous of my girl friends when they found boyfriends and didn’t spent as much time with me anymore as they previously did. That’s obviously just the way it goes, it’s natural to want to be with your boy/girlfriend and spend as much time with them as possible. I’m not saying that I had a crush on any of my friends, because honestly there isn’t anyone in my life that I think that way about. Or have any regrets of them slipping by. Or something not happening or whatever. Had I realized who I was when I was a teenager I could have maybe saved a lot of friendships and focused my energy on finding a girlfriend and keeping my friendships as what they were, friendships. And it’s not like they could have understood what was going on with me since I didn’t understand what was going on.

I was bullied in elementary school. I developed earlier than most of my classmates and was made fun of because of it. I was betrayed by people I thought were my friends and who blabbered my business to others. Because of this I have hard time trusting people and I have abandonment issues. You get attached to someone and then they leave or betray you. Or both.

I rarely ask people for help. Asking for help or really asking for anything from anyone is really hard for me. It’s just easier to not ask than getting disappointed by them. I also don’t want inconvenience people. And when I do and people do what I ask of them or do me a favor it always surprises me. Like the girls from my SETA group all saying of course I can join them at the women’s party. Or people offering to get me something they know I really like. Regina sending me Dunkin Donuts, Gold fish and socks (I always had gold fish as a snack at school and when my foot was all fucked up and I couldn’t wear a shoe on it I was wearing all kinds of funny socks and it became a game in class…what kind of socks was I wearing that day). Gareth offering to send me British candy and searching for a soccer jersey for me on his family vacation in Wales. Elviira and Mikko feeding and hydrating me and listening me to babble on about T when I pretty much had nothing and no one to talk to and didn’t know which way to turn to (not to mention giving me all this furniture) and Marianne listening to me past her bedtime when I was maybe just a little bit tipsy. And Candice driving me around in Jersey making sure I got everything done that I needed to. And no one asks anything in return.

I lost my best friend in October. It’s been really hard since then because I also lost my girlfriend all at the same time. I can’t bitch about my girlfriend leaving me to my best friend because they were one and the same. She had a way of making me laugh like no other has before. Or since. She was the first and only person who made me want to be with another person. Who made me see that being alone wasn’t as much fun as I thought and that sharing my life with someone was far more fulfilling that being alone. I think it’s easier to be the one doing the dumping than be the one who’s being dumped because at least you’re prepared for it. You’re ready to move on.

These past couple of weeks have been hard. Last time this happened was when I was 3. That’s when my mom and dad divorced. This week I’ve been helping my mom clean her new apartment. She and my step dad are separating. And as much as I want my mom to be happy I’m also sad. And I am still not in a place where I can be strong for my mom. I’m still hurting from my own divorce and not in a place where I can see things clearly or give sound advice or be anyone’s sounding board. I have so many things to work through, to deal with my own problems that it’s really hard to deal with my mom’s break up. And even if it’s not from my dad (who wasn’t a dad or husband material), my step dad was part of my life for 24 years. And there’s also my brother. Who’s stronger than he’s given credit for but still he has to move from the only home he’s ever known and his parents are breaking up.

Since I moved to my own apartment I’ve been retreating into myself again. I’ve been pulling away from too much human contact and trying to work through my issues by myself. It feels good to be in silence and not have anybody around me telling what to do but at the same time, I’m also wondering how bad this is for me. I feel anxiety when people ask anything from me or if there are expectations on me. When my mom talks excitedly about her new apartment and everything that goes with it, the decorations, furniture etc, I can’t muster the excitement to answer or ask questions, I just tune out. I can’t help but wonder if T was that excited to move on after she left me and if she thought of me as dead weight that needed to be left behind. I really do want my mom to be happy and I understand that where’s she’s now isn’t what makes her happy but I can’t help but to draw the comparison. And I’m hurting all over again. I really thought I was doing better but this has shown me that I still have a long way to go. And my best friend isn’t here.

Ricky Martin was IN MY HOME TOWN TODAY!!!

2011-07-15T22:47:00.000+03:00

So...Facebook is exploding from every person from/around Forssa posting an article about Ricky Martin stopping at a service station in Forssa today. So Obviously I needed to post about it too!

It's not every day a world famous gay man visits my home town! Who cares if he was on his way to Pori Jazz where he was performing later? He was still in Forssa for a brief second!

And why do I care?
WE
ARE
FAMILY...

Lets put our rainbow flags up and be proud! I just need to buy one first...
Not that I was anywhere near where he was today but on the one day I am NOT sporting every rainbow bracelet/ankle thingy-do Ricky Martin stops by in my home town??? Where is this world going?
You can see a picture of him here: Ricky Martin in Forssa

Anyway...back to your regular programming now...

Smiles all around

2011-07-15T19:20:00.001+03:00

I've had a quite a shitty week and it's not even over yet, nor does it stop next week BUT... I just had to post this. A week from now is Tampere pride and I have no idea what the plans are or if I'm even seeing anyone I know or what's going on and how I'm getting there etc....but this much I know: few days ago I sent a text to my old best friend and roommate and asked her if she wants to go have coffee/drinks/something to eat after the parade and before the night festivities start and she just answered that lets do terrace if it's nice! YES! LETS!

It's been 6 or 7 years since we last saw each other... a lot has happened since then. But I just couldn't stop smiling when I got that text. Will be fun times!

Some of the things we did 12 years ago:
-After my matriculation exams were over in 1999 we worked together at the Voyager of the Seas (at the time the worlds largest cruise ship) in Turku (technically Naantali) harbor as cleaners after the fire during construction. We drank ever possible night that bars were open so we were hungover quite a lot. Sometimes when one of us was too hangover to work we let each other sleep at the roof the bathrooms in the cabins. And brought buckets for each other to throw up. Good times!

-We watched every possible ice hockey world championship game in a bar during happy hour and drank as many beers/ciders/lonkero's and salmiakki kossu shots as possible. No wonder we were hungover so much. (And no wonder I can't drink booze or lonkero anymore)

-Oe time during a game a guy got little too obnoxious so I spilled my beer on his crotch on purpose (and ran away)! She followed me little later.

-That midsummer we went to Yyteri camping. I dared her to kiss Hanno Möttölä (Finnish basketball player who used to play for Atlanta Hawks) and she did!

-We/I named her car Henri because its license place started with HNR. We also talked to Henri a lot because he was kind of a woman, hormonal and very moody. Sometimes he purred like kitten and sometimes he didn't start at all.

-The only time she came to visit me in Tampere while I was studying there she met her now baby daddy/husband/boyfriend/fiance.

So there...I can't wait!

A longer and rambling post is coming...so much to process...so many things to discuss.

Have a happy weekend!

Toodles!

Fifa World Cup

2011-07-11T22:18:00.001+03:00

So I was watching the women's world cup football match yesterday between Brazil and USA. I actually wasn't even sure what time the game was on but saw on twitter someone mentioning the earlier game and then I had to check what time this game was on and kinda stumbled into it.

