Adulthood

I think I'm in the middle of that 30's crisis, kolmenkympin kriisi as we say in Finland. I woke up one day, I was 30, that dreaded 30, and I was living in my mom's living room. No job, no money, girlfriend and kitties at the other side of the bond...how did this happen?

I remember when I was in first grade and I used to walk across the town after school to go play with Riina. We had been best friends since we were 2 and played together every day in kindergarden. But we lived at the opposite ends of the town so we went to different schools. After school I would walk to her home and we'd play till it was dark and Ybi would take me home or my mom would come pick me up. I doubt kids do that anymore...walk across town to play with friends. Times have changed and people have gone meaner, crazier, madder. It's not safe like that anymore.

I lived through a fairytale. My mom married the dad of my best friend and we became sisters, or step sisters. Isn't that everybody's dream when they are kids? To have your best friend become your sister? Well, like most fairytales, that became a nightmare. She became...not my best friend to the point where I don't necessarily wanna have anything to do with her anymore. I don't have energy for that drama.

I remember as a kid being care free, coming home from school, playing outside with my friends till it got dark outside, doing home work, going to bed and doing the same thing all over a gain the next day...and the next. When did that care freeness stop? As a teenager you wanna turn 18 so that you can go to bars, buy alcohol and "grow up". At 19, when you graduate from high school, you just wanna go to school, get your own place and be independent. You figure you'll graduate, get a job, meet someone, get a house, settle down, start a family.

I spoke with a dear old friend, Iita, yesterday. She helped me through some pretty rough times 6 years ago. We've lost contact during the past 3 years, mostly due to distance, but probably because of general laziness too. That's my reason anyway. We were catching up and talking about our lives...She asked a valid question...When does the real adulthood start? The one where we have great jobs, great partners, great kids and everything is just honky dory? She's still in school but thought that she'd be graduated by now. I'm out of job trying to figure out where to go next...

Are we ever gonna have that one true moment of total bliss where everything is just the way we want to? Or is that an illusion? Are we ever truly be able to appreciate what we have right there and then, in that moment, or will we always have something that we aspire to achieve, gain, reach? I know I cannot go back in time and whatever happens in the future is going to be different and hopefully even better but was I ever truly appreciative of the time I was able to spent with Tiffany or will I always think of it as something that was taken away from me? This time apart will hopefully make us stronger as individuals and as a couple, but right now it does seem like a cruel joke to me. I guess life's cruel jokes are a part of adulthood. So welcome to adulthood Jenni? You'll be stronger for it?

Spoiled apetite

So I had some business in the city today, or not to confuse anyone, at the town center. After I took care of it, I went to Hese to have fries. As I'm sitting there eating, this guy sits down the next table facing me and I realize it's the guy who used to stand in his window naked showing his jewels to the kids who were going to school when we were kids. His house was on the way to my elementary school and during my 5th or 6th grade he used to be there when we were coming home from school. He was about 3 years older than we and at that point went to a different school. We told our teacher, the schools principal and they called the cops. We identified him from old school pictures but beyond that I'm not sure what they did to him.

These days he looks like a sad old, lonely... person. I see him at the basketball games, he's been a fan of FoKoPo since I can remember. Other than that, thankfully I don't see him. Definitely ruined my lunch though.

My love, my Pebl

It seems like the day of heartbreak might be a lot closer than I thought. For a 5 year old phone, my Pebl has been serving me well. There was a 3 year period that it was on the shelf because US phones don't have removable sim cards and I had to get a new phone there. My Pebl wasn't working with the american operators. For the past 2 months I have been happy to be back with my Pebl, but I've noticed it's not working the same anymore. My baby's sick, it doesn't have the energy it used to... and I doubt I can find a new battery for it anymore. Motorola has probably forgotten about my Pebl already... and I have a feeling that a new phone might be cheaper than buying spare parts for Pebl.

About an hour ago a seller from Saunanlahti, a rival cell phone provider to my sonera called me and was trying to lower my bills...she asked me what my monthly cell phone bills has been...I told her for the past 2 months it's been about 8 euros...and she wanted to lower even that! I doubt lady, but nice try! I have been very happy with my cell phone provider and I have been with them for over 10 years...my monthly phone bills has been 2 euros for my entire stay in USA and I have had the same number forever. I can count on my phone working abroad. I am not about to change it and you never know where I will be in few months so no thank you. I told her that much, said good by and hang up. I closed my phone (it's a flip phone) and noticed that the number was visible on the outside screen. It should have gone away after few seconds. I thought maybe the call was still on and for some reason my phone hadn't actually hung up on her. I opened the flip again and nothing!!! It was dead! I closed it again and the number was still showing. I opened it again and finally the wall paper came back! boy was I scared! Kinda felt like by not changing my providers they shut down my phone. They killed Pebl! Now I feel it will be only a matter of time before Pebl will die in its sleep. It'll be a sad day but eventually I'll get over it.

