Is there anything better than a woman who loves You, mind, body and soul, just the way You are and doesn't try to change You or force You into a mold You are not comfortable with?
I love her.
Monday, January 5, 2015
Friday, October 31, 2014
New romantics
I want to become gay Taylor Swift when I grow up. I'd be super rich and I'd have an outlet to express my feelings and confusion.
We're all bored
We're oh so tired of everything
We wait for trains that just aren't coming
We show off our different scarlet letters
Trust me mine is better
We're so young that we're on the road to ruin
We play dumb
But we know exactly what we're doing
We cry tears
Of mascara in the bathroom
Honey life is just a classroom
Cause baby I could build a castle
Out of all the bricks they threw at me
And every day it's like battle
But every night feels just like a dream
Baby we're the new romantics
Come on, come along with me
Heart break is the national anthem
We sing it proudly
We're too busy dancing
To get knocked off our feet
Baby we're the new romantics
The best people in life are free
We're all bored
We're oh so tired of everything
We wait for trains that just aren't coming
We show off our different scarlet letters
Trust me mine is better
We're so young that we're on the road to ruin
We play dumb
But we know exactly what we're doing
We cry tears
Of mascara in the bathroom
Honey life is just a classroom
Cause baby I could build a castle
Out of all the bricks they threw at me
And every day it's like battle
But every night feels just like a dream
Baby we're the new romantics
Come on, come along with me
Heart break is the national anthem
We sing it proudly
We're too busy dancing
To get knocked off our feet
Baby we're the new romantics
The best people in life are free
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Forssa Pride is done for now
So, a week ago we celebrated the 5th Forssa Pride at Bar54. It was the last Forssa Pride I organized, at least for now, since I hope to be anywhere but here by next spring. The First Forssa Pride gathered about 180 party goers, the two after that about 100 a piece and the 4th about 70. So the trend has, unfortunately, been down since we started. Last week there was only 47. I'm super thankful for each and every one of the people who have showed up, but I can't be happy about the 47 people. I'm kind of sad and I feel like a fraud with my "creator and organizer of Forssa Pride" intro on twitter. I know Forssa is a small town and I know not everyone is out, wants to party, likes the location or has the free time, but I had hoped for a bigger crowd. And unfortunately a lot of my friends I had counted on didn't show. But that's life and you just gotta deal.
The good news is that I spoke with one of the owners today and we left things open for more Forssa Prides in the future. And we kind of have a program for it if it materializes. So stay tuned.
In the mean time, the closest LGBTI-parties to Forssa are in Turku, Tampere, Helsinki and Lahti. I'll see you in some of them!
The good news is that I spoke with one of the owners today and we left things open for more Forssa Prides in the future. And we kind of have a program for it if it materializes. So stay tuned.
In the mean time, the closest LGBTI-parties to Forssa are in Turku, Tampere, Helsinki and Lahti. I'll see you in some of them!
Friday, October 24, 2014
Coming full circle
I feel like I may have used that title before, but who cares? I'm in the environmental field and recycling is good for the environment!
If you have been reading my blog since the beginning, or even just for a few years, you know I take my lesbian TV characters seriously, especially Calzona and Brittana. Four years ago, almost to the date, Calzona broke up on Grey's Anatomy. I was devastated as I had just gone through a break up and got attached and involved. It became important to me for them to get back together and I felt that if they would be ok, so would I.
Eventually they got back together and I felt cheated. And I've written about this before. Nothing felt like before. Calzona might have been ok, even if I didn't feel like they were, but I certainly wasn't. Well, I just watched the latest episode of Grey's and lo and behold, Calzona broke up again. Almost four years after the first time. Or the most serious time. My reaction? WTF? Didn't see that coming. But other than that? Fine. I've gained life experience, I've gained wisdom and most importantly, I know that what I see on TV does not necessarily reflect the reality, or my reality at least. And I don't need to escape into the world of TV lesbians anymore.
So why am I writing this reflective piece if I don't care anymore? Because it's my damn blog and I can if I want to!
If you have been reading my blog since the beginning, or even just for a few years, you know I take my lesbian TV characters seriously, especially Calzona and Brittana. Four years ago, almost to the date, Calzona broke up on Grey's Anatomy. I was devastated as I had just gone through a break up and got attached and involved. It became important to me for them to get back together and I felt that if they would be ok, so would I.
Eventually they got back together and I felt cheated. And I've written about this before. Nothing felt like before. Calzona might have been ok, even if I didn't feel like they were, but I certainly wasn't. Well, I just watched the latest episode of Grey's and lo and behold, Calzona broke up again. Almost four years after the first time. Or the most serious time. My reaction? WTF? Didn't see that coming. But other than that? Fine. I've gained life experience, I've gained wisdom and most importantly, I know that what I see on TV does not necessarily reflect the reality, or my reality at least. And I don't need to escape into the world of TV lesbians anymore.
So why am I writing this reflective piece if I don't care anymore? Because it's my damn blog and I can if I want to!
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Speechless…or not.
If there's one thing I love it's the critique from people who do absolutely nothing but sit on their asses and criticize other people or organizations just trying to do a good job. So instead of going off on this person who left a comment on Qruiser sharing Gay Cafe's fall schedule, I'm just going to open up about it here instead.
Her comments paraphrased: 1) Forssa treats it's gays like garbage, tells them that over and over again and that's why Mental health organization is hosting/needs to host Gay Cafe.
2) The typographical setting of the (schedule and info) poster might keep the people away.
First of all, Forssa as a city might not be doing much for its gay citizens but it doesn't differ any from how Finland currently is treating its citizens, and really, which city organizes anything for it's gays? No one, that's who. It's the Seta's of this world, not the cities. Do I wish Forssa and its people were more involved? Absolutely! Do I expect this to change? No.
Secondly, there are homophobes and idiots everywhere. The situation here could be worse, but could also be better. I'm working every day to make it better here, and people like her are not helping. Instead of just criticizing and spreading negativity, how about suggestions for how to improve? I have been able to live openly for many years now without having any negative experiences and so are many others. Teenage years could have been better, but I was in the closet and deep in denial. People around me used homophobic language, I used homophobic language, and that sucks, but I believe me being openly and proudly me, has since then made a difference.
