I'm in my PJ's on my couch which obviously means I'm not going anywhere tonight. Staying home making sure the kittens are ok with all the loud noises coming from outside. So far they don't seem to care, which is a very good thing. I personally, though, wished that Finland would stop selling fireworks to individuals and those who need to have them in their lives could just pay small fee to the city to have professionals handle them. No need for this 24/7 for 3 days bullshit. And no need for all those eye accidents and burns and mental anguish idiots inflict on others. I have a scar in my eye ball which I got when I was a kid from a wayward spark from a roman candle and since then I've had major hatred for less-than-professionally-handled-fireworks.
Anyway, I have beer, guacamole, chips, pop corn, candy and salad to take care of my nourishment and kittens to keep me company. And noisy neighbors. What else could you need?
If there are Conan O'Brien fans out there, you might remember his Late night with Conan O'Brien skit for new years where one of the band members sang "In the year 2000...In the year 2000" after which Conan and a celeb guest would made all kinds of predictions for the coming year... Here's him with Megan Mullally (Karen from Will and Grace)
So that's what I'm gonna do too. In stead of making resolutions that I won't keep, I'm gonna predict the future. So here goes nothing!
In the year 2000...In the year 2000...
I will continue NOT to go to the gym but instead let my waist expand.
I will continue enjoying Corona's even though they destroy my budget.
I will continue embrace my OCSFPD, Obsessive Compulsive Shopping-For-Pets Disorder.
I will continue to be excited by everything the kittens do and gush about it on every possible media I can.
I will continue to be lazy.
I will continue to hate fireworks.
I will get the hell away from Forssa. One way or another.
In the year 2000...In the year 2000...and 12.
So, there you have it. Hope you are able to keep your New Year's resolutions. Have a great 2012! See you next year!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
It's the little things
If it wasn't for the fact that my pictures come out as a serial killer on steroids, I'd take and post a picture of the HUGE GIANT smile on my face right now! No, I didn't win the lottery. And no, I didn't get a job and I doubt even that would put a huge smile on my face. What is it then, you ask?
I caught Brooklyn fetching on camera! Like seriously, that kitten, that 4,5-month-old-kitten, can fetch! And I didn't teach him, he just started bringing the ball to me! And when I tell him to bring the ball to me, he just blobs down and expects me to get it. Showing his dominance over his slave! It's the little things in live. I feel like a proud mama! So accomplished! In the 2 months they've been with me I've done something right! Now I wish everyone else was as excited as I am about this but as a single mom I guess it's my duty/privilege alone.
Now I'm seriously thinking about teaching Brooklyn to use the toilet bowl... If he's this smart as just a mare kitten, imagine what we could do when he's little older! We could rule the world!
I caught Brooklyn fetching on camera! Like seriously, that kitten, that 4,5-month-old-kitten, can fetch! And I didn't teach him, he just started bringing the ball to me! And when I tell him to bring the ball to me, he just blobs down and expects me to get it. Showing his dominance over his slave! It's the little things in live. I feel like a proud mama! So accomplished! In the 2 months they've been with me I've done something right! Now I wish everyone else was as excited as I am about this but as a single mom I guess it's my duty/privilege alone.
Now I'm seriously thinking about teaching Brooklyn to use the toilet bowl... If he's this smart as just a mare kitten, imagine what we could do when he's little older! We could rule the world!
Monday, December 26, 2011
O.M.G Part 2
Discovered the kittens in a compromising position this evening. Let's hope there won't be any kitten babies coming in few months. I'm so not ready to be a grandma anytime soon!
Sunday, December 25, 2011
O.M.G!!!
Or Oh Your God would be more accurate! This single parenthood is so not my thing! Like seriously! I figured out why Dunkin Donuts is speaking Swedish! SHE'S IN HEAT!!! My effin 4-month-old-kitty-cat IS IN HEAT! The good thing is, Brooklyn doesn't seem to be so hopefully I don't have to worry about my kittens having kittens right now...But seriously freaky stuff! And something I have to deal by myself!
Dunkin Donuts is meowing like there's no tomorrow, sometimes in Swedish and sometimes her soft little bird chirps. She's also on her back a lot, just rolling around. And then she's on her stomach with her tail up or to the side. Like seriously, no matter how broke I am in February, they are both getting neutered the first chance I got! I don't want to be acting as a kitten contraception! What should I do? Put a diaper on her? Is there such a thing as cat chastity belt?
And why does she have to roll in the kitty litter? With her long fur it gets everywhere!
I'm so not cut out for this! Is it February already?
Dunkin Donuts is meowing like there's no tomorrow, sometimes in Swedish and sometimes her soft little bird chirps. She's also on her back a lot, just rolling around. And then she's on her stomach with her tail up or to the side. Like seriously, no matter how broke I am in February, they are both getting neutered the first chance I got! I don't want to be acting as a kitten contraception! What should I do? Put a diaper on her? Is there such a thing as cat chastity belt?
And why does she have to roll in the kitty litter? With her long fur it gets everywhere!
I'm so not cut out for this! Is it February already?
Christmas riddle
Answer this:
How does a Finnish cat with an American name speak Swedish? I know Brooklyn is like the world's most intelligent cat but Dunkin Donuts is more of a pretty face...so how does she have a Swedish intonation to her meowing? Her meow's go up at the end, not like Finnish which is kinda even or ends going down. It's very riksvenska. And she's been really vocal this christmas.
It just came to me. Had to share. And in case you're some random person reading this, I'm not really crazy nor do I believe my cats can speak in tongues. Also, she sounds like bird when she's excited and purring.
I'll go back to trying to record her meowing now...maybe I'll be able to prove it!
p.s. Social media and twitter in particular are weird media...I mentioned on twitter as a joke that my kittens should take acting lessons because they do the "it wasn't me, I'm innocent"-face so well and all of a sudden someone sends me a link to a website about acting! Someone who doesn't follow me nor do I follow him. And I did mention KITTENS in that tweet.
Also, as I started to get more and more hooker/porn star followers I decided to change my twitter name. I really really liked my twitter name but as it could be construed as something less than legal/up-and-up, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The last straw was a follower who had a picture of (his) butt as his profile picture. Naked butt I might add.
How does a Finnish cat with an American name speak Swedish? I know Brooklyn is like the world's most intelligent cat but Dunkin Donuts is more of a pretty face...so how does she have a Swedish intonation to her meowing? Her meow's go up at the end, not like Finnish which is kinda even or ends going down. It's very riksvenska. And she's been really vocal this christmas.
It just came to me. Had to share. And in case you're some random person reading this, I'm not really crazy nor do I believe my cats can speak in tongues. Also, she sounds like bird when she's excited and purring.
I'll go back to trying to record her meowing now...maybe I'll be able to prove it!
p.s. Social media and twitter in particular are weird media...I mentioned on twitter as a joke that my kittens should take acting lessons because they do the "it wasn't me, I'm innocent"-face so well and all of a sudden someone sends me a link to a website about acting! Someone who doesn't follow me nor do I follow him. And I did mention KITTENS in that tweet.
Also, as I started to get more and more hooker/porn star followers I decided to change my twitter name. I really really liked my twitter name but as it could be construed as something less than legal/up-and-up, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The last straw was a follower who had a picture of (his) butt as his profile picture. Naked butt I might add.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Snowman
What an inspiring christmas weather we have! I don't remember weather this blah on christmas since...years ago? Last christmas we had more snow than north pole and the 3 christmases before that I spent in New York so snow was a crap shoot anyway. But this is just sad. It was raining yesterday and it hasn't really snowed that much this year yet, if it even will. I think Santa's sleigh might get stuck in this weather. And the only snowman you'll see is on TV.
In spite of the crappy weather have a merry christmas! Hyvää Joulua! God Jul!
In spite of the crappy weather have a merry christmas! Hyvää Joulua! God Jul!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Classic!
Now, when I eventually have american friends visiting me here, the first thing I'm gonna do is fight with them and end up in jail! What am I talking about? Adam Lambert is visiting his boyfriend Sauli for x-mas and during a little partying at DTM last night they got into a fight with each other and ended up in jail... I was watching Sauli's little show on Iltasanomat on Monday where he was talking about the places he was gonna show Adam...I did end it before it was finished so I'm not exactly sure of the places he mentioned but I doubt jail was one of them! Anyway... This is what it must have looked like!
Brooklyn and Dunkin Donuts boxing. I tried so hard not to laugh at them.
And this is them in "jail".
Brooklyn and Dunkin Donuts boxing. I tried so hard not to laugh at them.
Monday, December 19, 2011
X-mas miracle
I know I already posted once today but this was too exciting to wait till tomorrow!
I just played FETCH with Brooklyn for like 10 times in a row! Dunkin Donuts was participating too but she didn't bring the ball back! Of course, as soon as I took the camera and started videoing it, Brooklyn became camera shy! I will see if I can capture it tomorrow! It'll be on youtube in no time!
I just played FETCH with Brooklyn for like 10 times in a row! Dunkin Donuts was participating too but she didn't bring the ball back! Of course, as soon as I took the camera and started videoing it, Brooklyn became camera shy! I will see if I can capture it tomorrow! It'll be on youtube in no time!
Recycling Center of El Viiru
Let's make it short and sweet again. Lots to say, no patience to write. When did I lose all my patience???
It's good to know I'm not the only one who is having trouble talking like normal person when interacting with Dunkin Donuts and Brooklyn. Marianne was here on Thursday and she's just as bad as I am with the baby talk! But you would understand and most likely be like me if you met the little terrorists yourself. I mean they are seriously cute. And fluffy. And beautiful. And adorable. And intelligent. They just require few "Ohhhh's" and "Awww's". There's nothing you can do. I think we, as humans, are conditioned to do that when facing cute fluffy kittens. It's natural. It's in our DNA. Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Elviira had invited us to go check out their new house (now that they've actually moved in) and Marianne offered me a ride there so she came over beforehand to check the kittens. She hasn't seen them since the day they moved in so it was about time since they've grown so much. We gossiped a little, had some glögi and joulutorttu and then I kicked Elviira's butt in WII bowling few times before getting tired (I'm not in shape) and losing the third one. And then it was time to do some "saving the planet" and take home some of their left over furniture that had become expendable in the new place. I got myself a living room table, new drawer for the bathroom and one for the hallway that we carried in yesterday. It's like my living room could be their "town home" with almost all the furniture coming from them. And they live in the "'burbs" now...
I went to see the movie "New Year's Eve" yesterday with Elviira and Finland was very well represented in the movie. Michelle Pfeiffer was carrying a Marimekko bag in her first scenes and John Lithgow was playing Angry Birds! Angry Birds has obviously taken over the world and there is, I believe, a Marimekko store in NYC so it's not so surprising to find Marimekko in New York City. Movie itself was cute chick flick but won't win any Oscars anytime soon.
The casualties left behind by the terrorists are mounting. First it was the iPod earphones they chewed through, then it was one of the speakers for my computer and/or iPod and now yesterday I realized they chewed the other speaker as well! Awesome! So no speakers...means no listening to iPod, right? Wrong! I realized that even though I don't have the iDog speaker I got from Santa few x-mases ago because it's either in fresh kills landfill in NYC or in other top secret location, I DO have the cable that goes with it and the cable, after a little jiggling, goes into the AUX inlets in my stereo system so I can listen to it on big speakers! I'm so brilliant sometimes I even surprise myself. And all this while writing this post and bitching about the weapons of mass destruction ruining my things!
I think that's about it for now...I will try to post before the week is over but if not...Merry merry and happy happy!
Friday, December 9, 2011
Hormones
I took Brooklyn and Dunkin Donuts to see the vet last week and as I suspected, they had ticks in their ears. She gave them the medicine and told me to come back for a check up in a month. She also told me that I should probably have them neutered at 6 months old to prevent accidental litters. Which would be in 2 months from now as they are celebrating their 4-month birthdays today.
Ever since then I've been keeping an close eye on Brooklyn. I think he's becoming a hormonal teenager. He's definitely meowing more than he used to and he's sometimes acting a little too friendly/aggressive towards DD. And his little pee pee's out. I find that there are all kinds of things you need to think about when you have kittens. Like I said before, with Sox and Bailey all these things were taken care of. And they were old and peaceful.
Earlier today I was thinking about taking Brooklyn outside to use some of his excess energy. He's running from the door to the living room and back like a crazy cat and then he's jumping on the kitchen counters like 5 times in a row even after I tell him NO and spray him. And it's funny cuz they definitely know that kitchen counters are of limits and when they hear me getting off the couch they jump off. And run off to hide. And then they do it again.
I have now entered the bribing stages of the leash training. I don't give them treats anymore unless we walk from the kitchen to the front door twice. I dangle a bag of treats in front of them and when we're done they each get a treat. When they are done I take the leashes off. That way hopefully at some point they'll learn that even if they don't see the bag, they'll get a treat after we're done. I also thought that it would be good to train them together but I think BK might be ready to go outside sooner. He's more outgoing so trying to watch him and get DD to walk at the same time is almost impossible at this stage. I've taken them out to the balcony and BK wants to see everything but DD is just staying inside so I'm thinking BK should do fine on his own. Plus now they are growing so fast that I don't have hands anymore to hold both of them.
We've also tried some human foods that were on the list of acceptable foods their foster mom gave me. The ham I gave them was ok and DD was into boiled eggs too, she kept growling at BK. Bk wasn't a fan. Maybe I'll do one of the recipes I was given for them for x-mas. Little x-mas treat.
I'm debating whether I wanna go outside today at all since the wind is howling like it's a tornado season. But I do like the fact that it's starting to look like a winter wonderland outside! Love snow!
Have a great weekend!
Later
Ever since then I've been keeping an close eye on Brooklyn. I think he's becoming a hormonal teenager. He's definitely meowing more than he used to and he's sometimes acting a little too friendly/aggressive towards DD. And his little pee pee's out. I find that there are all kinds of things you need to think about when you have kittens. Like I said before, with Sox and Bailey all these things were taken care of. And they were old and peaceful.
