I'm dying

I'm dying

I think I'm dying

I might be dying...

I thought dentists were my friends. Like really, I thought that. I've been going to see dentists regularly since first grade when I had 7(?) cavities. Since then I've seen them regularly every year throughout elementary, middle and high school until it wasn't free anymore. After that I went when it was absolutely necessary. And that usually meant multiple appointments as well. So obviously I've never been afraid of them.

I was once told that I only have like 6-8 teeth that have had cavities but those are the once that just keep getting them over and over again. When I was 17(?) and we had the last year of free dental care and they did the spit tests and everything I was also told that my spit is creating an environment in my mouth which increases the chances of developing cavities. So no matter how much I brush, floss or use mouthwash, I will get them. They also told me that I still should do all those things to try to prevent them from appearing. TMI, I know. Sorry. (I know you ya'll really really wanna kiss me right now...)

I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. My foot few years back was the first time I've ever experienced excruciating pain and no matter what they did or what kind of pain killers I was given, it hurt like mother fucker! Right now though...I wish I still had my phantom pain medication with me. It wasn't really helping with what it was supposed to help with but it made me sleepy. I have a feeling tonight I won't be sleeping much.

So what's the matter? The furthest tooth on lower left side of my mouth is sensitive to touch to the point where any contact is hurting. It's not a cavity pain, it's not sensitive to hot or cold. It does react to them but it's not the shooting pain you get with a cavity. It's a constant pain that radiated throughout my left jaw and the point where your lymph notes are is really hurting. Sensitive to touch as well. But they're not swollen. The left side just hurts. It's kind of like wisdom tooth pain when they are coming out except I don't have wisdom teeth on my lower jaw. I went to see the on call dentist today at the hospital and they x-rayed me and filled the cavity that was there but it DID NOT help. I'm in even more pain. If this is as bad as it is tomorrow, I'm going back tomorrow.  And the kicker is... the pain killer I have, Burana 400, you're only supposed to take 1/2 -1 tablets 3 times a day...I've already taken double that and the pain is ok for maybe 5h at a time. So majorly overdosing  here. If I go into organ failure you all know what the cause was.

Oh, btw...I have already diagnosed myself and I didn't even go to webMD or any other website: I have a brain tumor that's pressing against the nerves on my jaw and tooth. Although, can it be a brain tumor if it's in my jaw? Head tumor? Jaw tumor? Neck tumor? Anyhoo, that's probably what it is. So when I start the radiation I'll have a legitimate reason to shave my head.

Hope ya'll are having a better weekend than me!