Well isn't this curious

I was just reading an article on Advocate.com about Miley Cyrus' new tattoo. She had posted a picture on Twitter with a title "all love is equal". Here's a link to her tweet. She took the equality sign on her ring finger... It's all great and dandy but then I saw the tattoo on her pinky.  Now I'm not sure when she took the heart there but all she needs now is a 3rd sign and we are tattoo twins!

Seriously...curious!

Dear Diary

I am staring at my diaries from my teenage years and I'm terrified.
I both want to read them and don't...
I'm afraid to read what I was feeling back then...
I'm afraid I'll flinch at what I've written...
I'm afraid of the blatantly obvious fact that I am SO GAY...
I'm afraid of the blatantly obvious fact that I was so IN DENIAL...

I'm terrified.

In some ways I get very bad moral hangovers. I do not forgive myself easily when it comes to doing stupid things. When I mess up. And unfortunately I do have regrets. I wouldn't be in this bad shape if I didn't have regrets. Right now there are things that I am trying to overcome, trying to figure out and in order to do that I need to read those diaries.

Scary.


Terrified!


P.S. Today would have been my dad's 61st birthday if he was still alive.

Football...the american kind

Let's just quickly talk about the fact that Nnamdi Asomugha is now an EAGLE!!!! Biggest free agent catch of this year? You betcha! Great great player? Absolutely? Great partner for Asante Samuel? YesSirreeee! I predict at least 7 interceptions for Eli Manning against Philly in the regular season...

I'm sad about the rumor(?) I read on Twitter about Steward Bradley being traded to Arizona though....he was my favorite on D. Boo!

Can't wait for both the real season and fantasy football as well! Let's go Gayliens!

Sox and Bailey

Hi, My name is Jenni and I'm a cat-a-holic! I fell in love with Sox and Bailey the minute I met them and had some great times with them. I miss them every day and I wish I could be in their lives. Intercontinental break ups just plain suck! Today is the 1 year anniversary of my arrival back to Finland. Time sure does fly when you are having...(enter whatever word you wish here).

It's been 366 days since the last time I saw my step cats and even though I can't see them or meow to them or tell them how much I love and miss them, I can put it out there to the universe. Maybe they'll get the signal. So this post will be for them. I hope they are doing well, are not having any health problems and when it is their time, they'll go peacefully in their sleep without any prolonged complications.

Sox pleasuring, I mean cleaning herself. 

When Donovan (the dog) was visiting, Sox and B wouldn't come further down. Sibling rivalry.

Bailey had the cutest face of any cat EVER. She looked like a kitten dressed up in a grown-up cat's fur.

Just look at that belly and tell me you don't wanna put your face in there and blow like what you do with babies? No? Just me then. I never did because I would be eyeless and maybe even headless...it was a rare occasion you got to touch B's stomach but when you did...it was furry kitty cat heaven on earth! Did I mention I have fat cat's belly-obsession?

When the other mommy wasn't home and Sox was in need of a cuddle, she would occasionally sit in my lap too. On those rare occasions I just had to take a picture because no one would believe me otherwise. Sox was momma's girl, through and through. She wasn't happy about all the pictures I took, which is evident in this pictures. Can we get this over with so I can get back to my nap?

Classic Sox. She loves to nap with her tongue out. This is another one of those get that camera and flash outta my face -moments!

Bailey was abused as a kitten and had trust issues. She wanted to be loved and wanted to be touched but she couldn't trust people (me and T) for more than few seconds at a time. This is one of those moments where she wants to be loved and is showing her cute cards. In those moments, do you capture that in a picture or scratch her stomach? 

Sox always thought she was a human. She loved taking a nap under the covers and her head on a pillow. 

Fat cats chillaxing.

Poor Sox had to have her tooth removed and so they put her under. This is what she looked like when we brought her back home from kitty cat dentist. She looks like a homeless person... err, kitty cat.

Same night, she's hungry. She's high, can you tell. Poor junkie.

Another cute moment from Bailey.

Sox was a David Beckham fan too. She was trying on my jersey. If I hadn't been told no, I would have tried to dress her up in it. Just for a minute, please???

I miss you and love you my furry girls.

Meow!

Promises, Promises...broken

I don't remember much about July 26th of last year.  But this is what I do remember. It's ALL I remember.

Get a job




Find a place




I'll follow you.

Taylor Swift & Colbie Caillat; Breathe

Affair to remember

I'm having an affair.
I'm cheating on my reality.
I've seen her twice.
I can't wait to spend more time with her.
But it's over.
Next year?
Next summer?
PRIDE.

There really are no words for the calm, excited feeling washing over me at Pride's. Going to Helsinki Pride was amazing and even though Tampere Pride was a smaller event in scale, there is nothing better than new friends and old friends and being able to just be yourself and not having to apologize for who you are. Just. be. yourself.

Saturday was amazing. I got to march on a float, have a picnic with great new friends, have drinks with and old but oh so dear friend, listen to Taylor Swift covers played acoustically...and just. be. me. What more can a girl ask for?