When it comes to Gay Cafe being held at a Mental Health Organization…It's a PRE-VEN-TA-TIVE organization. And where Gay Cafe is held should't matter. What matters that it's here. And from the sound of it, it could have helped her, had we've been here while she was still in Forssa. But anyway…alluding that Gay Cafe should be with a mental health organization because we are crazy makes it sound like LGBTI-people are crazy and now she is just buying into the homophobes' jargon.
Now when it comes to the poster…I am open for her to come and work her magic as a graphic designer and make a poster for us that will bring "all the gays to the yard" and not be so unpleasing to the eye.
The sad reality is that there are very very few LGBTI-advocates and organizers actively doing this right now. Being in a leadership position at a local Seta might mean that it all falls on few people while others just like to party. As we have no Seta in Forssa, it all falls on me. Leading Gay Cafe and organizing Forssa Pride takes dedication and commitment and I have yet to meet people from Forssa who are willing to put in the work to make this a community and to make sure this continues after I'm no longer in Forssa. This fall might be the last few months when any LGBTI-related events happen here and instead of negativity I hope to see some enthusiasm and positivity. Come at me with your suggestions how to do this better. I'm all ears. The floor is yours.
Her comments paraphrased: 1) Forssa treats it's gays like garbage, tells them that over and over again and that's why Mental health organization is hosting/needs to host Gay Cafe.
2) The typographical setting of the (schedule and info) poster might keep the people away.
First of all, Forssa as a city might not be doing much for its gay citizens but it doesn't differ any from how Finland currently is treating its citizens, and really, which city organizes anything for it's gays? No one, that's who. It's the Seta's of this world, not the cities. Do I wish Forssa and its people were more involved? Absolutely! Do I expect this to change? No.
Secondly, there are homophobes and idiots everywhere. The situation here could be worse, but could also be better. I'm working every day to make it better here, and people like her are not helping. Instead of just criticizing and spreading negativity, how about suggestions for how to improve? I have been able to live openly for many years now without having any negative experiences and so are many others. Teenage years could have been better, but I was in the closet and deep in denial. People around me used homophobic language, I used homophobic language, and that sucks, but I believe me being openly and proudly me, has since then made a difference.
When it comes to Gay Cafe being held at a Mental Health Organization…It's a PRE-VEN-TA-TIVE organization. And where Gay Cafe is held should't matter. What matters that it's here. And from the sound of it, it could have helped her, had we've been here while she was still in Forssa. But anyway…alluding that Gay Cafe should be with a mental health organization because we are crazy makes it sound like LGBTI-people are crazy and now she is just buying into the homophobes' jargon.
Now when it comes to the poster…I am open for her to come and work her magic as a graphic designer and make a poster for us that will bring "all the gays to the yard" and not be so unpleasing to the eye.
The sad reality is that there are very very few LGBTI-advocates and organizers actively doing this right now. Being in a leadership position at a local Seta might mean that it all falls on few people while others just like to party. As we have no Seta in Forssa, it all falls on me. Leading Gay Cafe and organizing Forssa Pride takes dedication and commitment and I have yet to meet people from Forssa who are willing to put in the work to make this a community and to make sure this continues after I'm no longer in Forssa. This fall might be the last few months when any LGBTI-related events happen here and instead of negativity I hope to see some enthusiasm and positivity. Come at me with your suggestions how to do this better. I'm all ears. The floor is yours.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Jeppis Pride, oh Jeppis Pride
I know I've said that I will post things from Lahti Pride, and never did, and from Helsinki Pride, and never did, but now I'm wondering is it really relevant anymore? It's been so long…
And there was a new and exciting Pride in Pietarsaari this past weekend, Jeppis Pride, which was just fantastisk! so I'm gonna write about that instead.
I went there with Mikko as his arm candy/helper/map reader. He was there working for Sinuiksi.fi (advice and support service for LGBTI-people, check it out) and had room in his car and I was on a vacation so it worked out perfectly. On top of that, we got to hang out with some of the people from SETA's board, who I don't get to see often, so that was nice. AND, on top of that, they are now being utilized in my quest to find my better half, as are some of the employees, so that's great. Now that led to some hilarious and embarrassing situations, but that's neither here nor there! We clearly didn't think the whole thing trough, as we had to leave on Saturday night to drive home the 4h drive it took to get to Mikko's place. The party on Saturday could have yielded some stories, phone numbers or smoke signals later on, but alas, I was tired. We kept around midnight and got to his place around 3:30am.
We started Thursday with an LGBTIQ-presentation/discussion at summer camp after which we went to Mikko's place, left my car there and hit the road. We left around 8pm and I live tweeted our road trip with the hashtag RoadTripToJeppisPride, which you can find from Instagram and Twitter.
And there was a new and exciting Pride in Pietarsaari this past weekend, Jeppis Pride, which was just fantastisk! so I'm gonna write about that instead.
I went there with Mikko as his arm candy/helper/map reader. He was there working for Sinuiksi.fi (advice and support service for LGBTI-people, check it out) and had room in his car and I was on a vacation so it worked out perfectly. On top of that, we got to hang out with some of the people from SETA's board, who I don't get to see often, so that was nice. AND, on top of that, they are now being utilized in my quest to find my better half, as are some of the employees, so that's great. Now that led to some hilarious and embarrassing situations, but that's neither here nor there! We clearly didn't think the whole thing trough, as we had to leave on Saturday night to drive home the 4h drive it took to get to Mikko's place. The party on Saturday could have yielded some stories, phone numbers or smoke signals later on, but alas, I was tired. We kept around midnight and got to his place around 3:30am.
We started Thursday with an LGBTIQ-presentation/discussion at summer camp after which we went to Mikko's place, left my car there and hit the road. We left around 8pm and I live tweeted our road trip with the hashtag RoadTripToJeppisPride, which you can find from Instagram and Twitter.
Me and Mikko at Prometheus Camp. I went to visit my dads grave beforehand and let me tell you, it felt weird being there in all of my rainbow glory.
The "Sinuiksi/SETA" mobile.
On our way.
Blinding sun.
Route 66 was long! About halfway there.
Rainbow lights welcomed us to our hotel.
Gay Cafe was there too!
Friday was the day for panel discussions and Jeppis Pride was selling merchandise at the high school. I think my new Jeppis Pride shopping back is setting off alarms at stores, but I need to investigate further.