Earlier today I was thinking about taking Brooklyn outside to use some of his excess energy. He's running from the door to the living room and back like a crazy cat and then he's jumping on the kitchen counters like 5 times in a row even after I tell him NO and spray him. And it's funny cuz they definitely know that kitchen counters are of limits and when they hear me getting off the couch they jump off. And run off to hide. And then they do it again.
I have now entered the bribing stages of the leash training. I don't give them treats anymore unless we walk from the kitchen to the front door twice. I dangle a bag of treats in front of them and when we're done they each get a treat. When they are done I take the leashes off. That way hopefully at some point they'll learn that even if they don't see the bag, they'll get a treat after we're done. I also thought that it would be good to train them together but I think BK might be ready to go outside sooner. He's more outgoing so trying to watch him and get DD to walk at the same time is almost impossible at this stage. I've taken them out to the balcony and BK wants to see everything but DD is just staying inside so I'm thinking BK should do fine on his own. Plus now they are growing so fast that I don't have hands anymore to hold both of them.
We've also tried some human foods that were on the list of acceptable foods their foster mom gave me. The ham I gave them was ok and DD was into boiled eggs too, she kept growling at BK. Bk wasn't a fan. Maybe I'll do one of the recipes I was given for them for x-mas. Little x-mas treat.
I'm debating whether I wanna go outside today at all since the wind is howling like it's a tornado season. But I do like the fact that it's starting to look like a winter wonderland outside! Love snow!
Have a great weekend!
Later
Monday, December 5, 2011
First snow of the year!
It's December 5th and the first snowfall of the season is upon us! YES! Just in time for the gay dance/Independence day celebration tomorrow!
And they say there's no global warming!
And they say there's no global warming!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
What is in a name?
This was just too good not to pass on. A friend of mine shared an article on Facebook which was about Finnish names and what type of personality goes with a name. This is what Jenni means:
"Jenni is a good friend, great girlfriend and even better wife! You're never bored with Jenni and Jenni knows how to take care of her loved ones!"
So there! It's in black and white! "Jenni is a great girlfriend and even BETTER wife! Too bad I can't legally be anybody's wife (yet) but when I can...remember, it's in my name!
I guess that's why they created dating!
"Jenni is a good friend, great girlfriend and even better wife! You're never bored with Jenni and Jenni knows how to take care of her loved ones!"
So there! It's in black and white! "Jenni is a great girlfriend and even BETTER wife! Too bad I can't legally be anybody's wife (yet) but when I can...remember, it's in my name!
I guess that's why they created dating!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Avoidance 101: The cat edition
When you don't want to hear the lecture about what you did wrong, start cleaning yourself.
Below are the pictures of DD and BK that they were "sold" with. Look how small they were!
Below are the pictures of DD and BK that they were "sold" with. Look how small they were!
DD looks so dope in hers...She's really grown into herself! And she's much darker than the picture makes her appear. Her whole face is black now.
And Brooklyn just looks innocent as hell. Right! Brooklyn kind of reminds me of Bailey, actually. Obviously not the coloring but his face reminds me of Bailey's baby face. Just as DD reminds me of Sox.
Brooklyn is starting to look like Maine Coon or Norwegian, just without the tips of hair in the ears.
This is how we hang out in my house! Just chill! Brooklyn is SO mush!
Kitty cat bunk beds!
Is there anything cuter than kittens sleeping together? It's like overload of cuteness!
Brooklyn showing off his bicep workout. We start young in my house. He's actually trying to jump up there but was just a bit off still. In few weeks he'll be big enough to do that. Not looking forward to that!
When kids go quiet you know they're up to no good! Same with kittens. I guess they thought they were laundry and needed to be dried out!
Brooklyn's an avid reader. Or book chewer. Which ever way he learns best I guess... But isn't he cute?
More sleeping kittens.
Brooklyn with a mohican. Or is that DD's tail?
DD decided to borrow TJ's jersey. She's not happy with the way the Eagles have played this season.
Getting acquainted with their harnesses.
Posing with my stuffed animals. Don't BK and TJ look so much alike?
Brooklyn doing his daily yoga.
If that's not the world's cutest kitten tummy than I don't know what is.
Brooklyn's innocent face and DD's paws. I do have a thing for DD's paws too.
Bye!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
1 month celebration
Clearly I'm not the only one who's sensitive to our time together. I've now had the weapons of mass destruction for a month and they have really been on good behavior. Honeymoon of sorts, if you will. There hasn't been any major disasters, they haven't broken anything and the only thing really not cool was DD peeing in my bed the second day they were home. But of all of the glass candle holders and other little nick nacks around, nothing has been broken or fell down. Except yesterday, finally they decided that it's time to start causing some trouble. I was on my way to see my mom, put my wallet, iPod shuffle and keys on the floor, turned around for few minutes and when I went to pick them up, the ear phones for the iPod were chewed into pieces! And shuffle's a funny gadget, it doesn't have any controls except in the ear phones so I can't control it. I can use other ear phones to listen but without remote can't control the volume or change songs, play lists, nothing. Thanks monsters!
I am taking the monsters to the vet today. I think they have ear ticks (I am 100% that that's the accurate English term but don't feel like googling cuz it's so time consuming so just go with it) and I want them to be checked out. They shake their heads a lot and scratch them and have this dark stuff in their ears and according to my pamphlets that's the most likely cause. It's not like I'm really rolling in money but better safe than sorry. Besides, these are my babies! And I don't want it to turn into ear infections or anything more serious.
I was in a adventurous mood yesterday and decided to try to take the monsters outside. Of the apartment at least. Every time I leave the apartment now the terrorists are trying to come with me so I kinda need to move in the speed of light and shut the door in their faces and hope they stay inside. So I put the leashes on them and opened the door. They came out just fine but when it was time to go down the stairs DD wouldn't move and BK was heading down. I'm in the middle of the stairs when the lights go off. My hands are extended as far away from each other as can be and I can't reach the switch. We were able to go down one flight of stairs before I called it quits. DD really wasn't being cooperative and I was basically just wiping the floors with them so it's gonna take some time to get them used to the leashes. Harnesses go on and off easily but leashes are totally different story. Like they do in AA, one day at a time! But at least the stairs are clean now. No mopping necessary!
Gotta go! Later
I am taking the monsters to the vet today. I think they have ear ticks (I am 100% that that's the accurate English term but don't feel like googling cuz it's so time consuming so just go with it) and I want them to be checked out. They shake their heads a lot and scratch them and have this dark stuff in their ears and according to my pamphlets that's the most likely cause. It's not like I'm really rolling in money but better safe than sorry. Besides, these are my babies! And I don't want it to turn into ear infections or anything more serious.
I was in a adventurous mood yesterday and decided to try to take the monsters outside. Of the apartment at least. Every time I leave the apartment now the terrorists are trying to come with me so I kinda need to move in the speed of light and shut the door in their faces and hope they stay inside. So I put the leashes on them and opened the door. They came out just fine but when it was time to go down the stairs DD wouldn't move and BK was heading down. I'm in the middle of the stairs when the lights go off. My hands are extended as far away from each other as can be and I can't reach the switch. We were able to go down one flight of stairs before I called it quits. DD really wasn't being cooperative and I was basically just wiping the floors with them so it's gonna take some time to get them used to the leashes. Harnesses go on and off easily but leashes are totally different story. Like they do in AA, one day at a time! But at least the stairs are clean now. No mopping necessary!
Gotta go! Later
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I kissed a girl...and I liked it?
Yes, this is about Glee.
Let's rant once again about socially important issues...like being gay. Like being gay and in the closet. Like being gay and being outed. Like being gay and coming out. Like being gay openly and proudly.
Being gay is not a desease. Being gay is not a choice. Being gay is not something you do because you're bored with your life or your boyfriend/husband/baby daddy is a douche. Being gay means you were born this way. Being gay means you are attracted to people of your own sex. Girls like girls and boys like boys. Simple. In theory, anyway. Reality is much more complicated.
Being gay means that life is one big coming out party. Every day, whether in your private life, or at work or in the public you have to make a conscious choice to either be who you are and share things about your life (my wife's home with the sick kids...) or act the way you want (hold hands with your love while walking down the street) or stay quiet and alter the way you interact with your loved one. Being gay means you are constantly having feelers out on the atmosphere around you and whether it's even safe to be you, be gay. It means that sometimes you need to scale down your PDA and being you in order to not make people around you uncomfortable.
Being gay means that you need to fight for and be vocal about the basic human rights like marriage, adoption, visitation at hospital and general recognition of your relationship every day for as long as you live because no one else is doing it for you.
Depending on the societal and religious atmosphere and the people around you being gay can either be really easy and wonderful or down right nasty and hard. Representation in the media is not often positive and when we see good role models, we grab on to them and won't let go. Obsess much?
Season 3 of Glee has been dealing with Santana's sexuality. She finally admitted to being gay, she's in a relationship(?) with Brittany, everyone at glee club knows but they don't talk about it. Then one day Finn outs Santana in the middle of the school hallway, it is overheard by someone, it ends up in a political ad and Santana is forced out of the closet without having any say in it. Then in last night's episode Finn decides that Let's embrace your awesomeness and gayness and sing songs about ladies, ladies loving ladies or by ladies who love ladies. It's all good, we're here for you.
Like I've said many times before, my life probably would have been easier have I had the understanding to accept and come out in my teens. It certainly would have kept me from making few mistakes BUT I was not ready so I denied it. I tried the "I'm gonna prove to myself (and everyone else that) I'm straight" -routine and had myself a big ole gay panic. But when I finally admitted it and embraced it I was so much happier for it. But it was my choice. No one forced me out of the closet. Having met T was a huge part of it too. How can you try to build a happy, healthy relationship if you're in the closet and can't share your happiness with the people in your life? There are so many internal hurdles you need to overcome before you can truly be happy and open with yourself and others. Being forced out of the closet can seriously hurt you and should not happen to anyone, no matter what the circumstances are.
So yesterday's episode of Glee, "I kissed a girl" was all about Santana coming out. Sort of. The glee clubbers sang a bunch of songs to show their support, Santana came out to her parents OFF screen (they were ok with it), and to her grandma ON screen, who threw her out. Then all the girls of glee club sang and danced to Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl". I've never liked the song and even though I love watching glee and will be watching that performance more than once in the very near future, I find that song to be very offensive to lesbians. Being gay is not fashionable. Being gay is not something you do because Katy Perry sings about it, or Lady Gaga says she's bi-sexual, or because Angelina Jolie once dated a woman. Kissing girls is not something you do just so that you can say you've done it and so that you can sing along Katy and be "cool for having done it". You don't kiss girls and hope your boyfriend doesn't mind it. You kiss girls because you WANT to. You ENJOY it. And they enjoy kissing you. You kiss girls because kissing boys is icky. Not a choice. You were born this way. It's in your DNA.
And the kicker? Santana and Brittany have not even KISSED yet on screen. Off screen they have sleep overs and take baths together. On screen they hug. On screen they kiss each other on the cheek. So...how can Santana know she likes kissing girls if she hasn't done it?
Guess I'm just a visual kind of person and need to SEE to believe it. If I didn't see it, it's not true/happening. So until I see an on screen smooch, I don't believe Santana knows what she's talking/singing about.
Once again, top notch performance by Naya Rivera and Heather Morris is as adorable as ever!
Moving on but staying in the category of shows with gay characters. You know you're getting old(er) when the moms of the show start being more your thing than the actual main characters! I love Pretty Little Liars and Shay Mitchell as Emily is just delicious beyond words but other than her for obvious reasons (her character is a lesbian), the other 3 main teenage characters are not doing it for me. They're good actresses, they are funny and do their jobs well but they are not attractive for me. But then we get to the mom department and Oh La La, boy are we talking. Laura Leighton (played Sydney on Melrose Place) as Hanna's mom and Holly Marie Combs (Piper on Charmed and Kimberly on Picket Fences) as Aria's mom are super hot!
According to imdb.com Picket Fences was on in USA from 1992 to -96 so I'm thinking it started in Finland around -93 or -94. Looking back now I think Holly Marie Combs was my first celebrity crush. Between Lauren Holly and Holly Marie Combs I didn't know who to cheer for! And yes, Costas Mandylor is hot too and I guess I sort of had a crush on him too but I might have also just been projecting. The rule #1 on being obsessive about a show you watch for the girls is to have a back up guy to talk about. "Costas Mandylor is soooooo hot! I can't wait for tonight when he's on TV" really means "Is is time to drool over Holly and Lauren yet?" I was so gay...SO GAY!
So yes, my gayness shone through even when I wasn't looking! (Is this the way the verb "shine" is used in past tense? If not, "shine through")
Btw, I uploaded 22 videos of the cats on youtube yesterday. You can find them here. And it looks like it was 29. Oops! Not the best quality as my camera is not really made for this but who cares! These are the early days of my babies at home! And I'm a cat-a-razzi of the worst order, so sue me! Or don't watch the videos...but they're cute! Really cute!
Have a great day everyone and remember to watch Venice tonight! www.venicetheseries.com. No more freebies on youtube!
Later
Let's rant once again about socially important issues...like being gay. Like being gay and in the closet. Like being gay and being outed. Like being gay and coming out. Like being gay openly and proudly.
Being gay is not a desease. Being gay is not a choice. Being gay is not something you do because you're bored with your life or your boyfriend/husband/baby daddy is a douche. Being gay means you were born this way. Being gay means you are attracted to people of your own sex. Girls like girls and boys like boys. Simple. In theory, anyway. Reality is much more complicated.
Being gay means that life is one big coming out party. Every day, whether in your private life, or at work or in the public you have to make a conscious choice to either be who you are and share things about your life (my wife's home with the sick kids...) or act the way you want (hold hands with your love while walking down the street) or stay quiet and alter the way you interact with your loved one. Being gay means you are constantly having feelers out on the atmosphere around you and whether it's even safe to be you, be gay. It means that sometimes you need to scale down your PDA and being you in order to not make people around you uncomfortable.