At the picnic we participated in a final thesis survey and as a result could participate in a raffle that gave out tickets to Gareth Gates' gig. I won, Ella won and Heidi got 2 chances to get it right. Since Minna was not there with us, she actually had to work, I went to the girl who gave out the tix and asked her if I could possibly get an extra one for our friend. She gave one to me. See, ask and you shall receive!

After the picnic I went to Saara's place to take a shower and change. Once again it was a hot and humid day. I had to get ready to have drinks with Susanna. It was so great to see her after all these years. We kind of picked up right where we left off. And we had a lot of catching up to do. I came out to her via text 5 years ago and we hadn't seen each other since so I wasn't exactly sure how she took it and how she'd handle it. But we had an interesting conversation about it.

She was like I knew way before you were a lesbian.
I was like You did? How?
She's like Remember when you asked me what me and Markus were to each other, if we were dating?
I'm like No...
She's like Well, you had me call him and ask him if we were dating right then and there.
I'm like I did? I don't remember...
She's like yeah, and after that you told me you don't know who you are...I knew then.
I'm like You did? Why didn't you say anything to me?
She's like I couldn't tell you. It wasn't my place.
I'm like But you could have! You could have saved me from so many mistakes...you could have saved me from sleeping with men!!!
And she's like I couldn't. And I also knew from how jealous you were of me.
I'm like Yeah, I was...I was so jealous of you...But I didn't have a crush on you...I don't have a feeling that I let anything slip by me, that there's anyone that I should have been with but didn't understand what I was feeling...But had I've been more aware of who and what I was, I could have been different. Sorry.

So my best friend knew 12 years ago...My mom said she asked me once, before I came out, if I was a lesbian and I denied it. And I guess in all honesty, if people would have told me I was a lesbian before I was ready, I probably would have disowned them. I wasn't ready to face it and I certainly wasn't ready to have people tell me or question me. And I would not be the ME I am today had things gone differently earlier so I guess I should thank Susanna for NOT saying anything to me. And I had the internal homophobe in me which would have denied it all and probably made even bigger mistakes in order to proof people wrong so...

We spent amazing 3 hours reminiscing about all the wonderful things we did in the past and promised to stay in touch. I think I got my friend back. (Insert huge grin here). The girls had changed the plans and instead of going to see Gareth Gates they just wanted to stay at YO-talo and see Stina Girs instead. I didn't know anything about her but I gotta say...thanks you girls for making this decision! She was playing Taylor Swift covers acoustically and I was in heaven. For the past few weeks all I've listened to is Taylor Swift and Colbie Caillat and as country is not really big in Finland, especially the pop country that T.S. plays, You don't have many chances to hear it. When Stina's CD comes out I might actually have to get it!

We left around 1:30-2am, I went to get some food and headed to bed. Eetu, Saara's cat was all kinds of wild throughout the night but he was so cute that you just can't be mad at him for more than a second. Having him pull out all his cute cards, one of witch is playing fetch, did nothing to squash my acute need/desire/want to get a cat.

Now I'm all kinds of shade of red as I might have forgot to put any sunscreen on...actually don't own any...and I burnt my shoulders and neck and my nose is red...maybe in few days I'll be 4 shades of darker-than-my-usual-white. Which will still be whiter than most people.

So...that was my perfect Saturday. Pictures to follow after Heidi sends me some of me and once I have time to upload mine to my computer.

Have a great week everyone!

New York, New York

Today's the first day that gay and lesbian New Yorkers can get married. I am so happy for everyone who can now realize their dreams and show to the world that their love and commitment to each other is worth celebrating for and enjoy their special day(s).

Isn't love grand?

Here's a song to celebrate all the marriages happening in NY right now from one of my new favorites, Colbie Caillat and "I do"

Let's go with random

So much to say, so little time. So I'm just gonna talk about everything today.

• How'bout we start with the weather? The disgustingly humid and hot weather we have here? I can talk about my hatred for humidity and I can talk about my albino skin and cold blood not being ok with this heat and humidity. I cannot stand humidity. It is the absolutely least favorite thing of mine. I will take the -20 degree Celsius temperatures with the whole-lotta-snow we had last winter over this. I'm not kidding. Summers in Finland are supposed to be MILD! But I can stand this for today and tomorrow if it means nice weather for Saturday in Tampere for the Pride Parade. 

• Speaking off...It's gonna be great again! I talked with Heidi yesterday and we have a plan. I'm seeing Susanna in between which is gonna be great and I have a car to take me there. What else could a girl ask for? 

