Christmas

This post might not make whole lot of sense so bare with me...

Christmas is my favorite holiday. I know it's a christian holiday and unfortunately the preaching increases during this time, whether on TV or on the streets. (I don't need to go to heaven right now, whatever and where ever that might be, and I definitely do not need a street man's approval for it. If you believe, fine, but leave me out.)

Since my family is not religious Christmas has never had religious meaning for us. It has always been about spending time with your loved ones, getting and receiving few presents, eating awesome holiday foods that you don't get the rest of the year and just enjoying the peace and quiet. It's a time to appreciate what you have.

I have not thought about x-mas or the presents I want or will give all that much this year because I don't have a lot of money to spend on them. I've had bigger things to worry about than presents and where to get the money for them. I just read an article which said something like "I worry that if I don't spend enough money someone will think I don't love them". That's how I feel right now. It's easy to explain to my mom my situation because she knows my situation. She told me point blank don't buy me a present. I feel bad that I can't and I feel even worse for not being able to get my brother anything. He's 19 but still...he's my baby brother.

We stopped getting present from our uncles and aunts when we were about 10. The amount of money people put into them was probably about 5 euros if even that. A lot of it was home made wool socks, scarfs or mittens and maybe candy. I think I spend about 50 euros on my family when I was still in Finland. I did not buy present to my friends and they didn't for me. It's not a custom we really have. I did not give presents for my aunts and uncles nor my grandparents. Every year on 25th or 26th we would go to my grandparents house to eat x-mas dinner together and to see the cousins we hadn't seen for awhile. It was awesome. Everybody together. X-mas eve, which is the day when Santa comes over, was just the immediate family. When me and Riina were too big to believe in Santa we dressed up as Elves and brought the presents for Arttu. He had to sing and dance for us to get the presents. It was great. When we were kids we sat on Santa's lap, told him we had been good and sang and danced for him. He gave out the presents and moved on to the next house. Santa was usually either a family friend or hired Santa.

Christmas usually started with morning sauna, followed by breakfast which was rice porridge. There's an almond hidden in there and whoever gets it will receive good luck for the year. At 11 we would watch the snowman on TV, a British animation that we love. After that we would go to lit up candles on the graves of loved ones, come home for lunch, which was "lipeäkalakeitto", a type of fish soup. After that we'd be anxious for Santa to come while my mom finished cooking. Christmas dinner was usually around 6 followed by Santa/presents. For the rest of the night we would drink, watch movies or if you were Arttu, play video games. We might play board games as well.

The past 2 x-mases I have spent with Tiffany's family. It's a little different from what I'm used to. Last year, our first x-mas living together we gave out presents on 24th. I think as long as we spend Christmases with T's family, that will be how it goes. Tiffany's sister-in-law's parents have an annual x-mas eve party that we attend. After that we go to T's mom's, help her wrap her gifts to Billy, Johnny, Amanda, JoeAnn, Carly and everybody else who has been nice that year....well, I wrap the gifts, we drink eggnog and go to bed late. Then early the next morning we, me and T, drive up to her dad's house to exchange gifts with them and to see the girls open up theirs. We stay for few hours, then go back to T's mom's to exchange presents within the immediate family and to have breakfast. The first (my first) time around dinner was at Judy's but last year and again this year dinner will be at Johnny and JoeAnn's. It's the immediate family plus Judy's brother and sister, her mom and cousins...all together almost 20 people. After dinner it's time for presents...And almost everybody gives presents to everybody. It's great when you are in a position to do this but when not... not so much.

Us and Tiffany's brothers and their wives are doing secret Santa again this year. We picked out a name from a hat and buy a present only for that person. I got the guitar hero last year and was really happy with it. T got the WII fit and was happy with it. It saves us time and money and headache since we don't need to buy 4 presents and think about what to get for whom...Then there's the obvious...Carly! We had a great idea for her present and we think she's really gonna like it. Or so we hope. Then there's T's mom...Nana...T's little sisters and dad and his wife...Tiffany is taking care of all of this but I just wish I could help.