Being truly bilingual Pride, everything was in Swedish and in Finnish.
Our sinuiksi/Seta booth.
Seriously people, check out sinuiksi.fi. Also on twitter @sinuiksi.
Mikko and one of the organizers, Katarina.
Me with a smirk. I come out as a ax murderer in every picture, so don't mind me. I'm "quite ok" in real life and don't even own an ax.
Pietarsaari's mayor Mikael Jacobsson opened the Pride festival. "If even one person leaves here feeling like they are ok the way they are, Jeppis Pride has done its job"
Forssa Pride was also proud.
Right for culture panel discussion. I got some great ideas which I will try to make happen in Forssa in my limited time still here!
Panel discussion on trans issues.
We're already here! Art exhibition opening. After this we had a bite to eat and drinks with some fantastic, awesome people. No pictures were taken, but those people know who they are. I hope!
We finished our evening with a visit to the ocean.
Before the parade started. With someone's finger.
That flag was like a sail and with me having to carry 2 poles I got tired midway through and this gentleman was nice enough and offered to carry it for me.
Awesome rainbow dress. Unfortunately I don't remember her name, but she offered to carry some of the extra material we had with us. Same with few girls from Turku who had decided to come and support the Pride.
From After Eight after the parade.
I probably have not mentioned Sinuiksi-project yet, so you know, do your thing.
Pride organizer Jeanette on stage.
Sara Sundell brought the greetings from SETA to Jeppis Pride. One of those cool peeps I got to hang out with and who was telling me things about Finnish Swedish girls.
Mandatory picture of my iced coffee, with an ice-cream as a mixer.
I want to see Pride flags in Forssa as well. Working on that.
On our way home we came across a UFO.
Anyway, I want to thank Mikko, Sara, Aija, Suvi, Anna, Ulli, Heidi, Rita, Sirkka and all the other amazing and beautiful people I got to meet and hang out with this weekend and especially your willingness to speak Finnish around this language challenged person. I appreciated it! And to Jeppis Pride organizers: You should be really proud of yourselves, that was possibly the Pride event of the year! At least one of the best I've ever attended! Thank you!
(Edit: if we hung out and/or spoke and your name isn't on the list but you recognize yourself from the description, I'm sorry, I suck! Please forgive me?
Edit number 2: I never should have put any names here, I forgot a really obvious one, Jouko!)
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Be still my shipper heart
Let's take a minute from the serious grind of Forssa Pride and Gay Cafe and Seta and human rights stuff and marriage equality and focus on something less serious but still so wonderfull (terrible).
At 33 and a half I'm probably too old to be swooning over fictional teenage lesbian couples and/or characters, and I sort of thought I was over my fixation on Glee and especially Brittana, but it turns out, I'm not. Not having Heather Morris on Glee anymore, and Santana having imaginary off screen girlfriend that we never see, and overall Glee sucking so badly I haven't watched an episode of Glee since before season 4 ended.
Now though, for the 100th episode they brought back all the originals and even gave Brittana a huge storyline and more importantly, a kiss (a hot one), on screen. And they talked about possibly getting back together. And there is no word on whether Heather Morris is ever getting back regularly or even as a guest star so the chances of all of this ending up well are very small.
I know this in my head, my over excited, love-story-loving, happily-ever-after believing heart is another matter. So when they released the video for Valerie I got excited. It even affected my sleep! I couldn't fall asleep last night, was up way past 1am (episode aired at 2am my time) and woke up over an hour before my alarm went off. And the fangirling that's happening on Tumblr? How am I supposed to resist and be a sane adult person?
Why couldn't they give us this when they were both on the show? Why do everything we ever wanted just for it to go away or happen off screen? Why are you doing this to me? WHY?
Wanna know what I'm doing tonight after work? Watching this frigging episode!
At 33 and a half I'm probably too old to be swooning over fictional teenage lesbian couples and/or characters, and I sort of thought I was over my fixation on Glee and especially Brittana, but it turns out, I'm not. Not having Heather Morris on Glee anymore, and Santana having imaginary off screen girlfriend that we never see, and overall Glee sucking so badly I haven't watched an episode of Glee since before season 4 ended.
Now though, for the 100th episode they brought back all the originals and even gave Brittana a huge storyline and more importantly, a kiss (a hot one), on screen. And they talked about possibly getting back together. And there is no word on whether Heather Morris is ever getting back regularly or even as a guest star so the chances of all of this ending up well are very small.
I know this in my head, my over excited, love-story-loving, happily-ever-after believing heart is another matter. So when they released the video for Valerie I got excited. It even affected my sleep! I couldn't fall asleep last night, was up way past 1am (episode aired at 2am my time) and woke up over an hour before my alarm went off. And the fangirling that's happening on Tumblr? How am I supposed to resist and be a sane adult person?
Why couldn't they give us this when they were both on the show? Why do everything we ever wanted just for it to go away or happen off screen? Why are you doing this to me? WHY?
Wanna know what I'm doing tonight after work? Watching this frigging episode!
Friday, March 7, 2014
Transportation to Forssa Pride from Tampere (and Hämeenlinna)
Signal boost! Pirkanmaan Seta is trying to organize a bus transportation to Forssa Pride if there are enough people interested. So if you are from Tampere or Hämeenlinna, contact taloudenhoitaja at pirkanmaanseta.fi to get the details. Cost of trip is still up in the air, depends on how many is coming. Pirkanmaan Seta might sponsor some of it.
Seriously, as much as I'd like for you to stay around and read my blog, please go write that e-mail and I'll see you next Friday, here at Forssa!
Seriously, as much as I'd like for you to stay around and read my blog, please go write that e-mail and I'll see you next Friday, here at Forssa!
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Time for the crazies to come out
Or as we like to call them, 1/5 of the Finnish parliament. The citizen's initiative on marriage equality in Finland was debated for the first time in the Finnish parliament last Thursday, before it was sent to the law committee. As you can imagine, there was a lively debate on the merits of the initiative and how it is going to ruin the society as we know it. Basic Finns were at their best coming up with the usual polygamy claims, as well as "that's how its always been". One of the most bizarre arguments was a guy saying that next in the name of equality, the changing rooms at swimming halls will be unisex, because that's equality. How sam sex love results in lesbians wanting to change in front of straight men is beyond me, but that's what's coming if I can get married.
