Ah, bureaucracy how I love thee

WARNING! Few curse words might be detected!

So...I'm still unemployed and as such I am qualified to apply for unemployment benefits from Finland, now that I'm actually IN Finland. The process is as follows: You go to the local (un)employment agency, either in person or online, and register as unemployed job seeker. Did that yesterday. Then you go over to get an official statement saying that you qualify to apply for unemployment. After that you apply in another agency for the benefits...

I went to the local unemployment agency today to get my statement. I was assisted by this woman who was so fed up with her job and had absolutely no interest. This is how the conversation went.
Me: graduated from MSU 2009...student visa granted 1 year of practical training which I was unable to find....been looking for a job since May 2009...was not under US social security....only allowed to work in my filed of study....

She looks at my information that I submitted yesterday. You're still part of the Engineering Union unemployment fund? No. What is your profession? I guess I'd be an Environmental Engineer. You are looking in the environmental field I see? Yes. Would you be willing to do other jobs? I guess I would. Have you considered more education? NO, I JUST GRADUATED WITH A MASTERS A YEAR AGO, I HAVE LOANS AND BILLS TO PAY!

Are you fucking kidding me???? more education? What am I supposed to do, go a to a frigging secretary school or something?


Then we get to the part of discussing my job search while in USA... she proceeds to tell me that I will be facing a 2 month wait on my unemployment benefits since I cannot proof that I was job searching while there. I asked her how am I supposed to proof that? as far as I understand I was not allowed to register in a local governmental/state unemployment agency just because I was not under their social security and I was not allowed to do just any job...I was there on a student visa and under the regulation I am not supposed to be a burden to the US. And I bet if would have frustrated the hell out of me! I said I had been job searching full time but from job sites and through my networking... apparently that's not enough because I have no official letter proving anything! Then she asks me if I have had a child during the past year because that way I could proof that I was not able to work! What an ASSHOLE! First of all, they don't have 9 month maternity leave like we do so having a child doesn't proof anything. Second of all, are you gonna make me feel bad about not foreseeing this and not having a child just so that I can proof something to you and your stupid rules? F U!

I need to come up with a letter from my former boss at MSU stating my employment time, duties, salary, hours, reason for terminating my employment etc...then I need to get a letter from the school stating that I studied and graduated there.

I also did my unemployment benefit application on the website of this other agency...after all the questions that I answered I still need to get a letter from my school stating the hours I worked per week and how much I earned each week from the year that I worked for MSU global ed. so I sent a letter to the payroll person who I dealt with while there. I have a feeling he is so busy that he won't have time to do this for me. And this information needs to be at the agency by the end of the month.

I have a meeting with the unemployment agency next Wednesday the 25th so I hope my former boss and the advisor have sent me the letters by then.

Bureaucracy...what a beautiful thing. I am gonna plead my case with everybody because there's nothing I can do about immigration regulations... Some things should be evaluated case-by-case basis. Right now it would be easier if I could just find a job and not have to worry about this bullshit. Nothing is ever easy.

UPDATE: My former boss at MSU said she will write me this letter. Payroll on the other hand...I sent him a letter telling him I was an international student at MSU between May 2008 and May 2009 and that I was applying for unemployment benefits from MY HOME COUNTRY. Gave him all the information needed in the letter...he forwards the e-mail to his colleague who sent me an e-mail: As a student worker at MSU you are not eligible for unemployment benefits. I KNOW! I am NOt applying for american benefits though am I?!?!?! How about you READ the e-mail before you answer...

I need a drink!

Hakkapeliitta weekend

Old fashioned coffee cart


My mom's booth

Started to write this at the beginning of August, it's now September 15...

before I go all into detail about this weekend I should probably explain the terms and situation... Hakkapeliitta is the term for the Finnish men who fought for Sweden in the 1700's. Every year the first weekend of August there's an event in Tammela (small town in Finland) to commemorate those people. The market place is basically tranferred into the 1700's, people come from all over the area dressed in the clothes from that era, selling goods and foods from that era. there's a king and queen who are very well dressed and their court and they ride their horse carriage, wave and talk to the everyday folk and greet their underlings...the food is amazing and you could spend a small fortune buying some of this stuff. It's all quality goods and most people have made their products themselves so everyone takes good care and pride of it all. So keeping that in mind...