Being gay means that you need to fight for and be vocal about the basic human rights like marriage, adoption, visitation at hospital and general recognition of your relationship every day for as long as you live because no one else is doing it for you.
Depending on the societal and religious atmosphere and the people around you being gay can either be really easy and wonderful or down right nasty and hard. Representation in the media is not often positive and when we see good role models, we grab on to them and won't let go. Obsess much?
Season 3 of Glee has been dealing with Santana's sexuality. She finally admitted to being gay, she's in a relationship(?) with Brittany, everyone at glee club knows but they don't talk about it. Then one day Finn outs Santana in the middle of the school hallway, it is overheard by someone, it ends up in a political ad and Santana is forced out of the closet without having any say in it. Then in last night's episode Finn decides that Let's embrace your awesomeness and gayness and sing songs about ladies, ladies loving ladies or by ladies who love ladies. It's all good, we're here for you.
Like I've said many times before, my life probably would have been easier have I had the understanding to accept and come out in my teens. It certainly would have kept me from making few mistakes BUT I was not ready so I denied it. I tried the "I'm gonna prove to myself (and everyone else that) I'm straight" -routine and had myself a big ole gay panic. But when I finally admitted it and embraced it I was so much happier for it. But it was my choice. No one forced me out of the closet. Having met T was a huge part of it too. How can you try to build a happy, healthy relationship if you're in the closet and can't share your happiness with the people in your life? There are so many internal hurdles you need to overcome before you can truly be happy and open with yourself and others. Being forced out of the closet can seriously hurt you and should not happen to anyone, no matter what the circumstances are.
So yesterday's episode of Glee, "I kissed a girl" was all about Santana coming out. Sort of. The glee clubbers sang a bunch of songs to show their support, Santana came out to her parents OFF screen (they were ok with it), and to her grandma ON screen, who threw her out. Then all the girls of glee club sang and danced to Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl". I've never liked the song and even though I love watching glee and will be watching that performance more than once in the very near future, I find that song to be very offensive to lesbians. Being gay is not fashionable. Being gay is not something you do because Katy Perry sings about it, or Lady Gaga says she's bi-sexual, or because Angelina Jolie once dated a woman. Kissing girls is not something you do just so that you can say you've done it and so that you can sing along Katy and be "cool for having done it". You don't kiss girls and hope your boyfriend doesn't mind it. You kiss girls because you WANT to. You ENJOY it. And they enjoy kissing you. You kiss girls because kissing boys is icky. Not a choice. You were born this way. It's in your DNA.
And the kicker? Santana and Brittany have not even KISSED yet on screen. Off screen they have sleep overs and take baths together. On screen they hug. On screen they kiss each other on the cheek. So...how can Santana know she likes kissing girls if she hasn't done it?
Guess I'm just a visual kind of person and need to SEE to believe it. If I didn't see it, it's not true/happening. So until I see an on screen smooch, I don't believe Santana knows what she's talking/singing about.
Once again, top notch performance by Naya Rivera and Heather Morris is as adorable as ever!
Moving on but staying in the category of shows with gay characters. You know you're getting old(er) when the moms of the show start being more your thing than the actual main characters! I love Pretty Little Liars and Shay Mitchell as Emily is just delicious beyond words but other than her for obvious reasons (her character is a lesbian), the other 3 main teenage characters are not doing it for me. They're good actresses, they are funny and do their jobs well but they are not attractive for me. But then we get to the mom department and Oh La La, boy are we talking. Laura Leighton (played Sydney on Melrose Place) as Hanna's mom and Holly Marie Combs (Piper on Charmed and Kimberly on Picket Fences) as Aria's mom are super hot!
According to imdb.com Picket Fences was on in USA from 1992 to -96 so I'm thinking it started in Finland around -93 or -94. Looking back now I think Holly Marie Combs was my first celebrity crush. Between Lauren Holly and Holly Marie Combs I didn't know who to cheer for! And yes, Costas Mandylor is hot too and I guess I sort of had a crush on him too but I might have also just been projecting. The rule #1 on being obsessive about a show you watch for the girls is to have a back up guy to talk about. "Costas Mandylor is soooooo hot! I can't wait for tonight when he's on TV" really means "Is is time to drool over Holly and Lauren yet?" I was so gay...SO GAY!
So yes, my gayness shone through even when I wasn't looking! (Is this the way the verb "shine" is used in past tense? If not, "shine through")
Btw, I uploaded 22 videos of the cats on youtube yesterday. You can find them here. And it looks like it was 29. Oops! Not the best quality as my camera is not really made for this but who cares! These are the early days of my babies at home! And I'm a cat-a-razzi of the worst order, so sue me! Or don't watch the videos...but they're cute! Really cute!
Have a great day everyone and remember to watch Venice tonight! www.venicetheseries.com. No more freebies on youtube!
Later
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sad faces and guilt tripping
Twice now I've pointed the spray bottle towards Brooklyn without actually squirting him and he just looks at me and then shakes his fur like he actually got wet! He's just too funny! He's so cute. And he's just the biggest little care bear around. He does his thing, eat, poop, play but when he gets tired he comes to his mama and sits on my lap or chest and goes to sleep. And he purrrrrrrs. Love it!
While Dunkin Donuts inherited my good looks, Brooklyn got my intelligence! LOL! I have no doubt that if I put my mind to it I'd have Brooklyn using the toilet bowl in 6 months, tops. He's fascinated by it, in fact there's not much he's not fascinated by. He needs to be in the middle of everything. Often times multiple times and he's stubborn! Will not take no for an answer. He's already figured out the little activation toys. He swats the mouse once and the treats fall out. Dunkin Donuts does not want to work for her treats. She lays down close by and if Brooklyn accidentally leaves anything out, she's there to claim it. But she quits quickly. Brooklyn has really taken into this hunting business. So far my UGG slippers have been dragged from my bedroom to the living room and same with 2 of my stuffed animals. Brooklyn clearly has something against pink and bright blue as one of the animals is pink and white and the other one is a Smurf. He hasn't tried to maul T.J. yet but if he does...watch out because the spray bottle WILL be used! DD was nipping on Garfield which I guess makes her a cannibal. I've taken video of all of this and will upload them on youtube when I have a sec. I will post the link here too.
Dunkin Donuts is still a food nazi. I believe she eats more of the wet food than Brooklyn does and often times Brooklyn leaves before his portion is done and when he does DD moves onto his bowl. Brooklyn eats more of the dry food though. And drinks more I think.
I bought the harnesses for the kitties yesterday. There's still no snow and the temperature has been above freezing so I figured if I can get then accustomed to wearing them and being walked, I will take them outside for a short spin once a day. So far I've been able to master putting the harnesses on them but the walking part...at least in the apartment hasn't been pretty. Good thing the floor is slippery because they lay down and don't budge! They did walk each other yesterday though. I have video of that too! I think pretty much the only video I DON'T have is of them going to the litter box! LOL! And that's something I'm not willing to watch!
I wonder if there's any proven methods for teaching your kittens to SLEEP during night time? Like sleep school for babies. I know I basically have all day and all night to sleep if I feel like it but I still like my sleep during night time and I would love it if I could have the door open and kittens there with me. But no, the minute the lights go off, any movement under the covers sets them off into a wild goose chase! If I have the computer in bed, DD is usually curled up against me and BK is sleeping on my chest but the second I want to sleep, they're up. And every night I start with the good intention of having them there the whole night and having patience but it wears thin pretty quickly. And then I feel bad for throwing them out! And seriously, what is it about kittens and their guilt tripping anyway? They are master manipulators! Every time I catch them from the kitchen counters and spray them, BK especially just lays down, gives me this sad sad face like I'm the one who was being bad and I'm the one who should be sorry. WTF is that all about? And they have the cutest little faces so of course I feel bad and then go all soft and mushy on them. I'm such a sucker for cute little kitten faces.
Till next time...maybe with pictures, or more video. I had a perfect video I wanted to share but blogger refuses to upload it right now...or the 3 times I tried before.
Later!
While Dunkin Donuts inherited my good looks, Brooklyn got my intelligence! LOL! I have no doubt that if I put my mind to it I'd have Brooklyn using the toilet bowl in 6 months, tops. He's fascinated by it, in fact there's not much he's not fascinated by. He needs to be in the middle of everything. Often times multiple times and he's stubborn! Will not take no for an answer. He's already figured out the little activation toys. He swats the mouse once and the treats fall out. Dunkin Donuts does not want to work for her treats. She lays down close by and if Brooklyn accidentally leaves anything out, she's there to claim it. But she quits quickly. Brooklyn has really taken into this hunting business. So far my UGG slippers have been dragged from my bedroom to the living room and same with 2 of my stuffed animals. Brooklyn clearly has something against pink and bright blue as one of the animals is pink and white and the other one is a Smurf. He hasn't tried to maul T.J. yet but if he does...watch out because the spray bottle WILL be used! DD was nipping on Garfield which I guess makes her a cannibal. I've taken video of all of this and will upload them on youtube when I have a sec. I will post the link here too.
Dunkin Donuts is still a food nazi. I believe she eats more of the wet food than Brooklyn does and often times Brooklyn leaves before his portion is done and when he does DD moves onto his bowl. Brooklyn eats more of the dry food though. And drinks more I think.
I bought the harnesses for the kitties yesterday. There's still no snow and the temperature has been above freezing so I figured if I can get then accustomed to wearing them and being walked, I will take them outside for a short spin once a day. So far I've been able to master putting the harnesses on them but the walking part...at least in the apartment hasn't been pretty. Good thing the floor is slippery because they lay down and don't budge! They did walk each other yesterday though. I have video of that too! I think pretty much the only video I DON'T have is of them going to the litter box! LOL! And that's something I'm not willing to watch!
I wonder if there's any proven methods for teaching your kittens to SLEEP during night time? Like sleep school for babies. I know I basically have all day and all night to sleep if I feel like it but I still like my sleep during night time and I would love it if I could have the door open and kittens there with me. But no, the minute the lights go off, any movement under the covers sets them off into a wild goose chase! If I have the computer in bed, DD is usually curled up against me and BK is sleeping on my chest but the second I want to sleep, they're up. And every night I start with the good intention of having them there the whole night and having patience but it wears thin pretty quickly. And then I feel bad for throwing them out! And seriously, what is it about kittens and their guilt tripping anyway? They are master manipulators! Every time I catch them from the kitchen counters and spray them, BK especially just lays down, gives me this sad sad face like I'm the one who was being bad and I'm the one who should be sorry. WTF is that all about? And they have the cutest little faces so of course I feel bad and then go all soft and mushy on them. I'm such a sucker for cute little kitten faces.
Till next time...maybe with pictures, or more video. I had a perfect video I wanted to share but blogger refuses to upload it right now...or the 3 times I tried before.
Later!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
The great hunter
If I was living in the countryside and needed a great mouse cat, Brooklyn and DD would be perfect for the job. They clearly have great hunting instincts, as you can see from this video
If only there was some protein in that catch! I've caught him dragging that slipper from the bedroom to the living room 4 times now and he's not giving up!
It's funny how they know instinctually that something they're doing is wrong but still keep on doing it. Now that they are athletic enough to jump on the kitchen counters I hear them getting up there ALL the time but when I get to kitchen they have already jumped down. It's like the second I get up from the couch they know I'm coming and they know the spray bottle is coming too. And now they flee. They don;t just sit around looking all cute and innocent, they run away from me. They are totally taunting me! When they get on the desk or kitchen table and I come at them with the spray bottle they take it like it's nothing. They flinch a little but don't necessarily leave. With the kitchen counters it's different. Weird. You would think that with being sprayed enough times they'd learn NOT to do it but no...not these 2. I guess they think they can out-run me.
Venice season 1 and 2 are up on their Youtube channel every weekend during season 3. So you have few months to check it out!
Have a great weekend. Later
If only there was some protein in that catch! I've caught him dragging that slipper from the bedroom to the living room 4 times now and he's not giving up!
It's funny how they know instinctually that something they're doing is wrong but still keep on doing it. Now that they are athletic enough to jump on the kitchen counters I hear them getting up there ALL the time but when I get to kitchen they have already jumped down. It's like the second I get up from the couch they know I'm coming and they know the spray bottle is coming too. And now they flee. They don;t just sit around looking all cute and innocent, they run away from me. They are totally taunting me! When they get on the desk or kitchen table and I come at them with the spray bottle they take it like it's nothing. They flinch a little but don't necessarily leave. With the kitchen counters it's different. Weird. You would think that with being sprayed enough times they'd learn NOT to do it but no...not these 2. I guess they think they can out-run me.
Venice season 1 and 2 are up on their Youtube channel every weekend during season 3. So you have few months to check it out!
Have a great weekend. Later
Friday, November 25, 2011
Kodak moment
I'm so happy, my gaydar works!!! Ever since I saw this cashier at a local store I just KNEW he was gay. Well, I was like 95% sure he was gay. I was as sure about it as I was about Alvaro back at MSU international office and he turned out to be gay. You just gotta love social media! And how did I find out for sure? He looked up my profile on the Finnish equivalent of gay facebook. I, of course, don't have a picture up there so he might not know who I am, but I know who HE is and I know that he's gay so...I win! YAY for my gaydar! Of course this does absolutely nothing to help with the ladies but I've always known my gaydar works better on men than women so I'm just gonna have to live with it.
There is absolutely NOTHING that Brooklyn and Dunkin Donuts can do that is not worth snapping a picture of. Nothing. They are cute when they sleep, they're cute when they eat, they are cute when they purr, they are cute when they play, they are even cute when they annoy the hell out of me. They are just CUTE. I now basically have my camera with me at all times just so that I don't miss anything. Except when I go to the bathroom. Which would just be gross. But I'm missing great pictures ops. And now I'm really beginning to think that at least with Brooklyn I might have a shot of teaching him how to use the human toilet bowl. DD just hands out but Brooklyn gets up close and personal. When I flush, he gets up on his back paws and leans in and watches the water swirl. And after I left he just laid on top of the lid. I went to get my camera but he had moved already by the time I got back there.
