Dare to dream!

No, really, I dare to you to dream and then make it a reality! Never in a million years did I think that I would get some of the biggest and hottest LGBT-names in Finland to come to my little shindig, but they did and it was amazing!

You know, there's always room for improvement and we definitely have that in regards to attendance but as far as the program part of Forssa Pride 3 goes, I can't complain. It was everything I wanted it to be and more. I had no doubt that Rakel would deliver, she's a pro at this. She's funny, she's articulate and she was the perfect hostess for the event. I listened carefully when Leena won her Miss Gay Finland crown and her speech after winning was something I could identify with. She wants to have an impact on the same things I do. The one part that I wasn't familiar with was Aleks, but I was really impressed with him. Not a lot of 19-year olds have to do that much self reflection nor are they ready to take on the task of changing peoples perception or fight for human rights. Aleks was very mature and his attitude of "you have to take bad with the good" was really impressive. You can't take everything personally and that's something we should all remember. On top of them bringing their A-game, they were all really lovely people and weren't bothered with all the "Can I get a picture with you" questions they heard throughout the night. I think Aleks with his recent stint in the Celebrity Big Brother house was the biggest hit of the night.

 Backstage beforehand.

 Showtime!

Me with the stars of the night.

The intellectual discussion was something that you don't really get in Forssa, at least not in public, and makes me think about all the things I'm missing. Also, makes me sad that not more people were interested in coming to hear them, because there was a lot of things that could have opened peoples eyes and really make them think about things and their own resources to impact a change, whether in their own lives, in Forssa or even more nationally. Listening to that discussion and also the questions that were posed, made me appreciate my own Gay Cafe group and the "more than a rainbow" group I go to at Pirkanmaan Seta.

On Sunday I heard people I don't personally know talking about Forssa Pride for the first time. I thought it was great, because I haven't heard anybody ever talking about anything LGBT related in Forssa before, and just few weeks ago I saw my first female couple holding hands in Forssa. What a sheltered life I've led so far!

I want to thank Green Whale for sponsoring this event and bar 54 for hosting us. I was also promised that there would be Forssa Pride 4, so I'll see you next Spring! Before that I'll be at Lahti Pride, Gay Cafe will be marching there and some of us were thinking about staying for the after party.

The irony

I think it's just swell how a year after (plus minus few days) I had to leave USA they passed marriage equality in the State of New York. Not that it would have helped me, but still. Then tomorrow, on the anniversary of being dumped it would be possible to get married in my home-state-away-from-home, New Jersey. And since DOMA is no longer in effect, this would actually help me.

I should probably send my application for the diversity visa lottery, because I'd probably get it too, now that it wouldn't matter at all anymore.

Is it really tomorrow?

I can't believe my little chat with Leena before Helsinki Pride Parade resulted in Leena, Aleks and Rakel coming to Forssa tomorrow to headline Forssa Pride! How crazy is that? One day you're imagining this little gay party and then year from it you have some of the biggest lgbt names from Finland coming to your party because you asked them! Asked! That's how easy it was.

I'm once again so happy and humbled and amazed what you can do when you dare to dream.

I'll see see you at Forssa Pride tomorrow!

Feedback feels good

I sometimes feel like I live in a vacuum and don't really see the impact that my actions have. One of the biggest reasons for me leading Gay Cafe and organizing Forssa Pride is to create a Community for people around the area. Sometimes, especially when I was doing everything by myself and no one would show up, I felt like I'm living in this bubble and no one else is around. Why am I doing this again? Only gay in the village

Then we get to Forssa Pride and people are having fun, telling me they've had some much fun and how grateful they are that I've organized it. Same with recurring people at Gay Cafe, or new ones coming in and telling me they had so much fun. It feels amazing to hear that what I've created is helping others.

Last time at Gay Cafe I had invited a friend to lead the discussion, we had a 4 page spread in a local news paper to open the discussion about lgbt people as customers in social services and health care and I invited directors of social services from the 5 local municipalities and none of them showed up and only one had the decency to decline the invitation. Then today I found out that one has also been an active volunteer at FSMS but couldn't even bother to decline or reach out. I feel slighted but at the same time I realize how much this is needed. I won't give up.

I also need to learn not to take these things personally. It's hard, because they're things I've come up with, things I KNOW need improving, things I am doing to improve them and no one is listening. No one is paying attention. We're not important enough. Once again, we are invisible, and I feel it's ME that's invisible. And because I feel invisible here, it's sometimes hard to believe in the positive feedback I get from outside Forssa from people who are doing these things in areas where they have a big organization behind them with like-minded people helping them.

I love what I'm doing, at its best it's so rewarding and at its worst it's so frustrating. And this isn't even anything I get paid to do. I must really love it or be totally bat shit crazy!