Signs

Signs. They're everywhere. In June when I heard about the possible Rutgers job, all of a sudden there were signs everywhere. All positive. Stickers at the back of cars, posters on the side of a highway advertising degree programs, and people on the news who went to Rutgers. Since I came back and the guy stopped all contact, it's been all bad. A gay student from Rutgers was bullied and jumped off a bridge. And a football player was paralyzed after a tackle on the field.

Neither one of those things don't necessarily make that place a bad work place but I think it's interesting how the news are bad now. It's like the rotten core all of a sudden comes out. First it's all pretty and exciting and then it all implodes in front of you.

Can anyone tell me if rain on your big day is supposed to be a good or a bad thing? Not talking about wedding day but on a day when something important is supposed to happen? Last week's Wednesday, the day before my interview was the most gorgeous fall day ever. I went out for a walk and even though it was crispy, the leafs were changing colors, covering the ground like a blanket and the air was nice and warm in the sun. Then fastforward to Thursday, me in a suit, nice new heels and my hair done (even hairspray which I've used the last time when Johnny and JoeAnn got married!) and it's pouring like there's no tomorrow. I did get my New Yorker on and wore sneakers outside so that my shoes wouldn't get wet but seriously?

Then yesterday I had the European recruiting fair in Turku and I wake up with my sinuses about to explode. I got the flu on Sunday and I think yesterday was the worst day so far. Was seriously thinking about not even going but I had promised to see a friend from high school I haven't seen for over 3 maybe 4 years so I got up and went...took the later bus though. The unemployment agency agreed to pay my travel expenses if I showed them a potential employer from the list of participants and could get them to sign my form. When I got to the fair area I'm looking for the company and couldn't find them. I saw a whole slew of other vendors but Gem was not there...GREAT! I asked the information people and they said that Gem had not showed up nor had they informed anybody about it... So it will remain to be seen whether I'll get my travel expenses paid. RAIN ALL DAY! The seminars were great, well 2,5/4. From the first I only saw the last quarter maybe and he's gay so by association it was great (in English). The "how to become a diplomat" and " how to become a EU bureaucrat" presentations gave me a lot to think about (both in Finnish) and then the "how to find a job in EU area" presentation (in English) was total crap! I hate presenting and I forget my words but I can talk outside the slides too. I might be red as a tomato and in need of a shower but if that's the level of presentation we Finns can give in English...I have a bright bright future! So yeah, that fair was a waste of my time, mostly. But yeah...rain.

iPod's shuffle function is a curious thing. It's like it has a mood sensor and it only plays the music that fits your mood. When you're happy it plays all kinds of up beat songs, when you're in love it plays love songs all day long, when you're exercising it plays all kinds of songs that will give you that one extra push so that you can finish or go on just a little bit more. And when you're sad or heartbroken, that's all it plays. Sad songs that will make you even sadder or songs about lost love(r) that will bring tears to your eyes.

Even if you ignore them or don't know how to interpret them at the time, the signs will all make sense one day.