I'm seeing the beginning stages of crazy-cat-lady-syndrom coming on. I talk about my cats all the time, I talk TO my cats all the time and I'm all sweet and sugary mush with them. And the baby talk. Please! It is just physically impossible to NOT talk to them like they're babies. Or like they understand anything I'm saying. But seriously, have you seen them? How cute are they?
Here's a video of Dunkin Donuts taking on a banana. Fruits can just be...dangerous and scary!
Brooklyn the great hunter got himself an UGG slipper earlier today which was caught on film but I'll post it another day.
To go back to my post from yesterday regarding Venice and TV shows... The thing about network shows with lesbian characters that annoy me is the hesitancy of which they touch each other. And the lack of intimacy and showing of affection. Not sure if it's the actresses, the directing, the network or what but with so many of these so called couples you wouldn't know they are a couple unless it's specifically addressed. With Grey's Anatomy season 7 once Callie and Arizona were "happy together" they acted like friends. If you didn't know they were "married"you'd never would have gotten it from the way they acted towards each other. The straight couples on the show were going at it like bunnies but the lesbian couple didn't even touch each other. No hand holding, no hair playing, no touching the face and NO kissing. With Brittany and Santana on Glee, unless they specifically mention that Santana is a lesbian or has the hots for Brittany you don't see it eaither. And they have not even kissed yet.
With Venice you don't see any hesitancy when Gina and Ani or Ani and Lara interact with each other and they've got the affection down to perfection. I don't necessarily need to see them going at it like bunnies but the fact that they can makes all the difference. And let's face it, NOT kissing or touching ever draws more attention than the occasional kiss or a hug. So to conclude...the acting on Venice is organic and relatable. And this concludes my gay rant.
There is absolutely NOTHING that Brooklyn and Dunkin Donuts can do that is not worth snapping a picture of. Nothing. They are cute when they sleep, they're cute when they eat, they are cute when they purr, they are cute when they play, they are even cute when they annoy the hell out of me. They are just CUTE. I now basically have my camera with me at all times just so that I don't miss anything. Except when I go to the bathroom. Which would just be gross. But I'm missing great pictures ops. And now I'm really beginning to think that at least with Brooklyn I might have a shot of teaching him how to use the human toilet bowl. DD just hands out but Brooklyn gets up close and personal. When I flush, he gets up on his back paws and leans in and watches the water swirl. And after I left he just laid on top of the lid. I went to get my camera but he had moved already by the time I got back there.
I'm seeing the beginning stages of crazy-cat-lady-syndrom coming on. I talk about my cats all the time, I talk TO my cats all the time and I'm all sweet and sugary mush with them. And the baby talk. Please! It is just physically impossible to NOT talk to them like they're babies. Or like they understand anything I'm saying. But seriously, have you seen them? How cute are they?
Here's a video of Dunkin Donuts taking on a banana. Fruits can just be...dangerous and scary!
Brooklyn the great hunter got himself an UGG slipper earlier today which was caught on film but I'll post it another day.
To go back to my post from yesterday regarding Venice and TV shows... The thing about network shows with lesbian characters that annoy me is the hesitancy of which they touch each other. And the lack of intimacy and showing of affection. Not sure if it's the actresses, the directing, the network or what but with so many of these so called couples you wouldn't know they are a couple unless it's specifically addressed. With Grey's Anatomy season 7 once Callie and Arizona were "happy together" they acted like friends. If you didn't know they were "married"you'd never would have gotten it from the way they acted towards each other. The straight couples on the show were going at it like bunnies but the lesbian couple didn't even touch each other. No hand holding, no hair playing, no touching the face and NO kissing. With Brittany and Santana on Glee, unless they specifically mention that Santana is a lesbian or has the hots for Brittany you don't see it eaither. And they have not even kissed yet.
With Venice you don't see any hesitancy when Gina and Ani or Ani and Lara interact with each other and they've got the affection down to perfection. I don't necessarily need to see them going at it like bunnies but the fact that they can makes all the difference. And let's face it, NOT kissing or touching ever draws more attention than the occasional kiss or a hug. So to conclude...the acting on Venice is organic and relatable. And this concludes my gay rant.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Venice the Series
I never thought I'd pay for a subscription to watch a show on the internet, especially in my financial situation but here I am, paying for Venice the Series. I've talked about the importance of positive role models for gay youth and even adults who are trying to come to terms with their sexuality and how important it is to see LGBT representation on your TV/computer screen. As great as it is to see Callie and Arizona on Grey's Anatomy, Emily and whichever-girl-she's-currently-dating on Pretty Little Liars or Brittany and Santana on Glee, those characters and relationships are still scaled down to suit the sensibilities of the white male christian america. It's kinda ok to be gay as long as no or very little intimacy is shown. For a person living in a country/area/region where it is not cool to be gay TV and web shows might be the only way to get in touch with community and to actually see "happy, content couple" representing their sexual orientation and the type of relationship they might want to have. If your family and society is always telling you being gay is wrong, how will you learn otherwise?
Last spring I was on afterellen.com reading about a possible lesbian couple on an american soap. They had a message board dedicated for the couple and someone mentioned or compared them to "Otalia on Guiding Light", another lesbian soap couple on another soap which had been cancelled few years before. They had a youtube link which I watched and immediately got hooked on. I watched their whole story from beginning to end and I gotta say, it was one of the best if not THE best love story I've ever seen on TV. It took them 1,5 years to do but you could see the slow build up and really understand what their love was based on. BUT, they were never allowed to kiss or do anything more than hug or "head bump" on screen. And the hugging really decreased once they were actually "dating". While they were still just friends and roommates they hugged quite a lot. Beautiful love story but very frustrating. Had I watched it in real time I'd probably would have pulled my hair out!
The actresses playing "Otalia", Olivia and Natalia, Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia had mad mad MAD chemistry. And their hot. Like super hot. And they were willing to do more than what the network gave them. So when the show was cancelled Crystal created Venice to continue to work the story, chemistry and fan base they've cultivated during the Otalia storyline. Which is where paying for a subscription comes in. In order to do more than network TV was willing to show they needed to go online. No outside censorship, but also no network money or advertisers.
Yesterday was the 3rd season premiere and I was eagerly waiting by my computer at 10pm when the episode came online. First people gracing your screen are Crystal and Jessica's characters Gina and Ani in bed together. What a great start! Is it next Wednesday already???
Not to forget my viewing pleasure but among other things the music is great. They use a lot of indie/no-name musicians who've submitted their songs to be used on Venice and I personally have broaden my horizons when it comes to music because of Venice. And I've actually bought the songs via iTunes instead of downloading them from other sites. Because it turns out I am actually willing to pay for quality. And for my rights. And for awareness. And for class acts like Crystal to continue to do what she does for my community. So...if you want to see what the fuzz is all about, you can see the first episode of every season on Youtube, just search Venice the Series. Their channel also has behind the scenes material and "talking about season 3"thingy do where Crystal talks with some of the cast members about the upcoming season. She and Jessica are so funny together. And cute. So cute. It is impossible not to smile when you look at them. It also might be because I'm a lesbian. And I totally heart them. And I feel a little pervy for totally hearting straight women who have husbands and kids at home but I do. If I was Catholic I'd go to confession but since I'm not I'm just gonna... go see the first scene from last night's episode.
And here's the music to accompany that scene.
Gia Ciambotti- Right as Rain
www.venicetheseries.com
http://www.youtube.com/user/venicetheseries
Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate!
Last spring I was on afterellen.com reading about a possible lesbian couple on an american soap. They had a message board dedicated for the couple and someone mentioned or compared them to "Otalia on Guiding Light", another lesbian soap couple on another soap which had been cancelled few years before. They had a youtube link which I watched and immediately got hooked on. I watched their whole story from beginning to end and I gotta say, it was one of the best if not THE best love story I've ever seen on TV. It took them 1,5 years to do but you could see the slow build up and really understand what their love was based on. BUT, they were never allowed to kiss or do anything more than hug or "head bump" on screen. And the hugging really decreased once they were actually "dating". While they were still just friends and roommates they hugged quite a lot. Beautiful love story but very frustrating. Had I watched it in real time I'd probably would have pulled my hair out!
The actresses playing "Otalia", Olivia and Natalia, Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia had mad mad MAD chemistry. And their hot. Like super hot. And they were willing to do more than what the network gave them. So when the show was cancelled Crystal created Venice to continue to work the story, chemistry and fan base they've cultivated during the Otalia storyline. Which is where paying for a subscription comes in. In order to do more than network TV was willing to show they needed to go online. No outside censorship, but also no network money or advertisers.
Yesterday was the 3rd season premiere and I was eagerly waiting by my computer at 10pm when the episode came online. First people gracing your screen are Crystal and Jessica's characters Gina and Ani in bed together. What a great start! Is it next Wednesday already???
Not to forget my viewing pleasure but among other things the music is great. They use a lot of indie/no-name musicians who've submitted their songs to be used on Venice and I personally have broaden my horizons when it comes to music because of Venice. And I've actually bought the songs via iTunes instead of downloading them from other sites. Because it turns out I am actually willing to pay for quality. And for my rights. And for awareness. And for class acts like Crystal to continue to do what she does for my community. So...if you want to see what the fuzz is all about, you can see the first episode of every season on Youtube, just search Venice the Series. Their channel also has behind the scenes material and "talking about season 3"thingy do where Crystal talks with some of the cast members about the upcoming season. She and Jessica are so funny together. And cute. So cute. It is impossible not to smile when you look at them. It also might be because I'm a lesbian. And I totally heart them. And I feel a little pervy for totally hearting straight women who have husbands and kids at home but I do. If I was Catholic I'd go to confession but since I'm not I'm just gonna... go see the first scene from last night's episode.
And here's the music to accompany that scene.
Gia Ciambotti- Right as Rain
www.venicetheseries.com
http://www.youtube.com/user/venicetheseries
Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Conditioning
Once again I have too much going on in my brain and no patience to draw it out so I'm just gonna post quickly. I've been thinking that I'll probably post a little something about the kittens once a day if I don't have anything major going on or anything important to say.
I am proud to announce that Pavlov would be so proud of me and my ability to condition cats! I have now successfully conditioned a second set of cats into thinking that me making coffee equals them getting fed! It might be true in the morning but the afternoon coffee does not necessarily mean you are getting fed at that time too. And if I don't make coffee then does it mean you don't get any food at all that day?
Sox and Bailey were following me like hawks every morning making demands for food while I made my coffee. Dunkin Donuts and Brooklyn have taken similar approach. Understandable in the morning but during the afternoon, not so much. They could be sleeping soundly and when I start working on the coffee machine they'll be there keeping me company. All though if I'm having Dunkin Donuts, shouldn't Dunkin Donuts have something too?
This conditioning only works on coffee/feeding though. Even though I wheel my power over them by using my spray bottle when they do something they're not supposed to, as soon as I sit my ass back down on the couch they're back to bad habits. And now they have grown enough to be able to jump on the kitchen counters...I sprayed Brooklyn about 5 times in a row one day and he just doesn't learn. Same with my desk. And the kitchen table. Those I can somewhat tolerate but the kitchen counters are a definite no no. I don't have anything to shield the stove tops with after I've cooked so them getting up there and possibly burning their little paws is not something I want to happen. Need to go buy something to cover them with.
Tonights gonna be a great night! I am taking myself to see Twilight. I put it out on Facebook that I am going and would love some company but apparently nobody in Forssa wants to see it. Or are too ashamed to admit it! So I'm going alone. And then tonight at 10pm central Jenni time...Venice season 3 is back on! Woo Hoo! DD and BK are excited too.
Gotta go! Later
I am proud to announce that Pavlov would be so proud of me and my ability to condition cats! I have now successfully conditioned a second set of cats into thinking that me making coffee equals them getting fed! It might be true in the morning but the afternoon coffee does not necessarily mean you are getting fed at that time too. And if I don't make coffee then does it mean you don't get any food at all that day?
Sox and Bailey were following me like hawks every morning making demands for food while I made my coffee. Dunkin Donuts and Brooklyn have taken similar approach. Understandable in the morning but during the afternoon, not so much. They could be sleeping soundly and when I start working on the coffee machine they'll be there keeping me company. All though if I'm having Dunkin Donuts, shouldn't Dunkin Donuts have something too?
This conditioning only works on coffee/feeding though. Even though I wheel my power over them by using my spray bottle when they do something they're not supposed to, as soon as I sit my ass back down on the couch they're back to bad habits. And now they have grown enough to be able to jump on the kitchen counters...I sprayed Brooklyn about 5 times in a row one day and he just doesn't learn. Same with my desk. And the kitchen table. Those I can somewhat tolerate but the kitchen counters are a definite no no. I don't have anything to shield the stove tops with after I've cooked so them getting up there and possibly burning their little paws is not something I want to happen. Need to go buy something to cover them with.
Tonights gonna be a great night! I am taking myself to see Twilight. I put it out on Facebook that I am going and would love some company but apparently nobody in Forssa wants to see it. Or are too ashamed to admit it! So I'm going alone. And then tonight at 10pm central Jenni time...Venice season 3 is back on! Woo Hoo! DD and BK are excited too.
Gotta go! Later
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Cup of Dunkin Donuts with Dunkin donuts and Brooklyn...but not in Brooklyn
This single mom thing is hard. I mean, there's no one to help with the diapers...um, litter box, no one to help with the feeding(s) and no one to help with the midnight wake ups. And with twins...super hard.