My stepdad Ybi has sold his art there for the past 20 or so years. He's part of the organizing committee and does all the posters and advertising pictures of the events. Most if not all people associated with the organizing are volunteers and it could not survive without their work. I don't think anybody is getting paid for this and it's a lot of work to get everything together. My mom started her business last year (upholstery, repairs, curtains etc) and she just got her own trademark/logo about a month ago so she has been making handbags, shopping bags, maternity bags, gym bags etc to sell there. I am not into the brand name american bags that everybody is raving about in america, but I could have a bag for everyday of the week from my moms collection. I'm not a girly girl so these are perfect for me. Anyway...This is a 2 day affair and both My mom Marja and Ybi had their own booths there. As part of being in the organizing committee Ybi was one of the 3 judges who gave out the "best booth award" so while he was looking at the booths I was covering for him. And from his booth I went to my moms. Felt like by-polar...one minute I'm an artist and the next an artisan. It was hot as hell this weekend and we needed to dress the part so it was even hotter.

There were a lot of people there and I saw some people I went to school with but haven't seen in ages...saw some people from my former job, relatives...My Aunt Minna had her own booth as well. She does animals from wool, she felts them (I didn't know what the word was so I used an online dictionary...which I have told many people NOT to use...so if this is not the real term, my apologies. Felt is the name of the material...it would be huopa in Finnish). She once made a cat for Tiffany from a picture of Sox I showed her...

I saw a lot of old classmates from all the levels of school. People I haven't met in years, people I've lost touch with and people I only talk to on Facebook, if even there. Lot of people came over to talk to me, ask me about my life and catch up in general...Afterwards I got few fb friend requests which obviously let me to see their profiles. There must be something in the water since I feel like EVERYBODY either has kids or is pregnant. And it's not just 1 kid, it seems like it's 3! They have their houses, husbands/wives, kids and most importantly, A LIFE. Which seems to be just outside my reach. I turned 30 few weeks ago and for a long time I have been ready to settle down, get married or civil unioned or whatever the governments give us and have kids, a house, mortgage, bills etc with Tiffany. It just won't happen. I failed to get a job from US which is why we are living separate right now...I've so far failed to get a job in Finland which is why I'm living in my moms living room... not exactly the way I pictured my life at 30.

I have some issues I need to talk about so I will finish this post and go on to the next.

Proposition 8

So I just read that Prop. 8 has been overturned by a federal judge. For those of you who don't know what it means...few years back California approved same sex marriage. People got married and were happy only to have the religious right (the republicans) to get it into a vote by the californians and for them to decide whether gay marriage should be approved or not...well they decided that it was not ok for the gay californians to marry so it was overturned. A Couple of gay guys who got married while it was still legal sued and the judge now ruled that the the law was unconstitutional...Awesome news!

Why I am not overly joyed right now is because all though it's great news and a nice first step, it can still be overturned...again. And even if it wasn't, it still doesn't help me and Tiffany. It's a step to the right direction but we're still so far away from a situation where me and Tiffany can breathe easy. What we need to happen is for this immigration reform that's being suggested to include same sex couples the right to sponsor their foreign partner so that situations that we now are in won't have to happen again. No couple should have to face the choice between their home country and their spouse. No couple should face the situation where one of you needs to leave because staying would be violating the law. No couple should face the situation of a long distance relationship unless they want to.

Now I know my particular situation isn't the most extreme or heartbreaking or dangerous. I'm not facing jail time, persecution or hardship because I'm gay in Finland. Hell, I could "marry" Tiffany and get her here in a second. The fact is, for financial reasons and for career reasons, it would be easier for the both of us to live in the States. I will never be able to make as much money here as I would there. It would be harder for Tiffany to be here since she doesn't speak the language and let's face it, Finnish is not exactly the easiest to learn. It's not just about money though...In my chosen field I could make a lot of money if I wanted to (and if someone would hire me) but I wouldn't mind working in some other field, doing something else either. The fact is, the law that prevents Tiffany from marrying/sponsoring me also prevents me from working in any other field than environmental. They do not make it easy...