Speaking of marriage and love and all that good stuff, I finally, after lots of coercion from my cheerleaders, changed my profile on Qruiser. Before I was just looking for friends, now I'm open for more. My cheerleaders have both found their significant others through Qruiser, and if 2 people whose opinion I appreciate tells me it might be worth it, I should listen to them, right? I was against it because you really don't know where you'll end up if you meet someone through the internet, and what would my profile say? Lazy lez cat lady looking for love? Also, I would prefer to meet someone organically via mutual friends or through all this SETA stuff I'm doing, but I guess beggars can't be choosers and it's not like Forssa region is a big juicy open hunting ground where lesbians frolic just waiting to meet me. So here's roughly what it says there (in Finnish of course):
Looking for: a long term companion to drink coffee with
You: Have a sarcastic sense of humor, like cats and are not allergic to them. No requirements as far as appearances go because sense of humor cannot be seen from outside. Also would prefer if you were in southern Finland.
Me: An introvert, quiet and have a sarcastic sense of humor. A cat lover, fan fiction reader and a fanatic )advocate of lgbti rights. Lazy gym goer, sports fanatic, SETA advocate. Organizer of gay pride parties and leader of an lgbti support group. Addicted to social media. I like to belt out my favorite songs off key in my car. Set in my ways old maid. I'd like to do all sorts of things, but it's not always fun alone.
Favorite show: criminal minds. I love to hate on Glee. Fanatical and critical of the lez/bi couples and characters on TV.
Now if that doesn't bring all the ladies in my yard, then I don't know what will! Now seriously though, doesn't that just scream perfect wife and partner material?
One of these days I'll post pictures from Lahti Pride, but today is not that day. I'll see you next time!
Speaking of marriage and love and all that good stuff, I finally, after lots of coercion from my cheerleaders, changed my profile on Qruiser. Before I was just looking for friends, now I'm open for more. My cheerleaders have both found their significant others through Qruiser, and if 2 people whose opinion I appreciate tells me it might be worth it, I should listen to them, right? I was against it because you really don't know where you'll end up if you meet someone through the internet, and what would my profile say? Lazy lez cat lady looking for love? Also, I would prefer to meet someone organically via mutual friends or through all this SETA stuff I'm doing, but I guess beggars can't be choosers and it's not like Forssa region is a big juicy open hunting ground where lesbians frolic just waiting to meet me. So here's roughly what it says there (in Finnish of course):
Looking for: a long term companion to drink coffee with
You: Have a sarcastic sense of humor, like cats and are not allergic to them. No requirements as far as appearances go because sense of humor cannot be seen from outside. Also would prefer if you were in southern Finland.
Me: An introvert, quiet and have a sarcastic sense of humor. A cat lover, fan fiction reader and a fanatic )advocate of lgbti rights. Lazy gym goer, sports fanatic, SETA advocate. Organizer of gay pride parties and leader of an lgbti support group. Addicted to social media. I like to belt out my favorite songs off key in my car. Set in my ways old maid. I'd like to do all sorts of things, but it's not always fun alone.
Favorite show: criminal minds. I love to hate on Glee. Fanatical and critical of the lez/bi couples and characters on TV.
Now if that doesn't bring all the ladies in my yard, then I don't know what will! Now seriously though, doesn't that just scream perfect wife and partner material?
One of these days I'll post pictures from Lahti Pride, but today is not that day. I'll see you next time!
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Forssa Pride Party 4
The new poster is finished! Forssa Pride party vol.4 will be on March 14th at Bar 54! See you there
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Pride and proud
Well, 2014 started off with a bang! Last Friday's Gay Gala will be followed with this weekend's Lahti Pride. And today I found out that one of those great things I expected to happen this year, happened. I got an e-mail from the secretary general of Seta today telling me I was one of the chosen ones for Seta's international Affairs committee. We have our first meeting of the year next Wednesday in Helsinki. So yay! Thanks for trusting me.
To go back to my last post, I realize that it might have sounded a little like I expected to be nominated and to win, which was not what I meant at all. It was more in regards to the TV and movie categories and the fact that Finnish TV doesn't have other shows or characters than the gay couple on Salatut Elämät, and that from the 4 nominated in the movie category, 2 of them were by LGBT people and about LGBT issues. I hadn't seen any of them, but I don't think the 2 Peter Franzen led movies were LGBT? I might be wrong though, I rarely watch Finnish TV or movies so I don't really know much about them.
There are plenty of LGBT people working in TV and movies and other arts related industries in Finland, and I felt like they should be celebrated instead of nominating all those straight made shows/movies. But, if we don't know about them, or their projects, it's difficult to nominate them. And there are plenty of locally important projects and people working in LGBT advocacy, but they are not as seen or heard as much as for example Tahdon 2013 campaign, which has succeeded really well in getting into people's hearts and heads and homes. Last year was clearly Tahdon 2013 campaigns, there's no doubt about it.
As an introvert I'm really out of my comfort zone in going to events by myself. I need someone to go with me and if these events weren't important places to be seen and to network in the LGBT community, and if I didn't know that there are going to be friendly faces there, I probably would have stayed at home last Friday and I wouldn't be going to Lahti Pride by myself! And the city of Lahti is totally foreign to me so this is doubly scary! I was gonna drive, but if the snow storm is gonna be bad on Saturday, I might just take the bus, even if it's super expensive. But this is FIRST. EVER. Lahti Pride and it's organized by a friend of mine, so it's important to participate. Hopefully I'll see you there!
To go back to my last post, I realize that it might have sounded a little like I expected to be nominated and to win, which was not what I meant at all. It was more in regards to the TV and movie categories and the fact that Finnish TV doesn't have other shows or characters than the gay couple on Salatut Elämät, and that from the 4 nominated in the movie category, 2 of them were by LGBT people and about LGBT issues. I hadn't seen any of them, but I don't think the 2 Peter Franzen led movies were LGBT? I might be wrong though, I rarely watch Finnish TV or movies so I don't really know much about them.