As a lesbian I guess I shouldn't say this but I've never been a fan of women's sports... except Finnish women's basketball and that's only because my first real crush was a basketball player and I didn't even realize I had a crush on her until I came out of the closet and by that time it had been almost 10 years since I had the crush...We could discuss all the stalker-y things I did when I was crushing on her in my teens but we'll save it for another time...(or never) and she was 7 years older than I am. Anyway, she was the reason I was watching basketball...outside of her and her team I couldn't really care less and since she retired I haven't really felt that "passion" for basketball or any other women's sport since.

T went to college on a football scholarship and played since she could walk (I think) so she had a reason to watch Team USa and got me kinda sucked into watching them when they were on. She also played against one of the defenders of Team USA in college so I kinda sorta have a "2 degrees of separation" from team USA... I've kinda been on anti-USA kick since she left me so I wasn't sure where my alliance would lie with this game. But soon after I started watching it and the Brazilians were taking grass samples (aka laying on the ground after obvious dives) and the ref so blatantly was blind/stupid/bought I just couldn't help myself, I found myself cheering for team USA. I was cheering for Hope Solo to save the penalty and she did...only for the ref to order a re-take and Marta scoring from it and tying the game. Then in the over time Brazil scored and looked like they were heading for a win...Erika faking an injury after looking around to see if anyone was watching only to get off the stretchers right outside the pitch and run towards the center field to get back to the game...and for Abby Wambach to score 2 minutes into the added extra 3 minutes....I was yelling and screaming and jumping up and down from excitement! If there is one thing I hate in any sports it's the diving. Football and Ice Hockey are my all time 2 favorite sports and in both you see divers and whiners that take away from the game. You don't see that so much with women's sports in general but boy were the Brazilians diving and whining. And they were the better team, they had the posession of the ball, they were more dangerous and they had better chances to score and had they focused on scoring instead of taking grass samples, they could have easily won the game. But USA never gave up, never stopped fighting and never lost faith and basically with their one last chance they scored. Penalty kicks.

USA went first... Brazil keeper saved but she was miles away from her line and never corrected herself. If you take anything away from that game, it's the fact that you should always LEARN something from either your mistakes or the opponents mistakes and sadly Brazil keeper learned nothing! They got their 1st goal from re-taken penalty and then in the PK's she always got to the 6m line, was way off the goal line. Thankfully Americans scored from there on and Hope Solo saved the 3rd try from Brazil so USA advanced.

Most of the game I had the game on on one side of the screen and Tweet deck on the other and I was watching what people were saying about the game. I'm not sure which was more entertaining, the actual game with the divers/whiners/bad refs or people tweeting about it. I was laughing so hard at one point that I wasn't even sure what was happening anymore.

Here are some gems from yesterdays tweets:

NotHansBacke
I wish Wambach would go down on me that easily. #WWC (Funny because AW is a lesbian, we're 99% sure)
hogan_stanger
This Brazil team is filled with RonaldinHoes #WWC (If you don't get it, well...)
FortyDeuceTwits
Possession. It's not just a Sarah McLachlan song. It's also your friend. #wwc (Love Sarah McLachlan)
BishopsBlaize
When girls are having theyre period, they shouldent be allowed to referee. #WWC (As a woman I should be up in arms and ready to kill this man for saying such a stupid thing but this ref was AWFUL)
sanderspga
If I new a Brazilian I would kick them in the shin out of principle!! US women just got screwed! #WWC (me too [would kick a brazilian, did not just get screwed!])
Whereismyrobot
Trusted not a lot of urgency with Brazil because they know the check has already cleared. #wwc #uswnt (Someone so paid that ref to whistle the way she did...that bad)
ssspoonah
"That Ref's call was an act of war. Face it, we've bombed countries for a lot less." #hearditsoItweetit #wwc #usa (Let's face it, you totally have!)
JasonGilbert7
Wow I haven't seen a corner that bad since I was in time out. #USA #WWC (Just LOL!)
MisterMaryJane
RT @jbboyles76: So with the red card, the puts Brazil up 4 players now! Refs should just put yellow jerseys on. #wwc #smfh (If you were cheering for USA, that's how you felt)
alexbahlavouni
The economy in brasil must be amazing bc they have all this money to pay the refs. #wwc #offside? (Second goal for Brazil came from offside)
juc2
@HarrisAuston Never give up we have Hope! #wwc (Hope Solo saved 2 penalties that night but ref took one away. Thankfully the second counted!)

And that's the game! USA will play France in the semi's on Wednesday and Sweden will play Japan... Not sure who I'll be cheering if Sweden and USA play each other in the final. Sweden apparently has 6 out players in the starting 11...There's a bunch of american players who are rumored to be lez but haven't said it, so... I guess I'll need to see how the semi's go and then if the "dream" final is realized, well, I'll just see how I feel when the game starts. And I do have 2 USA jerseys...0 Swedish. I actually wore my Tim Howard jersey for the PK's and even said on twitter :

IllegalGaylien
Wearing my Tim Howard jersey for Hope Solo! #SaveThemAll #WWC
10.7.11 9:04 PM

So there! It's because of me Team USA won and Hope Solo saved that pk! You're welcome!

Later!

Helsinki Pride 2011

2011-07-10T16:16:00.000+03:00

Helsinki Pride was a ton of fun! I got there in the afternoon, checked into my hotel, went to get something to eat and met up with couple of my former classmates from Tampere, Iita and Antti. We went to a terrace, had few beers and just chatted away for few hours. It has been few years since the last time I saw Antti so it was great catching up. We were neighbors in Tampere, lived in the same apartment building, watched episodes of Friends and IM'd each other when we needed to go out for a beer. I've missed those "lets see in 5 minutes" pub outings. Anyway, as it got close to 8pm I had to make my exit as I still had to get ready for the women's party. I texted with Katja to see where she was at and what time she was going. We made plans to meet at Kaivohuone. I got there maybe around 9:30...it was hot as hell, around 27 degrees so walking all the way there probably wasn't my wisest idea but whatever. It was weird being there already that early as usually in Finland we go to bars around midnight if not after. But this also was the biggest women's party of the year so if you go to an event like this once a year, you do want to get it all in. There was a quite a long line to get in for those who hadn't bought their tickets in advance. I had so I just walked in. I walked around the place few times, checked to see if I knew anybody and proceeded to get a drink. I saw one of the girls from Seta training but wasn't exactly sure it was her so I waited and walked around some more. First couple of hours I spent with Katja and her friends. Was introduced to a bunch of people and was even told by one of them that she's seen me around. Told her it couldn't have been me as a) I don't live in Helsinki and b) I had spent the past 3 years in USA. So we came to the conclusion that I have a twin sister somewhere. Or impersonator! Hope I don't lose my identity as well...

We were sitting inside and I could see when Minna and her friends came there but they headed outside and when I went to look for them I couldn't find them. Sucks being this short sometimes. And Minna's not all that tall either so I couldn't spot her because of her height either. When she came inside I went to say hi and then followed her outside where they were sitting. I was introduced to her friends and spent the rest of the night with them. We chatted, danced and drank. They invited me to march with them the next day...When it was time to go I got a lift from them too.

