Paging my life...has anyone seen it?

So in 2 weeks I will board a plane to Finland. Just for a month or 2 or so, we hope. In case you haven't heard, I found a job. I cannot tell you the specifics because nothing is certain but if they can find funding for this project, I will have a job. I had an "interview" with my future boss few weeks ago and he told me all this. Since then he has had meeting with the people who would fund it but it's all still up in the air. So that means my job is also up in the air. And that means my and Tiffany's life together is also up in the air. It's all basically out of my hands at this point. I am forced to leave my life, my girlfriend and my cats behind because my visa expired and finding a job in this economy is like finding a needle in a haystack. Impossible. And that's the only way I can stay here. Find a job that's willing to shell out few thousand dollars for my work visa.

I would laugh if I had the energy. Were we a straight couple we could get married and Tiffany could just sponsor my visa. Were I a person who wouldn't mind staying here illegally and just working under the table I could do that. But I want a life together with my loved one, I want to settle down, have a house, have a job that I like (and pays well) and maybe start a family without the fear of someday immigration knocking on my door and deporting me. Is that too much to ask? Just your basic wants that everybody has... but no, I will need to leave my partner and leave.

So right now my life is being taken away from me. I'm gonna leave everything I've built here for the past 3 years to go back home. Tiffany, Sox and Bailey, Carly, Adriana, our new niece, rest of Tiffany's family and our friends... Even though I do think this job will eventually come through in the meantime I'll be in limbo at home. Not knowing when exactly I'll be back. And it sucks.