For an older phone, Pebl has been great. It communicates well with my MAC, I can connect it to it via bluetooth. I can transfer pictured I took with my phone to my computer and I could transfer music and pictured to my phone if it had just a teeny tiny bigger of a memory... I think time has past on Pebl but right now I just can't upgrade. One other thing to add to my growing list of things to buy when I get a job.

Will keep you posted. Later

New business cards

Since I'm in Finland now I thought I should update my business cards so that my information is actually correct. You can order free business cards from Vista print and just pay the shipping and handling. That's what I did in USA after my professor told me they would come in handy, you don't necessarily have your resume with you at all time (you NEVER have your resume with you unless you're going to a job interview or a recruiting/job fair) but you always have room in your wallet/bag for few business cards and you never know when you meet up with a potential contact/employer and giving them your card is a great way to be remembered. It's a very useful tool in job hunting.

The selection for the free cards is a little smaller here than it was in USA and I am not as excited about my cards as I was with the first one but having old information with a phone number that doesn't work right now would probably be counterproductive! So I used one of their designs, put my Finnish info in there, pressed "order" and then realized I probably should have added my american number just in case...that way I could have used it both in Finland in the US. Well, you live and you learn. Next time.

I've noticed that there is a difference with the finnish way of communication vs. american. Finns don't really leave voicemails as americans usually do. That way you'll know whether the call was really important and needs to be returned ASAP or if it can wait. We either think that they will call back when they see who the caller was or as a receiver, if it was important the caller will call again. I'm a fan of the american way. Part of the reason why we don;t leave voicemails might be because it's not a standard service and not everybody has it.

Finns are also slower to reply to text messages/e-mails. I feel that I'm in the middle of the american vs. Finnish as in america I could be taken as being rude where I don't necessarily call/text right back and when I say bye on texts, I don't go back and forth time and again. When I'm in Finland I expect people to reply to my calls relatively soon and text me back right away...and when they don't I feel like they are ignoring me. I think with the mergence of iPhones and other smart phones with their applications and music players in the USA, people carry their phones everywhere with them and are in a position to reply right away. Most people in Finland have your basic Nokia that just texts and calls and it is not carried at all times. My pebl, as awesome as it was 5 years ago when I bought it, does not have any apps, doesn't play music and can't be used for playing games. I also receive so few calls and texts that half the time I forget I even have a phone and don't necessarily have it with me at all times. Since my MAC acts as my phone when I call Tiffany via Skype, I don't need my phone for that. I've also noticed that the battery life isn't what it used to and after 20 minute phone call the battery is pretty much dead. Even though Pebl was the greatest phone ever created and is my 4th love of life, I think after my first paycheck it might be time to upgrade. It'll be a sad day but I will need to deal.

Even though my once possible future boss does not want to reply to my e-mails anymore, americans usually reply quickly, even if it's just to say I got your e-mail and will get back to you shortly. Finns reply when they want to. We're slower like that.

More next time. Later

What politicians and athletes have in common?

Ever since I came back to Finland I have been fortunate enough to be able to follow the politics and election campaign of a girl from my home town. She is a candidate here even though she hasn't lived here in about 10 years. She's never been part of the local politics and hasn't served in the town council. I believe her only political experience is from being the chair person of the high school students union back in the day (about 8-10 years ago). Now she is the press assistant for the foreign minister of Finland...which I guess qualifies her to be an elected member of the finnish parliament.

Finland was announced to be the best place to live on earth/world's greatest country whatever whatever on Newsweek few weeks ago. It is based on the education, corruption or lack thereof, political stability and something else... I'm just gonna focus on the no corruption/transparency. We have the most honest politicians around, am I right? Since my arrival 2 months ago we have changed prime minister because he's suspected of being biased on giving out government money to an organization which gave him money for his campaign... that obviously isn't the official reason he left but he gave up his status as prime minister and is now being investigated. A MP from a nearby town was suspected of bribery which just this morning he was cleared, or should I say, the charges were dropped. He was speeding and when pulled over suggested to the cop that they should go get some coffee...major crime, I know, but the cop and the police force took it as a bribery attempt and charged him for it. I hope the number of times I've suggested a cup of coffee to someone isn't gonna come back to haunt me in the future! Now a minister is asked to provide information on her family member owning shares of a mining company. I did not read the article further as it's just gonna infuriate me. In the past few months few other MP's have been suspected of taking money from someone and either not reporting it or the organizations reputation being less than stellar.