• Me thinks that our fair-skinned red-headed president is secretly a lesbian! Scandalous, I know. But who else but a lesbian would start a website for her recently deceased cat? I mean seriously, think about it. Take a moment to think about. Then take a moment to think about how many times I have mentioned missing Sox and Bailey and wanting a cat. And then go on and google "lesbians" and see what comes up. If the first website doesn't mention lesbians and cats in a sentence or have a picture of a lesbian with her pussy, then you're not on a lesbian website! But seriously lesbian + cat = match-made-in-heaven

• I was going to wear my DeSean Jackson jersey to the Pride march but I don't think I can since it turns out DeSean is a homophobe. He went and said on a live radio interview something about  gay fag*ot or something as appealing and charming...He later apologized after a little media pressure but still. Can't march in a homophobes jersey. 

• Can I call the police at 3am and complain about the noise if I can hear my upstairs neighbor's snoring? He sounds like a sperm whale's mating call. I've never actually heard a sperm whales mating call but he's a guy and supposedly has sperm and it sounds like he's also a big guy, or just fat, so in my mind he's a sperm whale. On a normal night I can hear his low pitched snoring but few nights ago it was so high up I thought he was being tortured. And I wouldn't blame his lady friend for pinching his nose or putting a pillow over his head with the way he yells at her every Friday. He has a booming voice and a booming snore.

• Did I mention I got Blueberry Pie yesterday? I know you're not supposed to capitalize the first letters of that word but seriously, it was that good. And did I mention the personal best on WII bowling? 

• Fanfic is going to be the end of me. That's all I'll say about that.

That actually might be it for now...I'm kinda hungry and there's still a little piece of Blueberry Pie left. Will come back after the Pride if not tomorrow. 

Toodles!

Blueberry Pie

If you are my friend on facebook you probably know all about this and are probably sick and tired of hearing/seeing this but...I JUST HAD 3 SLICES OF BLUEBERRY PIE AND CAME HOME WITH THE 4TH! And after 2 slices we played some WII bowling and I scored my personal best of 218! It was a beat down! Just goes to show that it was all about the pie because Elviira didn't have any and she kinda sucked at bowling today. Like seriously. And this from a girl who when we were working together came to the company's bowling night with her own balls, shoes and bowling bag! And she was seriously kicking some ass that night too. So...if you ever play WII bowling, or if you go bowling for realz, have some blueberry pie first!

Fresh from the oven. Before I got my hands on it...

 First slice with vanilla sauce

 Came home with a doggy bag! Guess what I'm having for breakfast tomorrow?

This just goes to show you that internet campaigns are very effective! You just need to know your audience!

and finally...THANK YOU ELVIIRA!

I'm so stuffed that I need to lay down...This is the most blueberry pie I've had since the first time I had it and that was "every woman for themselves" kinda moment. You snoozed you lost because I had a lot!

Have a good night!

Friendships and relationships

Everybody who knows me knows that I’m kind of a lone wolf. I’ve never made friends easily and I’ve always enjoyed my time alone, my freedom to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I’ve never had a large group of friends around me and I’ve always just had one best friend at a time. But for some reason I’ve never been able to hold on to those best friends. I don’t have a best friend who I’ve known since childhood who I still see regularly or who I call when things get rough. Or whom I confide in.

I think some of those friendships with my best friends have ended because of my jealousy issues. Before I even realized or accepted that I was a lesbian I was jealous of my girl friends when they found boyfriends and didn’t spent as much time with me anymore as they previously did. That’s obviously just the way it goes, it’s natural to want to be with your boy/girlfriend and spend as much time with them as possible. I’m not saying that I had a crush on any of my friends, because honestly there isn’t anyone in my life that I think that way about. Or have any regrets of them slipping by. Or something not happening or whatever. Had I realized who I was when I was a teenager I could have maybe saved a lot of friendships and focused my energy on finding a girlfriend and keeping my friendships as what they were, friendships. And it’s not like they could have understood what was going on with me since I didn’t understand what was going on.

I was bullied in elementary school. I developed earlier than most of my classmates and was made fun of because of it. I was betrayed by people I thought were my friends and who blabbered my business to others. Because of this I have hard time trusting people and I have abandonment issues. You get attached to someone and then they leave or betray you. Or both.

I rarely ask people for help. Asking for help or really asking for anything from anyone is really hard for me.  It’s just easier to not ask than getting disappointed by them. I also don’t want inconvenience people. And when I do and people do what I ask of them or do me a favor it always surprises me. Like the girls from my SETA group all saying of course I can join them at the women’s party. Or people offering to get me something they know I really like. Regina sending me Dunkin Donuts, Gold fish and socks (I always had gold fish as a snack at school and when my foot was all fucked up and I couldn’t wear a shoe on it I was wearing all kinds of funny socks and it became a game in class…what kind of socks was I wearing that day). Gareth offering to send me British candy and searching for a soccer jersey for me on his family vacation in Wales. Elviira and Mikko feeding and hydrating me and listening me to babble on about T when I pretty much had nothing and no one to talk to and didn’t know which way to turn to (not to mention giving me all this furniture) and Marianne listening to me past her bedtime when I was maybe just a little bit tipsy. And Candice driving me around in Jersey making sure I got everything done that I needed to. And no one asks anything in return.

