Proposition 8

So I just read that Prop. 8 has been overturned by a federal judge. For those of you who don't know what it means...few years back California approved same sex marriage. People got married and were happy only to have the religious right (the republicans) to get it into a vote by the californians and for them to decide whether gay marriage should be approved or not...well they decided that it was not ok for the gay californians to marry so it was overturned. A Couple of gay guys who got married while it was still legal sued and the judge now ruled that the the law was unconstitutional...Awesome news!

Why I am not overly joyed right now is because all though it's great news and a nice first step, it can still be overturned...again. And even if it wasn't, it still doesn't help me and Tiffany. It's a step to the right direction but we're still so far away from a situation where me and Tiffany can breathe easy. What we need to happen is for this immigration reform that's being suggested to include same sex couples the right to sponsor their foreign partner so that situations that we now are in won't have to happen again. No couple should have to face the choice between their home country and their spouse. No couple should face the situation where one of you needs to leave because staying would be violating the law. No couple should face the situation of a long distance relationship unless they want to.

Now I know my particular situation isn't the most extreme or heartbreaking or dangerous. I'm not facing jail time, persecution or hardship because I'm gay in Finland. Hell, I could "marry" Tiffany and get her here in a second. The fact is, for financial reasons and for career reasons, it would be easier for the both of us to live in the States. I will never be able to make as much money here as I would there. It would be harder for Tiffany to be here since she doesn't speak the language and let's face it, Finnish is not exactly the easiest to learn. It's not just about money though...In my chosen field I could make a lot of money if I wanted to (and if someone would hire me) but I wouldn't mind working in some other field, doing something else either. The fact is, the law that prevents Tiffany from marrying/sponsoring me also prevents me from working in any other field than environmental. They do not make it easy...

Now my straight friends...can you tell me how my right to marry Tiffany and legally call her my wife/spouse affects your relationship? Your marriage? Your potential to find a spouse? Your divorce? Your ability have children? The way I see it is that what happens in my house or in my bedroom is my business and not yours...and what happens in your house or your bedroom is yours. How is cheating on your spouse keeping the "sanctity" of marriage in tact? How does a divorce fare with the sanctity of marriage? How does you marrying multiple times and getting multiple divorces go with the sanctity of marriage? As long as the marriage included one man and one woman it is ok to beat, cheat, ignore and divorce and remarry? It was between a man and a woman so it is ok? Please check the divorce rates of the western "civilization". Half if not more marriages these days ends up in a divorce. Those are all your numbers. I'm not included. I'm not making your precious marriage/divorce numbers any uglier. I can't. You won't let me. So enjoy that probability my friend. 50-50.

Finland is talking about "sex neutral marriage law" or something to that affect. Right now same sex couples have the right to marry or register their relationship but cannot adopt. There are few other issues that do not make the marriages equal but I cannot remember them all. This new law would give everybody the same rights and would also take the words man and a woman from the description of marriage. I am not gonna get all emotional about this just yet because right now the most important part of my ability to marry Tiffany is the fact that I could get her here, get her a permanent residency and get her permission to work and study. And it would be fairly simple process, not expensive nor time consuming. But if the situation would arise where we need to stay in Finland, I would very much like for us to have joint custody of our future children and if anything happened to either one of us, for the other one not having to worry about custody or lack thereof.

I'm done now...It's late and I'm getting tired. Tomorrow I have a date with 6 kittens so I need to be awake for that! A friend of mine is fostering a mama cat and her kittens and since I don't have daily interaction with cats anymore, I am going to get my kitty cat loving from these kittens.

Good night. I'm out!

Quality time with my brother

So yesterday Arttu took me to see Inception and afterwards we went to the roof terrace/ katto terassi for drinks. The movie was kinda weird, I think after seeing shutter Island it kind of followed on that path... Movie itself was ok but nothing that I would like to or need to see again. One thing that caught my eye and that wasn't necessarily what I needed to see in my current state of mind was the fact that one of the characters was seeing a "reflection" of his now dead wife...and he was actively looking to see her and tried to find her.

Afterwards we went for drinks and had a chance to really catch up and talk about things. It's amazing to get to know your brother little better. He's 10 years younger than me so we haven't ever really had the same interests or hobbies or friends so now being able to hear my grown up brother talk and tell me how he feels about a certain things is great. However long my stay here is this is one thing I will enjoy; to get to know my brother. We will try to make this a regular thing...I just need to find a job/ win the lottery so that I can pay for it!

The past few weeks have been really hot in Finland and it seems like I brought a little bit of extra with me as Thursday was the hottest day in the Finnish recorded history...37,5degree Celcius/ 99 degree F! Almost broke that 100...It's not humid here so it doesn't feel as bad as it does in NYC but it's not like you enjoy being outside either. I tried sitting outside drinking coffee but came inside after few minutes. Now it's back to normal, nice and sunny but not too hot.