I went to bed at 11pm on Friday night because I got sig saw patterns on my line of vision, which means on-coming migraine. The headache was not there yet but since I didn't have a lot of pain medicine I decided that a dark room was my best bet. And I figured lets have the kittens with me. I also felt bad for them since I took away their hiding place. We covered the bottom of the couch with a fabric so they can't go inside the couch anymore which is where they slept and took refuge every time they did something bad or heard louder-than-normal voices or I was chasing them with the spray bottle. So I went to see where they were sleeping and decided to let them come with me. Trying to teach kittens how we sleep in my household while migraine's lurking around the corner? What the fuck was I thinking??? Even though they started out ok, they got up and got wild every time I went to the bathroom to moisten my towel so needless to say, out they went. And the good thing with a 3 month old kittens? They don't know how to beg yet! At least they haven't learned how to use their pathetic meowing to their advantage yet. You locked Bailey and Sox outside a room and ALL you heard was meowing. (I was not the disciplinarian in that household cuz I caved). These don't do it yet so I can do this, leave them outside the bedroom while I get some shut eye. Oh, and their chosen place of sleep if not my bed? My desk!
Then last night I figured ok, lets try this again. I'm clearly a sucker for punishment! I was watching a show on my computer in bed and left the door ajar. Soon enough the little monsters came inside and settled down. No toe or finger chasing happened at all. But then when I put the lights out they became super mush and were all over me. Brooklyn decided to sleep on my chest, sprawled across me. I moved an inch and the purring started. Since cats don't sleep very deeply every movement causes them to wake up. And now that they have their jingle bells on, their movement means I wake up. It's a vicious cycle. Getting adjusted to sleeping with kittens is like getting adjusted to a new lover. It's a helluva change. You're trying to be on your best behavior as to not to disturb the other but in the end neither is relaxed. Or sleeping.
In between 2 and 5 am I think the kittens woke me up about 5 times. Every time they woke up one of them had to come lick my hand or face and start purring and get a little attention. So basically as soon as I fell asleep one of them was waking me up. By 5am I'd had enough and just threw them out and closed the door. And wouldn't you know I woke up before the alarm went off.
Brooklyn is super mush. Like he's a total mama's boy. After he eats and it's nap time he comes over, walks all over my computer and makes himself at home in my lap. He needs hugs and kisses and petting and scratching and he just sprawls out and doesn't move. Dunkin Donuts is not as obvious in her pursuit of lovin' so by the time she'll be ready to settle down in my lap Brooklyn has already taken over. So usually DD sits down next to me. Overall DD is little more independent than Brooklyn is. When they sleep together, DD thinks Brooklyn as her own personal mattress. More times than I can remember (or have had my camera ready) I've seen DD flop herself on top of Brooklyn and go to sleep. Brooklyn usually doesn't mind. They are so cute together.
And let me just tell you...Dunkin Donuts is probably the most beautiful cat in the whole world. Like seriously beautiful. And she has clearly figured out my obsession with fat/fluffy kitten/cat tummy. I mean that girl can use her fluffy tummy like there's no tomorrow. And she has an extra fluffy black and white tummy that just begs to be petted and scratched! And before you know it she's attacking your hands. Will I ever learn? All though she's not seriously trying to harm you, just play with you.
I've also learned the proper attire for living with kittens. Learned it the hard way. My upper thighs look like a frigging mountain climbing site with all the claw marks the monsters have left by trying to climb up my legs. And FUCK but it hurts! So, industrial grade fishing overalls would probably be best just to make sure the claws cannot penetrate the fabric or your skin. Sweatshirts are better than zip ups. Hood is not advisable because it means strings, which means when you bend over, CLAWS IN YOUR FACE! And these monsters are not coordinated enough to adjust their distance so if the end of the string is near your face, look out eyes! And it's not like they tap you nice and easy either. They come claws a blazing and ask questions later. If ever. Also, dangling zipper parts with zipper open is an open invitation for them to climb your thighs. Just an FYI. Learned that too the hard way. And they attack you when you don't pay attention.
I bought new cat litter on Friday and the jury is still out. The cats seem to like it as I feel like they've been to the bathroom more frequently since then but I haven't cleaned the box yet so I don't know how it works yet. But the sales rep recommended this litter and said it doesn't get caught in the paws and should transfer less. So far I think I've seen more litter outside the box than with the previous litter plus it's so fine grained that it gets stuck in their long furs. Especially Dunkin Donuts' tail was full of it. But we'll see. So far no comments or reactions from the weapons of mass destruction.
I also bought different wet food for them. And based on how fast they chowed it down, they liked it. The scary pamphlets said that kittens don't like change and litter and food changes should be done gradually. Well so far they've been ok with everything I've done with them. Just gotta make sure they are well adjusted and are used to all kinds of foods we should be ok.
Oa also bought claw clippers. Neither was especially cooperative so I figured I'll lull them to sleep and attack them then. It was a all day project and I believe DD has whole mani and one paw pedi and Brooklyn has whole pedi and one paw mani! And this is not something I'm willing to let go as I am not ready to be permanently their own personal Himalayan trail! So they are getting their claws clipped and they'll like it! We still have teeth brushing and harness wearing to look forward to! I would actually really love to take them outside for a little walk around the building since it's still not super cold outside but my budget doesn't have room for harnesses just yet. Maybe Santa will bring them...
I am continuing my "Coming out tour of 2011" by being an "alive book" at the living library tomorrow. For those of you who don't know the concept, instead of borrowing books you borrow human beings and talk to them for about 20 minutes. A group of Danish students came up with the idea few years ago to combat prejudice between people. So my book cover says "Lesbian" and I put few words and sentences in it which are often associated with lesbians. People will see my cover and maybe think that hey, I wonder if the lesbians really all are masculine flannel wearing, crew cut sporting man haters...? Maybe I'll go see for myself and educate myself. I believe there should be about 20 of us books and among which we have a police, transgendered woman, unemployed, a lesbian, person with MS, person with eating disorder, former junkie...etc etc. We are not supposed to borrow other books but while in the back area we can talk among ourselves so one person I'm personally hoping to talk to is that transgendered woman. I have never knowingly met any transgendered people nor has anyone ever told me they know someone and to meet one in Forssa in a place like this? I'm hoping to have a chat with her. It would also help with my training in case I ever do go to a school to educate them about LTBT issues. That's tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.
During those 3 weeks that the terrorists have been with me I have taken over 600 pictures! Channelling my inner paparazzi! Too bad my camera isn't better because I've missed some kodak moments but its ok. I still have plenty and will share more of them soon.
Till next time.
I went to bed at 11pm on Friday night because I got sig saw patterns on my line of vision, which means on-coming migraine. The headache was not there yet but since I didn't have a lot of pain medicine I decided that a dark room was my best bet. And I figured lets have the kittens with me. I also felt bad for them since I took away their hiding place. We covered the bottom of the couch with a fabric so they can't go inside the couch anymore which is where they slept and took refuge every time they did something bad or heard louder-than-normal voices or I was chasing them with the spray bottle. So I went to see where they were sleeping and decided to let them come with me. Trying to teach kittens how we sleep in my household while migraine's lurking around the corner? What the fuck was I thinking??? Even though they started out ok, they got up and got wild every time I went to the bathroom to moisten my towel so needless to say, out they went. And the good thing with a 3 month old kittens? They don't know how to beg yet! At least they haven't learned how to use their pathetic meowing to their advantage yet. You locked Bailey and Sox outside a room and ALL you heard was meowing. (I was not the disciplinarian in that household cuz I caved). These don't do it yet so I can do this, leave them outside the bedroom while I get some shut eye. Oh, and their chosen place of sleep if not my bed? My desk!
Then last night I figured ok, lets try this again. I'm clearly a sucker for punishment! I was watching a show on my computer in bed and left the door ajar. Soon enough the little monsters came inside and settled down. No toe or finger chasing happened at all. But then when I put the lights out they became super mush and were all over me. Brooklyn decided to sleep on my chest, sprawled across me. I moved an inch and the purring started. Since cats don't sleep very deeply every movement causes them to wake up. And now that they have their jingle bells on, their movement means I wake up. It's a vicious cycle. Getting adjusted to sleeping with kittens is like getting adjusted to a new lover. It's a helluva change. You're trying to be on your best behavior as to not to disturb the other but in the end neither is relaxed. Or sleeping.
In between 2 and 5 am I think the kittens woke me up about 5 times. Every time they woke up one of them had to come lick my hand or face and start purring and get a little attention. So basically as soon as I fell asleep one of them was waking me up. By 5am I'd had enough and just threw them out and closed the door. And wouldn't you know I woke up before the alarm went off.
Brooklyn is super mush. Like he's a total mama's boy. After he eats and it's nap time he comes over, walks all over my computer and makes himself at home in my lap. He needs hugs and kisses and petting and scratching and he just sprawls out and doesn't move. Dunkin Donuts is not as obvious in her pursuit of lovin' so by the time she'll be ready to settle down in my lap Brooklyn has already taken over. So usually DD sits down next to me. Overall DD is little more independent than Brooklyn is. When they sleep together, DD thinks Brooklyn as her own personal mattress. More times than I can remember (or have had my camera ready) I've seen DD flop herself on top of Brooklyn and go to sleep. Brooklyn usually doesn't mind. They are so cute together.
And let me just tell you...Dunkin Donuts is probably the most beautiful cat in the whole world. Like seriously beautiful. And she has clearly figured out my obsession with fat/fluffy kitten/cat tummy. I mean that girl can use her fluffy tummy like there's no tomorrow. And she has an extra fluffy black and white tummy that just begs to be petted and scratched! And before you know it she's attacking your hands. Will I ever learn? All though she's not seriously trying to harm you, just play with you.
I've also learned the proper attire for living with kittens. Learned it the hard way. My upper thighs look like a frigging mountain climbing site with all the claw marks the monsters have left by trying to climb up my legs. And FUCK but it hurts! So, industrial grade fishing overalls would probably be best just to make sure the claws cannot penetrate the fabric or your skin. Sweatshirts are better than zip ups. Hood is not advisable because it means strings, which means when you bend over, CLAWS IN YOUR FACE! And these monsters are not coordinated enough to adjust their distance so if the end of the string is near your face, look out eyes! And it's not like they tap you nice and easy either. They come claws a blazing and ask questions later. If ever. Also, dangling zipper parts with zipper open is an open invitation for them to climb your thighs. Just an FYI. Learned that too the hard way. And they attack you when you don't pay attention.
I bought new cat litter on Friday and the jury is still out. The cats seem to like it as I feel like they've been to the bathroom more frequently since then but I haven't cleaned the box yet so I don't know how it works yet. But the sales rep recommended this litter and said it doesn't get caught in the paws and should transfer less. So far I think I've seen more litter outside the box than with the previous litter plus it's so fine grained that it gets stuck in their long furs. Especially Dunkin Donuts' tail was full of it. But we'll see. So far no comments or reactions from the weapons of mass destruction.
I also bought different wet food for them. And based on how fast they chowed it down, they liked it. The scary pamphlets said that kittens don't like change and litter and food changes should be done gradually. Well so far they've been ok with everything I've done with them. Just gotta make sure they are well adjusted and are used to all kinds of foods we should be ok.
Oa also bought claw clippers. Neither was especially cooperative so I figured I'll lull them to sleep and attack them then. It was a all day project and I believe DD has whole mani and one paw pedi and Brooklyn has whole pedi and one paw mani! And this is not something I'm willing to let go as I am not ready to be permanently their own personal Himalayan trail! So they are getting their claws clipped and they'll like it! We still have teeth brushing and harness wearing to look forward to! I would actually really love to take them outside for a little walk around the building since it's still not super cold outside but my budget doesn't have room for harnesses just yet. Maybe Santa will bring them...
I am continuing my "Coming out tour of 2011" by being an "alive book" at the living library tomorrow. For those of you who don't know the concept, instead of borrowing books you borrow human beings and talk to them for about 20 minutes. A group of Danish students came up with the idea few years ago to combat prejudice between people. So my book cover says "Lesbian" and I put few words and sentences in it which are often associated with lesbians. People will see my cover and maybe think that hey, I wonder if the lesbians really all are masculine flannel wearing, crew cut sporting man haters...? Maybe I'll go see for myself and educate myself. I believe there should be about 20 of us books and among which we have a police, transgendered woman, unemployed, a lesbian, person with MS, person with eating disorder, former junkie...etc etc. We are not supposed to borrow other books but while in the back area we can talk among ourselves so one person I'm personally hoping to talk to is that transgendered woman. I have never knowingly met any transgendered people nor has anyone ever told me they know someone and to meet one in Forssa in a place like this? I'm hoping to have a chat with her. It would also help with my training in case I ever do go to a school to educate them about LTBT issues. That's tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.
During those 3 weeks that the terrorists have been with me I have taken over 600 pictures! Channelling my inner paparazzi! Too bad my camera isn't better because I've missed some kodak moments but its ok. I still have plenty and will share more of them soon.
Till next time.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Knowledge is power
I remember like it was yesterday when my history teacher told us that knowledge is power. The more knowledge you have, the more powerful you'll be. In theory anyway.
I've had my little weapons of mass destructions for little over 2 weeks now and we've gotten really friendly now. Their little personalities are developing and they're still wrestling the hell out of each other. The day I picked them up as we were watching the 8 kittens tear the place apart we were discussing those poor little people who only adopted one kitten without having another cat at home to teach the kitten some manners. Well, After watching these 2 go at it for the past 2 weeks, I'm not sure if just one cat would have been so bad! LOL! No...they keep each other company and even though I just pulled a junk of Brooklyn's fur out of Dunkin Donuts' mouth, I wouldn't have it any other way. I may have chosen DD but Brooklyn chose me. And I couldn't be happier.
For the most past my apartment hasn't suffered too much. It seems I did good with the toys I bought them since so far they are the once suffering the most. Other then the once accident DD had in my bed they've done their business in the litter box. I'm actually seriously thinking about teaching them to go to the real bathroom as when I do my business they NEED to be there with me. Never fails. They might be in the middle of their nap inside the couch but as soon as I go to the bathroom they're there as well.
After the first three nights were up and down I had 4 nights of uninterrupted sleep. Then I tried to get them to sleep with me in the bedroom which resulted in them chasing my feet and arms under the covers with all the imagined movements as well. Needless to say I wasn't happy and wasn't about to chance them attacking my face in the middle of the night so out they went. Since then I've tried to have them there every night but we end up in the same place. Them outside and the door firmly closed.