I was at my hotel little after 2am but before that I went to get some McDonald's. I had 2 beers with Antti and Iita before the party and 3 beers at the party with glasses of iced water in between because I didn't want to get too drunk and I was really just trying to manage the hangover. I'm not one of those people who function well with a hangover, quite the opposite actually, so I wanted to make sure that I wasn't getting too drunk and embarrass myself and then have a hangover from hell when it's billion degrees outside and I'm spending the day in the sun. I also drank a bottle of water before going to bed. Hydration's the key to good hangover management!

On saturday I had breakfast, took a shower and got ready for the parade. I checked out little early just so that I could go take my backpack to the lockers at the train station and go get some coffee before heading to the Senate Square.

Senate Square. This is where the Parade started. I was there early, like 1,5 h so that's why it's so empty.

Minna was in charge of inflating the balloons. She's a member of the Left Alliance, political party in Finland which is why we were marching with them.

Amnesty was there too.

Pride fashion

More Pride fashion

Nice backpack

Heidi is ready for the Parade!

Nyyti was channelling her inner character from the movie "Up" and almost flew away with the balloons.

Paavo Arhinmäki, chairman of Left Alliance and current Minister of Sports and Culture. I was rubbing elbows with the government!

Ready...set...Here we go!

And we're marching!

Ella in yellow. Minna and Nyyti were marching in front of the Left Alliance group.

At the train station in front of a Pride Art. I had to be in 1 picture to proof I actually was there! Nice job Heidi! (taking the picture, not the art) I look fat btw...

4 euro iced latte. Not as good as DD but I was dying for it! It was the best iced latte I've EVER had in Finland! At that point 3 hours in the direct sunlight, little dehydrated and hungry...made a delightful Jenni! When I took the first sip and sigh'd and smiled Heidi was like "Better than sex, huh?"

Picnic at the park afterwards. I was still little dehydrated and hungover so I wasn't drinking at the park. Just water and sports drinks for me.

I had a lot of firsts with this Pride Parade. First women's party, and first Pride in Finland. This was my first time marching too. NYC Pride was always spent drinking and spending time with old and new friends. Dunno if T ever even thought about marching but I never even thought about it because I wasn't sure if it was possible. Now I've found out via twitter that yes, it's possible. And possible groups to march with could have been HRC, Immigration equality and obviously MSU.

The whole experience was amazing and I'm definitely doing it again next year provided that I'm still in Finland. It was great to get out, get to know some new people and be amongst "my peeps". I left the picnic around 6 when I had made a date with Antti and Sauli to have drinks with them. Sauli couldn't make it on Friday because of work so we had made plans to see each other before I left. We sat at a terrace, drank some beer and chatted away. It has been 4 or 5 years since the last time I saw her too so we had a lot to catch up. I took the 9pm bus and was home little after 11pm. All together a great weekend and a mental break from the tedious everyday life! I felt like I recharged my batteries and will do it again in 2 weeks time at Tampere Pride!

What this Pride experience taught me... Finland is a VERY small place! I've always heard that lesbian circles are really small everywhere and if you date more than few people in your lifetime the chances are you will meet and date people that your friends have dated and that your circle of friends is most probably going to include some of your exes as well. Well, something has gone seriously wrong if my ex shows up in my circle of friends as she's not in this country, continent or even where we used to live! While me and Heidi were coming back to the picnic area from our coffee and grocery run she ran into a friend of hers from Turku...proceeded to introduced us and I realized she was from Forssa! I have a feeling that "6 degrees of separation" is more like 2 or 3 degrees in Finland...and you can connect almost everybody through few mutual friends or acquaintances!

That instance right there was a little wake up call for me... The circles here are really small. Everybody knows everybody. How do I fit in in all of this? And this might sound funny or weird or whatever, but I'm gonna have to learn a whole new language...sounds weird since I'm Finnish but it's true. And culture. I seriously sometimes feel like an outsider in my own country. But I'll learn. I'll adapt. Ever since I realized I was a lesbian I have been with an American...speaking English...getting my "cultural cues" from an American... Finland and Finnish culture is totally foreign for me. And nobody knew what my Lebanese T-shirt meant or represented. I am a gaylien!

So there...that was my PrideParade experience. One day I will go to London Pride and some day to Euro Pride. And I'm not done with NYC Pride Parade either. I know the place to be at!

Later!

I'm in love

2011-07-09T20:15:00.001+03:00

It's been 6 years since the last time I fell in love so I'm not exactly sure how it goes...I'm little rusty I think. My symptoms are:
Big smile on my face all the time.
Inability to focus on anything for more than few seconds at a time.
Need to touch constantly.
Need to see all the time.
Feeling restless.

Isn't that what falling in love feels like?

And the object of my affection? My new tattoo!

And while we're not on the subject...WTF happened to the mild and NOT HUMID summers in Finland? I think I'm allergic to this weather! I hate feeling lethargic and like catching my breath is a chore. I hate the constant itching and sweating. I spent 3 years away and all of a sudden we have some kind of Mediterranean climate. And the fucking people are still saying there's no such thing as climate change! F You! I remember reading an article few years ago which said that in the not-so-distant-future Nordic countries are gonna turn into the new Mediterranean and turn into a tourist countries... Warm weather and beaches...and the Mediterranean region will be too hot for tourism. I thought that was decades away. If this continues I'm gonna have to move to further north or just pack my bags and go to Antarctica! This could be bearable if we had some kind of ocean/lake breeze but no. And my albino skin does not respond to heat and sun. not favorably that is. My so called freckles are pink/red. I wonder if I spent more time in the sun if they would actually turn into real freckles or even a "tan"? I do like the fact that I can wear shorts and tees/tanks but Dear Grilled Cheesus, this is too much! 25 degrees and no humidity, please?

I heard a rumor yesterday that my one woman online campaign for blueberry pie has reached its target audience and blueberry pie is in the works within the next few weeks! Internet is such an amazing medium...if my lobbyist/loan shark careers don't pan out, I might also consider career in the internet advertising sector! And seriously...since there's no immediate global warming happening anyway, there's really no need for environmental engineers/managers anyway so I can just forget about that.

As per my new diet, I have had groups #1, 2, 3 and 7 today. Made another f*ing amazing pasta salad today. It had both mozzarella and "greek style cheese". I'd pat myself in the back but it's too hot to move so I'll just verbally congratulate myself. Well done!

I'll be back tomorrow... later!

How many milkshakes a day are too many?

2011-07-08T19:32:00.001+03:00

I bought a blender yesterday and as soon as I came home I made a strawberry milkshake. Today after lunch I made a banana strawberry one. Now I'm getting hungry and am thinking about making another. And since it's billion degrees outside with a trillion % air humidity index, I just might have to stay on this milkshake diet until this heatwave is over.

Last summer when we were on a strict budget and had to cut back on some things, we ALWAYS found a way to include strawberries and ice cream in our shopping list. I'm not gonna lie, I chased after ice cream sales! I had to have my milkshakes! I would kill for Wendy's strawberry frosty shake right now...milkshake, whipped cream and a cherry on top! Yum! If Wendy's and DD could surface in Finland, I'd be in heaven!

