It'll all work itself out

As I was walking to the grocery store today I was thinking that is there a fixed amount of "it'll work itself out" per person? If for a long time things just fell into place and then all of a sudden they don't anymore and no matter what you do you don't seem to get a break, is it because you ran out of "it'll all work itself out"?

After high school I wanted to go to law school but didn't have the time, discipline or will power to study for the entrance exams so I followed my best friend to Hämeenlinna and went to a business school for a year. The plan was to go to school for a year and study for the entrance exams. Uh huh. After the year was over I knew I didn't want to continue the second year so I moved to Helsinki, cleaned for the summer and found a place in Wales to go work as an Au Pair. That gig was for 5 months after which the family moved back to Finland and I was left to look for another gig. I found one in England and worked there till the end of July when I came back to Finland to start my studies in Tampere.

When I was studying in Tampere, we had to have 1 year of practical training which basically meant we had to work through our summers and then in our 3rd year we had 6 months to work as well. The first 2 summers I was able to go back to Wales and volunteer for an environmental conservation groups. For the final 6 months I went to work for our local waste management company. I've never been an environmentally conscious person and the reason why I studied to become environmental engineer was because I wanted to study in English and that was the only other subject matter taught in english beside business and nursing...so when it was time for me to decide on what my final thesis would be about, I went back to the waste management company to see if they could help me with ideas or projects. And they could. I started working for them in January of 2005, 5 months before graduation doing my thesis and other work they needed me to do. I stayed there after graduation, the environmental engineer gets pregnant, they need someone to cover for her...I meet Tiffany, we fall in love, I want to move to USA, I save money, I find a school, move there and the rest is history. I didn't work during my first year there but was able to find a job through Domenica who had been coordinating the entertainment and happenings for the international students...only for my boss to leave and Domenica to take over for her. It all worked itself out until graduation. After that I wasn't eligible to work for the school anymore, my money was gone, we couldn't pay the rent for our B-ville apartment and we had to move to Brooklyn which Tiffany just hated. I wasn't able to find a job, my visa ran out, I had to leave the country and we broke up.

Is my bad fortune now pay back for the good fortune I had before? Is my quota of it'll work itself out gone? Will it go back to zero for the next decade? Should I just wait the 2010 out and start fresh next year? Will I start with a good fortune and go back to bad towards the end of the next decade? Or will it start with bad and turn around at some point?

Or is it maybe that if something doesn't work itself out, it's because it wasn't meant to be? I've been broke for a year and a half...does this mean I really don't need money? My job situation always kinda fell into place...does this year and a half without one mean that I'm not meant to have one? Maybe I'm just meant to be unemployed and instead of bitching and moaning about it I should embrace it? Take it easy, let loose, enjoy my life and not worry so much? Qe sera, sera, whatever will be, will be...

The apartment situation seems to be working itself out....well, I do need to do some work to get it but there seem to be places available... so why is the job so difficult? But not to worry, 2010 is almost over and next year and decade will be mine. I thought this one was too until October 21 hit. But hey, it'll all work itself out.