There are plenty of LGBT people working in TV and movies and other arts related industries in Finland, and I felt like they should be celebrated instead of nominating all those straight made shows/movies. But, if we don't know about them, or their projects, it's difficult to nominate them. And there are plenty of locally important projects and people working in LGBT advocacy, but they are not as seen or heard as much as for example Tahdon 2013 campaign, which has succeeded really well in getting into people's hearts and heads and homes. Last year was clearly Tahdon 2013 campaigns, there's no doubt about it.
As an introvert I'm really out of my comfort zone in going to events by myself. I need someone to go with me and if these events weren't important places to be seen and to network in the LGBT community, and if I didn't know that there are going to be friendly faces there, I probably would have stayed at home last Friday and I wouldn't be going to Lahti Pride by myself! And the city of Lahti is totally foreign to me so this is doubly scary! I was gonna drive, but if the snow storm is gonna be bad on Saturday, I might just take the bus, even if it's super expensive. But this is FIRST. EVER. Lahti Pride and it's organized by a friend of mine, so it's important to participate. Hopefully I'll see you there!
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Qx Gay Gaala 2014: Otherness and us vs. them
For the first time ever, a gay gala was held in Finland to celebrate last year's top queer happenings, people and allies in Finland. I'm not going to lie, in the back of my mind I was hoping to get a nomination for the things I'm doing in Forssa. Had I been nominated, I would have gone, no doubt. Since I wasn't, I didn't make any plans, until 2 weeks ago when I got a personal invitation for me +one to attend. I was shocked. I was ecstatic. And I was proud. A lot of the celebrity lgbt-people I know from Finland weren't, so this was an honor.
I spent the night with Seta folks and we had fun. I spoke with some of them about the gala, the nominees, the winners and overall experience. I spoke with Seta chairperson, J-P and watched him talk with a lot of different people during the night. He's well-spoken, knowledgable, very gracious, poltically correct and really good with people (and his good looks don't hurt). Truly a wonderful spokesperson for Seta and the LGBT community in Finland. I aspire to be more like him with my pc'ness.
Now don't get me wrong, I really like Krista Kosonen. I think she's funny and she's obviously gorgeous, but I wish they had had somebody from the community to host the gala. Overall, there was too much straightness being celebrated. Since there really isn't a queer TV or movie industry in Finland, I don't think those categories need to be present at this time, or they should only include tv shows and movies with an LGBT representation or which are made by LGBT people. I think Krista Siegfried was nominated in almost every category except gay of the year, or so it seemed. And she has done a lot for the gay visibility in Finland and in the world as a straight ally kissing girls on stage, but still, there are more deserving gay people out there doing things that aren't necessarily as visible, but make a difference nonetheless.
As a night celebrating the gay community, there was way too much otherness and words such as "weird" and "different" and "normal" being thrown around. Can't we all just be people, unique in our own way, without bringing the straight vs. gay, us vs. them into the conversation? The one night where we can just be us, be fabulous and celebrate it, had to turn political as well. We have pride parades for political statements, we have Seta advocating for our rights, we have Tahdon 2013 citizen's initiative for marriage equality, do we need to bring pope and religion and Päivi Räsänen and laws into the discussion? There was no need for comparisons, and no need for the straight folks to emphasize their straightness. We should have enough celesbians and gays and bi's and trans* people in Finland to occupy this event. Even the most aware and open straight allies cannot really grasp the concept of being lgbt and that was painfully obvious with some of them yesterday.
I think Krista K. over-empasized her straightness and saying that she tried being bi was in a way an insult to the bisexuals. They get a lot of hate and questions about their sexuality and hear how they are just confused and media does a lot of bi-erasure as well, so having someone basically confirm that you can choose your sexuality can do a lot of harm. Acceptance of bisexuality as a valid sexual orientation has a long way to go still and this was not helping the cause.
And then there were the few occasions where the drag queens gave speeches that was subpar. Cristal Snow singled out a drag queen who had told her back in the day that she'd never make it in the business and look at her now…No need to be mean, just thank everyone, celebrate your win and move on, or if you have to say something, do it privately.
It's ok to be you and I like you, but I'm not like you. That was the feeling I left with and that's why I don't think the evening was 100% a success.
I spent the night with Seta folks and we had fun. I spoke with some of them about the gala, the nominees, the winners and overall experience. I spoke with Seta chairperson, J-P and watched him talk with a lot of different people during the night. He's well-spoken, knowledgable, very gracious, poltically correct and really good with people (and his good looks don't hurt). Truly a wonderful spokesperson for Seta and the LGBT community in Finland. I aspire to be more like him with my pc'ness.
Now don't get me wrong, I really like Krista Kosonen. I think she's funny and she's obviously gorgeous, but I wish they had had somebody from the community to host the gala. Overall, there was too much straightness being celebrated. Since there really isn't a queer TV or movie industry in Finland, I don't think those categories need to be present at this time, or they should only include tv shows and movies with an LGBT representation or which are made by LGBT people. I think Krista Siegfried was nominated in almost every category except gay of the year, or so it seemed. And she has done a lot for the gay visibility in Finland and in the world as a straight ally kissing girls on stage, but still, there are more deserving gay people out there doing things that aren't necessarily as visible, but make a difference nonetheless.
As a night celebrating the gay community, there was way too much otherness and words such as "weird" and "different" and "normal" being thrown around. Can't we all just be people, unique in our own way, without bringing the straight vs. gay, us vs. them into the conversation? The one night where we can just be us, be fabulous and celebrate it, had to turn political as well. We have pride parades for political statements, we have Seta advocating for our rights, we have Tahdon 2013 citizen's initiative for marriage equality, do we need to bring pope and religion and Päivi Räsänen and laws into the discussion? There was no need for comparisons, and no need for the straight folks to emphasize their straightness. We should have enough celesbians and gays and bi's and trans* people in Finland to occupy this event. Even the most aware and open straight allies cannot really grasp the concept of being lgbt and that was painfully obvious with some of them yesterday.
I think Krista K. over-empasized her straightness and saying that she tried being bi was in a way an insult to the bisexuals. They get a lot of hate and questions about their sexuality and hear how they are just confused and media does a lot of bi-erasure as well, so having someone basically confirm that you can choose your sexuality can do a lot of harm. Acceptance of bisexuality as a valid sexual orientation has a long way to go still and this was not helping the cause.
And then there were the few occasions where the drag queens gave speeches that was subpar. Cristal Snow singled out a drag queen who had told her back in the day that she'd never make it in the business and look at her now…No need to be mean, just thank everyone, celebrate your win and move on, or if you have to say something, do it privately.
