A love letter

I'm so proud. So. Proud.

A little over a year ago I was thinking "here goes the Forssa Pride Parade" every time I walked outside in Forssa.

This past May I lost my "Only lesbian in the village" status when I met Noora. On that faithful July evening when we came up with the idea of Forssa Pride Party, we had no idea if we could secure a location for it, let alone if people would show up. Now, a week removed from it, I am so proud to say it was a total success. Beyond my wildest expectation. You never know with these things, based on how many people liked the Facebook page (72), and how many said they were going to come (42), I was hoping it would be more than just me, Noora and my friends. But Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected 184 people to be there. Never. That little crazy idea me and Noora had, moved 182 other people. And not just from Forssa, or the neighboring towns, No. They came from Rauma, Turku, Tampere and Helsinki. Way over 100km away. To experience something different. To support a little town event. To meet new people.

I feel blessed, and that's not a word I usually use, because I associate it with religion, and we all know how I feel about religion. But I truly feel blessed right now. Everybody we asked for help or for advice or to do something for our event said yes. Eino made a fabulous poster and when I asked if he could adapt it for badge format, he did it. When I asked Pirkanmaan Seta for the badge machine, not only did they tell me where to get it, they promised to pay for the badges, got it for me and made the badges. They even tried to organize a bus transportation from Tampere and back. My friends, even though they probably thought I was crazy, promised to show up and support me. I gave interviews to 2 local news papers/magazines and gave on to a regional radio. And on Friday people came to shake my hand and thanking me for organizing the party. I met so many new people that I don't even remember them all. Got some new friends. And all the feedback we've gotten, whether before or after the party, has been nothing but positive. People had fun and are ready to come again. And the owners said they'd be open to it. So it looks like this might turn into a bi-annual or maybe trice-a-year event. How cool is that?

And it's not just the party. I was approach about starting a support group for lgb people in Forssa. We had a meeting about it yesterday and in 3 weeks time we'll have the first meeting. And I'm leading it. How crazy is that? Me, leading a group? I hate public speaking, I hate having all eyes on me, and here I am about to lead a support group. It's awesome, and crazy and wonderful and I really don't know which way to turn right now.

So thank you for everyone who had a part in making the first (of many) Forssa Pride Party a success. I really really appreciate each and every one of you for your support and participation and hope to see you at the next party, if not at the meetings.

And here I thought I was special

So it turns out Forssa is some kind of weird statistical anomaly. Yesterday I met yet another woman living in Forssa who belongs to the "I am/was dating an american" club. They should probably look into expanding the little air field in Forssa, because there obviously needs to be an air bridge between Forssa and east coast, USA.

One of these days we're all gonna get together, form a support group, make T-shirts and come up with a slogan. After Forssa Pride Party is over and done, maybe I'll look into organizing the "widows of an american" party.

Feeling guilty

Why is it that even though I have been super productive today, in kinda unproductive way, I feel guilty for hanging out in my bedroom? I have done Pride Party related things, took a walk, went to the grocery store and in general was out of the apartment for at least few hours today.

I bought cables to connect my computer to my TV few days ago so that I could watch all my shows from a slightly larger screen and lay back in bed. I've spent more time in my bedroom now than I have since the great depression of early 2011 when I laid in bed in my PJ's for days without going outside or changing watching youtube clips of lesbian couples and crying my eyes out. I guess now I associate laying in bed with a low point in my life and feel guilty doing it. I have a job that I am very good at, the 2 terrorists to keep me company and sane/insane, depending on your point of view, money to go places and do things, friends to listen to me ramble on and most importantly, a purpose. So I should be able to take it easy without feeling guilty, right? Next week is going to be so hectic, with badge-making on Monday night, public presentations in the evening on Tuesday and Thursday and 2 board meetings so I'm allowed to enjoy myself while I can.

I also feel guilty when after coming home from work I change into my PJ's. Like that implies that I won't be going outside again and especially NOT going to the gym. See, the gym is still making me feel guilty even though I haven't been for a while and didn't get my groove on with it. What's up with that? And now that I have the money and resources to go, I still don't feel like it. I'll take that 6-pack though, thank you very much, with a side of low(er) body fat. Keep the cellulite!

The reason I'm feeling guilty? I bought season 1 DVD's of Glee, Grey's anatomy and Ally McBeal today. Happy Birthday to me! You know what that means? Lounging in my bed for countless hours!

Pride Party feelings

Now that fall is upon us and the days are getting shorter and it's constantly raining, there's a song that for some reason just brings me back to this summer. I associate it with pride parties. It might have been playing at the women's party in Helsinki or at leimarit or pride party in Tampere, don't remember but I just get this peaceful, right-at-home-feeling when I listen to this song. And it will be played at Forssa Pride pre-party.  Just close your eyes and listen to the beautiful voice of Finland's favorite hollywood son-in-law.