I am implementing a new fashionable diet. I think I'm gonna call it Suvi diet (summer diet), because this is pretty much how I've lived this summer and I wouldn't necessarily do this during the long cold winter months. The main food groups are:

1) Smoked salmon on a rye bread. You get your fish and your fiber from this group.

2) Salads. Made a fabulous pasta salad few days ago and ate it in 2 days. The key is CHEESE! Feta, or if you are in the European Union, " Greek styled cheese" as Feta has been reserved for cheese made in Greece... or Mozzarella...lots and lots of cheese. You get your greens and your calcium. And carbs if you use pasta.

3). Milkshakes with fruit. Go crazy with your favorite fruits and just have as many as your stomach can handle! You get your daily dose of calcium and fruits. And it's delicious! And it also keeps you cool internally for like a second...

4) Elviira's Blueberry Pie. It's a shame if you do not know Elviira or if you don't live in/near Forssa but it's to die for. That's what I'm doing right now...dying waiting... But it gives you your berries. Important! It is not necessary to have this pie every day... in fact, if you did, you might not appreciate it as much as you otherwise are, so once or twice a summer is plenty. With a doggy bag to take home to. But now I'm just rambling...

5) Beer/cider at a terrace. Hydration is the key to any heatwave! Little ice water every once in a blue moon is also recommended. Just don't drink alone. That's not part of the diet.

6) Ice Cream. If Elviira's Blueberry Pie is not an option, you should eat as much ice cream as possible. I consider mango melon ice cream to count towards my daily dose of fruits so go out there and have all the fruit ice cream you can.

7) Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Don't care how you drink it, just do! It gives you...caffeine!

As you can see, this diet does not count calories, carbs, fats, salts, sugar or any of the other things people stare at. If this results with excess jello around your waist...just remember, bears eat during the summer too so that they have fatty layer to keep them warm during the long months of hibernation! You'll thank me in the winter when you are warm!

Now I'm hungry. Gotta check if my rye bread has de-frosted. Cannot have group #1 if I have no bread!

Toodles!

Elviira's Blueberry Pie

2011-07-07T22:01:00.000+03:00

I'm starting an online petition to get blueberry pie. It's been way too long and I kinda had forgotten all about it until yesterday when The Neck Flirter herself mentioned it on Facebook. I haven't been able to think about anything else since then so...Can you please bake me some soon? Pretty please? This campaign should be very effective and find it's target audience as Elviira is one of the 3 people who regularly reads my blog. And if not...I am prepared to start a fan page on Facebook for Elviira's Blueberry Pie. I might even order a t-shirt with a picture of a blueberry pie and parade around in it. I'm very impressionable and not above persuading people into doing what I want. I should be a lobbyist. Or a loan shark.

Speaking off impressionable...look what I bought!

Whoever that Swedish person was who started this whole Lion cub business...was a GENIUS! So thank you! Heja Tre Kronor...not! LOL! Now we have "Den Glider In" and This cute little baby lion. I'll take it!

Now if only we could get a rainbow behind him... I should really learn photoshop, shouldn't I?

Toodles!

Gaydar

2011-07-06T22:31:00.000+03:00

I just tested my gaydar here and apparently mine is 70% accurate! And I'm better at recognizing men than women. Surprise surprise! I could have told you that! No wonder I'm the only lesbian in my universe!

I dunno if I'll be able to spend my summers in Finland soon if this heat and humidity continue...I feel like I'm back in NYC. Helsinki was so nice with the ocean breeze. No such luck in Fogerty. On Saturday I spent 10+ hours in the sun, first 2 without sun block and the rest with only one application and I still wasn't burned badly. Only little redness can be detected on the tip of my nose and I actually got color! I'm maybe 2 shades less-white than I was before, which isn't saying much with the shade of white I normally am. Gotta say though, had I spent 10 hours in the sun in USA I would be burned to crisp or dead. No way would I have been able to stay in the sun that long. My worst ever sun burn was acquired in 30 minutes in NJ and I was pealing the skin from my upper thighs for months afterwards. Just chunks of it came off. Was good times. Learned my lesson though.

Funny how when you can't/ are not allowed to do something, you really wanna do it. I can't go swimming for few days since my ink needs to heal... and esp. today I really wanted. I went to get an ice cream cone today and was sweating my ass off. Hate the humidity. As I was walking home I really just wanted to go get the car and drive to the lake. But I can't even stay outside too long because I can't burn my arm so I'm staying inside for the rest of the week. Maybe next week.

Pride parade update coming up, I promise!

Toodles!

Oh yeah...Next project/countdown: Kitty cat! I find it that if I have a countdown or a project coming up, life's not that bad. So I'm working out the details now.

Love is Love

2011-07-05T15:38:00.000+03:00

Well, we kinda missed the second countdown all together, didn't we? It's Tuesday now and I'm already been inked so oops! Blink and it was done too...

Beautiful, isn't it? LOL

I will tell you all about Helsinki Pride in few days once my arm heals and I can actually write without the tattoo brushing up against my side or the computer.

Until then...have a great week!

Toodles!

Anybody know what day it is?

2011-07-01T08:41:00.000+03:00

It's Friday, Friday...

Since I love Glee I'm using their version instead of the original!

Now I will enjoy my cup(s) of coffee in this muggy weather, take a shower, do my hair (very important to have an amazing hair day today) and will head out to Helsinki at noon! People to see, fun to be had...energizing to be done!

Hope ya'll have a fantabulous weekend and if you can...get your gay on! I know I will!

Toodles!

Little Brothers

2011-06-30T17:43:00.002+03:00

Everyone should have one. I think they are probably the best things after girfriends. If you don't have one, tell your parents to get on it. If they are beyond their reproductive years, tell them to adopt one. And if they tell you no...well then you should probably put yourself up for adoption and hope that a family with a pre-existing little brother will adopt you.

My brother is the absolute best there is. This morning I woke up to the realization that I don't own a camera. Shocking, I know. Lost the privileges to one in the divorce. With the Pride Parade just around the corner it just dawned on me that I need one. And with a brother who works at a store where he can get discounts...who do you gonna call? Ghostbusters?!? No! R2! When he got off the work he met me at the electronics department, I handed him the camera and off to the cash registers he went. So I'm now a proud owner of a small pink (go gay) digital camera.

The weather is supposed to be perfect for the weekend. Sunny and around 26 degrees C for both days! I have my "Lebanese" tank top and t-shirt ready and I have all my pride jewelry out. I'm so ready. The only thing I'm not quite sure is how gay can I go/be? It was easier in NYC when I was with T and could take my cues from her and also we were at Christopher Street so you knew no one would harass you there. We were all one big happy gay family. Last year the pride parade in Helsinki got gasses. I've never really showed my gay pride in anywhere else except Forssa when it comes to Finland and I know Forssa, I feel safe here and I kinda feel like people wouldn't know gay pride here if it bit them in the ass so I could be walking around as a giant rainbow and they'd just think I'm crazy. I mean, seriously.