Then there's obviously Tiffany...there are thousand and one things I would love to get for her but can't. I hope she's not disappointed cuz it's definitely not gonna be the gift-fest it was last year and the year before. But at least we are together...that's what matters.

I wish people would just slow down and enjoy the holiday without the over-spending. Christmas has become so commercial it's ridiculous. The spending and receiving has overtaken the real meaning of being together as a family and enjoying the little things. Family, that's what it's all about. I will miss my mom, Arttu and Ybi this year but hopefully next year we could spend Christmas in Finland.

I was walking in the neighborhood yesterday and the amount of lights and decorations on people's yards were just crazy. I will go take pictures before Christmas and post them. It just seemed like the appearances are so important. You gotta spend money on lights and decorations or you're not a x-mas person. You gotta spend absurd amount on presents even if you don't have the money. It doesn't take a genius to figure out why there is a recession going on. The credit card debt people will be in on after Christmas...is it worth it? After knowing the financial situation people are in I wish they would not buy me presents. There are better ways to spend that money.

I understand that kids don't have any understanding of the value of money or how hard some people work for it but it doesn't make you really want to spend your money on kids that look at the presents they asked for and then say "are there more?" like happened last year with few. You spend your money, hard earned money for what? to see the present be thrown away and never to be seen again? I would be happy to agree with people that in order for us to love each other we don't need to buy presents for the sake of buying and receiving presents. You save your money and not get me something that you just bought for me for the sake of giving me a present. We can agree to save money, save paper and resources and room at the landfill by not buying presents. And if you absolutely HAVE to, buy me a service. I need to go back to the dentist. Give me money towards that or buy me an appointment. I need to have a haircut and dye soon...buy me an appointment or gift card toward that...You'll save resources, greenhouse gases and most importantly, you support someones job.

I know I just said that Christmas should be about family but somehow the money woes and not being able to buy presents takes over from the happy feeling. But I will try to focus on the fun part...spending time with people, late night eggnog and present wrapping session at Jude's and my little family Christmas with T and the cats.

Hope you have a Merry Christmas with the ones you love and get all the presents you want (and don't want)!

15 minutes of fame

Since I am not one of those people who want fame no matter what I can't say I understand what's going on in the heads of all these women who have decided to come out as Tiger Woods' secret lovers. Is it just me or is it kinda stupid and self-deprecating to be known as somebody's lover? To be known as a basically a home wrecker? What's up with that? I have no desire to be known in the media or be famous for anything as I hate any kind of limelight and don't want to celebrate myself so I cannot relate to people who want to be famous and for what? For sleeping with a married man! And I'm sorry to say this but unless they are coveting to become the next playboy bunny, there really isn't any career opportunities here or any human interest stories...who cares about you you-married-men-chasing-ho? Who cares about your education, or talents or what you have to offer after you come out on a national TV/tabloid and say "hey, I was one of the MANY who hooked up with Tiger Woods"... Is he gonna leave his wife for you after you spill the beans about him? NO...get a clue people... Is this gonna make your parents say "atta girl, I raised you right!" Is your best friend gonna leave her husband alone with you after you declare publicly that you sleep with married men? NO! Is it gonna make your life better by doing this? I don't think so... I would distance myself if one of my friends did this...not necessarily the company I'd want to keep.

I have no idea how many of these stories are actually true and how many are just reaching for their 15 minutes of fame but seriously? This is the way you want to be known? Does it matter that he has a wife and 2 small kids? Does it matter that Elin's probably hurting a lot by his betrayal and is alone in a foreign country? I guess not. I'm feeling for you Elin, I really am.