I have been enjoying almost all the foods that I missed while in the States. On my first day here my mom bought salmon and made gravlox...I can still taste it in my mouth...so GOOD! And on top of rye bread...yummy! I have definitely had my share of rye bread...I've had my favorite salmiakki, had a good czech sauna beer, had some chocolate, had not so healthy food from grill, went to hese for fries and mayo...yum! I still need to get my fave yogurt and go get some ice cream but right now I'm just enjoying my mom's cooking.

Hope to have some positive news next week...I'll be back.
Later

New day, new place

As you can see there has been a lot of changes happening, both in my life and this blog...I will try to update the pictures of Carly, Sox and Bailey and add Adriana. I am now in Finland so the blog name had to change. The background disappeared so I had to change that too.

I've now been to Finland for 3 days and miss Tiffany like crazy. We haven't really had a chance to talk to each other all that much because I have been suffering from jetlag and we now have 7h time difference. I and we had mastered that before I moved to USA so I'm sure we will again but for right now trying to figure out her schedule during the day/night is difficult. And since she's working it's not like I will just pick up the phone and call her and we can chat for as long as we want to...she actually has to work! Sucks when that happens. And we keep missing each other on all the instant messaging systems so it sucks even more. We're trying to catch each other...

Being back home has definitely been a little culture shock. There are no people here. Brooklyn was never quiet, there was always people around and the streets were buzzing...not to mention the highway under our window. There is a random car on the street every once in awhile but that's it. I went to pick up Arttu from the train station today at 7pm and there were no people to be seen. Few cars here and there but overall very quiet and peaceful. Not at all what I'm used to on a Friday night. Speaking of my little brother...he came home from the army today and was wearing his army clothes...I had to take a picture. Last time I saw him he was little scrawnier and had a long black/dark hair. Now he has short hair and he's gained some muscle.




Tomorrow we are having some quality brother/sister time. He's taking me to the movies to see Inception and afterwards for drinks. He also gave me his wireless internet connection stick so that I don't have to rely on Ybi's computer but I can use my own...This means I can skype Tiffany in the middle of (my) night when I can't sleep without having to get up and go to the other room.

I also wanted to post a picture of Arttu from when he was a baby when he was making faces after tasting sour candy but don't feel like scanning it right now (requires getting up, moving to another room and starting another computer) and the picture that I took of the picture doesn't look right. Next time.

I'm getting tired now so I am gonna go. I will be blogging soon though...Later.

If I get a doctor's note, can I stay here?

So I'm wondering if I get a Doctor's note saying I'm too sick to travel, can I stay here? Probably not but it's probably worth a shot... If this is how my body takes on saying good bye to Tiffany's family, I wonder if I'll be in the hospital for saying good bye to Tiffany!

This past weekend was my last one up by Tiffany's family. We drove up on Friday night and stayed at Johnny and JoeAnn's or as it will be known from now on, at Adriana's. They're not taking Adriana to see people just yet because she hasn't had her vaccinations so they were not able to come to the bbq on Saturday. We stayed up past midnight, had a few drinks and talked.

On Saturday we had breakfast at Adriana's, went to the pond to swim with Carly, enjoyed some sun, went back to see Adriana with Celeste who hadn't seen her before and then headed to Billy and Amanda's for the bbq. It was just us, Tiffany's mom, Billy, Amanda and Carly, Erin, her new bf Brad (who will start studying for his architecture degree and knew 2 Finnish architects), Jane and Celeste. We had good time, had some drinks, good food and when it was time to leave I was fine until Erin started crying and then I lost it.

On Sunday we had breakfast with Billy, Amanda, Carly and Tiffany's dad, went to see Adriana one more time and got home later than we wanted to. After few hours at home I started to feel like crap. Achy, cold, was coughing and just felt like I was getting the flu. I'm still achy and feel out-of-breath but other than that I'm fine.

I have a project I need to be working on as well as going through my stuff to figure out what to take to Finland, what to leave here and what to throw away...and pack as much stuff I can so that if I'm not coming back till next year and Tiffany needs to move before that, she doesn't need to pack my stuff. I also need to get some WII time in as well as quality time with the cats. They won;t be getting too much sleep during the day this week because I'm constantly waking them up. There's plenty of time to sleep next week!

Look for more health updates later this week/early next week to see how this move is affecting me. It's total bullshit that I need to go back home and leave Tiffany behind when there are thousands of straight couples who can get married and sponsor their spouses to stay but we need to be separated because of this stupid immigration law that is totally FUCKED UP!!!

Talk to you later or see you in Finland.