Yesterday at the Roof, me and Elviira were sitting by ourselves and I think I had just showed her my rainbow bracelets when this guy tries to sit with us. And all that time I had been leaning on my right hand with the bracelets showing. Ota silmä käteen ja kato! First of all...Who goes to a terrace at 8pm alone expecting to find company? I would understand in a bar but terrace? Really? Second of all...SEE THE RAINBOWS! Pay attention dude. And Third...we were in a middle of a conversation... and finally...Do I look like I'm interested? I must be doing something wrong because to me it's pretty clear I'm gay. It should be pretty clear to other people too. All you gotta do is read the signs...And Elviira was sitting her back to him. Maybe she was neck flirting? I dunno people... The male mind is such a ~~weird~~ fascinating thing...

Anyways, Only one day left on this countdown! Then we can count down till I get my tattoo!

Toodles!

Hop in, hop out

2011-06-29T19:31:00.000+03:00

Just here to say that it's 2 days to Helsinki Pride! I'm SO READY!

Going to have drinks with Elviira soon... finally able to drag her to the roof terrace! Gotta love summer!

Song of the day: Last kiss by Taylor Swift

Toodles!

Dedication

2011-06-28T22:28:00.000+03:00

(Re)creating American treats in Finland requires a lot of hard work, money and dedication. Especially if you don't have much to spare. Earlier today I enjoyed the sweet taste of 2-euro-a-can ginger ale as I was suffering from dehydration and hunger! Right now, instead of dwelling into the sweet taste of ice cold cider after sauna, I made a root beer float. Another 2-euro-a-can delicacy. well, the root beer...then you also need the ice cream which is extra but just getting the ingredients...

So G.O.O.D!!!

Btw, me, computer in my lap and a pint size class of root beer float trying to smush the ice cream, probably not the bestest of ideas. Especially since I've been known to have accidents in the most inopportune of times. But whatevs.

Ink's been scheduled for next Tuesday. I walked to the tattoo place today after we talked about it yesterday and went to ask prices... since it's not much at all I just went and got the appointment. I really would have loved to have it already this week but since it's gonna be sore for awhile I don't wanna be hurting on Friday. So I scheduled it for Tuesday and then texted R2. His reply "Having mine done on Wednesday". Great minds think alike!

3 days till Helsinki! Who's with me?

Toodles!

Ink

2011-06-27T22:45:00.002+03:00

I've decided to get some!

I don't really have anything profound or interesting to write about today and on top of that I'm little sleepy eyed so big post will just not do today but I definitely need to update you on the countdown. Well, who am I kidding? I'm updating ME! Down to 4 days! Can you believe it? I can't? It's supposed to be hot, thundery and possibly wet also...let's hope the thunder and rain stay away for Friday and Saturday, as I really need to have all the fun I can get and not get rained on. So DON'T RAIN ON MY PARADE!!!

I've also made a decision that I just can't talk about yet. Major changes happening in 2011-2012. That's all I can say. If the changes don't come to you, you go to them. And that's what I'll do. Make the changes happen!

Right now though...Happy Helsinki Pride and get your gaymo on! All aboard the gay tram!

(Picture from Hs.fi)

See the Rainbow! Taste the Rainbow!

2011-06-26T20:18:00.000+03:00

Since it's the NYC Pride Parade today, and the Helsinki Pride Week starts tomorrow I thought I would post some Pride Parade pictures but that's not gonna happen today. Maybe tomorrow. And before I forget...Happy Pride Parade New York City!!! Put your wedding dresses/tuxedoes on and go march and show your PRIDE! Soon you can marry for real!

But now, let's move on to today's topic...Is it me? The City? The Month? All? Or is it just a coincidence? I spend a summer once in every 4 years in Forssa and every time I see a double Rainbow. And not JUST a double rainbow, but rainbow ON rainbow! In 2007, before I moved to USA I had the pleasure of seeing a double rainbow from my living room window.

Then today I was walking to get a pizza in the rain and looking at the bright sunny sky and thinking to myself "Where's the rainbow?" as I'm walking home I see this:

It ends at my parents house, or so it seems!

I know you can't see it very well, my phone just does not have the sharpest of cameras, but that's a frikkin' Rainbow on Rainbow! It's rainbow sex! They're making rainbow babies! Although I'm not sure if rainbows can make babies since they are gay...but they are trying! I've seen pictures of double rainbows before, and witnessed one as obvious from the previous pictures but I've never seen rainbow on top of rainbow before! It's so cool! And I'm so G.A.Y!!!

So does this mean that the double rainbows follow me?
Is Forssa the gayest city on Earth even though I'm the only lesbian here?
Is Pride Month in June because you see more of these double rainbows in June?
Is this all just a coincidence?
And do you see double rainbows anywhere else at any other time if I'm not there?
All these questions...so little time!

I'll be back in June 2015 to answer these questions!

Helsinki Pride week starts tomorrow! 5 days till the party! See you in Helsinki on Friday!

Toodles rainbows!

So ironic, New York!

2011-06-25T16:54:00.000+03:00

Yesterday New York State Senate voted YES for marriage equality. Starting July 24th, New Yorkers, ALL New Yorkers can get married! And this happened under Republican rule! Who knew they had it in them??? I need to review my world view and maybe change my opinion on (some) Republicans. But I am so happy and so proud that some of my friends can now get married.

Earlier this week President Obama was in NYC giving a speech at a LGBT fundraiser and said it's time for all LGBT americans to have equal rights. It's time to put your money where your mouth is Mr. President and DELIVER! Take a stand, and ACT! Unfortunately the presidential election is next year so whatever comes out of politicians mouths these days can be seen as pandering (for that particular group of people) and people would be wise not to believe everything they hear at this time of the year. One could say that while NYS Senate was in the news the whole week regarding the marriage equality bill, Mr. President might have ridden the positive wave and put himself in the middle of it to gain /keep votes... 4 years ago he didn't believe that marriage should be "redefined", so has he now reconsidered or if there is going to be a reform on marriage law, will it mean Federal civil unions or domestic partnerships, but no marriage? Because that's not true EQUALITY.

Anyways, this is progress on so many levels. Congrats New York! And all you NY gaymos out there! Go get married!

6 days...

Toodles!

Hyvää Juhannusta!

2011-06-24T21:04:00.002+03:00

Song of the day; Paloma Faith, New York. Another song that was used to promote a TV show.

And our countdown has winded down to 1 week! That's just 7 days away!

Hope everyone is having a great midsummer and if you're near the water, don't drink and swim! Or more importantly, don't DROWN!

Toodles!

Best. Song. Ever.

2011-06-23T23:35:00.001+03:00

Song of the day: Memories by Within Temptation.

Had I not heard this song, I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today. Because of this song I came out. Because of this song I have a Masters Degree from a University in USA. Because of this song I discovered why "Prince Charming" was not an option for me. Because of this song I made great friends. Because of this song I have that "first love". Because this song was the start of my journey to discovering who and what I am...Because of this song I'll be going to my first Helsinki Pride next week! Because of this...I have memories.

