Proposition 8

So I just read that Prop. 8 has been overturned by a federal judge. For those of you who don't know what it means...few years back California approved same sex marriage. People got married and were happy only to have the religious right (the republicans) to get it into a vote by the californians and for them to decide whether gay marriage should be approved or not...well they decided that it was not ok for the gay californians to marry so it was overturned. A Couple of gay guys who got married while it was still legal sued and the judge now ruled that the the law was unconstitutional...Awesome news!

Why I am not overly joyed right now is because all though it's great news and a nice first step, it can still be overturned...again. And even if it wasn't, it still doesn't help me and Tiffany. It's a step to the right direction but we're still so far away from a situation where me and Tiffany can breathe easy. What we need to happen is for this immigration reform that's being suggested to include same sex couples the right to sponsor their foreign partner so that situations that we now are in won't have to happen again. No couple should have to face the choice between their home country and their spouse. No couple should face the situation where one of you needs to leave because staying would be violating the law. No couple should face the situation of a long distance relationship unless they want to.

Now I know my particular situation isn't the most extreme or heartbreaking or dangerous. I'm not facing jail time, persecution or hardship because I'm gay in Finland. Hell, I could "marry" Tiffany and get her here in a second. The fact is, for financial reasons and for career reasons, it would be easier for the both of us to live in the States. I will never be able to make as much money here as I would there. It would be harder for Tiffany to be here since she doesn't speak the language and let's face it, Finnish is not exactly the easiest to learn. It's not just about money though...In my chosen field I could make a lot of money if I wanted to (and if someone would hire me) but I wouldn't mind working in some other field, doing something else either. The fact is, the law that prevents Tiffany from marrying/sponsoring me also prevents me from working in any other field than environmental. They do not make it easy...

Now my straight friends...can you tell me how my right to marry Tiffany and legally call her my wife/spouse affects your relationship? Your marriage? Your potential to find a spouse? Your divorce? Your ability have children? The way I see it is that what happens in my house or in my bedroom is my business and not yours...and what happens in your house or your bedroom is yours. How is cheating on your spouse keeping the "sanctity" of marriage in tact? How does a divorce fare with the sanctity of marriage? How does you marrying multiple times and getting multiple divorces go with the sanctity of marriage? As long as the marriage included one man and one woman it is ok to beat, cheat, ignore and divorce and remarry? It was between a man and a woman so it is ok? Please check the divorce rates of the western "civilization". Half if not more marriages these days ends up in a divorce. Those are all your numbers. I'm not included. I'm not making your precious marriage/divorce numbers any uglier. I can't. You won't let me. So enjoy that probability my friend. 50-50.

Finland is talking about "sex neutral marriage law" or something to that affect. Right now same sex couples have the right to marry or register their relationship but cannot adopt. There are few other issues that do not make the marriages equal but I cannot remember them all. This new law would give everybody the same rights and would also take the words man and a woman from the description of marriage. I am not gonna get all emotional about this just yet because right now the most important part of my ability to marry Tiffany is the fact that I could get her here, get her a permanent residency and get her permission to work and study. And it would be fairly simple process, not expensive nor time consuming. But if the situation would arise where we need to stay in Finland, I would very much like for us to have joint custody of our future children and if anything happened to either one of us, for the other one not having to worry about custody or lack thereof.

I'm done now...It's late and I'm getting tired. Tomorrow I have a date with 6 kittens so I need to be awake for that! A friend of mine is fostering a mama cat and her kittens and since I don't have daily interaction with cats anymore, I am going to get my kitty cat loving from these kittens.

Good night. I'm out!