I've tried to teach them where they are allowed. Like kitchen table and my desk are off limits. Still working on those. My computer is fascinating to them, especially the movement of the mouse pointer. That they could chase forever. That spray bottle gives me more power though than knowledge does! I just shake it and they flee! LOL! They are not really chewing electric wires but they like to play with the once belonging to my speaker systems. I just sit on the couch and shake the bottle!
Along with the kittens came a little welcome packages filled with pamphlets, measuring cup, activations toys and food samples. I've been reading those pamphlets and lemme tell you, they are SCARY! With Sox and Bailey being senior citizens by the time I came into their lives and T being the primary parent I was there for the spoiling and companionship. The hard part of raising them was already behind and all their habits, good or bad and all their personalities and quirks were already in place so it's not like I could "mold" them or teach them all that much, if at all. Now with these 2, they are like little play dough's, I can mold them every which way I choose to. And also control their diets. S C A R Y! Of course I don't want them to get sick and of course I want them to live looooooong and happy and healthy lives... but reading those pamphlets makes me just feel inadequate! " The first year of your kittens live is very important and will set the course for the rest of it's life", " Between the months of 3 and 6 kittens grow 15 times faster than human babies...", "It's important to give your kitten the energy it required without over feeding it", grocery store bought kitten food doesn't have as much meat in them as pet store food does"...etc etc. ( BTW, Brooklyn is now trying to write this post for me). So basically, if I don't feed them the most expensive and meatiest food, they will have all kinds of developmental problems or might get obese or won't get all the nutrients they need...eye sight loss...losing fur...weak bones... Why did I wanna be in charge of 2 kittens again??? NEVER READ THOSE PAMPHLETS!!!
As a super poor single mother I'm feeding them whiskas. And I'm reading the feeding instructions and so far it seems that they're working. They get wet food twice a day and dry food is available all the time. I give them wet food and fresh water in the morning and dry and wet food in the evening. And lemme tell ya, they have PLENTY of energy to terrorize the apartment! It's like living in the race tracks when they start chasing each other and wrestling! Hurts me just looking at it how they bite each other. OUCH!
Both of them like the brush. I really enjoyed brushing Sox and Bailey and now with one half long and one long haired cat they need it too. Brooklyn takes it like a man but DD has to wrestle the brush all the way. And she purrs like there's no tomorrow. They are both such an insta-purrs! Just scratch their butts and the purring starts. It's awesome.
They are both also very social and inquisitive. They get up and personal with everybody really quickly. My mom, who is not a cat person had them both in her lap at one point. Such a difference from Sox and B. They were not new-people persons at all. But I miss them. So much. Every once in a while I mistakenly think DD is Sox. Haven't called her that yet but it's the tuxedo. and the socks. DD is just longer haired. She's so fluffy. I love it. And the hair between her toes. Awww. Even though I feel like a 2 year old with my new favorite word being "NO", I would not change this for the world! I love my little terrors and if not anything else, they make me smile!
I put the collars on the kittens today. As you can see from the video from below, Brooklyn was NOT happy! Then he took a long nap and now he's protesting again. Trying to get it off. Not happy that he's jingling like Santa's sleigh! And they're not stealth anymore. I might not be happy during the night when they run around the apartment but we'll see. As far as I'm concerned, the collars are here to stay.
As you can see the agenda on my blog has changed a little...I'm now including kittens!
So much to tell but not enough time. Till next time!
I've had my little weapons of mass destructions for little over 2 weeks now and we've gotten really friendly now. Their little personalities are developing and they're still wrestling the hell out of each other. The day I picked them up as we were watching the 8 kittens tear the place apart we were discussing those poor little people who only adopted one kitten without having another cat at home to teach the kitten some manners. Well, After watching these 2 go at it for the past 2 weeks, I'm not sure if just one cat would have been so bad! LOL! No...they keep each other company and even though I just pulled a junk of Brooklyn's fur out of Dunkin Donuts' mouth, I wouldn't have it any other way. I may have chosen DD but Brooklyn chose me. And I couldn't be happier.
For the most past my apartment hasn't suffered too much. It seems I did good with the toys I bought them since so far they are the once suffering the most. Other then the once accident DD had in my bed they've done their business in the litter box. I'm actually seriously thinking about teaching them to go to the real bathroom as when I do my business they NEED to be there with me. Never fails. They might be in the middle of their nap inside the couch but as soon as I go to the bathroom they're there as well.
After the first three nights were up and down I had 4 nights of uninterrupted sleep. Then I tried to get them to sleep with me in the bedroom which resulted in them chasing my feet and arms under the covers with all the imagined movements as well. Needless to say I wasn't happy and wasn't about to chance them attacking my face in the middle of the night so out they went. Since then I've tried to have them there every night but we end up in the same place. Them outside and the door firmly closed.
I've tried to teach them where they are allowed. Like kitchen table and my desk are off limits. Still working on those. My computer is fascinating to them, especially the movement of the mouse pointer. That they could chase forever. That spray bottle gives me more power though than knowledge does! I just shake it and they flee! LOL! They are not really chewing electric wires but they like to play with the once belonging to my speaker systems. I just sit on the couch and shake the bottle!
Along with the kittens came a little welcome packages filled with pamphlets, measuring cup, activations toys and food samples. I've been reading those pamphlets and lemme tell you, they are SCARY! With Sox and Bailey being senior citizens by the time I came into their lives and T being the primary parent I was there for the spoiling and companionship. The hard part of raising them was already behind and all their habits, good or bad and all their personalities and quirks were already in place so it's not like I could "mold" them or teach them all that much, if at all. Now with these 2, they are like little play dough's, I can mold them every which way I choose to. And also control their diets. S C A R Y! Of course I don't want them to get sick and of course I want them to live looooooong and happy and healthy lives... but reading those pamphlets makes me just feel inadequate! " The first year of your kittens live is very important and will set the course for the rest of it's life", " Between the months of 3 and 6 kittens grow 15 times faster than human babies...", "It's important to give your kitten the energy it required without over feeding it", grocery store bought kitten food doesn't have as much meat in them as pet store food does"...etc etc. ( BTW, Brooklyn is now trying to write this post for me). So basically, if I don't feed them the most expensive and meatiest food, they will have all kinds of developmental problems or might get obese or won't get all the nutrients they need...eye sight loss...losing fur...weak bones... Why did I wanna be in charge of 2 kittens again??? NEVER READ THOSE PAMPHLETS!!!
As a super poor single mother I'm feeding them whiskas. And I'm reading the feeding instructions and so far it seems that they're working. They get wet food twice a day and dry food is available all the time. I give them wet food and fresh water in the morning and dry and wet food in the evening. And lemme tell ya, they have PLENTY of energy to terrorize the apartment! It's like living in the race tracks when they start chasing each other and wrestling! Hurts me just looking at it how they bite each other. OUCH!
Both of them like the brush. I really enjoyed brushing Sox and Bailey and now with one half long and one long haired cat they need it too. Brooklyn takes it like a man but DD has to wrestle the brush all the way. And she purrs like there's no tomorrow. They are both such an insta-purrs! Just scratch their butts and the purring starts. It's awesome.
They are both also very social and inquisitive. They get up and personal with everybody really quickly. My mom, who is not a cat person had them both in her lap at one point. Such a difference from Sox and B. They were not new-people persons at all. But I miss them. So much. Every once in a while I mistakenly think DD is Sox. Haven't called her that yet but it's the tuxedo. and the socks. DD is just longer haired. She's so fluffy. I love it. And the hair between her toes. Awww. Even though I feel like a 2 year old with my new favorite word being "NO", I would not change this for the world! I love my little terrors and if not anything else, they make me smile!
I put the collars on the kittens today. As you can see from the video from below, Brooklyn was NOT happy! Then he took a long nap and now he's protesting again. Trying to get it off. Not happy that he's jingling like Santa's sleigh! And they're not stealth anymore. I might not be happy during the night when they run around the apartment but we'll see. As far as I'm concerned, the collars are here to stay.
As you can see the agenda on my blog has changed a little...I'm now including kittens!
So much to tell but not enough time. Till next time!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Little terrors
So after 15 months of catlessness I dediced no more! no mas! Enough already. So about a month ago I started looking at the cat adoption websites and even found a cat that spoke to me. Unfortunately she was already taken by the time I got around asking about her so I went on to another website. I figured there has to be litters of kittens around my neck of the woods and lo and behold, there was. And what a cute little litter it was. I called them, went to see them and lost my heart.
A humane society close by had a mama cat with 8 kittens that were ready to go home on first of November. That was 3 weeks ago. The day when I went to see them, not 1st of November. 5 of the 8 were already reserved so I was looking at the 3 remaining. I was just gonna take one. She was ash grey/black with white paws and chest and tummy. She also had the longest fur of the punch. I love fat cats but if it can't be fat, fluffy is a very good choice too. It was a no brainer. Then I saw him. And I just couldn't not take him too. He's black and white and has a cow print on his fur. Guess I'm not over that yet, huh? I realized the pattern few days before I picked them up. Just could not leave him behind. So instead of one terrorist, I now have 2.
They came home on Tuesday. I took them out of the carrier and put them into the litter box. They hang out there for about 20 minutes before I went to take them out. They scoped out the place, played with their toys a little and went for a nap. Was fairly easy day. No accidents.
Yesterday they found their way under the couch and into the foundation. Under the couch is big enough for them to get under but small enough for me not be able to get them out of there. And then there are crevices there where I can't reach even with the cushions off so now they have a new hiding place where I can't reach. Awesome. They slept the night inside the couch so I was all alone. Poor me.
This morning I had a dentist appointment at 8am. Just before I had to leave Dunkin Donuts decided to pee on my blanket. She did give me a fair warning beforehand by meowing loud and long but stupid new mom me didn't know what that meant yet so I caught her in the act. Threw her in the litter box and washed the blanket. Yippii!
On my way home I went and bought cat repellant. Supposedly keeps cats from unwanted places. Yeah, not so much, at least not yet anyway. I caught the kitties, put them in the kitchen and proceeded to spray it all around the couch and inside the crevices so hopefully they wouldn't go inside the couch again. As soon as I opened the doors, there they were under the couch again. The bottle did say to use it twice a day for a week and the cats would learn not to go there. I want results NOW!
Marianne suggested to buy a spray bottle, fill it with water and spray the kitties when they do something they're not supposed to. So I'm now spraying them when they go to explore my desk or chew electric wires. So far seems to work, or at least they're not happy to been sprayed. They're still little kittens though so I guess I should expect all this. OPut they will learn to obey the master! Oh yes they will! LOL! I'm so whipped. Slaved. And besides, who could say no to these faces?
5 of their siblings. 6 of the 8 are mid to long hair, only 2 are short. Daddy must have been long haired.
A humane society close by had a mama cat with 8 kittens that were ready to go home on first of November. That was 3 weeks ago. The day when I went to see them, not 1st of November. 5 of the 8 were already reserved so I was looking at the 3 remaining. I was just gonna take one. She was ash grey/black with white paws and chest and tummy. She also had the longest fur of the punch. I love fat cats but if it can't be fat, fluffy is a very good choice too. It was a no brainer. Then I saw him. And I just couldn't not take him too. He's black and white and has a cow print on his fur. Guess I'm not over that yet, huh? I realized the pattern few days before I picked them up. Just could not leave him behind. So instead of one terrorist, I now have 2.
They came home on Tuesday. I took them out of the carrier and put them into the litter box. They hang out there for about 20 minutes before I went to take them out. They scoped out the place, played with their toys a little and went for a nap. Was fairly easy day. No accidents.
Yesterday they found their way under the couch and into the foundation. Under the couch is big enough for them to get under but small enough for me not be able to get them out of there. And then there are crevices there where I can't reach even with the cushions off so now they have a new hiding place where I can't reach. Awesome. They slept the night inside the couch so I was all alone. Poor me.
This morning I had a dentist appointment at 8am. Just before I had to leave Dunkin Donuts decided to pee on my blanket. She did give me a fair warning beforehand by meowing loud and long but stupid new mom me didn't know what that meant yet so I caught her in the act. Threw her in the litter box and washed the blanket. Yippii!
On my way home I went and bought cat repellant. Supposedly keeps cats from unwanted places. Yeah, not so much, at least not yet anyway. I caught the kitties, put them in the kitchen and proceeded to spray it all around the couch and inside the crevices so hopefully they wouldn't go inside the couch again. As soon as I opened the doors, there they were under the couch again. The bottle did say to use it twice a day for a week and the cats would learn not to go there. I want results NOW!
Marianne suggested to buy a spray bottle, fill it with water and spray the kitties when they do something they're not supposed to. So I'm now spraying them when they go to explore my desk or chew electric wires. So far seems to work, or at least they're not happy to been sprayed. They're still little kittens though so I guess I should expect all this. OPut they will learn to obey the master! Oh yes they will! LOL! I'm so whipped. Slaved. And besides, who could say no to these faces?
Brooklyn
Dunkin Donuts with Dunkin Donuts
Nap time
The litter. Nice selections of colors and patterns considering the mama.
Brooklyn and Dunkin D
Dunkin Donuts
Dunkin D has some serious cattitude!
Oh yes I did! I named my cat Dunkin Donuts! No starbucks though. Might as well have named my cat ulcer then! LOL! This way I won't forget the great coffee and from where to get it from...like I could! And Brooklyn, well Brooklyn was one of the names I was thinking when we talked about having kittens, back in the day, after Sox and B were gone. And I did live in Brooklyn too. I did briefly consider naming Brooklyn "Red Lobster" but decided against it! LOL! Poor cat named after shellfish.
So there you go. The little terrors in cute furry camouflage are home now. And back inside the couch sleeping after wreaking havoc in my apartment for over an hour. Maybe I should nap too. It's been awhile since the last time I saw what 7am looked like!
Friday, October 28, 2011
Fucked up dreams.
If this is how my muscles feel like after spending an evening with 5 gay boys, how will I feel when I spend it with lesbians???