In this world you tried
Not leaving me alone behind
There's no other way
I'll pray to the gods: let him stay

The memories ease the pain inside
Now I know why

[Chorus:]
All of my memories
Keep you near
In silent moments
Imagine you'd be here
All of my memories
Keep you near
The silent whispers, silent tears

Made me promise I'd try
To find my way back in this life
I hope there is away
To give me a sign you're okay
Reminds me again
It's worth it all
So I can go home

[Chorus]

Together in all these memories
I see your smile
All the memories I hold dear
Darling you know I love you till the end of time

[Chorus]

8 days...time flies when you have a countdown! Before you know it I'll be having the time of my life in Helsinki!

Toodles!

I must be off the wagon...bad!

2011-06-22T18:36:00.001+03:00

I'm not exactly sure what I've done or said on Facebook to make it think that I've fallen off the wagon and not doing so good. Not sure if you are aware of this but the FB advertisements are supposed to be interactive and react to whatever it is that your writing there so that the right ads will pop of for the right people.

There's 2 ways to look at this. Either I'm drinking too much or not enough, because I keep getting the ads for Fonecta, a Finnish locator/number finding service. Basically, whatever and whoever you need to find, just call 020202 and they should have the number for you or tell you where you can find whatever it is that your looking for.

I got their ads twice yesterday. First one was "Looking for the nearest bar? Call 020202". Excuse me? I took that as I'm either so drunk that I can't find the nearest bar, I am somewhere unfamiliar and don;t know where the nearest bar is or I am not going to bars enough and it wants to help me find one. So, am I a lush or an absolutist?

Then later on yesterday, I got a new ad from Fonecta. This time it said "Eija. Call 020202". My big sister's name is Eija so that was kinda funny. So basically what I'm gathering from all of this is that I am drinking too much and should call my sister. For what? For help? To go drinking with me? I mean, it has been few years since the last time I spoke with her (we're close, I know) but seriously, for FB ads to suggest that I should get in touch...interesting. Now if it gives me my big brothers name as well, then I KNOW I'm in trouble!

Writing this post got rudely interrupted when my brother called "Come to my store. We need to check out some cute cashiers". That's it. So I went. As unemployed, I don't have too much money to spend on groceries and such and the store closer to me also has cheaper stuff, at least the stuff that I buy the most so I usually go there. But every once in a while I've been known to chase sales and offers. I did that last week and went to R2's store instead. Now the question has become, do I go for the cheaper stuff or the cuter cashiers? I told R2 about this cute cashier girl yesterday over drinks and we spent like 30 minutes going through his facebook friends, and friends' friends and I was trying to describe her to him. He kept pulling names out of nowhere, looked for their FB profiles and just couldn't find her. So today when he had to go shopping he called me and told me to come over and see if the girl was there. And she was. Reason why R2 didn't know her name was because she wasn't on his raydar. So it's good that we have different taste in women. Although I'd lost...everybody around here is straight. I'm not. And they are oh so young. I'm very aware of my age these days. And it probably doesn't help that I'm thinking I'm already 31. Let's just go through that birthday first and worry about that number then...

Wouldn't it be funny if her name was Eija? LOL. Maybe Fonecta knows what it's doing...I was having drinks yesterday and talking about a girl. Maybe that girl is Eija. Although R2 was pretty sure it's something else. Guess I need to check the name tag next time and stare at her chest. Oh well...sometimes you have to do the hard stuff...

9 days! we're down to single digits!

Cheers!

2011-06-21T16:47:00.000+03:00

Song of the day, Adele: Rolling in the deep.

I bought root beer and vanilla ice cream today. I will be celebrating this mid summer by making root beer floats! Good times...yummy!

Today is the last day of double digits on my countdown! We're almost there... 10 days!

Toodles!

Neither me, nor my hair, are straight

2011-06-20T18:01:00.000+03:00

Short hair grows faster than long hair. It's a scientific fact. And if not, it Jenni-tific fact. And yes, I just came up with a new word. But back to hair...Ever since I cut my hair short again, and especially since it's been really short, it grows like a weed. I think I got bit by the hair growth bug, or caught it from T. She used to go get her hair cut once a month or so because it grew so fast. Now I know how she felt. I love my short hair, it looks like me and I have more great hair days than ever before, and even though it grows fast and the style gets longer, it doesn't matter...when I'm having a great hair day. When I'm having a bad hair day, it just sticks up and is all over the place. When it's really short, it doesn't matter because it can be contained. When it's kinda longer, like it is now, it does what it wants and doesn't do as I say. And the underlying curliness doesn't help. My hair is especially curly from my temples. Always has been. There's a string of hair on both sides that doesn't respond to any wax, straighteners or any other methods. I call them my devil's horns. Coz sometimes when the rest of my hair is pointing down, those 2 strands are pointing up. Like horns.

Anyway, I'm trying to decide whether I should cut it before Helsinki Pride or not.

Today's the first birthday of Adriana. Can't believe how much things change in just a year.

Here's a song of the day for your listening pleasure. Pink

11 days till we dance dance dance! And just a week till the Helsinki Pride week starts!
Toodles!

Tattoo fever

2011-06-19T22:18:00.001+03:00

I really want one. Like REALLY REALLY badly. I NEEd it. I'm gay'ing up for the Pride. It goes with being gay. So it's a must, right? Ya'll with me? So I should get it? Great, ok. Thanks for helping me.

In the meantime...this is something everybody should see. My favorite Glee character, Brittany. I love her.

Actually, her cat Lord Tubbington might be my favorite but Brittany is very close second.

So last night at 3:15am I got a text message from my brother asking me if we could go to Tampere one day soon just to eat at Taco House! LOL! Only my brother would send me a text like that! I told him I'm going there on July 23rd for the Pride but if he wants to come at the same time we can go eat there. Might be a bit expensive trip just for taco's. We might tried it also on our amusement park trip, whenever that's happening. And the best part is...he's been there only ONCE, when I took him. Good times! I'll keep you posted. I'm sure this will hold you captivated till the end of time!

12 days and counting!

Suvi-illan maratooni/ Summer night's Marathon

2011-06-18T18:00:00.000+03:00

Call me self centered by I think it's wonderful how my home town has dedicated/ named a marathon after me! Now many of you are wondering how the hell did I come to that conclusion. Well, my middle name is Suvi, which in Finnish means summer (it's alternative word for it), so as you can see, my name is in there! And it's today, going on right now, in fact. It's funny how on a normal Saturday you can take a magnifier glass and try to find cars in Forssa but today, when parts of the streets are closed, EVERYBODY has to drive somewhere.

Doom's Day Marathon

My mom's store is on route so I went there to watch it. You can stay inside when nothing's happening, and you can get a cup of coffee. And when things start to stir up, you can just go outside and the runners are right there.

Beginning of half a marathon

Jussi Utriainen, the eventual winner in black.

For a second there I felt like I was back in NYC

The white building on the right hand side is the kiosk where I went to buy my ticket for the women's party @Helsinki Pride and where I got "outed"! LOL.

Maybe one day I feel motivated enough to try this myself. I mean unless there's a Jenni-marathon out there, I don't think I could find a more appropriate venue to try it. Maybe I'll get up tomorrow morning and feel like a little run. Please gather yourselves and get off the floor, I'm serious! ;-) I also said maybe...