It's ok to be you and I like you, but I'm not like you. That was the feeling I left with and that's why I don't think the evening was 100% a success.
Monday, January 13, 2014
It's been 84 years
You know, as a single entity, last year was probably the best of my life so far. And it includes not getting the things I really wanted, not being voted for positions I really wanted, remaining single and not winning the lottery, but still an amazing year and I'm pretty sure this new one is going to top it.
In my last post I talked about putting myself out there for the board member position at Seta. As you can see from my lack of "yeah, I got it"-posts, I wasn't chosen. I was one vote short of a re-vote for the alternate position and 4 short from a direct place in the board. After that I nominated myself for a board member position at Pirkanmaan Seta and was turned down again! But, the weekend at the annual general meeting for Seta was truly amazing and I was able to network with people and made some great connections. I'm sure that many of them and the ideas we talked about during and after will materialize somehow. And the best part is, I now know all the board members so I can complain directly to them when I see something Seta needs to address.
Being the only lesbian in the village can be rough sometimes. It's so energizing when you can bounce your ideas off from someone and that's what that weekend gave me. Being a humans right advocate can be really stressful and tiring sometimes, but being able to share your experiences and getting ideas from others who might be going through the same thing is great. It was like a one giant peer support group and in between we made some decisions about the direction where Seta is taking its human rights advocacy for the next few years.
What's best is the recognition I got from my peers for the job I've done and am doing in Forssa right now. I've talked about feedback before and there really isn't anything better as far as validation goes than when your application to something important is answered with "YES! I was wondering if you'd apply for this". Having people believe in you, especially when the environment surrounding you isn't really showing it in so many words is what makes this worth it. Having new people coming in for Gay Cafe is great too. Building this community isn't gonna happen overnight and it takes a lot of patience which I don't always have, but I believe in what I'm doing so as long as people keep showing up for Gay Cafe and Forssa Pride, I'll keep doing it.
Speaking of Forssa Pride, we have a date for Forssa Pride 4! March 14th, 2014! It'll be in partnership with Qruiser, which is sending us those naughty stickers again and gave us gold memberships to raffle. Come alone or bring friends, it should be fun! I'm also one of the people updating this blog, so Forssa Pride is really going places!
Gay Cafe is participating in Lahti Pride! I'm so excited about this! I know some of the organizers and I'm sure it's going to be fabulous! Gay Cafe is doing the parade as well as after party. I really wanted to see the movie and hear the panel discussions on Friday as well, but financial situations are such that it's only going to be Saturday for us.
I have a really exciting project coming up, or it was tentatively proposed to me. If it's going to happen, watch out! Can't say anything yet, because nothing's for certain, but I'm really excited about it and I hope I'll be able to participate!
Come say hi if you're at Lahti Pride!
In my last post I talked about putting myself out there for the board member position at Seta. As you can see from my lack of "yeah, I got it"-posts, I wasn't chosen. I was one vote short of a re-vote for the alternate position and 4 short from a direct place in the board. After that I nominated myself for a board member position at Pirkanmaan Seta and was turned down again! But, the weekend at the annual general meeting for Seta was truly amazing and I was able to network with people and made some great connections. I'm sure that many of them and the ideas we talked about during and after will materialize somehow. And the best part is, I now know all the board members so I can complain directly to them when I see something Seta needs to address.
Being the only lesbian in the village can be rough sometimes. It's so energizing when you can bounce your ideas off from someone and that's what that weekend gave me. Being a humans right advocate can be really stressful and tiring sometimes, but being able to share your experiences and getting ideas from others who might be going through the same thing is great. It was like a one giant peer support group and in between we made some decisions about the direction where Seta is taking its human rights advocacy for the next few years.
What's best is the recognition I got from my peers for the job I've done and am doing in Forssa right now. I've talked about feedback before and there really isn't anything better as far as validation goes than when your application to something important is answered with "YES! I was wondering if you'd apply for this". Having people believe in you, especially when the environment surrounding you isn't really showing it in so many words is what makes this worth it. Having new people coming in for Gay Cafe is great too. Building this community isn't gonna happen overnight and it takes a lot of patience which I don't always have, but I believe in what I'm doing so as long as people keep showing up for Gay Cafe and Forssa Pride, I'll keep doing it.
Speaking of Forssa Pride, we have a date for Forssa Pride 4! March 14th, 2014! It'll be in partnership with Qruiser, which is sending us those naughty stickers again and gave us gold memberships to raffle. Come alone or bring friends, it should be fun! I'm also one of the people updating this blog, so Forssa Pride is really going places!
Gay Cafe is participating in Lahti Pride! I'm so excited about this! I know some of the organizers and I'm sure it's going to be fabulous! Gay Cafe is doing the parade as well as after party. I really wanted to see the movie and hear the panel discussions on Friday as well, but financial situations are such that it's only going to be Saturday for us.
I have a really exciting project coming up, or it was tentatively proposed to me. If it's going to happen, watch out! Can't say anything yet, because nothing's for certain, but I'm really excited about it and I hope I'll be able to participate!
Come say hi if you're at Lahti Pride!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
MILK it baby!
Last week was a bit of a movie week for Gay Cafe. On Tuesday at our usual meeting time we watched the movie "Milk" about Harvey Milk and his work for LGBT rights and on Saturday we went to the movies and saw "Gravity". I've seen Milk once before and I remember feeling so empowered back then. That hasn't changed since then, I felt the message, and I felt the calling. It's especially moving and timely right now, as next week SETA has its annual meeting where half of the board is being elected and I'm one of the candidates for the open positions. I've been thinking about this since last spring and have talked about it with friends and gotten so much encouragement and it's something I feel like I should do. I need to do this. And as much as I want to affect change and be part of something bigger, I'm also terrified. But nothing worth having/getting is ever easy and it's time I step out of my comfort zone. Again.
One of the things I'd like to influence is activating the LGBT community. Whether it's participating in peer support groups, getting involved in their local SETA's, organizing parties or creating their own peer support groups, I want the community engaged. Engaged in the fight for all of our rights, engaged in creating communities around Finland, engaged in intelligent discussions and engaged in changing the attitudes towards us, especially in small towns.