Since I did not do my thanksgiving post as I was supposed to, lets do it here a few weeks later. I have now been looking for a job for almost 7 months and for the exception of just one interview have had no bites. I don't get callbacks, I don't get interviews and as you can probably imagine, my self-esteem is pretty low. It's hard to believe that things will change for the better when nothing ever does. Now matter what I do it doesn't seem to matter. I'm still home, aren't I? I think I would have gone totally mad if there wasn't for the cats keeping me company and for a partner who believes in me and our future when my faith is faltering and who is willing and able to bare the burden of supporting our household while I'm unable. I just hope I will be able to do the same soon. So T, here's to you. I love you! I don't say it enough but I love you and really appreciate all you are doing for me and for us.

When I say that I would go crazy without the cats here T always says that they don't talk back. It's true, they don't talk, they yell. The minute the door closes and Tiffany leaves for work Sox is in my face yelling at me to get up and feed them. Sometimes she gives up and lays down but more often than not it's about how long I can last listening her...I'm wrapped around her paw, I know. It's sad really... but as far as having them as company during the day, I don;t know what I would do without them. They might not talk back to me but they do keep me company. Why do you think there are so many cat ladies out there? For the rosy smell of their poop? I don't think so!

I went to see the dentist, finally, yesterday after months of toothache. I knew I had 2 big cavities and possibly more smaller ones but since I don't have an insurance nor money I had put it off...On my walks to the farmers market I saw a dentistry with a sign"walk-ins welcome" so I walked in and asked for prices. Then I made the appointment and YAY, got to know what really is going on in my mouth. I told him I knew of 2 that needed to be taken care of asap because they ache when I drink cold or hot liquids, they really hurt when I eat because the food gets into the whole and then I spend as much time fishing the food out as I did eating...So I had root canal done yesterday. Awesome. One of them was so bad that that was the only option. 400 bucks for that? Do I look like I have 400 bucks? 150 per tooth/cavity for big ones and 75 for the smaller ones. So I had 6 cavities...Before he saw the x-rays he told me that 3 are big and need to be taken care of soon...so he estimated that to be 450 bucks and 3 smaller ones 75/pop. so I was looking at little less than 700 bucks...and then to add the root canal, all together almost 1000...I need a job people!!! Or a lottery win... Donations accepted now...donations accepted now.

So I had a root canal done yesterday and then next Tuesday he will fix the other one. He gave me a prescription for antibiotics to make sure there won;t be any infections and one for painkillers. 600mg of ibuprofen...yeah, I don't really respond to ibuprofen. I don;t wanna become an addict or anything but I think at some point in the future when I am in a lot of pain I should try the hard stuff. These do absolutely nothing for me and it's awesome to realize this AFTER I have already taken 1200mg since then it becomes impossible and dangerous to try anything else. I should have remembered this when he was writing the prescription. My foot pain last year didn't respond to these mild pills either. Although for the foot I was given something supposedly stronger which did nothing for me but helps T with her cramps so I gave them to her. My pain is incurable. And my cheek/gum/tooth is throbbing. Dentist said that was to be expected which is why he gave me pain meds but I am having trouble locating the pain. I feel that it's in my tooth but he said the gum will be sore after the screws and stuff that were there. So who knows. I'll give it few days and see what happens. The local anesthesia was awesome though, I did not feel a thing. When I came home I had to drink a little OJ cuz I hadn't eaten anything for awhile and had to get my blood sugar up but it was interesting because I was numb on my upper left side and lower right side and couldn't feel my lips so I couldn't feel the juice there either. I felt like my face was twice the size. I wouldn't mind that anesthesia...

Anyway...it's monsooning here and blizzarding,or if that's not a word, snowing like crazy in the Midwest. We'll see if that comes our way later this week. It was snowing like crazy at T's moms on Saturday when we left but was just rain here in Brooklyn. Gonna be fun (or not) when it snows here and I have to go move the car on alternative parking days. I was already dreading the duty for today with the monsoon rain but then realized today is only Wednesday and I don't need to move the car till either Thursday or on Friday if I am going to grocery store then.

Off to job search I go. Later peeps!

Weird week

I'm home fighting a cold (what else is new, the home part, not the cold) and listening to the music/vibrations coming from downstairs. It's amazing what an assholes are in the world and how unaware they are of their assholyness. If that's not a word, it is now... but let's move on...