I saw my friend Noora and her son Juuda for a split second today. She called me this morning and said she's going to see her godmother and has to change busses in Forssa and has a 30 minutes to spare. So I went to see them and we caught up. And agreed that she'll come to visit me in Forssa later this summer and that I will go visit them in Turku and we'll hit a gay bar or 2. So I will get my gaymo on in 3 different cities in Finland this summer. It's the summer of Gay! I will also be attending Tampere Pride in July so I have things to look forward to! Maybe we'll have a countdown for that after the Helsinki Pride is over. Which is in 13 days!

Finland is finally getting a new government and ministers... Jyrki Katainen will be the prime minister. I cannot stand him, whenever he opens his mouth I just want to put my fingers in my ears, start humming something and act like I can't hear him. He's one of those politicians who talk a lot without saying anything intelligent. But he's not even worst of it. Päivi Räsänen, the right wing religious homophobic chairwoman of the christian democrats was chosen to be the new minister of interior. Already yesterday they were talking about changing the rules on abortions and maybe making it possible for religious people to refuse to do certain procedures on their patients based on their religious beliefs. And then there was talk about tightening the rules on immigration. As we really do have a major problem with immigration. Especially the non-skilled lazy "refugees" who come to Finland for the amazing weather and awesome and high social security benefits. (Please read the sarcasm in between the lines). Oh yeah, lets not forget the fact that "gender neutral" marriage act is NOT on the agenda for this government. 4 or 5 out of the 6 parties had that on their agenda pre-election. But now it's not there. It was a deal breaker for KD on participating in this government. So they are in, their homophobic chairwoman is the new minister of interior and the remaining parties just folded. Awesome. And that's the ONLY minister they have in the government. I don't see the added value in having KD in there, plus I think they have 6/200 MP's in the parliament so it's not like the government couldn't have gotten the majority without them. But no, they need to be there. Are you fucking kidding me???

well, I won't be watching the news for the next 4 years. I'll just live in my gay bubble.

Toodles!

Lucky Charms

2011-06-17T21:54:00.000+03:00

Isn't it just wonderful when sometimes you talk about something, or miss something, and it just magically appears in your life? Poof, out of nowhere, you find the one thing, or one of many, that you wanted but couldn't have. Yesterday I talked about Dunking Donuts. Still not here. Toaster Strudels...nope, no luck. But...

I went to R2's store today and they also have a section of american foods. Same chain, different store. They had the pop tarts, jello (can you spell jello shots! Gotta buy vodka an I'm all set. Have the whipped cream already) vanilla coke and Orville Reckenbacher's (spelling is fucked up but who cares?) pop corn, majorly over priced as everything else, the salad dressing etc. They also had root beer, which I just might have to buy along vanilla ice cream and make a root beer float, and some other soda, cherry Dr. Pepper and Cherry Sprite. And to top that off, a 12-pack of Canada Dry GINGER ALE! The real deal, not the sugary crap they sell in other stores as "american ginger ale" which tastes like shit. Yuk. But the real deal people! This is big deal. I can get sick now, I can have a hang over now and I can have ginger ale for it.

Oh wait...did I mention the price? 20 euros people. About 26 american dollars. When in USA you get it for $3 if it's on sale. For about $5 if regular priced. So yeah...20 euros was a no go. 2 euros for a single can. Same prices for root beer.

But then, I saw this! Lucky Charms!

We now know what my pain threshold is when it comes to the things I like/miss/want. It's 7,50 people! ($10!) It's 7,50 for a ridiculously sugary cereal which has no nutritional value, except if by nutritional value you mean sugar! Packet says whole grain but I think it's just the cereal box...not the cereal. But it has marshmallows in it, which makes it delicious. And really sweet and sugary. But Noah used to eat this all the time and when I was making his 10th bowl of the day, I tried it. And liked it. And started eating it. And got hooked on it. Bought it in BK too. And didn't let anyone else eat it! By the time they tried it, it was all gone. Poor people.

Anyway...thought you'd might wanna see what it looks like. I didn't take a picture of the smile I had on my face. Nor will I tell you how fast I ate it or how many bowls I ate...

2 weeks people! 14 days...Or if we want to be exact, 13 days and 23 hours till the start of the party!

Toodles!

American food

2011-06-16T23:46:00.001+03:00

Looks like some american foods are slowly making their way over to Finland. Few months ago I found vanilla coke 12 pack, campbell's soups, hidden valley ranch salad dressing and some other items from K-market in Forssa. Other than the vanilla coke, which I really love, non of the other items really appealed to me. And the vanilla coke was so expensive that I would have to win the lottery to even consider buying it.

There are few things that I really miss from USA. Dunkin Donuts everyone knows about since I announce it on every street corner, on FB and sometimes/rarely in here! ;-) I really miss toaster strudels too. I could probably make them myself, but it just wouldn't be the same. So the second best and closest thing I can get here, is pop tarts. They're kinda the same as toaster strudels, but not really. And they too cost an arm and a leg! Almost 6 euros a packet. Sigh...

Since I don't like to cook every day, cooking for one really sucks, I've now made grilled cheese sandwiches 3 or 4 times a week. The cheese is bound to show up on somewhere in my body, although I don't use nearly as much of it as T did. But it's quick, it's easy and it satisfy the most urgent hunger. I've also made egg salad which was really amazing! Both products of my stay in the USA.

But why I'm really writing about food and USA is this...

If Starbucks is bringing products over, why won't you Dunkin Donuts?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I went to get milk and ice cream before going to my mom's store today and this stared me in the eye. Now if this was DD iced coffee/latte/mocha/something-fancy-that-I-can't-pronounce, I'd bounce on it like a rabbit in heat! But it's Starbucks...it's an over-priced ulcer! Sigh. On other news though, my friend Regina promised to send me DD coffee so I should be good for another 2 months.

Later on, I went to that store where they have pop tarts and Vanilla coke and saw that they had the Starbucks lattes and mochas too. And additional Frappucinos! Right now I need every penny I have but when I win that famous lottery, I'll try all of these. Just because I need to make sure Starcraps is still worse than DD.

Just saw an article posted by Advocate on FB, an american magazine for the gaymos...the article was about David Tyree, an american football player who played for the NY Giants the year they won the Super Bowl. He is originally from Montclair, NJ, so even though I hated the Giants, I liked him a little. But not anymore! He battled drug and alcohol addictions few years back and then at rehab, he found god. And like so many born again christians, he thinks that marriage is between a man and a woman...and he said that in an interview to a organizations that promotes the "traditional marriage and family values" e.g. No gay marriage. According to Tyree, marriage brings you closer to god. What about those people who don't believe in god but still get married? People...people...people... Needless to say, David Tyree is OFF my raydar. Maybe on my gaydar though! LOL.

Anyway...15 days till fun!

Toodles!