The further away you go from Helsinki, and the smaller the towns get, the longer the distances become and the further away are the local SETA's where you can get the support and friendships you need. If we can get the LGBT people from those small towns to come out to their families, friends, co-workers and local politicians, maybe we can influence a change in their attitudes. It's going to be more difficult to deny people their rights when it's someone you know and love whose rights you are denying.
If I'm elected to be a board member at SETA, I'd like to work in getting people to become members of their local SETA, or even establish one n their home community. It might not be ideal or possible in some smaller communities, but unless we get more members and branch out all over Finland, it never will be possible.
I've thought about establishing a local SETA here, but right now, as things stand, we are far few people to do so. And Forssa and the surrounding area might be a just a little too small of an area for having one of our own. Maybe in the future when I can get more people to actively participate, then maybe. One viable option is to have one for Kanta-Häme. The population would be big enough, but the problem right now is that I don't know anyone from Hämeenlinna. I'f I'm elected to the board I hope to meet more of the local people who might be interested in local SETA. Forssa as an area isn't really attractive for people to move into, as people are losing jobs and factories are closing and after high school people tend to move into bigger cities, and if they are LGBT and get into the local SETA activities, getting them to move back to this small town is very difficult.
So, there's a lot of work to be done and I hope to be part of it, as a SETA board member or just a Gay Cafe leader/Forssa Pride organizer.
One of the things I'd like to influence is activating the LGBT community. Whether it's participating in peer support groups, getting involved in their local SETA's, organizing parties or creating their own peer support groups, I want the community engaged. Engaged in the fight for all of our rights, engaged in creating communities around Finland, engaged in intelligent discussions and engaged in changing the attitudes towards us, especially in small towns.
The further away you go from Helsinki, and the smaller the towns get, the longer the distances become and the further away are the local SETA's where you can get the support and friendships you need. If we can get the LGBT people from those small towns to come out to their families, friends, co-workers and local politicians, maybe we can influence a change in their attitudes. It's going to be more difficult to deny people their rights when it's someone you know and love whose rights you are denying.
If I'm elected to be a board member at SETA, I'd like to work in getting people to become members of their local SETA, or even establish one n their home community. It might not be ideal or possible in some smaller communities, but unless we get more members and branch out all over Finland, it never will be possible.
I've thought about establishing a local SETA here, but right now, as things stand, we are far few people to do so. And Forssa and the surrounding area might be a just a little too small of an area for having one of our own. Maybe in the future when I can get more people to actively participate, then maybe. One viable option is to have one for Kanta-Häme. The population would be big enough, but the problem right now is that I don't know anyone from Hämeenlinna. I'f I'm elected to the board I hope to meet more of the local people who might be interested in local SETA. Forssa as an area isn't really attractive for people to move into, as people are losing jobs and factories are closing and after high school people tend to move into bigger cities, and if they are LGBT and get into the local SETA activities, getting them to move back to this small town is very difficult.
So, there's a lot of work to be done and I hope to be part of it, as a SETA board member or just a Gay Cafe leader/Forssa Pride organizer.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Pride stinks or how does the saying go?
And when I say Pride, I don't mean Forssa Pride, but my super-sized head that's about to burst from happiness from all this praise! Leena is writing a blog to city.fi about her year as a Miss Gay Finland and she just posted about Forssa Pride! And she might have, maybe, sort of, kind of mentioned me by name, so yeah…
I'm not saying that you should read the post, but you should probably read her post. If you can read Finnish, that is.
Forssa should hire Rakel and Leena as spokespeople for the city, since they have done more for Forssa's reputation than any ad firms have done with ad campaigns.
Have a super gay weekend, I'm going to go sweat this pride in the sauna!
I'm not saying that you should read the post, but you should probably read her post. If you can read Finnish, that is.
Forssa should hire Rakel and Leena as spokespeople for the city, since they have done more for Forssa's reputation than any ad firms have done with ad campaigns.
Have a super gay weekend, I'm going to go sweat this pride in the sauna!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Dare to dream!
No, really, I dare to you to dream and then make it a reality! Never in a million years did I think that I would get some of the biggest and hottest LGBT-names in Finland to come to my little shindig, but they did and it was amazing!
You know, there's always room for improvement and we definitely have that in regards to attendance but as far as the program part of Forssa Pride 3 goes, I can't complain. It was everything I wanted it to be and more. I had no doubt that Rakel would deliver, she's a pro at this. She's funny, she's articulate and she was the perfect hostess for the event. I listened carefully when Leena won her Miss Gay Finland crown and her speech after winning was something I could identify with. She wants to have an impact on the same things I do. The one part that I wasn't familiar with was Aleks, but I was really impressed with him. Not a lot of 19-year olds have to do that much self reflection nor are they ready to take on the task of changing peoples perception or fight for human rights. Aleks was very mature and his attitude of "you have to take bad with the good" was really impressive. You can't take everything personally and that's something we should all remember. On top of them bringing their A-game, they were all really lovely people and weren't bothered with all the "Can I get a picture with you" questions they heard throughout the night. I think Aleks with his recent stint in the Celebrity Big Brother house was the biggest hit of the night.
The intellectual discussion was something that you don't really get in Forssa, at least not in public, and makes me think about all the things I'm missing. Also, makes me sad that not more people were interested in coming to hear them, because there was a lot of things that could have opened peoples eyes and really make them think about things and their own resources to impact a change, whether in their own lives, in Forssa or even more nationally. Listening to that discussion and also the questions that were posed, made me appreciate my own Gay Cafe group and the "more than a rainbow" group I go to at Pirkanmaan Seta.
On Sunday I heard people I don't personally know talking about Forssa Pride for the first time. I thought it was great, because I haven't heard anybody ever talking about anything LGBT related in Forssa before, and just few weeks ago I saw my first female couple holding hands in Forssa. What a sheltered life I've led so far!
I want to thank Green Whale for sponsoring this event and bar 54 for hosting us. I was also promised that there would be Forssa Pride 4, so I'll see you next Spring! Before that I'll be at Lahti Pride, Gay Cafe will be marching there and some of us were thinking about staying for the after party.