Now my straight friends...can you tell me how my right to marry Tiffany and legally call her my wife/spouse affects your relationship? Your marriage? Your potential to find a spouse? Your divorce? Your ability have children? The way I see it is that what happens in my house or in my bedroom is my business and not yours...and what happens in your house or your bedroom is yours. How is cheating on your spouse keeping the "sanctity" of marriage in tact? How does a divorce fare with the sanctity of marriage? How does you marrying multiple times and getting multiple divorces go with the sanctity of marriage? As long as the marriage included one man and one woman it is ok to beat, cheat, ignore and divorce and remarry? It was between a man and a woman so it is ok? Please check the divorce rates of the western "civilization". Half if not more marriages these days ends up in a divorce. Those are all your numbers. I'm not included. I'm not making your precious marriage/divorce numbers any uglier. I can't. You won't let me. So enjoy that probability my friend. 50-50.

Finland is talking about "sex neutral marriage law" or something to that affect. Right now same sex couples have the right to marry or register their relationship but cannot adopt. There are few other issues that do not make the marriages equal but I cannot remember them all. This new law would give everybody the same rights and would also take the words man and a woman from the description of marriage. I am not gonna get all emotional about this just yet because right now the most important part of my ability to marry Tiffany is the fact that I could get her here, get her a permanent residency and get her permission to work and study. And it would be fairly simple process, not expensive nor time consuming. But if the situation would arise where we need to stay in Finland, I would very much like for us to have joint custody of our future children and if anything happened to either one of us, for the other one not having to worry about custody or lack thereof.

I'm done now...It's late and I'm getting tired. Tomorrow I have a date with 6 kittens so I need to be awake for that! A friend of mine is fostering a mama cat and her kittens and since I don't have daily interaction with cats anymore, I am going to get my kitty cat loving from these kittens.

Good night. I'm out!

Quality time with my brother

So yesterday Arttu took me to see Inception and afterwards we went to the roof terrace/ katto terassi for drinks. The movie was kinda weird, I think after seeing shutter Island it kind of followed on that path... Movie itself was ok but nothing that I would like to or need to see again. One thing that caught my eye and that wasn't necessarily what I needed to see in my current state of mind was the fact that one of the characters was seeing a "reflection" of his now dead wife...and he was actively looking to see her and tried to find her.

Afterwards we went for drinks and had a chance to really catch up and talk about things. It's amazing to get to know your brother little better. He's 10 years younger than me so we haven't ever really had the same interests or hobbies or friends so now being able to hear my grown up brother talk and tell me how he feels about a certain things is great. However long my stay here is this is one thing I will enjoy; to get to know my brother. We will try to make this a regular thing...I just need to find a job/ win the lottery so that I can pay for it!

The past few weeks have been really hot in Finland and it seems like I brought a little bit of extra with me as Thursday was the hottest day in the Finnish recorded history...37,5degree Celcius/ 99 degree F! Almost broke that 100...It's not humid here so it doesn't feel as bad as it does in NYC but it's not like you enjoy being outside either. I tried sitting outside drinking coffee but came inside after few minutes. Now it's back to normal, nice and sunny but not too hot.

I have been enjoying almost all the foods that I missed while in the States. On my first day here my mom bought salmon and made gravlox...I can still taste it in my mouth...so GOOD! And on top of rye bread...yummy! I have definitely had my share of rye bread...I've had my favorite salmiakki, had a good czech sauna beer, had some chocolate, had not so healthy food from grill, went to hese for fries and mayo...yum! I still need to get my fave yogurt and go get some ice cream but right now I'm just enjoying my mom's cooking.

Hope to have some positive news next week...I'll be back.
Later

New day, new place

As you can see there has been a lot of changes happening, both in my life and this blog...I will try to update the pictures of Carly, Sox and Bailey and add Adriana. I am now in Finland so the blog name had to change. The background disappeared so I had to change that too.

I've now been to Finland for 3 days and miss Tiffany like crazy. We haven't really had a chance to talk to each other all that much because I have been suffering from jetlag and we now have 7h time difference. I and we had mastered that before I moved to USA so I'm sure we will again but for right now trying to figure out her schedule during the day/night is difficult. And since she's working it's not like I will just pick up the phone and call her and we can chat for as long as we want to...she actually has to work! Sucks when that happens. And we keep missing each other on all the instant messaging systems so it sucks even more. We're trying to catch each other...

Being back home has definitely been a little culture shock. There are no people here. Brooklyn was never quiet, there was always people around and the streets were buzzing...not to mention the highway under our window. There is a random car on the street every once in awhile but that's it. I went to pick up Arttu from the train station today at 7pm and there were no people to be seen. Few cars here and there but overall very quiet and peaceful. Not at all what I'm used to on a Friday night. Speaking of my little brother...he came home from the army today and was wearing his army clothes...I had to take a picture. Last time I saw him he was little scrawnier and had a long black/dark hair. Now he has short hair and he's gained some muscle.