I lost my best friend in October. It’s been really hard since then because I also lost my girlfriend all at the same time.  I can’t bitch about my girlfriend leaving me to my best friend because they were one and the same.  She had a way of making me laugh like no other has before. Or since.  She was the first and only person who made me want to be with another person. Who made me see that being alone wasn’t as much fun as I thought and that sharing my life with someone was far more fulfilling that being alone. I think it’s easier to be the one doing the dumping than be the one who’s being dumped because at least you’re prepared for it. You’re ready to move on.

These past couple of weeks have been hard. Last time this happened was when I was 3. That’s when my mom and dad divorced. This week I’ve been helping my mom clean her new apartment. She and my step dad are separating. And as much as I want my mom to be happy I’m also sad. And I am still not in a place where I can be strong for my mom. I’m still hurting from my own divorce and not in a place where I can see things clearly or give sound advice or be anyone’s sounding board. I have so many things to work through, to deal with my own problems that it’s really hard to deal with my mom’s break up. And even if it’s not from my dad (who wasn’t a dad or husband material), my step dad was part of my life for 24 years. And there’s also my brother. Who’s stronger than he’s given credit for but still he has to move from the only home he’s ever known and his parents are breaking up.

Since I moved to my own apartment I’ve been retreating into myself again. I’ve been pulling away from too much human contact and trying to work through my issues by myself. It feels good to be in silence and not have anybody around me telling what to do but at the same time, I’m also wondering how bad this is for me. I feel anxiety when people ask anything from me or if there are expectations on me. When my mom talks excitedly about her new apartment and everything that goes with it, the decorations, furniture etc, I can’t muster the excitement to answer or ask questions, I just tune out. I can’t help but wonder if T was that excited to move on after she left me and if she thought of me as dead weight that needed to be left behind. I really do want my mom to be happy and I understand that where’s she’s now isn’t what makes her happy but I can’t help but to draw the comparison. And I’m hurting all over again. I really thought I was doing better but this has shown me that I still have a long way to go. And my best friend isn’t here.

Ricky Martin was IN MY HOME TOWN TODAY!!!

So...Facebook is exploding from every person from/around Forssa posting an article about Ricky Martin stopping at a service station in Forssa today. So Obviously I needed to post about it too!

It's not every day a world famous gay man visits my home town! Who cares if he was on his way to Pori Jazz where he was performing later? He was still in Forssa for a brief second!

And why do I care?
WE
ARE
FAMILY...

Lets put our rainbow flags up and be proud! I just need to buy one first...
Not that I was anywhere near where he was today but on the one day I am NOT sporting every rainbow bracelet/ankle thingy-do Ricky Martin stops by in my home town??? Where is this world going?
You can see a picture of him here:  Ricky Martin in Forssa

Anyway...back to your regular programming now...

Smiles all around

I've had a quite a shitty week and it's not even over yet, nor does it stop next week BUT... I just had to post this. A week from now is Tampere pride and I have no idea what the plans are or if I'm even seeing anyone I know or what's going on and how I'm getting there etc....but this much I know: few days ago I sent a text to my old best friend and roommate and asked her if she wants to go have coffee/drinks/something to eat after the parade and before the night festivities start and she just answered that lets do terrace if it's nice! YES! LETS!

It's been 6 or 7 years since we last saw each other... a lot has happened since then. But I just couldn't stop smiling when I got that text. Will be fun times!

Some of the things we did 12 years ago:
-After my matriculation exams were over in 1999 we worked together at the Voyager of the Seas (at the time the worlds largest cruise ship) in Turku (technically Naantali) harbor as cleaners after the fire during construction. We drank ever possible night that bars were open so we were hungover quite a lot. Sometimes when one of us was too hangover to work we let each other sleep at the roof the bathrooms in the cabins. And brought buckets for each other to throw up. Good times!

-We watched every possible ice hockey world championship game in a bar during happy hour and drank as many beers/ciders/lonkero's and salmiakki kossu shots as possible. No wonder we were hungover so much. (And no wonder I can't drink booze or lonkero anymore)

-Oe time during a game a guy got little too obnoxious so I spilled my beer on his crotch on purpose (and ran away)! She followed me little later.

-That midsummer we went to Yyteri camping. I dared her to kiss Hanno Möttölä (Finnish basketball player who used to play for Atlanta Hawks) and she did!

-We/I named her car Henri because its license place started with HNR. We also talked to Henri a lot because he was kind of a woman, hormonal and very moody. Sometimes he purred like kitten and sometimes he didn't start at all.

-The only time she came to visit me in Tampere while I was studying there she met her now baby daddy/husband/boyfriend/fiance.

So there...I can't wait!

A longer and rambling post is coming...so much to process...so many things to discuss.

Have a happy weekend!

Toodles!

Fifa World Cup

So I was watching the women's world cup football match yesterday between Brazil and USA. I actually wasn't even sure what time the game was on but saw on twitter someone mentioning the earlier game and then I had to check what time this game was on and kinda stumbled into it.

