Well isn't this curious

I was just reading an article on Advocate.com about Miley Cyrus' new tattoo. She had posted a picture on Twitter with a title "all love is equal". Here's a link to her tweet. She took the equality sign on her ring finger... It's all great and dandy but then I saw the tattoo on her pinky.  Now I'm not sure when she took the heart there but all she needs now is a 3rd sign and we are tattoo twins!

Seriously...curious!

Dear Diary

I am staring at my diaries from my teenage years and I'm terrified.
I both want to read them and don't...
I'm afraid to read what I was feeling back then...
I'm afraid I'll flinch at what I've written...
I'm afraid of the blatantly obvious fact that I am SO GAY...
I'm afraid of the blatantly obvious fact that I was so IN DENIAL...

I'm terrified.

In some ways I get very bad moral hangovers. I do not forgive myself easily when it comes to doing stupid things. When I mess up. And unfortunately I do have regrets. I wouldn't be in this bad shape if I didn't have regrets. Right now there are things that I am trying to overcome, trying to figure out and in order to do that I need to read those diaries.

Scary.


Terrified!


P.S. Today would have been my dad's 61st birthday if he was still alive.

Football...the american kind

Let's just quickly talk about the fact that Nnamdi Asomugha is now an EAGLE!!!! Biggest free agent catch of this year? You betcha! Great great player? Absolutely? Great partner for Asante Samuel? YesSirreeee! I predict at least 7 interceptions for Eli Manning against Philly in the regular season...

I'm sad about the rumor(?) I read on Twitter about Steward Bradley being traded to Arizona though....he was my favorite on D. Boo!

Can't wait for both the real season and fantasy football as well! Let's go Gayliens!

Sox and Bailey

Hi, My name is Jenni and I'm a cat-a-holic! I fell in love with Sox and Bailey the minute I met them and had some great times with them. I miss them every day and I wish I could be in their lives. Intercontinental break ups just plain suck! Today is the 1 year anniversary of my arrival back to Finland. Time sure does fly when you are having...(enter whatever word you wish here).

It's been 366 days since the last time I saw my step cats and even though I can't see them or meow to them or tell them how much I love and miss them, I can put it out there to the universe. Maybe they'll get the signal. So this post will be for them. I hope they are doing well, are not having any health problems and when it is their time, they'll go peacefully in their sleep without any prolonged complications.

Sox pleasuring, I mean cleaning herself. 

When Donovan (the dog) was visiting, Sox and B wouldn't come further down. Sibling rivalry.

Bailey had the cutest face of any cat EVER. She looked like a kitten dressed up in a grown-up cat's fur.

Just look at that belly and tell me you don't wanna put your face in there and blow like what you do with babies? No? Just me then. I never did because I would be eyeless and maybe even headless...it was a rare occasion you got to touch B's stomach but when you did...it was furry kitty cat heaven on earth! Did I mention I have fat cat's belly-obsession?

When the other mommy wasn't home and Sox was in need of a cuddle, she would occasionally sit in my lap too. On those rare occasions I just had to take a picture because no one would believe me otherwise. Sox was momma's girl, through and through. She wasn't happy about all the pictures I took, which is evident in this pictures. Can we get this over with so I can get back to my nap?

Classic Sox. She loves to nap with her tongue out. This is another one of those get that camera and flash outta my face -moments!

Bailey was abused as a kitten and had trust issues. She wanted to be loved and wanted to be touched but she couldn't trust people (me and T) for more than few seconds at a time. This is one of those moments where she wants to be loved and is showing her cute cards. In those moments, do you capture that in a picture or scratch her stomach? 

Sox always thought she was a human. She loved taking a nap under the covers and her head on a pillow. 

Fat cats chillaxing.

Poor Sox had to have her tooth removed and so they put her under. This is what she looked like when we brought her back home from kitty cat dentist. She looks like a homeless person... err, kitty cat.

Same night, she's hungry. She's high, can you tell. Poor junkie.

Another cute moment from Bailey.

Sox was a David Beckham fan too. She was trying on my jersey. If I hadn't been told no, I would have tried to dress her up in it. Just for a minute, please???

I miss you and love you my furry girls.

Meow!

Promises, Promises...broken

I don't remember much about July 26th of last year.  But this is what I do remember. It's ALL I remember.

Get a job




Find a place




I'll follow you.