This "local" wanna-be politician has been to every possible kissanristiäinen/ cat babtism (that's what we call all the small happenings where the local "cream" gather, where you can get your face seen, meet possible voters, an experience that you just have to have like the opening of the new shopping center, that in the grand scheme of things are not important happenings at all) there is on this area this summer. She has kick started her campaign with a bam. Some people here seem to think that it will bite her in the ass in the end, and I tend to agree. When it's time to vote, people around here have seen so much of her that they don't wanna have anything to do with her anymore. As for me...she represents a party that I would never ever vote for. This situation kind of reminds me of a conversation I had with my Aunt Minna few weeks ago. She told me they had been looking for a person to take care of kids at the kindergarden she works for...and one of the most outrageous applications said that the reason they could do the job was because she had been watching the people who take care of kids at their homes at the park/playground and it didn't look so difficult. No formal education to take care of kids. It's kinda like by working for a minister makes this girl qualified for being a MP. I'm not necessarily saying that she would be bad at it and there really isn't any "qualifications" to meet but to command respect and some kind of authority, I would like her to have some actual political experience, and more so, from Forssa. The only reason she can't do that is because she lives in Helsinki and to be a member of the town council, you NEED to live in that city. So if you can be a candidate here but live in Helsinki, why can't I vote for a candidate who is listed in Helsinki? Fair, I think.

Why I think politicians and athletes are the same? Majority of them are dirty. Maybe not even a majority but they always get caught. I think doping should be allowed in sports just so that the playing field would be even for all. If you think that running a 100m faster than anyone else is so important that it justifies having your balls shrink in a few years time and not being able to have kids, and having major mood swings and becoming violent is worth it, I say go for it! If having a brain aneurism is worth few years at the top of the sports world, be my guest. I would say that lets have the doping olympics and clean olympics but there would always be athletes at the clean olympics who would try to pass as clean but really weren't. What's the point of being clean when Marion Jones won the 100m + other events at the Sydney olympics only to get caught and confess few years later, for the gold medal to be awarded for a greek athlete who later herself got caught for using? Seems like plain old hard work doesn't really get you anywhere. Is few gold medals worth it when you start growing a beard? Even though your a woman? and having your breasts shrink? Your voice lower? Start looking like a man? I guess I cannot understand the appeal as I was never in a position to become a world class athlete. Thanks for that!

I guess the Finnish transparency is working as all these politicians are getting caught and investigated. I don't think it necessarily does any good for the Finnish reputation that we still do have these people who are willing to take campaign money from people and organizations that are less that reputable. Why don't we just open up the campaign funding to any and everybody? You be as blatantly biased as you wish and take money from whom ever. Vote for the things that your funders deem important and the hell with your voters! Let's all get connected!

Later peeps!

Sense of humor and how important it is

I read an article on Iltasanomat today about a british woman who had suffered from migraines all her life. One night she went to bed after having a migraine only to wake up with a french accent! She said that she had to quit her job in sales because it was hard speaking with the accent and that she feels like she has lost a part of herself. According to the article she has also lost few words, such as a, of and to. But she did say that even though she lost her personality, identity and her own voice, she still has her sense of humor! BAM! There you go french people, no sense of humor...or so I would read it! ;-)

It is very important quality to have...even if other people wouldn't understand your humor, as long as you can find things to laugh about, you're golden. It is not always easy though. Being miles, hours and hundreds of dollars/euros away from your loved one(s), what is there to laugh about? No job and no money equals tough times. It's not easy to feel good about yourself when you don;t get that outside validation...staying home with nothing but job hunting to do gets daunting, boring, exhausting. Doing that for a year and a half...you try it. I don't recommend it. Where is that one letter, e-mail or phone call that will say YES, we will be happy to have you?

So I try to laugh... I laughed when I talked to Tiffany about baby names (her sister-in-laws brother's wife is having a baby today, the family whose kids I took care of for a while this year) and I asked her if she knew what the name was gonna be...she replied "it's gonna be a zoo". Of course that wasn't the answer to my question but for a second it seemed like it was. That made me laugh...and was told only me can come up with that!

I laughed when I saw this picture



It's a bear in a ZOO in Finland doing yoga! How cute is that? And funny? Maybe I should try it and see if it would help with my back? I was supposed to stretch whenever Bailey stretches but since I don't see Bailey every day anymore, I don't know exactly when she's stretching...Wasn't working even when I was but it was a good thought.