As a lesbian I guess I shouldn't say this but I've never been a fan of women's sports... except Finnish women's basketball and that's only because my first real crush was a basketball player and I didn't even realize I had a crush on her until I came out of the closet and by that time it had been almost 10 years since I had the crush...We could discuss all the stalker-y things I did when I was crushing on her in my teens but we'll save it for another time...(or never) and she was 7 years older than I am. Anyway, she was the reason I was watching basketball...outside of her and her team I couldn't really care less and since she retired I haven't really felt that "passion" for basketball or any other women's sport since.

T went to college on a football scholarship and played since she could walk (I think) so she had a reason to watch Team USa and got me kinda sucked into watching them when they were on. She also played against one of the defenders of Team USA in college so I kinda sorta have a "2 degrees of separation" from team USA... I've kinda been on anti-USA kick since she left me so I wasn't sure where my alliance would lie with this game. But soon after I started watching it and the Brazilians were taking grass samples (aka laying on the ground after obvious dives) and the ref so blatantly was blind/stupid/bought I just couldn't help myself, I found myself cheering for team USA. I was cheering for Hope Solo to save the penalty and she did...only for the ref to order a re-take and Marta scoring from it and tying the game. Then in the over time Brazil scored and looked like they were heading for a win...Erika faking an injury after looking around to see if anyone was watching only to get off the stretchers right outside the pitch and run towards the center field to get back to the game...and for Abby Wambach to score 2 minutes into the added extra 3 minutes....I was yelling and screaming and jumping up and down from excitement! If there is one thing I hate in any sports it's the diving. Football and Ice Hockey are my all time 2 favorite sports and in both you see divers and whiners that take away from the game. You don't see that so much with women's sports in general but boy were the Brazilians diving and whining. And they were the better team, they had the posession of the ball, they were more dangerous and they had better chances to score and had they focused on scoring instead of taking grass samples, they could have easily won the game. But USA never gave up, never stopped fighting and never lost faith and basically with their one last chance they scored. Penalty kicks.

USA went first... Brazil keeper saved but she was miles away from her line and never corrected herself. If you take anything away from that game, it's the fact that you should always LEARN something from either your mistakes or the opponents mistakes and sadly Brazil keeper learned nothing! They got their 1st goal from re-taken penalty and then in the PK's she always got to the 6m line, was way off the goal line. Thankfully Americans scored from there on and Hope Solo saved the 3rd try from Brazil so USA advanced.

Most of the game I had the game on on one side of the screen and Tweet deck on the other and I was watching what people were saying about the game. I'm not sure which was more entertaining, the actual game with the divers/whiners/bad refs or people tweeting about it. I was laughing so hard at one point that I wasn't even sure what was happening anymore.

Here are some gems from yesterdays tweets:

• NotHansBacke
  I wish Wambach would go down on me that easily. #WWC (Funny because AW is a lesbian, we're 99% sure)
• hogan_stanger
  This Brazil team is filled with RonaldinHoes #WWC (If you don't get it, well...)
• FortyDeuceTwits
  Possession. It's not just a Sarah McLachlan song. It's also your friend. #wwc (Love Sarah McLachlan)
• BishopsBlaize
  When girls are having theyre period, they shouldent be allowed to referee. #WWC (As a woman I should be up in arms and ready to kill this man for saying such a stupid thing but this ref was AWFUL) 
• sanderspga
  If I new a Brazilian I would kick them in the shin out of principle!! US women just got screwed! #WWC (me too [would kick a brazilian, did not just get screwed!])
• Whereismyrobot
  Trusted not a lot of urgency with Brazil because they know the check has already cleared. #wwc #uswnt (Someone so paid that ref to whistle the way she did...that bad)
• ssspoonah
  "That Ref's call was an act of war. Face it, we've bombed countries for a lot less." #hearditsoItweetit #wwc #usa (Let's face it, you totally have!)
• JasonGilbert7
  Wow I haven't seen a corner that bad since I was in time out. #USA #WWC (Just LOL!)
• MisterMaryJane
  RT @jbboyles76: So with the red card, the puts Brazil up 4 players now! Refs should just put yellow jerseys on. #wwc #smfh (If you were cheering for USA, that's how you felt)
• alexbahlavouni
  The economy in brasil must be amazing bc they have all this money to pay the refs. #wwc #offside? (Second goal for Brazil came from offside)
• juc2
  @HarrisAuston Never give up we have Hope! #wwc (Hope Solo saved 2 penalties that night but ref took one away. Thankfully the second counted!)

And that's the game! USA will play France in the semi's on Wednesday and Sweden will play Japan... Not sure who I'll be cheering if Sweden and USA play each other in the final. Sweden apparently has 6 out players in the starting 11...There's a bunch of american players who are rumored to be lez but haven't said it, so... I guess I'll need to see how the semi's go and then if the "dream" final is realized, well, I'll just see how I feel when the game starts. And I do have 2 USA jerseys...0 Swedish. I actually wore my Tim Howard jersey for the PK's and even said on twitter :

IllegalGaylien Wearing my Tim Howard jersey for Hope Solo! #SaveThemAll #WWC 10.7.11 9:04 PM

So there! It's because of me Team USA won and Hope Solo saved that pk! You're welcome! 