Taylor Swift & Colbie Caillat; Breathe

Affair to remember

I'm having an affair.
I'm cheating on my reality.
I've seen her twice.
I can't wait to spend more time with her.
But it's over.
Next year?
Next summer?
PRIDE.

There really are no words for the calm, excited feeling washing over me at Pride's. Going to Helsinki Pride was amazing and even though Tampere Pride was a smaller event in scale, there is nothing better than new friends and old friends and being able to just be yourself and not having to apologize for who you are. Just. be. yourself.

Saturday was amazing. I got to march on a float, have a picnic with great new friends, have drinks with and old but oh so dear friend, listen to Taylor Swift covers played acoustically...and just. be. me. What more can a girl ask for?

At the picnic we participated in a final thesis survey and as a result could participate in a raffle that gave out tickets to Gareth Gates' gig. I won, Ella won and Heidi got 2 chances to get it right. Since Minna was not there with us, she actually had to work, I went to the girl who gave out the tix and asked her if I could possibly get an extra one for our friend. She gave one to me. See, ask and you shall receive!

After the picnic I went to Saara's place to take a shower and change. Once again it was a hot and humid day. I had to get ready to have drinks with Susanna. It was so great to see her after all these years. We kind of picked up right where we left off. And we had a lot of catching up to do. I came out to her via text 5 years ago and we hadn't seen each other since so I wasn't exactly sure how she took it and how she'd handle it. But we had an interesting conversation about it.

She was like I knew way before you were a lesbian.
I was like You did? How?
She's like Remember when you asked me what me and Markus were to each other, if we were dating?
I'm like No...
She's like Well, you had me call him and ask him if we were dating right then and there.
I'm like I did? I don't remember...
She's like yeah, and after that you told me you don't know who you are...I knew then.
I'm like You did? Why didn't you say anything to me?
She's like I couldn't tell you. It wasn't my place.
I'm like But you could have! You could have saved me from so many mistakes...you could have saved me from sleeping with men!!!
And she's like I couldn't. And I also knew from how jealous you were of me.
I'm like Yeah, I was...I was so jealous of you...But I didn't have a crush on you...I don't have a feeling that I let anything slip by me, that there's anyone that I should have been with but didn't understand what I was feeling...But had I've been more aware of who and what I was, I could have been different. Sorry.

So my best friend knew 12 years ago...My mom said she asked me once, before I came out, if I was a lesbian and I denied it. And I guess in all honesty, if people would have told me I was a lesbian before I was ready, I probably would have disowned them. I wasn't ready to face it and I certainly wasn't ready to have people tell me or question me. And I would not be the ME I am today had things gone differently earlier so I guess I should thank Susanna for NOT saying anything to me. And I had the internal homophobe in me which would have denied it all and probably made even bigger mistakes in order to proof people wrong so...

We spent amazing 3 hours reminiscing about all the wonderful things we did in the past and promised to stay in touch. I think I got my friend back. (Insert huge grin here). The girls had changed the plans and instead of going to see Gareth Gates they just wanted to stay at YO-talo and see Stina Girs instead. I didn't know anything about her but I gotta say...thanks you girls for making this decision! She was playing Taylor Swift covers acoustically and I was in heaven. For the past few weeks all I've listened to is Taylor Swift and Colbie Caillat and as country is not really big in Finland, especially the pop country that T.S. plays, You don't have many chances to hear it. When Stina's CD comes out I might actually have to get it!

We left around 1:30-2am, I went to get some food and headed to bed. Eetu, Saara's cat was all kinds of wild throughout the night but he was so cute that you just can't be mad at him for more than a second. Having him pull out all his cute cards, one of witch is playing fetch, did nothing to squash my acute need/desire/want to get a cat.

Now I'm all kinds of shade of red as I might have forgot to put any sunscreen on...actually don't own any...and I burnt my shoulders and neck and my nose is red...maybe in few days I'll be 4 shades of darker-than-my-usual-white. Which will still be whiter than most people.

So...that was my perfect Saturday. Pictures to follow after Heidi sends me some of me and once I have time to upload mine to my computer.

Have a great week everyone!

New York, New York

Today's the first day that gay and lesbian New Yorkers can get married. I am so happy for everyone who can now realize their dreams and show to the world that their love and commitment to each other is worth celebrating for and enjoy their special day(s).

Isn't love grand?

Here's a song to celebrate all the marriages happening in NY right now from one of my new favorites, Colbie Caillat and "I do"