BTW, congratulations to Boston Bruins and Tuukka Rask and Tim Thomas for winning the Stanley Cup last night! Thomas used to play in Finland before he hit it big in Boston so he's an honorary Finn, just like Brian Rafalski was! But why is this important, you ask? Well...back in October, before the season started I put a bet in for Stanley Cup Champs...I invested heavily for both Boston Bruins and San Jose Sharks. Sharks were eliminated in the Western Conference finals by Vancouver Canucks, the loser in the final, so may I just say how wonderful I am at predicting ice hockey and pat myself in the back? Good job Jenni! You are amazing! The heavy investment? 1 euro each. The winnings? 17,50 euros! Ka ching!

Diffusion

2011-06-15T14:23:00.000+03:00

So we went from having temperatures of +30 degrees C last week to +12 degrees C this week. When it was the hottest last week, the inside temperature in my apartment was +29 C according to my meter. It has gone down to 22 today.

Now I am not saying that I understand anything about physics as I pretty much barely passed both the regular courses and physics labs, thanks to my friends and lab partner who carried me on his shoulders, but as far as I understand, when it's significantly colder outside and you have 2 windows open 24/7 to cool down the inside of your apartment, the temperature SHOULD be lower than 22 degrees. Am I right, or am I crazy?

Like I said last week, my body is not equipped to handle 30 C weather and so now while I can, I want to bring the temp. of my apartment down to bearable level, so that if and when the sun comes out again, it takes a little longer than 2 hours for my apartment to become sauna again.

Now here's my problem. According to the physics law of diffusion, hot air should be moving towards colder, and mix, so the temperature decreases. If that's the case, then why isn't the hot air moving OUT of my apartment, letting the colder air move in and COOL DOWN this place? WHY? Bedroom window open. Check. Kitchen window open. Check. Air should be moving...temperature should be decreasing. NO! What's the problem here folks? Why isn't this working?

Am I really that bad at physics that it can't work around me? It should be a natural phenomena. But I think I broke it. Me, proving physics wrong since 1980!

Countdown: 16 days...So looking forward to this!

Happy Birthday R2!

2011-06-14T12:25:00.000+03:00

Today is the 21st birthday of the
Amazing
Brilliant
Wonderful
Handsome
Fantastic
Funny

little brother of mine, Arttu! Happy Birthday dude! You are the BEST!

Dianna Agron

2011-06-14T00:19:00.000+03:00

Some time ago I spoke about my admiration to the TV show Glee and more specifically their version of Lady Gaga's "Born this way". To me it was about "being Lebanese" and ACCEPTANCE. You can find that from April's posts if you need to revisit the subject.

On Saturday, for the Glee Tour in Toronto, Dianna Agron, who plays "Quinn" on the show, wore "Likes girls" T-shirt for "Born this way", instead of the usual "Lucy Gaboosey", which refers to Quinn's nose job and crazy dieting and transformation on the show. On top of that, she wrote an essay on her Tumblr account about gay rights for gay pride month to show her support for the LGBT community. She wrote a lot of awesome things in support of us and our rights. And she said she wasn't a lesbian. This caused a huge uproar in the world of interweb. The lesbians went crazy, some because their favorite Glee character/actress wore "likes girls" which just totally made their day, whether for the sheer awesomeness or for the fact that their day dreams were just realized. Some because they felt betrayed. How does a STRAIGHT actress DARE put on a shirt declaring she likes girls when she doesn't? Unheard of. And totally unforgivable! (Extreme sarcasm people!!!)

I also read that the straight world went little crazy. OBVIOUSLY she has to be a lesbian to wear that shirt, right?!? And how DARE she wear a shirt like that and corrupt the minds of all the innocent children out there with this hideous promotion of the "gay life style"? Can you imagine the number of innocent STRAIGHT children turning gay because Dianna Agron/Quinn "likes girls"? O.M.G.

Now I don't read the message boards or the conservative right wing news from USA so I am not privy for the things that are being said in the hetero world exactly as I tend to stay in my pretty pink gay bubble and be oblivious to the hate the world has for us. But what I've gathered from the AfterEllen.com and from Twitter, there's been a backlash against Dianna.

I can kinda understand the hetero world not liking it, especially the hetero world that is narrow minded and doesn't believe in equality unless when it comes to SWM (straight white male). But for the gay community to take offense? I don't get it. We are a minority in this world and unless we have straight allies and straight celebs who use their status to speak up about gay/civil/human rights, we will never achieve that equality. Dianna is in her early 20's, in the beginning of her career and she took a huge personal and professional risk by wearing that shirt. I personally cannot applaud her enough for doing so. She is an exceptional human being and just gained a fan in me by doing this. So instead of getting stuck on her sexual orientation, since she's not stuck on ours, let's celebrate the awesomeness that she is!

I personally think that it's a shame that we even need to talk about a straight girls T-shirt choice, but this is the narrow minded world we live in. And the narrow mindness is not just enjoyed by the hetero world. It exists in the LGBT community as well. But, she has created an opportunity for discussion, so this was not in vain.

Thank You Dianna, and welcome to the fold. "No matter gay straight or bi", we appreciate your support!

http://felldowntherabbithole.tumblr.com/post/6453072763 Dianna's essay.

Since it was Monday when I started writing this...18 days, YAY! And since it's now Tuesday...17 days, WOO HOO!!!

I might be sorry tomorrow

2011-06-12T18:57:00.000+03:00

There is the possibility that I will be sorry tomorrow and as the week goes by and it's cold and raining but...my body is totally not equipped to handle this heat. I am not meant to handle 30+ degree weather multiple days at a time. It's just not in my DNA. But this helps!

Yesterday when I was coming home from my parents, I came across this cat. He was kinda shy at first and didn't respond to my "kss kss" sounds but since I am fabulous and fluent at "cat", as soon as I started meow'ing, he was all over me. He was kinda playing coy, enjoying the drive-by pets I was able to give him. But then when I got up and was ready to leave, he followed me. He even wanted to come home with me. But since he had a collar he wasn't for me to take. sigh. And we really don't need another text message on FL's "short" column where someone says that they're cat has been missing days on end and then when he comes home he smells like another woman's perfume.

To show how light it is here at night, I took some pictures yesterday. The first one is from my verandah and the second from my bedroom window. First one was taken at 11:58pm and the second 00:08. I sat outside from 9pm till midnight just enjoying the 25 degrees, no wind...what a perfect night. And despite what has been said about this summer being a mosquito summer, I wasn't bothered by them at all. And I even drank beer testing the theory I just read which said that drinking beer attracts mosquitoes. Maybe I didn't drink enough?

No wonder I have trouble sleeping. And the heat does NOT help!

Anyways...We are down to numbers starting with 1...19 to be exact!

Till tomorrow! I believe I'll be blogging since it's supposed to rain and be cold tomorrow. Me and Arttu were supposed to go to Tampere and hit Särkänniemi for the day but it doesn't look like it's happening.

Wow!

2011-06-12T00:16:00.000+03:00

Mention "Playboy" on your blog and watch the hit count on your blog soar! I've never had so many people visit my blog because of something I said on my blog as I've had the past 24h since I wrote about the German women's soccer players posing for Playboy! Sorry people! No photos here! I think this might out-number the hits from "Who killed Jenny F***ing Schecter" and that still gets hits at least once a month if not more frequently.