You know, there's always room for improvement and we definitely have that in regards to attendance but as far as the program part of Forssa Pride 3 goes, I can't complain. It was everything I wanted it to be and more. I had no doubt that Rakel would deliver, she's a pro at this. She's funny, she's articulate and she was the perfect hostess for the event. I listened carefully when Leena won her Miss Gay Finland crown and her speech after winning was something I could identify with. She wants to have an impact on the same things I do. The one part that I wasn't familiar with was Aleks, but I was really impressed with him. Not a lot of 19-year olds have to do that much self reflection nor are they ready to take on the task of changing peoples perception or fight for human rights. Aleks was very mature and his attitude of "you have to take bad with the good" was really impressive. You can't take everything personally and that's something we should all remember. On top of them bringing their A-game, they were all really lovely people and weren't bothered with all the "Can I get a picture with you" questions they heard throughout the night. I think Aleks with his recent stint in the Celebrity Big Brother house was the biggest hit of the night.
Backstage beforehand.
Showtime!
Me with the stars of the night.
The intellectual discussion was something that you don't really get in Forssa, at least not in public, and makes me think about all the things I'm missing. Also, makes me sad that not more people were interested in coming to hear them, because there was a lot of things that could have opened peoples eyes and really make them think about things and their own resources to impact a change, whether in their own lives, in Forssa or even more nationally. Listening to that discussion and also the questions that were posed, made me appreciate my own Gay Cafe group and the "more than a rainbow" group I go to at Pirkanmaan Seta.
On Sunday I heard people I don't personally know talking about Forssa Pride for the first time. I thought it was great, because I haven't heard anybody ever talking about anything LGBT related in Forssa before, and just few weeks ago I saw my first female couple holding hands in Forssa. What a sheltered life I've led so far!
I want to thank Green Whale for sponsoring this event and bar 54 for hosting us. I was also promised that there would be Forssa Pride 4, so I'll see you next Spring! Before that I'll be at Lahti Pride, Gay Cafe will be marching there and some of us were thinking about staying for the after party.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
The irony
I think it's just swell how a year after (plus minus few days) I had to leave USA they passed marriage equality in the State of New York. Not that it would have helped me, but still. Then tomorrow, on the anniversary of being dumped it would be possible to get married in my home-state-away-from-home, New Jersey. And since DOMA is no longer in effect, this would actually help me.
I should probably send my application for the diversity visa lottery, because I'd probably get it too, now that it wouldn't matter at all anymore.
I should probably send my application for the diversity visa lottery, because I'd probably get it too, now that it wouldn't matter at all anymore.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Is it really tomorrow?
I can't believe my little chat with Leena before Helsinki Pride Parade resulted in Leena, Aleks and Rakel coming to Forssa tomorrow to headline Forssa Pride! How crazy is that? One day you're imagining this little gay party and then year from it you have some of the biggest lgbt names from Finland coming to your party because you asked them! Asked! That's how easy it was.
I'm once again so happy and humbled and amazed what you can do when you dare to dream.
I'll see see you at Forssa Pride tomorrow!
I'm once again so happy and humbled and amazed what you can do when you dare to dream.
I'll see see you at Forssa Pride tomorrow!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Feedback feels good
I sometimes feel like I live in a vacuum and don't really see the impact that my actions have. One of the biggest reasons for me leading Gay Cafe and organizing Forssa Pride is to create a Community for people around the area. Sometimes, especially when I was doing everything by myself and no one would show up, I felt like I'm living in this bubble and no one else is around. Why am I doing this again? Only gay in the village
Then we get to Forssa Pride and people are having fun, telling me they've had some much fun and how grateful they are that I've organized it. Same with recurring people at Gay Cafe, or new ones coming in and telling me they had so much fun. It feels amazing to hear that what I've created is helping others.
Last time at Gay Cafe I had invited a friend to lead the discussion, we had a 4 page spread in a local news paper to open the discussion about lgbt people as customers in social services and health care and I invited directors of social services from the 5 local municipalities and none of them showed up and only one had the decency to decline the invitation. Then today I found out that one has also been an active volunteer at FSMS but couldn't even bother to decline or reach out. I feel slighted but at the same time I realize how much this is needed. I won't give up.
I also need to learn not to take these things personally. It's hard, because they're things I've come up with, things I KNOW need improving, things I am doing to improve them and no one is listening. No one is paying attention. We're not important enough. Once again, we are invisible, and I feel it's ME that's invisible. And because I feel invisible here, it's sometimes hard to believe in the positive feedback I get from outside Forssa from people who are doing these things in areas where they have a big organization behind them with like-minded people helping them.
I love what I'm doing, at its best it's so rewarding and at its worst it's so frustrating. And this isn't even anything I get paid to do. I must really love it or be totally bat shit crazy!
Then we get to Forssa Pride and people are having fun, telling me they've had some much fun and how grateful they are that I've organized it. Same with recurring people at Gay Cafe, or new ones coming in and telling me they had so much fun. It feels amazing to hear that what I've created is helping others.
Last time at Gay Cafe I had invited a friend to lead the discussion, we had a 4 page spread in a local news paper to open the discussion about lgbt people as customers in social services and health care and I invited directors of social services from the 5 local municipalities and none of them showed up and only one had the decency to decline the invitation. Then today I found out that one has also been an active volunteer at FSMS but couldn't even bother to decline or reach out. I feel slighted but at the same time I realize how much this is needed. I won't give up.
I also need to learn not to take these things personally. It's hard, because they're things I've come up with, things I KNOW need improving, things I am doing to improve them and no one is listening. No one is paying attention. We're not important enough. Once again, we are invisible, and I feel it's ME that's invisible. And because I feel invisible here, it's sometimes hard to believe in the positive feedback I get from outside Forssa from people who are doing these things in areas where they have a big organization behind them with like-minded people helping them.
I love what I'm doing, at its best it's so rewarding and at its worst it's so frustrating. And this isn't even anything I get paid to do. I must really love it or be totally bat shit crazy!
Saturday, September 21, 2013
It's that time again
So, in case you didn't know, it's the time of the year again when Forssa Pride Party is fast approaching and Eino has, once again, made a fabulous poster for the party. It'll be all over Southern Finland in no time. He also made a badge model for it, which I turned into a t-shirt, which you can buy from here.
And here is the poster in all of its glory!
Our Facebook events page can be found here.
I hope to see many of you there, it's going to be amazing time! We are excited!
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