Tomorrow we are having some quality brother/sister time. He's taking me to the movies to see Inception and afterwards for drinks. He also gave me his wireless internet connection stick so that I don't have to rely on Ybi's computer but I can use my own...This means I can skype Tiffany in the middle of (my) night when I can't sleep without having to get up and go to the other room.

I also wanted to post a picture of Arttu from when he was a baby when he was making faces after tasting sour candy but don't feel like scanning it right now (requires getting up, moving to another room and starting another computer) and the picture that I took of the picture doesn't look right. Next time.

I'm getting tired now so I am gonna go. I will be blogging soon though...Later.

If I get a doctor's note, can I stay here?

So I'm wondering if I get a Doctor's note saying I'm too sick to travel, can I stay here? Probably not but it's probably worth a shot... If this is how my body takes on saying good bye to Tiffany's family, I wonder if I'll be in the hospital for saying good bye to Tiffany!

This past weekend was my last one up by Tiffany's family. We drove up on Friday night and stayed at Johnny and JoeAnn's or as it will be known from now on, at Adriana's. They're not taking Adriana to see people just yet because she hasn't had her vaccinations so they were not able to come to the bbq on Saturday. We stayed up past midnight, had a few drinks and talked.

On Saturday we had breakfast at Adriana's, went to the pond to swim with Carly, enjoyed some sun, went back to see Adriana with Celeste who hadn't seen her before and then headed to Billy and Amanda's for the bbq. It was just us, Tiffany's mom, Billy, Amanda and Carly, Erin, her new bf Brad (who will start studying for his architecture degree and knew 2 Finnish architects), Jane and Celeste. We had good time, had some drinks, good food and when it was time to leave I was fine until Erin started crying and then I lost it.

On Sunday we had breakfast with Billy, Amanda, Carly and Tiffany's dad, went to see Adriana one more time and got home later than we wanted to. After few hours at home I started to feel like crap. Achy, cold, was coughing and just felt like I was getting the flu. I'm still achy and feel out-of-breath but other than that I'm fine.

I have a project I need to be working on as well as going through my stuff to figure out what to take to Finland, what to leave here and what to throw away...and pack as much stuff I can so that if I'm not coming back till next year and Tiffany needs to move before that, she doesn't need to pack my stuff. I also need to get some WII time in as well as quality time with the cats. They won;t be getting too much sleep during the day this week because I'm constantly waking them up. There's plenty of time to sleep next week!

Look for more health updates later this week/early next week to see how this move is affecting me. It's total bullshit that I need to go back home and leave Tiffany behind when there are thousands of straight couples who can get married and sponsor their spouses to stay but we need to be separated because of this stupid immigration law that is totally FUCKED UP!!!

Talk to you later or see you in Finland.

Paging my life...has anyone seen it?

So in 2 weeks I will board a plane to Finland. Just for a month or 2 or so, we hope. In case you haven't heard, I found a job. I cannot tell you the specifics because nothing is certain but if they can find funding for this project, I will have a job. I had an "interview" with my future boss few weeks ago and he told me all this. Since then he has had meeting with the people who would fund it but it's all still up in the air. So that means my job is also up in the air. And that means my and Tiffany's life together is also up in the air. It's all basically out of my hands at this point. I am forced to leave my life, my girlfriend and my cats behind because my visa expired and finding a job in this economy is like finding a needle in a haystack. Impossible. And that's the only way I can stay here. Find a job that's willing to shell out few thousand dollars for my work visa.

I would laugh if I had the energy. Were we a straight couple we could get married and Tiffany could just sponsor my visa. Were I a person who wouldn't mind staying here illegally and just working under the table I could do that. But I want a life together with my loved one, I want to settle down, have a house, have a job that I like (and pays well) and maybe start a family without the fear of someday immigration knocking on my door and deporting me. Is that too much to ask? Just your basic wants that everybody has... but no, I will need to leave my partner and leave.

So right now my life is being taken away from me. I'm gonna leave everything I've built here for the past 3 years to go back home. Tiffany, Sox and Bailey, Carly, Adriana, our new niece, rest of Tiffany's family and our friends... Even though I do think this job will eventually come through in the meantime I'll be in limbo at home. Not knowing when exactly I'll be back. And it sucks.