Later!

Helsinki Pride 2011

Helsinki Pride was a ton of fun! I got there in the afternoon, checked into my hotel, went to get something to eat and met up with couple of my former classmates from Tampere, Iita and Antti. We went to a terrace, had few beers and just chatted away for few hours. It has been few years since the last time I saw Antti so it was great catching up. We were neighbors in Tampere, lived in the same apartment building, watched episodes of Friends and IM'd each other when we needed to go out for a beer. I've missed those "lets see in 5 minutes" pub outings. Anyway, as it got close to 8pm I had to make my exit as I still had to get ready for the women's party. I texted with Katja to see where she was at and what time she was going. We made plans to meet at Kaivohuone. I got there maybe around 9:30...it was hot as hell, around 27 degrees so walking all the way there probably wasn't my wisest idea but whatever. It was weird being there already that early as usually in Finland we go to bars around midnight if not after. But this also was the biggest women's party of the year so if you go to an event like this once a year, you do want to get it all in. There was a quite a long line to get in for those who hadn't bought their tickets in advance. I had so I just walked in. I walked around the place few times, checked to see if I knew anybody and proceeded to get a drink. I saw one of the girls from Seta training but wasn't exactly sure it was her so I waited and walked around some more. First couple of hours I spent with Katja and her friends. Was introduced to a bunch of people and was even told by one of them that she's seen me around. Told her it couldn't have been me as a) I don't live in Helsinki and b) I had spent the past 3 years in USA. So we came to the conclusion that I have a twin sister somewhere. Or impersonator! Hope I don't lose my identity as well...

We were sitting inside and I could see when Minna and her friends came there but they headed outside and when I went to look for them I couldn't find them. Sucks being this short sometimes. And Minna's not all that tall either so I couldn't spot her because of her height either. When she came inside I went to say hi and then followed her outside where they were sitting. I was introduced to her friends and spent the rest of the night with them. We chatted, danced and drank. They invited me to march with them the next day...When it was time to go I got a lift from them too.

I was at my hotel little after 2am but before that I went to get some McDonald's. I had 2 beers with Antti and Iita before the party and 3 beers at the party with glasses of iced water in between because I didn't want to get too drunk and I was really just trying to manage the hangover. I'm not one of those people who function well with a hangover, quite the opposite actually, so I wanted to make sure that I wasn't getting too drunk and embarrass myself and then have a hangover from hell when it's billion degrees outside and I'm spending the day in the sun. I also drank a bottle of water before going to bed. Hydration's the key to good hangover management!

On saturday I had breakfast, took a shower and got ready for the parade. I checked out little early just so that I could go take my backpack to the lockers at the train station and go get some coffee before heading to the Senate Square.

 Senate Square. This is where the Parade started. I was there early, like 1,5 h so that's why it's so empty.

 Minna was in charge of inflating the balloons. She's a member of the Left Alliance, political party in Finland which is why we were marching with them.

Amnesty was there too.

Pride fashion

 More Pride fashion

 Nice backpack

 Heidi is ready for the Parade!

 Nyyti was channelling her inner character from the movie "Up" and almost flew away with the balloons.

Paavo Arhinmäki, chairman of Left Alliance and current Minister of Sports and Culture. I was rubbing elbows with the government!

 Ready...set...Here we go!

 And we're marching!

 Ella in yellow. Minna and Nyyti were marching in front of the Left Alliance group.

 At the train station in front of a Pride Art. I had to be in 1 picture to proof I actually was there! Nice job Heidi! (taking the picture, not the art) I look fat btw...

 4 euro iced latte. Not as good as DD but I was dying for it! It was the best iced latte I've EVER had in Finland! At that point 3 hours in the direct sunlight, little dehydrated and hungry...made a delightful Jenni! When I took the first sip and sigh'd and smiled Heidi was like "Better than sex, huh?"

Picnic at the park afterwards. I was still little dehydrated and hungover so I wasn't drinking at the park. Just water and sports drinks for me. 

I had a lot of firsts with this Pride Parade. First women's party, and first Pride in Finland. This was my first time marching too. NYC Pride was always spent drinking and spending time with old and new friends. Dunno if T ever even thought about marching but I never even thought about it because I wasn't sure if it was possible. Now I've found out via twitter that yes, it's possible. And possible groups to march with could have been HRC, Immigration equality and obviously MSU.