Paging my life...has anyone seen it?

So in 2 weeks I will board a plane to Finland. Just for a month or 2 or so, we hope. In case you haven't heard, I found a job. I cannot tell you the specifics because nothing is certain but if they can find funding for this project, I will have a job. I had an "interview" with my future boss few weeks ago and he told me all this. Since then he has had meeting with the people who would fund it but it's all still up in the air. So that means my job is also up in the air. And that means my and Tiffany's life together is also up in the air. It's all basically out of my hands at this point. I am forced to leave my life, my girlfriend and my cats behind because my visa expired and finding a job in this economy is like finding a needle in a haystack. Impossible. And that's the only way I can stay here. Find a job that's willing to shell out few thousand dollars for my work visa.

I would laugh if I had the energy. Were we a straight couple we could get married and Tiffany could just sponsor my visa. Were I a person who wouldn't mind staying here illegally and just working under the table I could do that. But I want a life together with my loved one, I want to settle down, have a house, have a job that I like (and pays well) and maybe start a family without the fear of someday immigration knocking on my door and deporting me. Is that too much to ask? Just your basic wants that everybody has... but no, I will need to leave my partner and leave.

So right now my life is being taken away from me. I'm gonna leave everything I've built here for the past 3 years to go back home. Tiffany, Sox and Bailey, Carly, Adriana, our new niece, rest of Tiffany's family and our friends... Even though I do think this job will eventually come through in the meantime I'll be in limbo at home. Not knowing when exactly I'll be back. And it sucks.

45 days and counting

It's been a long time since my last blog. Clearly. A lot has happened since then and nothing at all. As I'm writing this I'm watching the World Cup which once again is played without the presence of the Finns. If I see them in a world cup in my life time, I'm gonna be very surprised. In this one I'm all for England even though I doubt they can go all the way, the Netherlands (same thing) and USA...I hope it's a european team who wins but who knows. Since I'm in USA right now my pre-tournament preparations have been not as intense as they would be in Finland since this is not a big sport here. For me and Tiffany it is, but not the rest of the country.

I'm still unemployed. Obviously. If I wasn't I would have shouted it on FB and on top of every roof by now. I have 45 days left in the country if I don't find a job soon... 45 desperate days. My professor has been helping me and hopefully one of the contacts he gave me will come through. If not, I will be looking for a job in the UK probably. If I don't find a job I'll be in Finland between 25-29th of July. I obviously don;t want to leave unless it's for a visit at the US embassy for a work visa but if I do...I miss salmiakki, sauna, finnish foods, Hese and my family. Arttu turned 20 yesterday....man he's old! Guess I shouldn't call him a baby anymore?

Tiffany's brothers and his wife are expecting a baby girl any day now. They're 3 days away from the due date. This will be my 7,5th niece/nephew! We can't wait to meet her! It is pretty hard to top Carly cuz she has such a nice personality but we can't wait to meet Adriana and see her grow into herself. It saddens me that I am not close to my own niece's and nephew but I also wasn't close to my brother and sister so I guess it goes with the territory. At least I can see them on Facebook.

I promise I will be back sooner than in 6 months but right now I need to send some applications. TTYL

GO ENGLAND!

Age crisis

So my baby brother started his army service today. My baby brother. He is 19, will be 20 in the summer but still, he is my baby brother. I'm sure he doesn't want me to announce this on worldwide media {to the 5 readers I have ;-) } but I still call him "vauva" or baby in Finnish! He is and always will be baby to me. It seems like it was only yesterday when me and Riina used to give him sour candy, these sour pastel colour smiley face candy we used to eat and he would take it, put it in his mouth and then make the cutest face ever when he tasted the sour taste. It was awesome and he just would never learn. He thought it looked good and we could fool him time and time again. After he learned it wasn't tasty we could still get him make that face. I would put one up here but all my pictures are in Finland.

I remember when he was in the kindergarten and sometimes after school and during the summer I used to come pick him up. I remember the day when there was a big forest fire in Tammela and I went to pick him up and it was raining burnt pine needles. I used to give him a ride at the back of my bike.

I also remember when I was in high school and the 2 high schools in Forssa merged. In one of the buildings was also Arttu's elementary school so even though we were 10 years apart for a year and a half we went to school in the same building. It was nice to see him during the day.

And now the baby boy is in the army. I feel like I'm old. Or getting there. I'll be 30 this year and I still feel like a teenager. With more responsibility and more worries. I feel like I should be in my early twenties. But time flies when your going to school...

This year is a big birthday year in my family. Ybi will be 60, me and Riina will turn 30 and Arttu will be 20. Where did the time go?

I will try to blog about x-mas one of these days...Hope everybody is having a great year!

Later