I laughed when I was going through job postings and saw that a bishop in Lapua was looking for a secretary. I asked my mom and Ybi if I should apply and they answered at the same time:YES! It was all joke of course...I don't think religious organizations would want to hire me...nor would I want to work for them so I guess we are even!

I also laughed when I read that Togo played a friendly against Bahrain last week...but it wasn't really Togo! How is it possible in this day and age with internet galore to not know which team you are playing and whether they are legit or no? As the president of the Togolese Football federation, when the international friendly list was published, didn't you pay attention to the part where Togo was mentioned to be playing in Bahrain? Maybe this should be used as an excuse for Finnish football too...it was NOT team Finland playing in Moldova and we don;t know who those players were. Ebven though it said "Litmanen" on number 10's back, I don't think it was him... and number 4, supposedly Hyypiä, was not him either...and as such shouldn't have been given a 1 game ban! So there, I solved it. The team representing Finland in the Euro qualifications really isn't Finland!

Maybe I will post more things to laugh about later on...maybe I won't. Later

Ah, bureaucracy how I love thee

WARNING! Few curse words might be detected!

So...I'm still unemployed and as such I am qualified to apply for unemployment benefits from Finland, now that I'm actually IN Finland. The process is as follows: You go to the local (un)employment agency, either in person or online, and register as unemployed job seeker. Did that yesterday. Then you go over to get an official statement saying that you qualify to apply for unemployment. After that you apply in another agency for the benefits...

I went to the local unemployment agency today to get my statement. I was assisted by this woman who was so fed up with her job and had absolutely no interest. This is how the conversation went.
Me: graduated from MSU 2009...student visa granted 1 year of practical training which I was unable to find....been looking for a job since May 2009...was not under US social security....only allowed to work in my filed of study....

She looks at my information that I submitted yesterday. You're still part of the Engineering Union unemployment fund? No. What is your profession? I guess I'd be an Environmental Engineer. You are looking in the environmental field I see? Yes. Would you be willing to do other jobs? I guess I would. Have you considered more education? NO, I JUST GRADUATED WITH A MASTERS A YEAR AGO, I HAVE LOANS AND BILLS TO PAY!

Are you fucking kidding me???? more education? What am I supposed to do, go a to a frigging secretary school or something?


Then we get to the part of discussing my job search while in USA... she proceeds to tell me that I will be facing a 2 month wait on my unemployment benefits since I cannot proof that I was job searching while there. I asked her how am I supposed to proof that? as far as I understand I was not allowed to register in a local governmental/state unemployment agency just because I was not under their social security and I was not allowed to do just any job...I was there on a student visa and under the regulation I am not supposed to be a burden to the US. And I bet if would have frustrated the hell out of me! I said I had been job searching full time but from job sites and through my networking... apparently that's not enough because I have no official letter proving anything! Then she asks me if I have had a child during the past year because that way I could proof that I was not able to work! What an ASSHOLE! First of all, they don't have 9 month maternity leave like we do so having a child doesn't proof anything. Second of all, are you gonna make me feel bad about not foreseeing this and not having a child just so that I can proof something to you and your stupid rules? F U!

I need to come up with a letter from my former boss at MSU stating my employment time, duties, salary, hours, reason for terminating my employment etc...then I need to get a letter from the school stating that I studied and graduated there.

I also did my unemployment benefit application on the website of this other agency...after all the questions that I answered I still need to get a letter from my school stating the hours I worked per week and how much I earned each week from the year that I worked for MSU global ed. so I sent a letter to the payroll person who I dealt with while there. I have a feeling he is so busy that he won't have time to do this for me. And this information needs to be at the agency by the end of the month.

I have a meeting with the unemployment agency next Wednesday the 25th so I hope my former boss and the advisor have sent me the letters by then.

Bureaucracy...what a beautiful thing. I am gonna plead my case with everybody because there's nothing I can do about immigration regulations... Some things should be evaluated case-by-case basis. Right now it would be easier if I could just find a job and not have to worry about this bullshit. Nothing is ever easy.

UPDATE: My former boss at MSU said she will write me this letter. Payroll on the other hand...I sent him a letter telling him I was an international student at MSU between May 2008 and May 2009 and that I was applying for unemployment benefits from MY HOME COUNTRY. Gave him all the information needed in the letter...he forwards the e-mail to his colleague who sent me an e-mail: As a student worker at MSU you are not eligible for unemployment benefits. I KNOW! I am NOt applying for american benefits though am I?!?!?! How about you READ the e-mail before you answer...

I need a drink!