The whole experience was amazing and I'm definitely doing it again next year provided that I'm still in Finland. It was great to get out, get to know some new people and be amongst "my peeps". I left the picnic around 6 when I had made a date with Antti and Sauli to have drinks with them. Sauli couldn't make it on Friday because of work so we had made plans to see each other before I left. We sat at a terrace, drank some beer and chatted away. It has been 4 or 5 years since the last time I saw her too so we had a lot to catch up. I took the 9pm bus and was home little after 11pm. All together a great weekend and a mental break from the tedious everyday life! I felt like I recharged my batteries and will do it again in 2 weeks time at Tampere Pride!

What this Pride experience taught me... Finland is a VERY small place! I've always heard that lesbian circles are really small everywhere and if you date more than few people in your lifetime the chances are you will meet and date people that your friends have dated and that your circle of friends is most probably going to include some of your exes as well. Well, something has gone seriously wrong if my ex shows up in my circle of friends as she's not in this country, continent or even where we used to live! While me and Heidi were coming back to the picnic area from our coffee and grocery run she ran into a friend of hers from Turku...proceeded to introduced us and I realized she was from Forssa! I have a feeling that "6 degrees of separation" is more like 2 or 3 degrees in Finland...and you can connect almost everybody through few mutual friends or acquaintances! 

That instance right there was a little wake up call for me... The circles here are really small. Everybody knows everybody. How do I fit in in all of this? And this might sound funny or weird or whatever, but I'm gonna have to learn a whole new language...sounds weird since I'm Finnish but it's true. And culture. I seriously sometimes feel like an outsider in my own country. But I'll learn. I'll adapt. Ever since I realized I was a lesbian I have been with an American...speaking English...getting my "cultural cues" from an American... Finland and Finnish culture is totally foreign for me. And nobody knew what my Lebanese T-shirt meant or represented. I am a gaylien!

So there...that was my PrideParade experience. One day I will go to London Pride and some day to Euro Pride. And I'm not done with NYC Pride Parade either. I know the place to be at! 

Later!

I'm in love

It's been 6 years since the last time I fell in love so I'm not exactly sure how it goes...I'm little rusty I think. My symptoms are:
Big smile on my face all the time.
Inability to focus on anything for more than few seconds at a time.
Need to touch constantly.
Need to see all the time.
Feeling restless.

Isn't that what falling in love feels like?

And the object of my affection? My new tattoo!

And while we're not on the subject...WTF happened to the mild and NOT HUMID summers in Finland? I think I'm allergic to this weather! I hate feeling lethargic and like catching my breath is a chore. I hate the constant itching and sweating. I spent 3 years away and all of a sudden we have some kind of Mediterranean climate. And the fucking people are still saying there's no such thing as climate change! F You! I remember reading an article few years ago which said that in the not-so-distant-future Nordic countries are gonna turn into the new Mediterranean and turn into a tourist countries... Warm weather and beaches...and the Mediterranean region will be too hot for tourism. I thought that was decades away. If this continues I'm gonna have to move to further north or just pack my bags and go to Antarctica! This could be bearable if we had some kind of ocean/lake breeze but no. And my albino skin does not respond to heat and sun. not favorably that is. My so called freckles are pink/red. I wonder if I spent more time in the sun if they would actually turn into real freckles or even a "tan"? I do like the fact that I can wear shorts and tees/tanks but Dear Grilled Cheesus, this is too much! 25 degrees and no humidity, please?

I heard a rumor yesterday that my one woman online campaign for blueberry pie has reached its target audience and blueberry pie is in the works within the next few weeks! Internet is such an amazing medium...if my lobbyist/loan shark careers don't pan out, I might also consider career in the internet advertising sector! And seriously...since there's no immediate global warming happening anyway, there's really no need for environmental engineers/managers anyway so I can just forget about that.

As per my new diet, I have had groups #1, 2, 3 and 7 today. Made another f*ing amazing pasta salad today. It had both mozzarella and "greek style cheese". I'd pat myself in the back but it's too hot to move so I'll just verbally congratulate myself. Well done!

I'll be back tomorrow... later!

How many milkshakes a day are too many?

I bought a blender yesterday and as soon as I came home I made a strawberry milkshake. Today after lunch I made a banana strawberry one. Now I'm getting hungry and am thinking about making another. And since it's billion degrees outside with a trillion % air humidity index, I just might have to stay on this milkshake diet until this heatwave is over.

Last summer when we were on a strict budget and had to cut back on some things, we ALWAYS found a way to include strawberries and ice cream in our shopping list. I'm not gonna lie, I chased after ice cream sales! I had to have my milkshakes! I would kill for Wendy's strawberry frosty shake right now...milkshake, whipped cream and a cherry on top! Yum! If Wendy's and DD could surface in Finland, I'd be in heaven!

I am implementing a new fashionable diet. I think I'm gonna call it Suvi diet (summer diet), because this is pretty much how I've lived this summer and I wouldn't necessarily do this during the long cold winter months. The main food groups are:

1) Smoked salmon on a rye bread. You get your fish and your fiber from this group.