I discovered yesterday that speaking English and writing it are two totally different things! It's been awhile since the last chance I had to speak it so last night while I was at Tampere Seta's international rainbow group trying to explain myself I hit a few road pumps. Writing is so much easier. Seriously.
Now to my dream from last night. I hope this is not a foreshadowing of any kind...and you'll know why next week. But anyway, back to my dream. It involved Dunkin Donuts. I was somewhere, no idea where and all of a sudden Lea is there, sitting next to me. We talk for awhile about the break up and then it gets quiet. Then the next time I look over Lea has all of sudden turned into Shari. I just lost it so I had to walk away for a while. I walked into the local Dunkin Donuts (obviously we're in somewhere on the east coast of US of A) and ordered my usual (medium iced blueberry, light with cream). When the guy comes back he hands me a cup with no ice and a shot of espresso on the bottom of the cup. I ask him where's the cream and he proceeds to FILL THE CUP with CREAM! Now medium sized iced coffee cup in DD is about 4 or 5 deciliters so this cup had maybe 1dl of coffee and 4dl of cream. No way Jose! I gave it back and asked for my real order. And let's not forget that iced coffee does NOT have a shot of espresso in it, it's straight up coffee so what the fuck he was giving me a espresso shot for is beyond me.
As I'm waiting for the pimply faced teenager to give me my order I become aware of the group of guys behind me. One of them is giving me looks I don't appreciate and I become agitated and little worried. At this point I've waited for my coffee for like 30 minutes and I'm losing my mind. When the guy finally comes to me he has a large iced coffee that's way too dark for my liking. I ask him "Blueberry, right?" And he replies "caramel". I think about this for a second as I really want my coffee but at the same time it's the wrong flavor with the wrong dairy. Large size be damned, this is my first DD since coming to USA and I want it the way I like it! So I tell him, and at this point I'm tongue tied, that I want it the way I ordered it. And what comes out of my mouth is "Strawberry". STRAWBERRY? Seriously?!? Strawberry! I'm not even sure of they have that flavor in real life but I sure as hell do NOT want strawberry, but the pimply faced boy takes off and I'm left to wait once more.
After waiting for my coffee once again for extended amount of time I ask to see the manager. I explain the situation to him and at this point the DD has slowed down significantly so almost all the workers are hanging out around where I'm waiting. Then from the other side of the store comes a girl with my coffee in hand with 2 insurance company workers on her trail with oversized insurance folder and pen and the workers around me start to hum "here comes the insurance people"... The girl hands me my coffee and the insurance people hand me the paperwork to sign so that this incident does not hike up the stores insurance premiums! Crisis averted...or so they seem to think. I woke up before I could taste my coffee so I don't know if it was strawberry flavored, if it was good or what happened next but all I know is that I'm drinking my hazelnut flavored DD coffee at home right now and thoroughly enjoying myself. If I fuck up the coffee there's no one but me to blame!
I don't know where Lea and Shari came from to my dream, but DD is pretty obvious...and yesterday I was gonna go to get an iced coffee at Tampere but was late because of my detour going in and enjoyed the the gay boys so much that I stayed later than I thought too. So no iced coffee for me. Source of frustrating dreams, perhaps?
I discovered yesterday that speaking English and writing it are two totally different things! It's been awhile since the last chance I had to speak it so last night while I was at Tampere Seta's international rainbow group trying to explain myself I hit a few road pumps. Writing is so much easier. Seriously.
Now to my dream from last night. I hope this is not a foreshadowing of any kind...and you'll know why next week. But anyway, back to my dream. It involved Dunkin Donuts. I was somewhere, no idea where and all of a sudden Lea is there, sitting next to me. We talk for awhile about the break up and then it gets quiet. Then the next time I look over Lea has all of sudden turned into Shari. I just lost it so I had to walk away for a while. I walked into the local Dunkin Donuts (obviously we're in somewhere on the east coast of US of A) and ordered my usual (medium iced blueberry, light with cream). When the guy comes back he hands me a cup with no ice and a shot of espresso on the bottom of the cup. I ask him where's the cream and he proceeds to FILL THE CUP with CREAM! Now medium sized iced coffee cup in DD is about 4 or 5 deciliters so this cup had maybe 1dl of coffee and 4dl of cream. No way Jose! I gave it back and asked for my real order. And let's not forget that iced coffee does NOT have a shot of espresso in it, it's straight up coffee so what the fuck he was giving me a espresso shot for is beyond me.
As I'm waiting for the pimply faced teenager to give me my order I become aware of the group of guys behind me. One of them is giving me looks I don't appreciate and I become agitated and little worried. At this point I've waited for my coffee for like 30 minutes and I'm losing my mind. When the guy finally comes to me he has a large iced coffee that's way too dark for my liking. I ask him "Blueberry, right?" And he replies "caramel". I think about this for a second as I really want my coffee but at the same time it's the wrong flavor with the wrong dairy. Large size be damned, this is my first DD since coming to USA and I want it the way I like it! So I tell him, and at this point I'm tongue tied, that I want it the way I ordered it. And what comes out of my mouth is "Strawberry". STRAWBERRY? Seriously?!? Strawberry! I'm not even sure of they have that flavor in real life but I sure as hell do NOT want strawberry, but the pimply faced boy takes off and I'm left to wait once more.
After waiting for my coffee once again for extended amount of time I ask to see the manager. I explain the situation to him and at this point the DD has slowed down significantly so almost all the workers are hanging out around where I'm waiting. Then from the other side of the store comes a girl with my coffee in hand with 2 insurance company workers on her trail with oversized insurance folder and pen and the workers around me start to hum "here comes the insurance people"... The girl hands me my coffee and the insurance people hand me the paperwork to sign so that this incident does not hike up the stores insurance premiums! Crisis averted...or so they seem to think. I woke up before I could taste my coffee so I don't know if it was strawberry flavored, if it was good or what happened next but all I know is that I'm drinking my hazelnut flavored DD coffee at home right now and thoroughly enjoying myself. If I fuck up the coffee there's no one but me to blame!
I don't know where Lea and Shari came from to my dream, but DD is pretty obvious...and yesterday I was gonna go to get an iced coffee at Tampere but was late because of my detour going in and enjoyed the the gay boys so much that I stayed later than I thought too. So no iced coffee for me. Source of frustrating dreams, perhaps?
Friday, October 21, 2011
PMS water
So I have been thinking about inventions. Getting rich, you know? Coming up with a product that would sell like crazy and I think I figured it out. The only thing is, I'm not smart enough to actually create it. And what is it, you ask?
I had my period this week. TMI, I know. But when it's that time of the month, my kidneys are yelling at me and they work on overtime. I go to the bathroom like once every hour when usually I go maybe 4 times a day. I feel like my kidneys are just pushing out every single drop of liquid I have in my body to the point where there's no more to process. I drink crazy amounts of water and nothing helps...not even the vitamin and mineral waters that are supposed to make your skin look healthier or your nails grow stronger or whatever else the bottles say they'll do. So why is it that with over 3 billion women on this earth ALL suffering from some degree of pain during their period there is no product to help you with that? Which brings us to my inventions...or idea at this point but still...throwing this out to the universe: PMS WATER! Seriously!?! Wouldn't it be awesome if you could drink a bottle of water designed to help with your PMS'ing? That would help with the screaming kidneys, the lower stomach pain/cramps and at the same time help you drink your required amount of water per day?
I just don't know what the ingredients would be, which is why I will never get any financial gain from this awesome product but if any of my readers are smart enough to figure this out, send me a sample! And you're welcome!
When PMS water hits the stands, remember you heard it here first!
Song of the day: Venice Beach by Jenn Foster. Great song and Venice is coming back in a month!
I had my period this week. TMI, I know. But when it's that time of the month, my kidneys are yelling at me and they work on overtime. I go to the bathroom like once every hour when usually I go maybe 4 times a day. I feel like my kidneys are just pushing out every single drop of liquid I have in my body to the point where there's no more to process. I drink crazy amounts of water and nothing helps...not even the vitamin and mineral waters that are supposed to make your skin look healthier or your nails grow stronger or whatever else the bottles say they'll do. So why is it that with over 3 billion women on this earth ALL suffering from some degree of pain during their period there is no product to help you with that? Which brings us to my inventions...or idea at this point but still...throwing this out to the universe: PMS WATER! Seriously!?! Wouldn't it be awesome if you could drink a bottle of water designed to help with your PMS'ing? That would help with the screaming kidneys, the lower stomach pain/cramps and at the same time help you drink your required amount of water per day?
I just don't know what the ingredients would be, which is why I will never get any financial gain from this awesome product but if any of my readers are smart enough to figure this out, send me a sample! And you're welcome!
When PMS water hits the stands, remember you heard it here first!
Song of the day: Venice Beach by Jenn Foster. Great song and Venice is coming back in a month!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Learn from my mistakes
Reasons why:
- The deodorant doesn't work? It's finished
- Digibox doesn't turn on? You're pressing the mute button!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Cat(s)
I don't have a cat.
I know I don't have a cat.
Then why do I see one in the mirror?
Few nights ago as I was sitting on my couch all of a sudden I hear a crash coming from the direction of my bedroom/hallway/closet/bathroom. I went to see what was happening and realized that 3 of the 6 squares of mirror in the hallway had come crashing down. The double sided tape holding them on the wall had lost all the glue and the top one just brought the 2 others down with it. I put one of them back up since the tape was still holding but the 2 others I just put on the floor against the wall. Ever since then, when I've gone to the kitchen I see movement in the mirror and for some reason always think it's a cat. Even though I don't have one! And every time it startles me. I think this is one more sign that I really should get a cat. The fever certainly is there. Or maybe I'm just going crazy?
I started a cat fund few weeks ago. So the process of saving money for a cat is alive but not so well. I mean it takes just a little more money than 31 euros... I have also narrowed the possible names to 3. or maybe 4. We'll see.
I know I don't have a cat.
Then why do I see one in the mirror?
Few nights ago as I was sitting on my couch all of a sudden I hear a crash coming from the direction of my bedroom/hallway/closet/bathroom. I went to see what was happening and realized that 3 of the 6 squares of mirror in the hallway had come crashing down. The double sided tape holding them on the wall had lost all the glue and the top one just brought the 2 others down with it. I put one of them back up since the tape was still holding but the 2 others I just put on the floor against the wall. Ever since then, when I've gone to the kitchen I see movement in the mirror and for some reason always think it's a cat. Even though I don't have one! And every time it startles me. I think this is one more sign that I really should get a cat. The fever certainly is there. Or maybe I'm just going crazy?
I started a cat fund few weeks ago. So the process of saving money for a cat is alive but not so well. I mean it takes just a little more money than 31 euros... I have also narrowed the possible names to 3. or maybe 4. We'll see.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
California
I hear it calling.
I feel the pull.
I don't know why because there's nothing there for me.
But I feel like that's where I should be.
The restlessness is settling on me, the same restlessness that I was feeling before I moved to NJ.
I know this feeling.
Time to move on, move away, move.
Weird.
I feel the pull.
I don't know why because there's nothing there for me.
But I feel like that's where I should be.
The restlessness is settling on me, the same restlessness that I was feeling before I moved to NJ.
I know this feeling.
Time to move on, move away, move.
Weird.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
9/11/01
You can't help but get goose bumps on this day whenever you hear stories about that day. Doesn't matter whether you are happy or sad, this day always makes you stop and think about how precious life is.
When I was in my room watching it unfold on my TV till the early hours in the morning, I didn't know I would be so thankful later on that someone made it out of there alive. This day will forever remind me of T.
9/11/2001. Never Forget.
When I was in my room watching it unfold on my TV till the early hours in the morning, I didn't know I would be so thankful later on that someone made it out of there alive. This day will forever remind me of T.
9/11/2001. Never Forget.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Old age
Does not come alone. I'm thinking I'm not a fan of my 30's AT. ALL. With it comes all the aches and pains that a body can sustain. I have only been 31 for 4 days but so far I have pulled my neck muscles when stretching yesterday morning which means that I can't turn my head well or lift anything heavy without a lot of pain, and pulling my groin this morning. The neck pain is also radiating to my lower back. Good times if there ever were any!
My brother found an apartment. He moved this past weekend, so now there's only my step dad living in the yellow house. This time last year the 4 of us were all cramped up under one roof. Now we are all in different addresses. Welcome home Jenni! Welcome home! It was the one thing that I thought would always be there. Now when I move away from Forssa there really is no reason for me to come back to this town. In a way I feel homeless.
Anyhoo...
My brother found an apartment. He moved this past weekend, so now there's only my step dad living in the yellow house. This time last year the 4 of us were all cramped up under one roof. Now we are all in different addresses. Welcome home Jenni! Welcome home! It was the one thing that I thought would always be there. Now when I move away from Forssa there really is no reason for me to come back to this town. In a way I feel homeless.
Anyhoo...
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Birthday wishes
For the 1st time since 2005 I am spending my birthday as a single woman. So, to celebrate...
You and me both Keith...You and me both!
And a job.
And world peace.
Universe, are you listening???
You and me both Keith...You and me both!
And a job.
And world peace.
Universe, are you listening???
Friday, September 2, 2011
Reflections
Well, we are headed to the last hours of my 31st year on this earth. I think it's time to reflect on the last year and maybe how to move forward. It has definitely NOT been the best year of my life, but at the same time it has taught me a lot about myself, life, love, relationships...
A year ago I was celebrating my birthday week. T was here and we were going on a cruise to Sweden. I wanted to show her what all was possible to do, not only in Finland but in Scandinavia and in Europe. How there were possibilities after possibilities within reach and how we could go see all the countries we wanted to, just few short hours away. Boy did I fail! LOL! That was the beginning of the end.
At the end of September she wrote on her blog saying she couldn't move to Finland. Moving outside USA was not an option for her. I was devastated and she asked my opinion on her blog post. What do you say to a post that basically crashes all of your dreams of ever being together? I could not find a job from USA and she was not willing to move to be with me. Tick tock...