I had a very interesting week last week to say the least. On Monday as I was coming home from the grocery store I was rear-ended. awesome. The car didn't really suffer from it, there's only a little scratch in the tire holder in the back. The car who rear-ended me had more extensive damage. It's front went under the tire holder and was bumped inwards so it was little less pretty. I called the cops and we waited for them in the pouring rain for 45 minutes. When they finally showed up they said it would be better not to file a report because it would make it bigger and then the insurance company would increase the premiums etc, so we exchanged information, he agreed to pay for the damages and we went our separate ways. But the interesting part is that he was in his 70's or 80's and had the exact same name as the lead actor in one of the Law and Order series...I won't name names but maybe it was his dad! That's what we think anyway...

On Wednesday Tiffany took the day off and we met her mom and her co-workers in the city for Radio City Music Hall's Christmas Show. It was awesome. It's one of those things that you should do once in a lifetime especially if you are living in NY/NJ area. Afterwards we went for lunch with them and when their bus left we did some window shopping. If it would have been later than 3pm we might have stayed in the city to see the lighting of the Christmas tree at Rockefeller plaza which was at 8pm but instead we came home.

While we were coming home with the subway I got a phone call about a job. I applied to become the sustainability coordinator for city of Southampton in Long Island, NY and they called me back. YAY, dontcha think? Well, she left me a voicemail, told me that it was a 1 year position with a possibility for more if I was able to secure a grant funding...told me about the cost of living in Southampton (you're probably thinking what's so special about Southampton...well, it's the HAMPTON'S...if you ever watched Sex and the City, it's the place where the rich and famous go for summer vacation and where all the houses are like mansions. Can you say expensive?) and asked me if I was still interested and if so, I could call her at her office. Well I called on Thursday am and left a voicemail...tried again on pm...then twice again on Friday. Every time got her voicemail and she has not called me back. So doesn't look like it's YAY after all. I will keep you posted if there is anything to keep you posted on.

Then on Saturday, and now this is getting interesting, we were at Tiffany's moms chiling and the topic of x-mas gifts came up. Since I have been unemployed now for 6 months and counting, I am obviously broke. I'm not eligible for unemployment in here and I'm not eligible for unemployment in Finland because...I'm not IN Finland. So I am tired of not having any money and so I was making a joke about our secret Santa gifts (me, T and T's brothers and their wives are doing secret Santa where we each picked a name and only buy a gift for that person. everybody gets a great gift and we don't have to spend on everybody) and how instead of getting the WII games I asked for I would ask for scratch offs (Ässäarpa) for 100 dollars! Then Amanda said that she was gonna buy them for everbody's stockings anyway like she does every year and I said but I don;t have a stocking and she said but yes you do! It's upstairs and she was gonna write my name on it! Judy got me my own stocking!!! I'm SO excited!!! This is huge! This is like her silent version of approval. If you have a stocking you are part of the family. I have my own stocking!!! YES!!! and when you add that to the fact that she invited me to the Christmas show this is major major news! I'm in!

So there was my week...car accident, call about a job that may or may not materialize and my own stocking! How was your week?

P.S. Carly is still too cute. She's talking a mile a minute, 90% of the time I have no idea what she's saying but she's like a little sponge. I taught her how to say Kiitos and kippis and even though she doesn't have a clue what it means, she repeats it anyway.

P.P.S Judy's cat Dusty, who originally was Tiffany's cat who she had to give to her mom because there were no pets allowed on campus (that's how old she is) is sick. Dusty's right back paw has lost it's movement for what looks like dislocation but isn't. They took her to the vet twice last week and the second Doctor said it might be a lymphnote. They took a biopsy and now we are waiting for results. Dusty was not looking good and on Friday when we saw her she looked really really bad. On Saturday she was grooming herself and eating and looking much better but with all the worries we had few months ago about sox's health and with Dusty's age we are definitely worried. Carly is walking around telling people that Dusty is sad...

so that's what's going on...later