2) Salads. Made a fabulous pasta salad few days ago and ate it in 2 days. The key is CHEESE! Feta, or if you are in the European Union, " Greek styled cheese" as Feta has been reserved for cheese made in Greece... or Mozzarella...lots and lots of cheese. You get your greens and your calcium. And carbs if you use pasta.

3). Milkshakes with fruit. Go crazy with your favorite fruits and just have as many as your stomach can handle! You get your daily dose of calcium and fruits. And it's delicious! And it also keeps you cool internally for like a second...

4) Elviira's Blueberry Pie. It's a shame if you do not know Elviira or if you don't live in/near Forssa but it's to die for. That's what I'm doing right now...dying waiting... But it gives you your berries. Important! It is not necessary to have this pie every day... in fact, if you did, you might not appreciate it as much as you otherwise are, so once or twice a summer is plenty. With a doggy bag to take home to. But now I'm just rambling...

5) Beer/cider at a terrace. Hydration is the key to any heatwave! Little ice water every once in a blue moon is also recommended. Just don't drink alone. That's not part of the diet.

6) Ice Cream. If Elviira's Blueberry Pie is not an option, you should eat as much ice cream as possible. I consider mango melon ice cream to count towards my daily dose of fruits so go out there and have all the fruit ice cream you can.

7) Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Don't care how you drink it, just do! It gives you...caffeine!

As you can see, this diet does not count calories, carbs, fats, salts, sugar or any of the other things people stare at. If this results with excess jello around your waist...just remember, bears eat during the summer too so that they have fatty layer to keep them warm during the long months of hibernation! You'll thank me in the winter when you are warm!

Now I'm hungry. Gotta check if my rye bread has de-frosted. Cannot have group #1 if I have no bread!

Toodles!

Elviira's Blueberry Pie

I'm starting an online petition to get blueberry pie. It's been way too long and I kinda had forgotten all about it until yesterday when The Neck Flirter herself mentioned it on Facebook. I haven't been able to think about anything else since then so...Can you please bake me some soon? Pretty please? This campaign should be very effective and find it's target audience as Elviira is one of the 3 people who regularly reads my blog. And if not...I am prepared to start a fan page on Facebook for Elviira's Blueberry Pie. I might even order a t-shirt with a picture of a blueberry pie and parade around in it. I'm very impressionable and not above persuading people into doing what I want. I should be a lobbyist. Or a loan shark.

Speaking off impressionable...look what I bought!

Whoever that Swedish person was who started this whole Lion cub business...was a GENIUS! So thank you! Heja Tre Kronor...not! LOL! Now we have "Den Glider In" and This cute little baby lion. I'll take it!

Now if only we could get a rainbow behind him... I should really learn photoshop, shouldn't I?

Toodles!

Gaydar

I just tested my gaydar here and apparently mine is 70% accurate! And I'm better at recognizing men than women. Surprise surprise! I could have told you that! No wonder I'm the only lesbian in my universe!

I dunno if I'll be able to spend my summers in Finland soon if this heat and humidity continue...I feel like I'm back in NYC. Helsinki was so nice with the ocean breeze. No such luck in Fogerty. On Saturday I spent 10+ hours in the sun, first 2 without sun block and the rest with only one application and I still wasn't burned badly. Only little redness can be detected on the tip of my nose and I actually got color! I'm maybe 2 shades less-white than I was before, which isn't saying much with the shade of white I normally am.  Gotta say though, had I spent 10 hours in the sun in USA I would be burned to crisp or dead. No way would I have been able to stay in the sun that long. My worst ever sun burn was acquired in 30 minutes in NJ and I was pealing the skin from my upper thighs for months afterwards. Just chunks of it came off. Was good times. Learned my lesson though.

Funny how when you can't/ are not allowed to do something, you really wanna do it. I can't go swimming for few days since my ink needs to heal... and esp. today I really wanted. I went to get an ice cream cone today and was sweating my ass off. Hate the humidity. As I was walking home I really just wanted to go get the car and drive to the lake. But I can't even stay outside too long because I can't burn my arm so I'm staying inside for the rest of the week. Maybe next week.

Pride parade update coming up, I promise!

Toodles!

Oh yeah...Next project/countdown: Kitty cat! I find it that if I have a countdown or a project coming up, life's not that bad. So I'm working out the details now.

Love is Love

Well, we kinda missed the second countdown all together, didn't we? It's Tuesday now and I'm already been inked so oops! Blink and it was done too...

Beautiful, isn't it? LOL

I will tell you all about Helsinki Pride in few days once my arm heals and I can actually write without the  tattoo brushing up against my side or the computer.

Until then...have a great week!

Toodles!

Anybody know what day it is?

It's Friday, Friday...

Since I love Glee I'm using their version instead of the original!

Now I will enjoy my cup(s) of coffee in this muggy weather, take a shower, do my hair (very important to have an amazing hair day today) and will head out to Helsinki at noon! People to see, fun to be had...energizing to be done!

Hope ya'll have a fantabulous weekend and if you can...get your gay on! I know I will!

Toodles!