Then she asked for time and space. Sure, take all the time you need...how much more space can I give you when we had the Atlantic Ocean between us? She had started to appreciate her own time, her own space without having to share it with anyone. 3..2...1...
Our 4 and half years together came and went and she told me I shouldn't expect to hear from her. She was visiting a friend and was 10 time zones away. Out of reach, at least from me. I was always the one who remembered anniversaries, no matter how small or insignificant to others. This was my first love, my first relationship, and every day together was a gift. For me, 4 and half years together was a big deal. I had a lump in my throat all the time. It was just a matter of time...and Boom!
Phone call at 5:30am. I can't do this anymore. That was it. Nothing I could do or say to change it. It was done.
I think I cried for the next 2 months. Non stop. Any and every little thing would just start the waterworks. My iPod was constant loop of love songs, songs that had any meaning in our relationship. Everything was against me. Every little thing reminded me of her. Everything always came back to her. I couldn't escape so I cried. It's a miracle I didn't suffer from dehydration, the amount I cried could have filled an ocean.
The folks were bickering and fighting a lot and in my state I couldn't take it anymore. I started thinking about my own apartment. I had to get away, I had to get my own place and get some privacy and peace. I had to be able to grieve in peace.
I moved to my own place in December. I just sat and grieved and cried and willed the hurt to go away. I didn't celebrate x-mas...nothing to celebrate. She was supposed to come to Finland to celebrate x-mas. Obviously that was not happening. What was there to celebrate?
2011 came. I had some job interviews in Forssa. Nothing took though. I was offered a short project type job in Hämeenlinna, which I took. I had started to think about my future and realized I needed to find my community in Finland. I had no need for one when I came out because I had T and she consumed all my time, but once she was not in my life anymore, I had to start somewhere. I was so angry and felt betrayed by her and by US government and their discriminating marriage and immigration laws that I had to find a way to get into the LGBT community and advocate for my rights.
I found out that SETA was training people to advocate for gay rights in Finland, for people going to schools and camps etc to talk about LGBT issues and rights. As scared as I am of public speaking I figured this was a great place to start. I'd meet other gays and lesbians, maybe make few friends and find purpose. And I did. It was probably the best decision I've done for myself, something that I've done JUST for myself in a really long time. I found Minna that way, and by proxy Heidi and Ella as well.
I was able to go get some of my stuff from NY in May. I still have some stuff there, how much I'm not sure. I'm not even sure where they are or if reality I have anything there. I have not been told if my stuff is somewhere safe or if it was tossed in the trash but I got the most important things I wanted. And in the end, it's just stuff. Stuff can be replaced. Memories I will still always have.
In June I had this urge to move on. To put myself out there, to experience, to make new friends, to live a little. I contacted my new friends from SETA and asked them if I could tag along or join them at Helsinki Pride...party with them at the women's party. Everybody was so gracious, so friendly and so accepting. YES, of course you can join us. So I did. And I marched in my first Pride Parade. I participated in my first Pride Picnic. And I made new friends. And I felt like I belonged.
Few weeks after that I went to Tampere Pride. More fun. More marching. And seeing Susanna after all these years. Making mends. Renewing friendships.
After this year I've learned so much. I've experienced the lowest of lows and some highs. I've learned things about myself I'm not proud of, things I wish I could change and things I hope I will change in the future. I have some regrets, biggest of all obviously T and our failed relationship. It's a long road to recovery but time will heal. It cannot be hurried, it will happen when it's ready. All I can do is to hope I've learned something and when I'm lucky enough to experience love again, I won't make those mistakes again. Now it's time to put the gear in motion, make the changes I want to happen. And believe you me, I know what I want. How I will achieve it...You'll see. Expect a great 32nd year with 2012 coming with a BANG! You have not heard the last from me. The 31 year old Jenni will be stronger than the 30 year old me.
So...good bye 31st year...Welcome future! And to honor the future and to put the past behind... "No more sad songs" by Kyler England.
A year ago I was celebrating my birthday week. T was here and we were going on a cruise to Sweden. I wanted to show her what all was possible to do, not only in Finland but in Scandinavia and in Europe. How there were possibilities after possibilities within reach and how we could go see all the countries we wanted to, just few short hours away. Boy did I fail! LOL! That was the beginning of the end.
At the end of September she wrote on her blog saying she couldn't move to Finland. Moving outside USA was not an option for her. I was devastated and she asked my opinion on her blog post. What do you say to a post that basically crashes all of your dreams of ever being together? I could not find a job from USA and she was not willing to move to be with me. Tick tock...
Then she asked for time and space. Sure, take all the time you need...how much more space can I give you when we had the Atlantic Ocean between us? She had started to appreciate her own time, her own space without having to share it with anyone. 3..2...1...
Our 4 and half years together came and went and she told me I shouldn't expect to hear from her. She was visiting a friend and was 10 time zones away. Out of reach, at least from me. I was always the one who remembered anniversaries, no matter how small or insignificant to others. This was my first love, my first relationship, and every day together was a gift. For me, 4 and half years together was a big deal. I had a lump in my throat all the time. It was just a matter of time...and Boom!
Phone call at 5:30am. I can't do this anymore. That was it. Nothing I could do or say to change it. It was done.
I think I cried for the next 2 months. Non stop. Any and every little thing would just start the waterworks. My iPod was constant loop of love songs, songs that had any meaning in our relationship. Everything was against me. Every little thing reminded me of her. Everything always came back to her. I couldn't escape so I cried. It's a miracle I didn't suffer from dehydration, the amount I cried could have filled an ocean.
The folks were bickering and fighting a lot and in my state I couldn't take it anymore. I started thinking about my own apartment. I had to get away, I had to get my own place and get some privacy and peace. I had to be able to grieve in peace.
I moved to my own place in December. I just sat and grieved and cried and willed the hurt to go away. I didn't celebrate x-mas...nothing to celebrate. She was supposed to come to Finland to celebrate x-mas. Obviously that was not happening. What was there to celebrate?
2011 came. I had some job interviews in Forssa. Nothing took though. I was offered a short project type job in Hämeenlinna, which I took. I had started to think about my future and realized I needed to find my community in Finland. I had no need for one when I came out because I had T and she consumed all my time, but once she was not in my life anymore, I had to start somewhere. I was so angry and felt betrayed by her and by US government and their discriminating marriage and immigration laws that I had to find a way to get into the LGBT community and advocate for my rights.
I found out that SETA was training people to advocate for gay rights in Finland, for people going to schools and camps etc to talk about LGBT issues and rights. As scared as I am of public speaking I figured this was a great place to start. I'd meet other gays and lesbians, maybe make few friends and find purpose. And I did. It was probably the best decision I've done for myself, something that I've done JUST for myself in a really long time. I found Minna that way, and by proxy Heidi and Ella as well.
I was able to go get some of my stuff from NY in May. I still have some stuff there, how much I'm not sure. I'm not even sure where they are or if reality I have anything there. I have not been told if my stuff is somewhere safe or if it was tossed in the trash but I got the most important things I wanted. And in the end, it's just stuff. Stuff can be replaced. Memories I will still always have.
In June I had this urge to move on. To put myself out there, to experience, to make new friends, to live a little. I contacted my new friends from SETA and asked them if I could tag along or join them at Helsinki Pride...party with them at the women's party. Everybody was so gracious, so friendly and so accepting. YES, of course you can join us. So I did. And I marched in my first Pride Parade. I participated in my first Pride Picnic. And I made new friends. And I felt like I belonged.
Few weeks after that I went to Tampere Pride. More fun. More marching. And seeing Susanna after all these years. Making mends. Renewing friendships.
After this year I've learned so much. I've experienced the lowest of lows and some highs. I've learned things about myself I'm not proud of, things I wish I could change and things I hope I will change in the future. I have some regrets, biggest of all obviously T and our failed relationship. It's a long road to recovery but time will heal. It cannot be hurried, it will happen when it's ready. All I can do is to hope I've learned something and when I'm lucky enough to experience love again, I won't make those mistakes again. Now it's time to put the gear in motion, make the changes I want to happen. And believe you me, I know what I want. How I will achieve it...You'll see. Expect a great 32nd year with 2012 coming with a BANG! You have not heard the last from me. The 31 year old Jenni will be stronger than the 30 year old me.
So...good bye 31st year...Welcome future! And to honor the future and to put the past behind... "No more sad songs" by Kyler England.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Aging
It's happening. Can't help it. On Saturday I'll be once again a year older. Well, 5 days older than what I'm now. Thirty One. 31. Three and one. I'm not sure how I feel about my age starting with a three yet so... I don't know...I don't feel like I'm (going to be) 31. Don't feel like I'm in my thirties. Don't feel grown up. 30 Was not my year. No sir-rey. Nope. I said 2011 will be my year. So far not so much. But we have few months left. But I've come up with a long term plan. It might just be totally crazy and it might not ever materialize, but I am going to work towards it. Human rights. Civil rights. What I wanted when I was in my teens. It's taken me over a decade to come a full circle and really see what it is that I want to do with my life, to come back to this place. To see. But I do see. I do want. I need. To make a difference. I might hurt some people. I might offend some people. I might get hurt myself. But I need to do this.
Purpose.
Purpose.
Am I crazy?
I really like Justin Bieber's song "Baby". Of course I'm listening to the Glee version as I do NOT have any Biebs on iTunes but that song has been growing on me slowly but surely. I must be delirious!
Must be, since it's 3:30 in the morning.
Must be, since it's 3:30 in the morning.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Things you learn/notice on a evening stroll
I got on a scale few days ago and got the proof first hand that my life preserver in my mid section has in deed gotten bigger. I've only gained +/- 2kg as weight and my pants still fit fine but I'm getting softer, if you know what I mean. Maybe as a result of that I've taken on a new hobby; evening stroll. It also is a useful tool to run some errands. Anyway...I'm now at a weight where I can actually donate blood so it's not like I'm heavy or anything...
So, yesterday I went to take a walk. I was so pissed off that I just had to go outside and take it out on something, so what better than to put on some great motivating music and go pound the pavement. On my walk I had to pass this older couple, maybe in their late 60's or early 70's who were holding hands. It was so cute! I was like "I want that when I'm old" (sooner wouldn't hurt either), to still be in love with someone when your old and grey and smelly enough to want to show that to the world.
Then today I found and ally in the city center that I've never seen before in my life! And mind you, I've lived in this city 24 years of my life so you'd think I'd seen it before. And what's more bizarre, it's about 100 meters from my apartment. Next to the kindergarden I went to when I was a kid. Crazy! And as I came home from said evening stroll, my Facebook newsfeed was full of EARTHQUAKE! Apparently there was an earthquake on the east coast of US of A and everybody is talking about it. Brent Celek, the Tight End for Philadelphia Eagles said on twitter that he dropped a dumbbell...he apologized for it though. But damn, it was felt all the way from DC to NY. That's a lot of land to cover. Mother Earth is pissed!
Speaking of Facebook...it has this new annoying feature that announces your status update from a year ago if you made one. A year ago I was looking forward to my birthday and the ex to arrive to celebrate it with me so I had a countdown. So every day now when I go on to Facebook on the upper right hand side corner I see a number flashing. Annoying, to say the least!
I woke up this morning from a dream that was a little disturbing. In my dream I was in my bed when the front door opened and the landlord came in announcing that the TV license inspector was on his way and I should be prepared. When he leaves, I get out of bed, go to my living room to remove the TV that I don't own, and hide it in the walk-in closet. I get that done but before I'm able to move the digibox or playstation or even dust the TV table, the front door opens again and my landlord and the inspector walk in. I'm trying to explain that I don't own a TV and that the PS and digibox are not really mine but it doesn't fly. And as I really don't have ~500 euros for TV license fees and the interest that not paying it have incurred, I'm in deep shit. But then the Inspector says "How about you pay for 2 weeks and then cancel?" Like he sees this every day and knows how little money people have and just can't come up with the money for it. And I'm like Awww, that's so nice.
Till next time!
So, yesterday I went to take a walk. I was so pissed off that I just had to go outside and take it out on something, so what better than to put on some great motivating music and go pound the pavement. On my walk I had to pass this older couple, maybe in their late 60's or early 70's who were holding hands. It was so cute! I was like "I want that when I'm old" (sooner wouldn't hurt either), to still be in love with someone when your old and grey and smelly enough to want to show that to the world.
Then today I found and ally in the city center that I've never seen before in my life! And mind you, I've lived in this city 24 years of my life so you'd think I'd seen it before. And what's more bizarre, it's about 100 meters from my apartment. Next to the kindergarden I went to when I was a kid. Crazy! And as I came home from said evening stroll, my Facebook newsfeed was full of EARTHQUAKE! Apparently there was an earthquake on the east coast of US of A and everybody is talking about it. Brent Celek, the Tight End for Philadelphia Eagles said on twitter that he dropped a dumbbell...he apologized for it though. But damn, it was felt all the way from DC to NY. That's a lot of land to cover. Mother Earth is pissed!
Speaking of Facebook...it has this new annoying feature that announces your status update from a year ago if you made one. A year ago I was looking forward to my birthday and the ex to arrive to celebrate it with me so I had a countdown. So every day now when I go on to Facebook on the upper right hand side corner I see a number flashing. Annoying, to say the least!
I woke up this morning from a dream that was a little disturbing. In my dream I was in my bed when the front door opened and the landlord came in announcing that the TV license inspector was on his way and I should be prepared. When he leaves, I get out of bed, go to my living room to remove the TV that I don't own, and hide it in the walk-in closet. I get that done but before I'm able to move the digibox or playstation or even dust the TV table, the front door opens again and my landlord and the inspector walk in. I'm trying to explain that I don't own a TV and that the PS and digibox are not really mine but it doesn't fly. And as I really don't have ~500 euros for TV license fees and the interest that not paying it have incurred, I'm in deep shit. But then the Inspector says "How about you pay for 2 weeks and then cancel?" Like he sees this every day and knows how little money people have and just can't come up with the money for it. And I'm like Awww, that's so nice.
Till next time!
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